Can't get over my race

NotFeelingMyself · 2012-08-03T15:17:16+00:00

GREAT QUESTION

It's such an old cliché that you have to love yourself before you love someone else -- but how on earth do you go about that??

This is exactly what the basic fundamentals of seduction are about. You are starting at Inner Game Ground Zero.

The first step is to forget about pickup, approach, and seduction -- those come later. Here on Seddit we get a bad reputation as a place where nerdy neckbeards and teen virgins come to learn cheezy lines about Astronaut Pants so we can 'manipulate' women into sleeping with us. This what happens when you put the cart before the horse.

(Sidenote: I used to teach music and many mature students would ask for lessons but only to learn one piece perfectly, as they thought this was an easy way to show off. Not only is this shallow, tacky, fraudulent, self-serving, and lazy; it's also not possible. Proper technique comes from years of practising a multitude of pieces. It's the same mentality as people who come here looking for the Golden Pickup Routine.)

You need to begin by asking yourself (a) what sort of women am I interested in attracting? and then (b) become the kind of man that attracts those women.

Change your life into one that is interesting, stimulating, passion-filled, remarkable, and unique. Not just for women, but for you. Then (eventually) when you want to approach a girl you'll have something meaningful to offer.

Random textbook example:

"Hey, every Thursday I try out a new restaurant in town, just to see what it's like -- with whichever of my friends are around. Care to join us at the Lebanese place? I hear the appetizer mezze is exceptional. And I think my friends would love you!"

It's a nice setup, showing her that you have interests, friends, a social life; it's flattering (notice the wording is not "you'd love my friends"); and it's a low-pressure, non-threatening casual date.

But the most salient point here is that, even if she refuses, this is the kind of thing you should be doing with your life anyway!

Start building a life you love, and you'll love yourself. Good luck.

our_glass · 2012-08-03T12:46:43+00:00

Are you KIDDING ME? I see these posts a little too often.

Sounds like you need to "date yourself" for a little bit.

Write down some things you like about yourself, sharpen the things you like and improve on the things you don't like. Be honest with yourself. Let your ego and personality come out more, I garauntee you that it is unique and someone will fall for it. Color doesn't mean a damn thing. My tracklist is a freckin rainbow. Women are emotional creatures, they don't care much for race! (and if they do, not worth wasting your time on!)

EDIT: check out Kong of SimplePickup. Personally I think he has little 'game' but his personality and ability to improvise gets him soooo far.

TheLightningnThunder · 2012-08-03T15:29:00+00:00

Ive been reading some terrible advice man. I'm a big buff Mexican dude. And I go to school in east Texas. Most people there don't like me, fear me, and that breeds contempt. Anyways before I started doing all this self improvement stuff, I was so conscious about my race. I felt I was being seen like a big stupid gardener that couldn't speak English and smelt like burritos. I used to hate being Mexican. Felt like it held me back as a pre med student. After a lot of self work It started going away and I started to embrace that part of me more. People arent colorblind man. They will have preconceptions about you. But that reflects only on what type of person THEY are. Not who YOU are. It shows their ignorance and inferiority and fear. Not anything about you. It could be any other Asian dude they see and they would feel the same. Its important to remember that because it makes their hate feel less specific. Also don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Embrace it and remember we are all Americans regardless of color. Also man work and meditate more. Its amazing the things you can find out about yourself when you sit quietly and look within yourself for an hour. One last thing related to pickup. Dont think so much, let go of the outcome and do. PM if you want to talk more man.

stillakilla · 2012-08-03T17:23:44+00:00

Fuck. That. Noise.

I'm Asian, and I completely disagree with you. I could give a fuck less what the thought in the back of my head is whining about when I talk to an attractive girl. You have to ~~think~~ know you are superior.

If you go in with the thought in your mind that you're going to fail, you're going to fail. It's as simple as that.

wtfOP · 2012-08-03T14:53:50+00:00

Well shit, somebody had to post it. This has been on my mind for a while now (I'm also asian, btw)... but I guess the point is that you'll have to play the cards you are dealt. There are obviously going to be people who will absolutely be biased towards differences in races and really, there isn't much you can do about that. However, this doesn't mean you can't be competitive in the field of dating. In this day and age, we've become progressive (at least in places like big cities) to a point where there are A LOT of open minded people exist and do not mind dating others who are not of their race / skin color.

If you feel that you do not wish to subscribe to the Asian stereotypes, then change yourself to who YOU want to be. Work on your looks, be it fashion or physique. If you don't like the stereotypical Asian look, change it. People will notice.

When it comes down to it, it is what it is. You are, for the most part, disadvantaged in some ways when it comes to dating. But that just means you'll have to work on yourself harder to make up for whatever shortfalls you may feel that you have. And if they don't give you the time of the day JUST because you're Asian, then fuck them. You don't need that shit. There are plenty of people who don't care about shit like that.

tldr: It is what is is. Moping does nothing. Just gotta accept reality and work on yourself.

promise_reprise · 2012-08-03T13:21:23+00:00

learn to act like bruce lee. not his fighting skills but his confidence and body language.

our_glass · 2012-08-03T12:37:55+00:00

OK HERE IT IS.... READY?

