Whats the true minimum?

leosandlattes · 2025-04-02T21:19:07+00:00

Height:
5'5"-5'10"

Fitness level:
Enough to go hiking and camping with me because I like doing that.

Income:
Must be educated, income depends. Like I'd date some PhD student earning $35k on a stipend. His profession should be respectable in some way. If I had to put a hard limit on it, like $70k. And that figure is so incredibly low compared to the men in my dating pool.

Male Hobbies:
Like what? Video games? I don't care, I play video games. Don't care about the rest of his hobbies.

Dates:
Something personalized and thoughtful; I don't care about price. Frequency maybe about once a month for planned dates. I like hanging out frequently though, like multiple times a week at home.

Entertainment Value:
Makes me laugh daily.

Political Compatibility:
No MAGA freaks or tankies. Someone in the moderate area of the spectrum. Western or westernized if from an immigrant family.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-04-02T21:25:29+00:00

One thing that I think gets confusing for men is that even if ALL of a woman’s “standards” are technically met, it doesn’t mean that anything will happen. There’s an X factor that is impossible to define that needs to be there that indicates that being with someone is a real net improvement over not being with them.

In other words, it doesn’t work like some kind of dating bingo card.

AngeAware · 2025-04-02T18:08:42+00:00

Minimum height.

I would generally say "taller than me" (I'm 5'3) but then I also met an exception to that so maybe the answer is "literally whatever"

Minimum fintness level.

Long walks without getting winded

Minimum income.

I don't care. In fact I think the most attractive professions men can have are underpaid. Education is a lot more important to me.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies.

Is this a euphemism for anime, gaming, etc.? It's fine and even ideal as long as he lives a functional adult life and can enjoy those things in healthy moderation, like I do.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency).

Anything that involves going out, being together and talking, or being together and watching something, about twice a week. With daily hours long phone calls in between.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be)

Trust me as long as we share interests he can't be boring to me

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla)

This is a huge and highly specific one for me. Religious left-leaning moderate.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-04-02T23:04:19+00:00

there is no planet on which i think like this. the "minimum" is I met him, we had sex, it was amazing and we kept hanging out. this info attempt will not help you appeal to a woman who wants to be with you
you are all neurotic overthinkers. stop asking women to quantify things for you, none of it matters when they meet someone they're hot for, its all words

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-04-02T21:13:08+00:00

Minimum height.

5'5", not a hard limit

Minimum fintness level.

Very strong, good cardiovascular health. I'm pretty flexible on BMI because the body types I like the most tend to be overweight/obese (lumberjack types)

Minimum income.

Eh, median for my city (~$45k) but possibly less if earlier in career/going to school/doing something noble

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies.

I don't care about this as long as the hobbies don't interfere with the relationship or executive functioning

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency).

At least alternate planning. I go Dutch. I don't really think about frequency? I guess in the early stages of dating at least once every couple weeks as long as there's communication in the interim

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be)

I don't do boring unfunny guys ever, I'm not a boring unfunny woman. The guys I like are interesting, funny, and charismatic

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla)

He can drive a Tesla depending on the conditions of acquisition. If he bought it before Musk was clearly psycho or it was a hand-me-down I don't care (say, pre-"everyone needs to have children" rhetoric)

Politically I don't date conservatives/Republicans. He can still agree with them on some issues, as even I do, but I wouldn't date someone who votes Republican or identifies as a conservative

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-04-03T05:21:58+00:00

Taller than me, so 5ft 9 and up

No minimum income but has to have ambition

Hobbies are not an issue, but I’d have an issue if they always come before our relationship.

I don’t like fancy dates to start with, it’s too much pressure. I also like to plan, my husband and I plan stuff together.

Has to be funny, life can be shit at times and you have to be able to laugh together.

I’m not too hung up on politics, but in the uk we seem to not shout about who we vote for the way the us seem to.

I wasn’t looking for anything serious when I met my husband but it was just so easy hanging out together, no games. He really is one of my best friends. I’m one of those sad people who would rather be with him 90% of the time than anyone else.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-04-03T07:44:33+00:00

Minimum height: 5’3 because I’m 5’1. He has to be taller than me.

Minimum fitness level: I don’t really care that much as long as he isn’t morbidly obese or on the other end of the spectrum, a gym nut. I don’t want some roided up dude who’s obsessed with calories.

Minimum income: $40,000 a year

Minimum amount of unappealing male hobbies: I’m not sure how to answer this one. Hobbies that I dislike in a partner are hiking and an obsession with video games. If they can’t keep those to a minimum, that would be great.

