The idea that a guy is morally obliged to date an old chick just because he’s old is regarded

wtknight · 2026-02-27T13:25:16+00:00

Post removed due to having an incoherent title

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-27T07:36:50+00:00

Yes it is regarded. People are talking about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Nobody has to care about anyone's opinion just because they are giving them.

Thats why most women dont care what men say or want despite them having soooo many opinions on what women should be and do.

I say: good for Spidey. He can do what he wants. And its not illegal to date a 20 year old. If she was a teen I would feel more uncomfortable with it but even then nothing would have consequences anyway. Men can do whatever they want anyway without any consequences. Even social judgment doesnt really do anything. Cancel culture has failed anyway.

Women get judged all the time too. I guess at this point we are all equally judging each other and learning not to care about it.

bondepart · 2026-02-27T07:29:12+00:00

The hypocrisy on this sub is astounding. How can “all women are hypergamous and have all the dating options whilst men have none” and “men don’t like older ugly hoes” both be true?”

Sounds like men are actually hypergamous and don’t like that the young beautiful women they are going for aren’t interested in them.

Crazy_Kray · 2026-02-27T08:04:30+00:00

"what could they possibly have in common"

same question my grandma asked my uncle when he started dating a woman from morocco. If redditors think that a inability to share memes and pop culture references is "having nothing in common" then I'm interested what they'd think about interfaith couples hailing form entirely different ethno-religious backgrounds.

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2026-02-27T07:20:08+00:00

Seething? No one is seething, they are just gossiping which is what they do in celebrity forums. Of course they will gossip about this: When a man in Hollywood can date a woman his own age who looks 20 but chooses an actual 20 year old instead, people are allowed to wonder if it is less about connection and more about inexperience, and that is what makes it weird to somebody. The people with opinions arent breaking any laws either and yet here you are "angry" and seething by your own admission.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-02-27T08:11:24+00:00

A womens value is in her youth and beauty?

Yeah that’s kinda why people see it as predatory, he doesn’t see her as a person, just something to use for a while until she gets too old.

Most people that aren’t misogynistic see woman as people, and therefore when there’s an obvious creep preying on younger women their going to judge, quite rightly.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-02-27T12:02:13+00:00

Why do you so many of you assume women care about age gap relationships because we want the men? We don’t. No one’s trying to take you. We don’t want you.

We’re not jealous. We’re trying to protect young women.

Most of us remember being 18 or 20 and getting hit on by men old enough to be our fathers. It wasn’t flattering. It was gross and uncomfortable. And when we hit our 30s and 40s, a lot of us look back at who we dated that young and cringe.

Some of you fight so hard to be someone’s future regret.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-02-27T07:21:45+00:00

"Women know a guys value is in his earning potential and ability to provide"

- I just want to point out that "men's value" is also a ghost and often used as convenient. Like you're telling that men's value is his money basically, but in another conversation when i will say that, i will face a pushback that it's only to gold diggers, true men's value is his looks. Then his status, if i say about looks. Then whatever else is convenient just to undermine an argument.

"So why can’t a high value man date a high value woman?" - Anyway no, i don't think he is HVM. Yes he has money, but he doesn't have youth, and there are some women who are attracted to older guys, it's their right, as is his to be attracted to young women, but that doesn't make him high value.

"Men don’t like older ugly women even if they’re rich." - tell that to those men and women, because many women actually noticed that after 30 something, young men start to flow in their dms with their desire for older women. I've seen women dating way younger guys.

Anyway, age gap relationships are not inherently bad, and you're right that two consenting adults should be left to their own business. But as someone who dated older guy in my late teens, and as someone who have experience with men, usually in those age gap relationship there is huuuge power imbalance with a guy having money and experience and knows how to manipulate, and her being naive and not knowing her worth and also while we can say that she is desirable because she is beautiful, beauty doesn't pay for food and rent, so still imbalance. And guy exploits that a lot. Many women went through something similar and thats why they try to warn others (usually without any luck) and that's why many of them know what the guy is doing and judging him.

love_in_october · 2026-02-27T07:35:38+00:00

Even if all you care about in a partner is their "youth and beauty" (because women older than early twenties are just so ugly, remember that women, you will soon become ugly and lose your entire value to anyone, know your place), you must surely see that a power imbalance is created when your partner is young enough to be your daughter and it's not conducive to a high-quality, respectful relationship on either side. (That's if any younger women even value you...unless you're some kind of celebrity, they're not going to see your value as highly as you do and you're just the "weird old man" who is hardly as youthful or beautiful as he used to be.) Being fixated on "youth and beauty" to the extent of ignoring incompatibility (if you are really as immature as a twenty-year-old at forty then you needed to go to therapy decades ago) shows silly short-term thinking patterns in the best-case scenario.