Grow a personality.

I have seen fat, freckled, bald gingers, land hotties because they were funnier than shit and the kind of person everyone liked to be around.

CSimpson1162 · 2012-08-03T14:29:20+00:00

My background is half Irish half Scottish. Whenever I see a slightly exotic looking girl I will ask her about her ethnicity and then tell her my background. Then I tell her "So yeah, I'm pretty much as white as you can get" jokingly. They usually eat this up because it shows that I am not at all exotic, but I am very comfortable talking about it (I'm 5'5 by the way). Ethnicity is a great conversation starter.

I would say that you should learn to joke about your asian background. Tell a girl that you could destroy her in a spelling bee any day. Stuff like this is golden.

PinguWithAnM · 2012-08-03T15:42:45+00:00

I won't lie, in Caucasian-majority countries, East Asian (which I'm assuming you are) guys are at a bit of a disadvantage. Race does matter; it's not all bad, it's not all good, it's just a fact of life. But the thing is, any advantage/disadvantage that comes with your race stems largely from stereotypes, and therefore is inherent by nature, and there's not much you can do about that, so stop dwelling on it. That said, it's important to accurately examine the effect that your ethnicity has on your "game". How much do you conform to the stereotype usually attached to your race? What sets you apart from other Asian men? For that matter, what sets you apart from men of other races?

I'm an Asian guy as well, but I'm a little different from the guy in here who seems to be like some kind of Asian supremacist. That's cool with me, it's great to have pride in your ancestry. What I would advise, however, is to not lose sight of where you are and who you want to be. Stop thinking that Asian males are inferior to everyone else. There are absolutely no objective grounds for this, and when you think this way, you're dragging yourself down, and you're dragging the rest of us down. Please don't think like that. There are girls out there that like Asian guys. I don't know if you've seen it, but there used to be a weird novelty Reddit account going around posting a video slideshow of literally dozens of Asian guy-Caucasian girl couples. It's a strange and vaguely creepy example, but surely it's proof enough.

Personally, I've played the Asian card as reasonably well as I could. I've had girls come up to me in clubs just to talk to me because I'm from a different country, and I don't conform to the stereotype all that much. It might be somewhat easier for me since there aren't too many of us here to begin with, but being Asian is my niche, so to speak. I use it to differentiate myself from all the other guys in the vicinity, and when it seems like stereotypes are about to get in my way, I either steer the conversation away, or outright break the stereotype. It doesn't always work; I'm a geeky Asian guy who is into video games. But it's important to at least try to develop a distinct persona. Go clay pidgeon shooting or something weird like that; go make friends with lads from different countries - no one's inferior or superior when everyone around you is different! Like others have already said, it's all about inner game; perceived ethnic disadvantage is, for a large part, in your head. To illustrate this point, read your post again.

I'm sorry that this comment turned into such a rambling rant, but I really do hope you shake the Asian blues. Couple of final points; watch Kong from Simple Pickup, like the top commenter suggests. Does he let being Asian affect his game, or does he incorporate that into his persona and routines to his advantage?

Also, be wary of girls who are a little bit too into Korean culture, even if they show interest in you, because they can be bizarre creatures. /r/kpop is a fine example.

5yy · 2012-08-03T15:40:05+00:00

Aah so much advice here to only date Asian girls. I'm Asian and have dated everything. I'm medium height medium build and not the greatest teeth. And all the non-Asian girls I've dated / fucked, I've always been their first Asian.

Girls like variety just like guys do. It's about being different. Lots of weird advice here but if you wanna chat with someone asian that was forever friendzoned then became someone successful pm me and I would love to chat with you.

Viend · 2012-08-03T12:28:55+00:00

Watch simple pickup on YouTube. And check out kong.

ihaveabu · 2012-08-03T16:26:07+00:00

loll i'm loving the amount of racism in the comments.

write down a list of negative stereotypes about asian americans:

nerdy
shy
small penis
small build
funny accent

There's probably a few more but I'll tackle these for now.

So basically, asians are unattractive as fuck to American chicks (even Asian american chicks lolll)

Now that you have a list, go through each and every one and figure out how to not fall into the negative stereotype.