Minimum requirements for a date: We would have to hang out more than just once a week. At least 3 times a week for it to be considered a relationship and they would have to plan some of our outings. I of course would plan some as well. Also must be down for spontaneous hangouts. That shows me that they like to be around me, even at random times. As far as price, I care less about that than effort. Like I don’t need to go to some 5 star restaurant, but I also don’t want our dinner dates to be at a fast food place all of the time either. I also like it if our dates involve them showing me some something new or reflect that they have listened to my likes and dislikes.

Minimum entertainment value: I have dated some boring guys, so this is pretty important lol. They need to have the ability to actively engage in conversation. Nothing is worse than spending hours with a man who barely ever has anything to say or gives you short, uninteresting answers. It feels like your words don’t matter and you’re talking to a brick wall. They have to at least be able to keep up conversations, even if it’s not about a topic that they’re interested in. I do it all of the time. As far as humor goes, it is a must that they know how to laugh and not take things too seriously. I tell a lot of dark and offensive jokes, I need someone who gets it lol. They also have to know how to have a good time, like drinking, dancing, staying out late, mingling with others, etc. I don’t want someone who wants to stay inside every weekend.

Political compatibility: Absolutely cannot be MAGA. I refuse to date a Trump supporter. They can drive a Tesla but I wont be caught dead in a cybertruck lol. They must be pro-LGBTQUIA+, pro abortion, pro immigrant rights (including undocumented immigrants), and have a healthy distrust of the government. Those are nonnegotiables. I don’t want to settle down and have kids with someone who I fundamentally disagree with. On the flip side, I also don’t want someone who is an SJW because, like I said, I tell super dark jokes and I can’t date someone who is easily offended. I guess they just have to be a normal empathetic human being to me.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-04-02T18:38:20+00:00

I am my minimum standard for most things. I don't care about height (except to the point of physical health issues or things being very difficult to work around, like too tall that he can't fit in my car). Otherwise, I am able to financially support myself, so I would like that from him, I am generally fit and generally care about my health and would like the same from him, I respect his bodily autonomy and wish to not harm other people if I can help it, and would like the same from him, etc. I don't care about his hobbies as long as we have a few in common to share. I have mental health issues, but can handle mine so they are not a nonconsensual burden on others, and would like that from him.

The only part where I am not my own standard, is that if we want kids, I would be carrying and birthing them, and preferably be breastfeeding, so we will need to rely more on his income there. But that's just if we want kids.

Tylikcat · 2025-04-02T22:40:52+00:00

Minimum height. Don't have one. But guys who aren't comfortable with their height and act badly towards me because of it (for instance, making a show about how he's really in charge of the relationship - for the same reason that isn't okay from anyone else) aren't welcome. Nor is complaining about my height. (I'm 5'11". I love my height. But putting my body down, also not welcome.)

Minimum fitness level. I want them to have energy to do the things we do together, and to manage their own stuff (work, housework, etc.) People who aren't habitually active are frequently lethargic, which is a definite minus. Complaining about the time I spend doing active stuff isn't welcome. I like hiking, practicing martial arts, going dancing (though I haven't done it much this last bit - usually I want to get to bed earlier.) It's going to help if they share some of these.

Minimum income. I want them not to be a financial disaster. So, having reasonable and reliable income for their lifestyle. Savings. Planning for retirement (yo, I'm in my fifties, anyone old enough to date me should at least be thinking about retirement.)

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies. This depends on the structure of the relationship. If we're not living together - and I am not super eager to live together - there's a lot more room. No permanently taking over the sofa with the gaming stuff. Mostly don't play video games where I can hear them. ...and really, that's how it generally works. Don't take over the spaces with your stuff, or take over the house with your noise. (This doesn't mean "don't do these things in public places", more "clean up after yourself and wear headphones".) Don't get your ego invested in me being worse that you at male coded stuff, because it will frequently not be true.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency). Whether we live together or not, it's nice to sometimes go out? Split the check at first, then maybe alternate if that's easier. I'm not big on either television or movies, though they can be fun as a social thing in smaller quantities. ("If you're dating me you must join my fandoms!" is unlikely to work with me. Neither is some kind of high pressure spend so many nights a week watching TV with you thing.) Talking, hiking, working on mutual projects would probably make the most sense for me? Maybe hitting the occasional club or show.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be) Intellectual compatibility is a must. This can probably be approximated by being within one standard deviation of me by IQ, but IQ as a measurement is pretty fucking flawed - and this is descriptive, rather than prescriptive. (I don't go around asking people about their IQ, but this is true of the people whom I connected with.) In practice, the standard is "vaguely keep up, be interesting, and have stuff going on in your own life." (And hey, I've vaguely aware that there are some extremely boring and annoying individuals in mensa? But then, their threshold is pretty low.)