Equivalent_Dance2278 · 2026-02-27T08:19:34+00:00

You know, the only people I see seething and saying women are seething, is redpillers. You wanna date young chicks, go for it. But 95% of young chicks will not date old men. And the first person I would have listened to at 19 to 25, was my dad. And guaranteed he would have been against it. I would listen to my dad over some old todger wanting to fuck me. But please, go for it. Young women love saggy balls. And taking advantage of dementia.

wellendowedgoat · 2026-02-27T08:53:46+00:00

Normal people don't care much and don't waste mental resources and time on what random people are doing, this is mostly an online issue.

As long as the parties involved are 18+ and consenting adults, it's noone else's business really. People should stop getting baited and triggered about this nonsense.

A young hot woman dating an much older/less physically attractive man in the overwhelming majority of cases is primarily dating him for the financial, social and status benefits she can get from him. While he primarily dates her for beauty and youth and whatever else is related to those. You can call the relationship transactional or superficial, but ultimately it's an equivalent exchange of value and both get what they prioritize. Plus it goes both ways. Women are free to do exactly the same if they want, essentially a mediocre looking older woman dating a young hot stud by leveraging her wealth and fame/status. I mean look at people like Madonna or Cher, it's dead obvious why their 30+ years younger boyfriends are with them and it's not because of their personality and boundless intellect.

Men grind for status, wealth and fame, because they know if they ever make it big, they can leverage it and get younger and more beautiful women to sleep with, date/marry and have kids with. It's built into their psychology and DNA. They aren't going to build wealth and fame to start dating some women on the "same level of attractiveness and age as them". From a biological standpoint, they use their excess of status and money in order to secure more mates and more younger and beautiful mates, and to reproduce more times and have kids with better genes(better looking etc.). It all comes down to biology. Short term? They don't care much, especially if it takes little, effort and investment on their part. Long term in a monogamous scenario where full investment and commitment is required? Of course they'll opt for the younger most beautiful woman they can get. Most men end up with the most attractive woman they can get at the point they paired up, for some that's a young hot supermodel, for others that's an average looking middle aged woman.

Lastly, this is not even a common thing. The ratio of men to women is very close to 1:1. Both men and women generally prioritize physical attractiveness, which means that a man in the 50th percentile of male attractiveness ends up with a woman that is more or less in the 50th percentile of female attractiveness and vice versa. That's why you generally see very attractive people ending up with other very attractive people, average looking people ending up with other average looking people, and so on and so forth. It's very evident when you see the couples outside. A considerably gap in physical attractiveness and age is rare. For a man to gain considerably leeway to date a much more attractive woman than himself, he will need considerable wealth and status. The overwhelming majority of men will never reach that level in their whole lives. And out of those who reach that level, due to the fact that considerable financial and social success takes quite a bit of time, they'll already be paired up, married with kids or way too old to be able to capitalize on it. That's why you see some average looking wealthy man with an average looking same age wife, he got with her early, usually in his 20s, when he didn't have much money or good looks, so his available options were a few average looking women and out of those he picked the average looking one that suited him(personality, intelligence or whatever).

Now if there is a small minority of young hot women and a small minority of older less attractive rich/famous men that want to date each other, and both of them consenting adults, who the fuck even cares. It's not like this is a common occurrence, it's a rare thing anyway relative to the general population.

No-Hunt-6123 · 2026-02-27T11:33:04+00:00

You people post this every 5 business days 🥱 Same time next week?

Otjahe · 2026-02-27T11:38:02+00:00

Just reads as another "I dislike women but how can I phrase it differently" post.

The vast majority of women wouldn’t date old men.

Men who think women get their value from youth and looks are probably never going to be in a committed, long term relationship. Otherwise what’s the solution? Everyone gets older, so following your logic, you could find your dream woman but when she’s over a certain age you’d leave anyways just to start the cycle over.

Yes my gf is the hottest person I’ve ever seen, but I love who she is. I can easily get with women who are just hot, what makes her the one and who I wanna settle down with is her personality.

YOU see women as objects, hence YOU think women just get their value from youth. So don’t phrase it like it’s all of us men lmfao

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-02-27T09:07:51+00:00

"morally obliged" is all about your interpretation of the outside world and the effect it has on you.

I guarantee you that actor doesn't fall asleep thinking about what society expects of him.

You should frame this into something that's actually within your power to change: how you react to something you think, say, or do, that causes harsh society feedback.