nerdy: This one is easy. Spend more time hanging out with people, be more social. School isn't worth shit if you can't express yourself like a confident person (at least in the US). One example: I'm an engineer by day, but I DJ at bars/clubs at night. I play guitar, and most of my friends are girls. Just cuz you were brought up by asian parents who told you to study doesn't mean you can't do something else.
Shy: This is harder. All inner game stuff. Find something you can love about yourself. Look into blueprint decoded (great series on inner game).
Small penis: This one is easy. There's 2 types of penis, the ones that hang when flaccid, and the ones that contract when flaccid. White/black/other races all share the same 2 types of penis. Learn to use your small penis. Watch pros give girls orgasms in porn. Learn how to use your fingers/tongue. Most girls don't climax from your penis anyway. Also, measure your shit erect. If it's 5 inches or so, it's average sized. Just because the rest of the country thinks you have a small penis doesn't mean you can't give a girl a good time. My record was 15 squirting orgasms in 1 night (hydration became a problem so we stopped). Nothing to do with my penis size...
Small build: This one is easy. Go to the gym! I've been working out on/off for the last 5 years, and now I walk around with a 6 pack and I turn heads when I go running or when I'm at the gym. Just because most asian guys are nerdy and spend all their time studying doesn't mean you have to. Spend some time bulking up. It's not hard. Go to bodybuilding.com and read some guides and get some supplements. Kris Gethin's coming out with a great 4 week bulking guide in a few weeks. He knows his shit.
Funny accent: This one is fun to mess with people with. Learn to speak english properly, and just fuck with people who think you can't. Pick up chicks sounding like that dumbass from 16 candles, or that idiot from breakfast at tiffany's. It's hilarious.

This should get you started. All the other negative stereotypes stem off of these anyway.

The way I saw this: If my brain can do engineering and math and shit, then fuck this isn't nearly as hard.

To give you an opposite side of the problem: I have never dated an asian girl. I have only dated white chicks in my life so far, and I have yet to pop my asian cherry. I was kinda raised here so I'm a huge twinkie, but nonetheless, if I can do it, so can you.

TL;DR Asians have an extra hurdle to get over in the path to picking up girls in western countries (altho europe isn't nearly as racist as the US from what I've seen). So Asians have to work a bit harder, but the results are the same. If you get over the hurdles, you're running the same race as everyone else. pun intended ;p

yenners · 2012-08-03T22:15:22+00:00

Your race matters for less than 5 seconds. Always remember that. You can have all the negative stereotypes about a person, but those can be shattered within seconds of talking to someone. I'll admit that I'm a little racist towards black people. Some stereotypes I have about them is that they are dishonest, cheaters, irresponsible, dangerous, gangster and stupid. But guess what, if a well dressed black man comes up to me and talks to me, friendly, funny, and intelligent, I'm not going to think any of those stereotypes about them. All of those things that I previously thought about that person before I knew him is instantly gone. We all know people that do not fit the stereotype of being black/asian whatever. You do not have to be like that. The reason why Asian men are typically regarded as unattractive is because the stereotype among Asians is that they are very shy, and quiet, and insecure. All of those things you can change.

koolaidman123 · 2012-08-03T15:23:00+00:00

If you dont think its a problem, then there is no problem.

Terraton · 2012-08-03T16:37:21+00:00

Hi, Asian here also. I'm in the same boat as you and trying to climb out of it. I believe like most guys, it's a mental block - those thoughts in the back of your head? Nearly every guy who has AA has the same issues - without the last sentence. Society hasn't given Asian males a good rap and thinking this way sucks. Try to re-frame it in your mind so that you think, "There are so many other guys around, I'm Asian so I've got an upper leg on all the other white boys around me". Apply the re-framing technique (similar to what superyay mentioned) when you hit upon those stereotypes when you have a conversation.

Honestly, if someone has those kind of thoughts about someone's ethnicity and you pick up on it when you first meet them, then it's probably better for you not to associate with those people.

I also believe it's who you surround yourself with, if you roll only with Asians then it's easy for someone outside the group to perceive that also. I've rolled into clubs/parties with only Asian friends, and other times it has been mixed, its sad say that it's typically better for gaming when the group is more diverse. Probably because its a good example of having a DHV without actually needing to do so.

CorgiTeaTime · 2012-08-03T17:57:59+00:00

No girls like asian guys.

This is absolutely not true. While it's not as common to find a girl who into black or white guys, it's not that uncommon either. You're imagining a barrier that isn't really there!

takenoshit1 · 2012-08-03T18:17:17+00:00

"how do you get over something you strongly dislike yourself about"

First Let me just give you a big fuck you for saying something like that. If you said something like that to me, i would punched you on the nuts. You should never ever be sorry or feel sorry for something you cannot control. Stop seeing yourself as an Asian and just see yourself as a human being. Race should not be issue with anything. in my everyday social interactions... I do not see race... I just see people and I observe their personality... Stop being asshole to yourself.

When I talked to people I don't think that I am better than them nor I am beneath them... I have so much to offer as do they... I don't get jealous of men with hot girls, I give them props, if fucking David Beckam came into a bar, I would see him as an equal, and not be feel inferior, because I know I have as much as to offer as he does...

If you want some inspiration, I am a short Asian male, with a stutter... I have dated many races Spanish to white, and black... Had a threesome with two HB 8 one Irish the other blonde, both taller than me... Working on another right now...

What you need is a good reality check... Snap out of it and start seeing everyone as personalities rather than races...

texture · 2012-08-03T19:41:28+00:00

Bruce Lee man. Bruce Lee.