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla) If your political opinions say that I shouldn't be living the life that I'm living, you're done. If you think men, or white people, or christians, should naturally be in charge, GTFO. If you think there is something deeply wrong with queer/trans folks, it's never going to work. Actual science should win vs. some random talkshow / podcast host's opinions. And yes, if you make a bunch of claims, I am likely to hand you a stack of links to primary sources refuting them. And if you try to shout me down instead of reasoning I will employ increasing amounts of sarcasm. Don't be a Nazi.

I'm open for a lot of discussion, as long as it is well reasoned and supported by evidence. But this excludes most of what passes for a political right in the US.

CatchPhraze · 2025-04-02T23:46:31+00:00

Minimum height, my shortest ex was 5'7. At 5'0 I'm definitely ok with that. I might even go 5'6 but I know shorter then that men tend to have a complex so 5'7 is safe.

Minimum fintness level chubby is ok, cute even, but must be able to hike, camp, stand or walk all day.

Minimum income if in education, $0. If not about $35-40k a year.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies, I love video and table top games, so awesome. I tolerate anime ok, my fiancee is into f1 and I'll get up early to watch with him while I knit so I'm pretty ok with anything. Except Gooner shit. No hentai/instathot doom scrolling.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency) once a month minimum, $0.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be) has to be funny and silly. Non negotiable.

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Mandatory.

Is he allowed to drive a tesla? My SO sold his right before this shit because he was embarrassed at Musk beefing with Disney over removing ads from Twitter when he unbaned the crazies. So I picked a winner.

petellapain · 2025-04-02T18:24:56+00:00

I think being desired is very big part of womens sexual experience. I don't know any woman that would enjoy sex with a man who didn't desire her physically. If they did, you would see a lot more women paying for sex.

The minimum for me is full head of hair, over 5'5, not over pr underweight and a face a want to kiss.

As for personality, he just has to not be a dick.

SnooCats37 · 2025-04-02T19:01:04+00:00

As a woman who is under 5ft, the vast majority of men are taller than me so I’ve never even considered height an issue.

I’ve never asked a guy what their fitness level is, I’m more bothered about are they healthy? I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is going to have one after another weight related illnesses or diet related illnesses because they aren’t looking after themselves on a basic level. Like my husband loves pizza and probably left to his own devices he would eat it for every meal without getting sick of it, but he still eats a balanced ish diet.

I did ask my husband how often and how long does he game for when he does because my ex had been addicted to games. It was more of as long as you aren’t addicted to gaming and spending money you don’t have on them, I’m not bothered. I don’t like football but my husband loves it and plays it, it’s not forced on me and his hobbies have nothing to do with me, whatever he enjoys.

I’m pretty low maintenance to be honest, I’m happy with a film at home and a couple of drinks. When me and my hubby go out it’s usually for a meal or a couple of drinks at the pub. When we were dating, I think we only went on one or two “official dates”, one was to the cinema, we went halves. Rest of the time, he came round to mine, we cooked together, watched films and chatted.

I think my husband is funny, he might not be everyone’s cup of tea but he makes me laugh. He’s predictable and I like that but he surprises me from time to time which is lovely too.

I wasn’t particularly interested in politics when we first got together when I was in my early 20’s. I think my bare minimum back then was I didn’t want to be with a racist or misogynist.

I don’t “vet” people. We either get on or we don’t.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-04-02T19:21:48+00:00

Make me FEEL the spark. That's all. If he can make me FEEL it I will "break my own rules" and compromise on almost anything.

But I don't know HOW create that spark.

In terms on paper the bare minimum I wouldn't be able to compromise on are children, I'm childfree and doing that to my body is a line I won't cross no matter what. Plus romance ends with children anyway so it wouldn't be worth it at the end. I'm willing to move for him even if it means worse job. But I'm not able to pretend and act like an obedient servant housewife, I require equality, I can provide for him. Other than that just make me FEEL the spark and we can compromise and sort out any issues, all we need is love.

I really can't tell because the real key factor is the spark and I can't define that, it's intangible X factor.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-04-02T19:12:51+00:00

When I'm dating, I'm not creating a list of stats like I'm trying to optimize my build for a raid. Am I physically attracted to this person? Am I attracted to them as a person? Do we have shared views, values and interests? If yes, then I'd date them. If no, pass. I've dated people who were my height, shorter than me, and taller than me. I've dated people who were fit, some who were skinny, some who had a couple of extra pounds. I've dated people with some differing views from mine, and it turned out that it wasn't a good match, so I started gravitating to people who were, more or less, on the exact same page as me.