KhemikalReaction · 2012-08-03T21:27:39+00:00

First, I'm going to say that I'm a white girl. My boyfriend is Chinese. At the beginning of our relationship he would tell me the same things that I just read in your post. It baffles me. Race isn't an issue at all for me and it isn't an issue for most of the girls I know. You certainly aren't inferior to anybody by virtue of your genetics. He is the most genuinely sweet and intelligent guy I've ever dated.

Having said that. To answer your question: just make sure there is something else about yourself that you really like. Once you have that one thing to be really confident about then everything else sort of starts falling into place. Say you are an artist. Work on that until you can be proud of it; then you can feel proud of it and stop focusing on what you dislike until you realize it isn't as big a deal as it seems now. Your race isn't something you can change. You can only change your opinion of it and there isn't an easy and surefire way to change that.

As for talking to girls. I think the best way to handle that is to not put as much weight on it. We are people. Some of us are bitches. Some of us are morons. Some of us are sweet as candy. One interaction isn't going to make or break your life in this case. Apply (some of) the advice in this thread. Be confident. Be yourself. Don't worry about the outcome and just go for it.

Edit: removed pic due to batman's advice. He's the goddamn batman.

2012-08-04T04:59:47+00:00

Bullshit. I work with a caucasian girl who LOVES men of the asian persuasion. She's got the yellow fever hardcore. They're out there man, chin up.

superyay · 2012-08-03T14:29:42+00:00

As a fellow Asian bro I want to say hi.

I know most of these people are trying to help but they are giving you horrible advice. Move back to your ancestral country? DON'T DO THIS. I guarantee it will be way harder because of huge cultural differences. Stop acting so Asian? Is this kid fucking serious?

Here's my advice to you. Embrace your Asian culture. The reason there are so many stereotypes is due to lack of understanding. We're different, and that's great because you aren't just another white boy. Look around you, how many white people do you see? Too many. Know you are different and be unique, don't be a white boy wannabe...I use to be and it felt like I was just being super fake and it's a shitty feeling. Any negative regarding your race could easily be flipped. For example, "Asians are nerdy" you respond, "so? I'd rather be a rocket scientist and be the one to put people on mars then be another struggling shitty ass punk band in a saturated market. Besides I'll be getting paid way more too. " or something to that extent.

For a more anecdotal example, one time someone brought up the dreaded small penis stereotype. I laughed it off and said, " that's fine because I know how to get women to go crazy in bed. " Then I followed up with a (true) story where I almost got jumped by some guy who's girlfriend i used to fuck. I asked her what was up and she said she kept an little book of all her sex partners and she said I was top 5. Now that I think about it, I kind of wished he jumped me because I'm a trained martial artist and I would've fucked his shit up bad.

Being Asian is fucking awesome. Our food is way better, our chicks are hot as fuck, we actually have history and culture, we age extremely well, and we invented human fighting systems still in use today. Embrace that shit and use it as your shield. Be one with it instead of seeing it as some aspect that is different than yourself.

P.s. stop going for only white girls, they're gonna look like shit in 20 years, and a lot of them are overweight. There are plenty of banging Asian chicks, but the non broken ones tend to stay within the Asian community. The ones that go after only non asian dudes have serious self consciousness issues. Trust me, I dated one before.

P.p.s I don't have a small penis :)

Tylerkurden · 2012-08-03T13:49:21+00:00

What's Asian? Are you indian, japanese, korean? Cuz each one of those cultures comes with something you can embrace which other cultures won't have. I don't like going into racial discussions but I know girls that don't like caucasian 'westerners' and would rather be with someone from another culture (as long as they are comfortable about it). Tell me exactly where you are from and I can help a bit more i think

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-03T15:57:32+00:00

Don't let it stop you. I remember a few months ago, me and my buddy (both white) were at a bar. We see a super (white) hot girl and talk about who's gonna approach first.

We see she's near this small, not very handsome guy, and both say "Well, they're not together." They weren't touching or anything either, or even standing very close. And he was Asian, by the way.

Just as I'm getting out of my chair, she kisses the guy on the lips.

So you never know.

SpinMyRiki · 2012-08-03T16:36:05+00:00

can we please get more moderators to control this xenophobia? holy shit there are some dumb people here.

2012-08-03T17:34:00+00:00

Just try to realize how absurd your line of thinking is, the best PUA I've ever met was a 5'6" Asian guy with bad acne. He banged some of the hottest girls I've ever seen hours after meeting them, he got any number he wanted without fail, because of confidence.

ShamwowTseDung · 2012-08-03T18:33:47+00:00

Generally speaking, ____ matters when you allow it to.

Think about this: There will be people who like you as an Asian but don't like you because you're fat (hypothetically speaking). Are you going to whine about that?

OH, so you lost weight. Now people don't like you because you wear glasses.

Got contacts?

Now they don't like you because of this, then that, and then the third.

My point is, stop focusing on the reasons why someone may not like you - that's focusing on their perception of you, and not your perception of yourself. You could end up living a life in fear and conformity, to the thoughts of others around you, and sacrificing your own ideas (that you can contribute to the world, for all that is good) in order to please those who may not even like you at all. Is that a sensible way to go about living?

The GOOD thing about preferences is that: for everything you don't like that someone else DOES, that's one person you don't have to spend time dealing with- and time is a priceless resource.

Don't look at approaching women (or anyone) with the mind state of getting them to be pleased with you, but rather whether or not adding them into your life will benefit YOU. Sounds selfish, but only in general, and in the short term view of things.

That was the "why", now for the "how" I point to NotFeelingMyself.

"Date yourself", which just means find out who YOU are, what YOU like. You cannot confide in yourself if you don't know who that self is - what exactly would you be placing your confidence in?

At the end of the day, there are things you can change - and things you cannot.

Learn the difference, accept the difference (attempting to change that which cannot be changed will only result in despair, ALWAYS), take appropriate action and be happy.

sexwhore · 2012-08-03T18:39:57+00:00

just as a reminder, bruce lee oozed sex appeal.

2012-08-03T19:25:58+00:00

My whole college experience was just like this. I'm black, and at my alma mater, everything was "black guy this, black guy that", when really, the black guys that girls were after were the tatted, sagging, sideways cap type. That's not me at all. Thank you for posting this! I definitely need this kind of advice.

AltHypo · 2012-08-03T22:07:54+00:00

I think there is a duality of Asian male stereotypes. On one hand there is the beta/nerd stereotype, on the other there is the stylish/hip stereotype. I think you need to look for inspiration from the latter category which is a fun and very attractive persona.

TheRealDJ · 2012-08-03T23:05:07+00:00

There's tons of material you can use with this. I'm mexican american and I play up the spanish romantic figure. As asian you could totally use eastern spiritualism to seem like the wisest and most thought provoking man she's met in years.

FMDub · 2012-08-04T00:50:35+00:00

A few months ago, I was out with a small group of friends. One of them brought us to a birthday party at a bar where there was a bunch of people in their 30's and early 40's there that met up with our group. A bunch of the women were like former model types, all very attractive despite being a teensy bit older.

Among all of that older crowd, there was a short, squat, bald asian dude named Tony. Maaaan, this guy was a PLAYER. Within about a minute of meeting any girl, he had them laughing, touching him, and he could put his arm around any girl he wanted and lead them anywhere he wanted to go. His smile never left his face, and he held his chin just high enough that you knew that he was in control of himself. He would actually put his arm around a girl and get a little bit aggressive before they had a chance to reject him. I think he played it off like that's just how he was: a very touchy social person. Even the girls who rejected him still forgave him and were friendly with him throughout the night; he would get rejected and still be the coolest person there to the person who rejected him.

He ended up leaving with this gorgeous girl, mid-20's, very slender with perfect skin and wavy black hair... one that I was actually trying to talk to, but this guy master'd her away from me.

I like to think I learned something that night, and that was to never, ever doubt yourself in even the smallest of ways, and to never leave a woman with a bad impression of you. Both of which I'm still working on.

Anonymack · 2012-08-04T07:32:13+00:00

As a black guy with a preference for Asian girls, I feel the same way; "there's so many asian guys around, why the fuck would she want me anyways, asian girls don't like black guys".

I guess basically just take every girl as a case-by-case basis, some girls like X, some girls like Y, but most like Z.

VMikeL · 2012-08-03T16:09:51+00:00

I hate you. It's thinking like that which makes me think that you don't deserve anyone. I'm Asian too, and girls love talking to me. The difference is that you have defeated yourself before talking to them. Get over yourself, grow a dick, stop bringing people down.

masgrada · 2012-08-04T04:14:21+00:00

Most successful 'player' I know is Asian. You shut your mouth, change yourself and your game.

Brinjal · 2012-08-03T15:31:53+00:00

my good friend is asian (as am I) and he's a natural.

confidence, being interesting and having fun go a long way in any interaction.

i'm dealing with the same self-defeating attitude, but i know that it's irrational and non-constructive.

Suave92 · 2012-08-03T17:05:51+00:00

I'm just gonna throw this out there. I know this girl she is very good looking, hot body and whenever she see's and asian man she goes crazy for the guy! So don't put yourself down just because of that!

Duuduu · 2012-08-03T17:33:00+00:00

"What!" Is my first thought...for me, I feel like I'm working against the grade being half breed but mostly Black features, would never guess you'd feel that way being Asian at all. In both cases it is a head-game that we're playing with ourselves (I think) and we need to get over it asap.

my-brand-new-life · 2012-08-03T18:30:56+00:00

Work on your self esteem. It's all in your head. Change 'asian' by any other adjective you want to use. There's always a 'why would she want a (fat, too thin, bald, uninteresting, boring, etc.) guy in her life?

Think fucking Bruce Lee. He was asian and he was THE man. Find a role model. Do something unexpected. Get outside your comfort zone...