StrugglingSoprano · 2025-04-02T21:38:59+00:00

Height: (5’5 -6’5)

Fitness level: not overweight

Minimum income: I’m a student so I can’t be picky when I don’t make any money either

Unappealing male hobbies: depends on what you mean by unappealing

Date requirements: I really don’t care as long as he’s making some effort

Entertainment value: being funny and interesting is a must, I need someone who can match my energy

Political compatibility: no Trump fans

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2025-04-02T21:29:41+00:00

Minimum height? I used to say like 5’7 but my current crush is maybe 5’4-5’5 so I can make exceptions. I’m 5’3. Minimum fitness level? Strong enough to pick me up (110 lbs), not fat. Muscles preferred but not necessary. Minimum income? Not homeless Maximum unappealing hobbies? Don’t care Minimum requirements for a date? None but we can’t stay home all the time Minimum entertainment value? They have to be interesting TO ME, have enough similar interests and like to have long conversations. Minimum political compatibility? No extreme right wing views, can be fiscally conservative but at least moderate socially. Must be pro choice.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-04-02T22:30:14+00:00

For a relationship? The bare minimum is extremely high. Minimum height 5’8 (my height), not fat, income doesn’t matter at all, just be employed and have some kind of ambition, not doing video games more than an hour a day, no minimum requirements for a date—I’ll pay if you want lol—just get me back every once in a while, I don’t want fast food but that’s it.

In addition, can’t be conservative or moderate. Must be a progressive (this goes for hookups too btw), must have good hygiene, must share most or all of my values, must be fucking rocking at sex (not immediately but eventually), must have amazing conversation chemistry with me.

petellapain · 2025-04-02T23:04:03+00:00

I don't care about height or income or fitness. If you work out that makes me LESS able to judge whether you habe good body build, so i don't care for it. Someone who fusses about calories also seems miserable to live alongside. I don't care about "unappealing hobbies", whatever thise are supposed to be, either, as long as they're not morally apprehensive. I notice i barely care about any of the things you listed, so I'll give you my own list

Some form of intellectual education, I'm talking physics, mathematics, philosophy etc. Not stupid shit like economics.
Intellectual honesty and willingness to engage in discussion about any topic. Anyone who uses "it's not that deep", "can't we just agree to disagree" is an immediate no.
Normal physical ability. I don't care how your body looks doing it, but you should be able to go hiking, bouldering, maybe run a couple of miles.
Has to be good with kids and willing to take care of them. Like a lot.

This is just the bare minimum for me to consider someone if he approached me. For me to approach someone, he'd obviously have to be really impressive either through looks or through actions, but you can't really generalise that. (EDIT: There's also stuff like basic hygene, not being a fucking arrogant dick, but I hope I don't have to spell these out for you)

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-04-03T00:11:28+00:00

Minimum height - 5’9”

Minimum fintness level - able to hike, kayak, canoe without thinking he’s going to have a heart attack

Minimum income - don’t really care

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies - i don’t know what that means. What’s an unappealing male hobby?

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency). - Coffee and a scone works for me

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be) - good sense of humour, good conversationalist, enjoys simple things like camping, board and video games, listening to music by the firepit

minimum political compatibility - centrist

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-04-03T01:59:07+00:00

5’10+, facially attractive, and very physically fit. Devout Christian that believes sex only belongs in a marriage and has a Christ focused life. Center on politics or more progressive. Has to want several children and love chihuahuas. NO BIGOTRY!!! I have to enjoy his company, not the activity. He has to have a great relationship with his family and they can’t be crazy. No drugs or smoking.

EulenWatcher · 2025-04-03T02:41:46+00:00

Okay, I'll play along, but you should recognize that even hitting all the points wouldn't necessarily lead to a relationship. It's about the right time and place as well as actually feeling chemistry which isn't given.

My height (5'2) or higher.
Healthy weight or slightly overweight, but overall good enough health to go hiking, cycling etc.
Average income for our place of living or making less, but taking steps to improve.
I'm fine with gaming a few evenings in a week if he has time for that and still spends some quality time with me (so when we have kids, I'd expect him to heavily reduce his gaming to actually do parenting), gym, spending time and money on a car if it's affordable for our budget...what are other typically male hobbies? I wouldn't date a hunter though.
I'd expect a fancier date on my birthday and on our anniversary (we can plan them in turns). Going on a date once 2-3 weeks, and spending quality time together on the weekend. Parks, picnics, not very expensive cafes. I want my partner to plan at least 30% of our dates, but I'm okay with planning more than half. I'd want to visit a new place or try something new at least once 2 months. Going Dutch or paying in turns is perfectly fine with me.
I should enjoy his company. I don't need him to be a jester, but he should be able to keep conversation going and have at least somewhat relatable sense of humor that isn't wholly built on jokes about poop or sex. He should be fairly smart and educated.
Beliefs compatible to mine (pro-choice, liberal, egalitarian, feminist, pro-LGBTQ, agnostic raised in Buddhism, environmentally-conscious). I'd be okay with him not being an activist or being interested in these things, but no right-wing men, no pro-life or anything else completely contradictory.