You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Then everything else follows (I envy you guys as most asian girls I know are super cute and sweet and they tend to prefer asian guys over us europeans).

2012-08-03T19:06:02+00:00

It's honestly not as big as a deal as you think it is. I used to have the exact same fears. Don't use ethnicity as an excuse to not talk to someone.

2012-08-03T19:09:51+00:00

I don't like my really unmanageable hair. I tend to get a haircut often now. I use to not care but I realized it was just to much by the time college came. I gel my hair now. I still hate looking at my hair in the mirror because I can't get it to look perfectly sometimes.

JadedArtsGrad · 2012-08-03T19:17:15+00:00

I have seen some gorgeous fucking girls dating asian guys this summer. I think the stigma has ended.

shortbuswizard · 2012-08-03T20:04:51+00:00

Look at kong from the simplepickup guys on youtube, he does better than his 2 friends. He's asian.

beastenator · 2012-08-03T20:08:52+00:00

This is very anecdotal, but here goes anyway.

Being a native dutch speaker (I'm Belgian), I have a semi-thick accent when speaking french. I can speak French fairly well and I understand nearly anything that is said to me in that language. I always hated my accent and it has made me avoid having to speak French.

That being said, last week I met this fun Walloon girl. We chatted a bit, did some friendly stuff, when suddenly she said: That accent is so adorable. With that simple sentence from her, any fear of having an accent disappeared instantly.

Morale of the story: It doesn't matter if you are different from a group, because of race, accent,... , you can still be attractive if you set your mind to it.

redditalias · 2012-08-03T20:09:24+00:00

You have to like being asian. A simple idea, but probably tough to do if you already hate it. Try to ignore negative stereotypes in your mind, find something you like about your culture and try to branch out from there, find an asian person as a role model.

My guess is that you have some image of what you think an asian person is, and that person embodies all the negative aspects of the culture, and that is who you are fixated on. Try to create a positive version as well.

When you start liking being asian, I think you won't care so much about the people that don't like you because of it.

thefran · 2012-08-03T20:20:27+00:00

The only time in history when asianwhite spam is absolutely relevant.

No, i mean seriously, YSK it pretty much literally exists only to answer your very question.

razometer · 2012-08-03T22:15:38+00:00

Instead as seeing your race as a negative attribute, try to visualize it as a positive thing. You say that there are so many other guys around and you're right. However, you being different is a good thing because girls are used to the other guys; they've been around them, and know what to expect from them. You are something new, like a shiny new thing that attracts attwntion by virtue of being different from the masses. Your race, accent, style, or any other differentiator is a good thing, see it as a positive thing, picture yourself as being awesome because of it, and go get'em!

xcalisallpowerful · 2012-08-03T22:49:54+00:00

I honestly feel the same as a black male. A lot of the advice given throughout this post has been really helpful to me though. I need to focus on improving my inner game.

ventdivin · 2012-08-03T22:54:27+00:00

I have a lot of (female) friends who are into asians, don't let your misconception influence your game.

frank2791 · 2012-08-03T23:10:00+00:00

I have plenty of female friends who would go asian. You usually don't see black and asian together but my black friend who dates primarily black guys finds asians attractive. That guy who played Lu Kang from Mortal Kombat? She'd fuck him in a second. Hot is hot. Doesn't matter the race. Sure some people only go for a certain race but there's always exceptions. just be confident and you'll be that exception.

BrickEater · 2012-08-03T23:36:59+00:00

I too am Asian and what I have found living in Canada is that I get extremes from "ya you're kinda cute" to "you're so fucking hot." it seems to me that the girl, at first, will either like Asian guys or right me off as not a suitable candidate. A little more convincing is needed for the latter but that's what this subreddit is for.

2012-08-03T23:44:22+00:00

I know lots of women that are natural (don't care either way) to asian or prefer asian men.

Attila_TheHipster · 2012-08-03T23:52:51+00:00

Don't mind me, just posting an Asian guy.

2012-08-04T00:00:28+00:00

asian people have always been cool as shit to me... very peaceful...but also can be funny, and fun to converse with from all my experiences... sorry I don't have good advice, I'd just say don't be down on yourself or race... like many have said here, work on your inner game...

yellowunit · 2012-08-04T00:03:05+00:00

This is so wack! I love the fact that I'm Asian. Sure, there's always so many guys around. But flip that to your advantage. If I'm in a bar full of white guys and I happen to be the only Asian around, I stick out, and I mean that in a good way.

The way I see it, whatever girl I approach has been hit on by everyone BUT the Asian, and she needs a change of scenery.

Don't ever feel inferior as an Asian male, we got Bruce Lee on our side, son! Embrace it and use it to your advantage. Plus, everyone loves a good Asian joke.

kid-vicious · 2012-08-04T00:10:23+00:00

If it's any consolation, I once had a chick ditch me at a club to leave with some Asian dude...

avonv · 2012-08-04T00:11:32+00:00

TheySeeMeComing · 2012-08-04T00:31:13+00:00

i used to think no white girls like beaners. yet i still get hit on by predominantly white girls. Its all in your head.