False-Purple3882 · 2025-04-03T05:53:58+00:00

Women don’t conceptualize and categorize our attraction to others in this manner.

ohdiddly · 2025-04-03T10:13:51+00:00

Height:
idk like 5 foot? don't really care

Fitness level:
fitter than me, I need someone strong to open up jars for me

Income:
don't care I have money. he could be unemployed as long as he's a hot stay at home dad

Unappealing Male Hobbies:
don't care it's his hobbies, they don't have to be appealing to me

Dates:
don't care about planning or price, I tend to prefer unplanned spontaneous stuff when we feel like doing it like once a week

Entertainment Value:
needs to make me laugh, I'm pretty laid back and easily entertained so don't need anything CRAZY

Political Compatibility:
ring wing, religious, or anti-vaxx is an instant dealbreaker

Avendora623 · 2025-04-03T10:24:24+00:00

I don't mind between 5'5-6'2 I'm 5'11 for reference though give or take a couple inches in each direction, because it's not really a noticeable difference for me. Chubby guys are cuuute, but I have a thing for forearms, so those have to look nice. Guys who go to the gym a lot tend to have certain habits and personalities I don't really click with. But I want him to at least take care of himself. I love glasses, and bald men with beards(very much). Nice teeth. Dental hygiene is a must. I love outdoor stuff like camping and fishing, while having a couple drinks. But my main hobby is gaming. If he's not playing seamless coop Elden Ring with me, he's not the one. Similar sense of humor, values and morals, I believe you can have some differing opinions as long as you aren't radical, but not many, and not on extreme subjects. Education is a must, but I don't really care about higher education, but will support you if you want it. Also I want him to compliment me all the time. And I'll do the same to him. Kisses, forehead kisses, all the kisses. And I like sex a lot so he's gotta match my energy. Cuddling and touching is also a must. As far as money goes, I just want us to make enough together where we're not struggling. Going on dates a couple times a month is nice. And we can always just alternate who pays. Or whoever has the means at the time. Though if we were a committed couple we pool the money anyway. A relaxed life with a few nice things and some happy memories is what I want.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-04-03T12:03:29+00:00

Thing Is I don't really have minimums I just tend to go for taller guys in general lol.

If I had to say I'd say 5'10. Max 6ft 2

Prefer fitter guys as well and I don't mind chubby as long as theyre fit. I do prefer less fat though.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-04-03T16:57:20+00:00

Minimum height. 5'7 - 5'11

Minimum fintness level. Must go to the gym and eat moderately healthy. Can't be obese.

Minimum income. 50k

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies. Video games a few times a week is fine. No anime or porn addicts need apply.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency). Must include food at some point doesn't have to be expensive. Once a relationship is established once or twice a month is good.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be) Needs to make me laugh and talk a lot. I dislike quiet people.

minimum political compatibility Cannot be a MAGA republican

Werevulvi · 2025-04-03T18:06:15+00:00

Minimum height: I dunno 4-something feet. Just don't have dwarfism, basically. (I'm 5'6 fyi.)

Minimum fitness level: couch potato of or near healthy weight. Like I'm not gonna fight over a few pounds over- or underweight, but I draw the line at fat or skeletal. And sure muscles are nice, but I don't actually need a guy to have any. (I'm slightly overweight but working on losing it, and I have a bit more muscle than the average woman.)

Minimum income: around 10k a year. This is roughly my annual income. I don't care a lot about money, just don't wanna end up in an even worse financial situation than I'm already in. So I'd need for him to earn at least roughly the same amount as me.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies: infinite, as long as we have at least just one hobby or interest in common, and as long as I don't have to always tag along with his boring hobbies (I don't expect him to like all my hobbies either.)

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency): it can be entirely for free for all I care, a walk in a nice park/garden, visiting a beach, etc, or just very low cost like going out for a coffee, or go bowling. Dates don't have to be super often, but at least just for special occasions like birthdays, anniversary, etc. Obviously dates have to be kinda frequent in the beginning phases though, to get to know each other.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be): I do kinda want a guy with a good sense of humor. I don't wanna date someone I find boring. So I guess this is the one thing I have high standards about. Although my own sense of humor is kinda rough, dark and lewd, so I don't typically have a hard time finding men with what I'd consider a good sense of humor.

Minimum political compatibility (how many things is he allowed to disagree on): maybe half, or a bit more. I'm centrist so honestly kinda hard for me to find anyone I don't agree with to around 50% of my views. As long as he's not an extremist on either end of the political horse shoe, I'm sure we'll have enough views in common.