HammerheadLincoln · 2012-08-04T00:31:22+00:00

One of my best friends loves Asian guys.

Just saiyan.

expreshion · 2012-08-04T01:21:07+00:00

Be one of those cool Asian bros that everyone loves.

voodoopredatordrones · 2012-08-04T01:52:53+00:00

Embrace your diversity and your culture. Don't be one of millions trying to be 'white' but rather an exotic alternative.

on a personal note, it saddens me to see people become ashamed of their skin. A lot of us go through it and it's a sickening discomfort when your uncomfortable and/or struggling to fit with new social groups. Embracing that you stand out, rather then forcing yourself to fit in should make you appear confident, unique and (hopefully) interesting

fragglemook · 2012-08-04T02:06:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-08-04T02:31:36+00:00

Quick, get the Asian White Pictures troll spammer to this thread immediately! THIS GUY NEEDS CONFIDENCE

poorchris · 2012-08-04T03:32:41+00:00

You're Asian so you're not allowed to feel inferior, you get to be Bruce Lee!

A few comments have already answered your question beautifully so forgive my comic relief.

2012-08-04T03:38:53+00:00

are you ugly? are you a nerd? these things aren't race based, but personality-based. lots of hot asian guys are out there, they just aren't plagued by thoughts like this.

one thing that is really annoying though, is when an asian guys blames his race for his failings. "oh buttsexjones, you just like white guys. you don't LIKE your own kind." no jackass, i just don't like YOU

edit: also people stop mentioning bruce lee goddamnit. i realize you guys are trying to pump his ego but there are a lot of hot asian men who aren't bruce lee. plus, mentioning bruce lee just perpetrates the asian-man-kung-fu-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiyahhhhhhhhhh stereotype

mikwow · 2012-08-04T03:56:15+00:00

Your mentality suck, and as a male Cambodian this is slightly insulting. I was born in Canada, French is my native language and never in my life I have felt different than everyone around me. I don't even remember a single time when I talked to a girl and thought "She sees me as ASIAN".

That's the beauty of the thing, if you don't feel different, nobody will see you as different. If you are talking to a girl and are thinking in your head "she thinks I have a small dick, she thinks I'm a nerd, god why am I Asian..." chances are nothing will happen with that girl.

To me, you're searching for excuses for your shortcomings regarding girls. Being Asian is awesome, if some girls don't like Asian males, so what? Some girls don't like short men, other don't like redheads and others don't like skinny men. Every girls have different tastes, find one who will not distrgard you because of your ethnicity.

tl dr: At the age of 16 I looked at myself in the mirror and, as funny as it seems, I realized for the first time that I was "different" than most people around me. Didn't give a shit.

fragglemook · 2012-08-04T04:15:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-08-04T04:39:15+00:00

this post is just screaming for those bots that throw out lots of pictures of asian men with blonde women

cmasfca · 2012-08-04T08:18:37+00:00

bruce lee bro, think of his confidence and how he alone became the biggest icon for asians today. I am no asian, but i understand what he stood for, himself. so try not to think of what the prospective girl is thinking about you, just express yourself, to truely express oneself.. ahh that my friend is difficult to do... " -bruce lee

fragglemook · 2012-08-04T09:12:52+00:00

Quit believing your own bullshit. You're subconsciously telling yourself this crap because you're protecting yourself from risk.

Some of my most physically attractive male friends are Asian and get no end of action. Women scan for behaviours not looks.

seedywonder · 2012-08-04T09:51:22+00:00

I've said it in this type of thread before and I will say it again here. On three separate occasions I have been having sex with a girl for the first time and they have said something along the lines of "I can't believe I'm fucking an Asian!". Its like they've just suddenly noticed somehow. They've been caught up in the fun and they haven't cared.

At the end of the day, women aren't some kind of angelic form to be idolised. Most don't give a shit about your race. Seriously. THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT. So stop letting it be relevant in your life, and in the majority of situations it will stop being relevant. The same way you don't think you're as muscular as the next guy, not relevant. Don't have amazing hair? Not relevant. Not as rich? Not relevant.

Carry on and know that you are awesome, cos if don't think you're awesome, no one else will.

ComeFromTheWater · 2012-08-03T12:41:59+00:00

I try to stay positive and keep an attitude of "she's lucky to be around me" combined with as they say in my country "der kommer altid en sporvogn og en pige til" (Something along the lines of: "there is always another tram and another girl". We haven't got trams anymore, but there are still plenty of girls).