PhasmaUrbomach · 2025-04-02T18:18:52+00:00

Minimum height: Over 5'0, which is my height

Minimum fintness level: Should have a visible waist.

Minimum income: I don't care as long as he can meet his own needs.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies: I don't know what these are. Gaming? My husband games. It's not an issue.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency): Quality time spent together. I need to feel like he enjoys hanging out with me.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be): I care about how kind he is, how engaged he is in talking to me, having a similar sense of humor, not very snarky or sarcastic.

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla): No Trumpers or Musk lovers.

justdontsashay · 2025-04-02T18:24:23+00:00

I’ll play along, if you understand that this is not a “check these boxes and you earn sex” thing.

So my personal minimums:

Height - taller than me. I’m 5’0

Fitness level - fit enough to have energy and no major weight/fitness-related health issues. I don’t at all mind a dad bod or bigger guy, though, as long as he’s relatively healthy

Income - enough to afford his own lifestyle. This varies wildly depending on where you live and how responsible you are with money, so I don’t have a number for this

Political compatibility - this one is entirely dependent on the topic. Human rights and equality, zero differences are ok for me. Foreign policy and allocation of taxes, sure let’s debate about it and then have sex lol

Dates - there’s not a price minimum, I’ll go for a hike and pack a lunch or something. Frequency depends entirely on what stage of the relationship. I would want him to plan at least half the time, but minimum planning maybe 30-40%?

Entertainment value - there’s no way to quantify this. Either I enjoy being with him or I don’t, so I guess minimum is entertaining enough that I enjoy his company

petellapain · 2025-04-02T18:38:57+00:00

Edit: I forgot to mention that I've answered your spesific questions, but this list does not encompass my standards. There's a lot that this list doesn't touch on. Without further ado:

Minimum height: Around mine or taller. I'm 173cm, which isn't that tall in my country.

Minimum fintness level: Can join me hiking.

Minimum income: Needs to be able to support himself.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies: There's not a number, but there are hobbies I don't vibe with, such as gun collecting, excessive gaming etc.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency): My favourite first dates are going for a walk or grabbing a coffee. Something where we can talk.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be): Similar to me. I enjoy banter, dark humour, travel, concerts, trying new things, but I also like to host a cozy dinner party or to cuddle while watching a film.

Minimum political compatibility (how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla): He needs to be on the left. There are issues I don't mind disagreeing on, like nuclear energy, how to best best organise fair taxation. Then there are things I won't accept like xenophobia or sexism etc. If he already had a tesla, that's fine. If he wants to buy one now, nope.

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-04-02T19:17:14+00:00

I want individual answers and am not attempting to call on one woman to speak for many.

Reading that made my shoulders relax...for a moment at least.

Minimum height: I don't give a fuck. I'm 5'7 and I love wearing heels, but I don't think I'd date a guy below 5'6. Otherwise, the only criteria for height is being secure enough to not throw a fit if I'm taller than them in heels.

Minimum fitness level: Not obese. Normal/healthy amount of body fat. Strong but not necessarily super huge- gym rat isn't necessary. Like I said in another comment, I don't like arms that look like veiny dicks.

Minimum income: Makes around the same amount that I do. I'm graduating in a couple months so right now that's 0 lol. However, I don't see myself getting into a relationship until I'm employed, so I'll just say that the min is roughly 100k.

Hobbies: Not wanting me to go to baseball games, and not needing me to watch and actually pay attention to an entire sports game. I don't like fishing, I can do it for an hour or two, but I'm not going on a boat for 6 hours to fish (and I won't touch the fish either, they creep me out lol). I really don't think I could dress up as a wizard and play D&D. According to Gemini, birdwatching is a male hobby?- I realistically couldn't do that for more than an hour or two either. Also, can't date a guy who would rather play COD than fuck me...

Dates: Dates can be any cost, I just want someone who puts thought into it. I wouldn't date someone who's super cheap either, so there has to be a balance. And minimum frequency is probably 3 times a month (actually going out somewhere).

Entertainment: Above average intelligence, I don't need to date a genius, but I can't date someone who can't ever contribute anything to in-depth conversations. Although IQ is a very flawed measure of intelligence, for the sake of specificity, I'd say at least 1 standard deviation above the mean (not a rigid rule, just a rough estimate. I'm not going to hand anyone an IQ test lol). I like talking about very random shit, so I couldn't date someone who finds that annoying. Generally needs to match my freak, and be genuinely passionate about at least 1 thing.

Politics: I loathe the 2 party system, so as long as they're not far right or far left, I'm good. I can't date a political (or religious) extremist. I don't think I could date someone who actually likes Trump, but I feel like that's already covered by the political extremist comment. I drive a Tesla lol, so yeah, they can too (I got it a year ago don't hang me). When it comes to politics, I just want someone who thinks for themselves, and is capable of having a respectful conversation with someone who disagrees with them.

Hope this didn't sound too blunt or obnoxious, just trying to make it sperg-friendly, as requested.

kmb218 · 2025-04-02T19:49:32+00:00

Minimum height: 180 cm (5´11”)

Minimum fitness level: Is able to do normal daily activities and sports with me (hiking, roller blading, cycling, skiing…)

Minimum income: None (I am a student and mostly date other students - many of them don’t work). In the future, no less than 70% of my income.

Date requirements: Does date mean hanging out in general? If yes, I would say 2-4 times per week. No specific price. Activities: coffee, chill at the park, cook together, do sports together, cinema, restaurant, study together, party, bar…

Minimum entertainment value: I should enjoy hanging out with him.

Minimum political compatibility: No extreme crazy opinions (nazi, pro-slavery, fascist…). Pro-choice, feminist (believes in equal rights, doesn’t look down on women / feminine things, but can have criticisms of some aspects of feminism). Should not be an activist / very enganged in politics. Should be open to discuss / debate politics together, without taking it personally, getting angry etc)

Tesla: Allowed.

Churchneanderthal · 2025-04-02T19:53:07+00:00

Minimum height: none.

Minimum fitness level: athletic. Must be able to keep up with me on hikes and preferably plays sports or does martial arts.

Unappealing male hobbies: don't care.

Entertainment value: must have a sense of humor, preferably one that's crude, crass and dark like mine.

Political: just don't be a sheep. I don't care your beliefs are as long as they're sincerely held and not trendy.

One to add: at the bare minimum in terms of family, a man must be on good terms with his father and love his mother. Family is the backbone of everything.

attendquoi · 2025-04-02T18:25:21+00:00

Minimum height.

N/A, but I probably wouldn't be attracted to someone who's super short because of a genetic issue (unless you are Peter Dinklage).

Minimum fintness level.

N/A, as long as you're healthy

Minimum income.

N/A, I just won't be financially supporting you

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies.

Zero.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency).

I enjoy going out for special events, that's about it.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be)

Humor is definitely a requirement. I also expect intelligence (college grads only).

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on.

We can disagree on how to solve a problem, but not on what the problem is. No conservatives, no GOP, no Trump supporters (former or current). And preferably no Musk fanboys, I think it's creepy to be fascinated by rich people.

Vikklee · 2025-04-02T18:50:58+00:00

Minimum height: 5’3 (I’m 4’11) Minimum fitness level: enough that i don’t worry he will die young and leave me or that he won’t be able to enjoy adventures without being winded and tired Minimum income: 50k? I don’t know, I don’t think about it a lot. I just care that he is a hard worker Minimum date: dates don’t cost a lot, and I’m not one for fancy food. Legit maybe twice a month and something fun like a picnic at a park nearby (probably 50 bucks if you do it right) Minimum entertainment value: I don’t expect a man to entertain me, I expect him to be able to banter with me and match my energy. I like funny guys because I like humor and personally tell a lot of jokes, but don’t expect to be entertained. Minimum political compatibility: he needs to respect people and be kind. My husband and I don’t agree on a lot of topics but he is willing to debate respectfully with me and has a basic respect and love for other people.

Women don’t ask for a lot, despite what the other guys may tell you.

thelajestic · 2025-04-02T20:08:30+00:00

Minimum height.

I'm under 5ft and have never met anyone I thought was too short. So none.

Minimum fintness level.

Able to do normal everyday activities, go for walks etc.

Minimum income.

None as long as they live within their means. My husband was unemployed and on benefits when we met, but he lived within his means which is the most important thing.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies.

I think it would be more about what the hobby is than how many there are or how gendered it is - I'm not into people who have the gym as a hobby for instance, and I probably wouldn't be into someone who wants to whack a massive spoiler on their crappy car and go street racing or something. But I can't say I've encountered many people where I'd have a problem with their hobbies.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency).

Free, loose plans (I think it's best to decide on a date together, I have no need for my date to do the planning). Frequency does depend on things like location, schedule, outside factors, but probably once a week or so in the early days.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be) minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla)

These are the more important things. I don't think a guy needs to entertain me, but we do need to be entertaining to each other. Like, have shared interests and similar sense of humour and a similar approach to life. Don't want them to just never do or try anything new or fun, but we don't need to be skydiving every weekend and it's good to have some nice quiet days together where you just chill. Needs to be super politically compatible and compatible in beliefs. No right wingers, no religious people, no flat earthers. Basically needs to be sensible and compassionate.