You could maybe imagine yourself as Bruce Lee: http://silverliningopticians.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/tumblr_kwke67LsMY1qz7xhzo1_500.jpg ?

freybeard · 2012-08-03T15:54:55+00:00

Im asian if that helps...listen it's great you are asian..but really ask yourself this question, what can you do about it? Can you change being asian? Bleach your skin like michael jackson? No. So ask yourself this honest question. What can you do about this? My suggestion is be awesome. Look at celebrities especially atheletes. Damn some of those people look like shit. Some people look so asian they look like their eyes are closed. Some atheletes look so black you can't see anything. Some are so pale they reflect the sun. But in the end they still get the hot girls. The reason is they IMPROVE themselves. They work hard on themselves. They work out day in and day out to be the best in their field. And you know what?? Hot girls think it's more attractive than looks and will overlook even the color of their skin. So look at yourself really hard. Can you change being asian? No. But can you do something to increase your value? Yes. Be the best at something ane i guarantee you u will get laid. Good luck my asian bro

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-08-03T16:20:11+00:00

I wish I was asian so I could pick up more asian chicks. A lot of asian chicks won't date outside their race.

holst09 · 2012-08-03T18:03:16+00:00

One of my fraternity brothers is asian. Hes got long-black fabio hair down to his shoulders, and that kid gets more pussy (totally hot girls) than many people I know

2012-08-04T00:03:50+00:00

Haha come on man fucked up. Stop watching tv.

elai · 2012-08-03T23:23:04+00:00

Motherfucking Bruce Lee

Enough said.

malcolmthetenth · 2012-08-03T23:29:44+00:00

In the blueprint decoded, tyler directly mentions this, some thing like "a lot of guys we teach have these self hating stereotypes, like Indian and Asian", so check that shit out

abadgaem · 2012-08-04T04:15:26+00:00

Think about it this way: If you believe you're at an objective disadvantage for being Asian, then the bar is set low from the start, giving you more cred for breaking stereotypes and being cool.

sorgenvind · 2012-08-03T14:51:48+00:00

Date asian girls. End of problem.

The vast majority of asian women like asian men. If you're having trouble with women of other races, date within your own race.

avonv · 2012-08-03T12:35:24+00:00

inb4 all the dr. phil "believe in yourself, love yourself" bs advice

i know i am going to get downvoted for this but i do not care. you are 100 % right that you are at the "bottom of the totem pole" so to speak. be it through physical appearance, mainstream media's perception, the fact that you people all look alike (partial joke but partially being serious), the fact that china/korea/japan/etc are not considered to be "sexy" cultures ... i mean, there is a long list and i could go on.

now, step one is accepting the reality and not being in denial, and it sounds like you are already there. kudos to you for that... step two is really looking at yourself, thinking what you want to be, then becoming that person. MUCH easier said than done.

if you hate the asian-ness in you, STOP ACTING SO ASIAN then. if you are scrawny and thin, WORK OUT. and so forth

i have so many asian friends, and some are probably a lot like you, and others are the polar opposite of asian stereotypes. it is about becoming who you want to be, then you will have the confidence and not give a fuck and ultimately be able to come to terms with who you really are.

Emberglo · 2012-08-03T18:38:02+00:00

All of my (white) female friends like asian guys better than white guys. It really just depends on the girls.

1Ender · 2012-08-03T15:56:21+00:00

Bruce...motherfucking... Lee.

/thread.

superyay · 2012-08-03T12:41:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-08-03T20:26:14+00:00

Dude bitches love Asians they just hide the fact by hating and bitching cause their scared of that yellow fever but that's where you come in, use that white lotus kung fu style and it'll be waterworld with your females forevermore sun

butterflyhugs · 2012-08-06T22:33:35+00:00

I'm a hot white female and I fucking love asian guys. Especially the fresh off the boat types. You have nothing to worry about. It's all about confidence. You could be an elf but if you have confidence and a great personality, girls will always find you attractive. Just embrace who you are and be an awesome person. Simple as that.

asad16 · 2012-08-03T15:49:26+00:00

get over yourself

SemajSemajSemaj · 2012-08-03T16:57:16+00:00

XD5 Shut the fuck up! Everybody loves asians, EVEYBODY :)!

Deathmelody · 2012-08-03T18:29:14+00:00

Learn to be funny. (Chicks love funny people. If you can make a girl laugh, 80% of the work is done)
Use sexual innuendo's a lot (If a girl says she went to Italy, bring up how you heard that Italian girls and Europeans are promiscuous and hot. Talking about sex stuff is 5%)
Be polite but confident (having some self respect and confidence in yourself goes a long ways in showing to people (not only girls) that you know what you want and like. This is an overall attractive trait for either guy or girl IMO. Look in the mirror and say that there is only one of you in this world, unless you have a twin lol. 10%)
Take care of your appearance. (dress nicely and have good hygiene 5%)

That's my take.

P.S. I'm Asian too but I never thought anybody being better than me. Asians aren't inferior at all. (look at the Olympics, Asians are always battling it out for the top 10 medal counts). I would say that Asians have a lot to be proud of because we are also the richest on average Americans in the United States as well as the most educated. Just have some more confidence in your self and your abilities and you will be fine.

Title	Can't get over my race
Author	XD5
Upvotes	180
Comments	259
Date	August 3, 2012 12:04 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xm6q7/cant_get_over_my_race/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-get-over-my-race.1336707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336707

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