Fancy-Statistician82 · 2025-04-02T20:28:26+00:00

Assume all men are spergs and spell it out for us please.

What's a sperg?

Minimum height.

I've dated shorter than me, this isn't a filter.

Minimum fintness level.

This is a filter. Hikes, eats at least 50% vegetables, cares about himself. My husband doesn't visit the gym or really do any specific strength training, but he feels a need to take an hour long walk over broken or hilly ground every day in every weather, and finds excuses to pick up things in the yard and house all the time, so he's fit. Some four-pack abs in his middle fifties.

Minimum income.

Harder to speak to. I've several times in my life dated men sometimes for years at a time who earned less/ had less access to accumulated or generational financial security than me, but I do confess I married a man who initially earned more than me and had saved more. Money starts to matter more when you have less of it, or start to be anxious about caring for the babies. I never ever had a number value filter, and I think we were already married before he confessed how much he had saved up.

Maximum amount of unappealing male hobbies.

Not even sure what this means. My friend that does tabletop gaming weekly is a woman. I'm not into watching sportsball and I found me a man who also isn't into watching sportsball. As in, our kids both do tons of sports, we are active and interested, but not about buying franchise jerseys or watching it on the TV. My husband loves to spend time researching the best hiking gear or camping food or dithering over which route, and I find it quite dull but I like going on the trips and I appreciate the time he puts in.

I think that every person who is on top of their work, hygiene, and contributing to the house, should feel fine doing whatever they want for a few hours. Be that making candles, playing video games, obsessing in the gym lifting weight, etc.

This time of year I lose mine to the garden. He raises a huge vegetable garden and just has little interest in anything else right now, won't come in to dinner until the sun sets etc.

Minimum requirements for a date (plan, price, frequency).

Planning half of them is lovely. Price is better low, I find splash things to be very intimidating.

Minimum entertainment value ( how funny/ exciting/ boring can he be)

This is where I'm going to contravene your rules and say it depends. I've really enjoyed him having a mix of being up for trips, we've had some great adventures. He's suggested, planned, and followed through with some amazing exciting experiences. But it has NOT been extroversion or being a comedian, a showman.

minimum political compatibility ( how many things is he allowed to disagree on. Is he allowed to drive a tesla)

Utterly completely crucial, complete deal maker/ breaker. This is how he landed me, he was an early adopter for solar panels 25 years ago before that was a thing, and on the board of a local activist group for climate change.

Funny enough, he does drive a Tesla, but we bought it before the muskrat displayed he was a douche.

Specialist-Age9387 · 2025-04-03T07:59:38+00:00

Minimum height is like 5’8. Preferred is 6’4. Was with a 6’5 man for a while. It’s just ever so slightly too tall. 6’3-6’4 is the sweet spot. My biggest celebrity crushes and crushes back in college were no where near that tall. Being tall makes men hotter. Height does NOT determine whether you’re hot. I’ve met tons of average height and lower guys who made me absolutely swoon.

Fitness level: flat stomach but not a flat butt. I prefer some defined muscles (not too big) but I’m attracted to men who are just trim too.

I don’t care about hobbies as long as long as they aren’t all consuming time-wise. I wish men had quirky male hobbies again. I want a man with a huge model train layout in his basement who builds ships in bottles in his living room where he keeps his stamp collection.

Minimum income: for casual dating I could not care less about income. For long term relationships? Ideally 100k. I make over that and the dual income is NICE. Minimum would be like 70k. That’s enough for a man to live comfortably and still have money for extras where I live. If I lived somewhere rural the number would be lower.

Date? First date is a vibe check. Something cheap like coffee. Second date could also just be a vibe verifier. Third date, I expect a man to WANT to buy me dinner. I want to see him reach for the check. But I’ll most likely split it with him. Doesn’t need to be fancy. Why do I want him to want to? Because it shows he likes me. Men know many women do expect that, so if they’re trying to impress me they won’t want to fumble on that. I didn’t make the rules. The game already started before I got here. I am merely a player.

Entertainment? If he’s interesting he needn’t be funny. Funny is a nice bonus. If he’s doesn’t laugh at at least some of my jokes that would be a deal breaker though. I’m funny in real life. Men tend to laugh a lot around me. The couple who didn’t just rubbed me the wrong way.

Political compatibility? Oh they have to be a leftist or at least a liberal. This is about compatible morals. If you don’t think everyone is entitled to live with dignity and have their basic needs met, we are gonna have a problem.

Title	Whats the true minimum?
Author	petellapain
Upvotes	12
Comments	187
Date	April 2, 2025 5:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jpuvw8/whats_the_true_minimum/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-the-true-minimum.1548416 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548416

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