-hypnose · 2026-02-27T10:20:34+00:00

You/they should date (legally) whoever you/they’re genuinely attracted to. Who are we to stand in the way of someone else’s happiness?

Younger men being more attractive is also true. Youth is generally associated with physical attractiveness across all genders. And the idea that women are primarily attracted to money just isn’t universally true. Plenty of us are financially stable and don't care about the ''it'' lifestyle. Some of us just need someone sexy and fun and sweet, with integrity and shared goals.

Actually, with the shift in gender roles, it arguably makes more sense than ever for women to also date younger men if that’s what they prefer. The old expectations about who “should” date whom don’t carry the same weight anymore.

Personally, over the past few years, most of the men who have approached me in public or showed interest IRL, not the apps, have been 10+ years younger. Ironically, I felt far more invisible in my 20s. I’ve never been a knockout. I’ve just grown into a more shapely figure during my 30s, dress better and carry myself better. I have realised that there are far more varied tastes in the real world than people online like to admit. If you step outside a bit, you might be surprised.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-02-27T07:52:36+00:00

Cultural norms by their nature tend to be overarching rules aimed at what is typical and not the exceptions. They simplify things.

The underlying, more nuanced truth is that there is nothing innately wrong with age gaps. But take a look at the dynamics of most Old Guy - Young Girl relationships. They usually are not very healthy. Throw out the Marxist one-way power differential and exploitation bullshit. Often the girl is doing her own bit of exploiting and the power dynamics are complicated.

But you are still left with relationships where there is often a trade of wealth for sex and beauty. And it typically isn't some upfront, fully explicit thing because most people can't handle that. There will be fakery. She may be feigning more sexual desire than is true. Real love and companionship don't grow. And what may be sorta working initially may not work very well in 10, 15, 20 years when the man really ages.

TheCultOfGrogg · 2026-02-27T11:29:20+00:00

I say this as a guy…the biggest lie ever told to men by men is that you need to get your money now and date later.

First of all, most of you just won’t get that money. The economy is such that it’s getting harder to make money, and most of you don’t have the connections to make money if you even have the skills, or don’t have the skills of it have the connections. Then, once you have both, you usually need capital. Upward mobility is INSANELY hard for men.
Even if you do succeed in making money, your strategy is ensuring you get women that don’t like you. A lot of these sugar daddy types are HATED by the women they’re with. It’s why these women are basically trying to bleed them dry and give as little as possible in return. These women are basically employees, not “lovers”. They’re prostitutes. Like a Carpet Cleaner, they come, do a specific job for money, leave, and don’t show up again until money is paid. They’re PAID to show up. They would not be there if there was no PAY.
As a guy, we know about 2% of men control dating while 98% of women control it. This means women get to ultimately decide who they want to be with, and most women date men their age…and tbh, I’m actually starting to see a lot of women date YOUNGER. The woman I’m talking to currently is 4 years older than me and has two kids…I don’t like it but younger women tend to play too many games and the maturity/seriousness level I seek in women usually only comes post-kids. This is all to say that women, by and large, are not out dating guys significantly older than them…they just aren’t, and it’s deliberately so.
Men DO however tend to date younger as a practical means. I’ll say that because women don’t really contribute anything to a man’s life (and I’m not saying this pejoratively l, but rather objectively), the things men tend to want from them are things men are unlikely to negotiate on…and that’s the ability to reproduce. There really is no reason to be with a woman if she can’t give you kids, so most guys end up HAVING to date younger women past a certain age if they want kids because you really don’t want to start trying with a 35+ year old woman.
There’s something to be said about the “delayed gratification” crew…life happens fast and seems short. While you don’t want to live frivolously, you need to stop living like tomorrow is guaranteed. Most people nowadays are seemingly setting their lives up to be bliss in old age…and end yo sacrificing their youth to do so…which, to me doesn’t make sense. All you’re functionally doing is transferring the time you enjoy life from now, to later…but your youth is the time when you’re most able to engage in actual life. A lot of people really are just saving endlessly so they get enrich some retirement home when they’re 80 and don’t have to go in debt for life saving procedures at 80…which to me is pointless.

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-02-27T07:17:49+00:00

Women aren't actually upset by high value men dating young women, though. They're upset by low value men so much as interacting with any women.

The fact that you think women are upset by high value men dating young women suggests you pay attention too much to what women say, rather than what they do.

Women will say they think power gaps are dangerous and then celebrate dating a billionaire to get that bag. Women will profess that they are frightened by the physical superiority of men over their kind, but swoon over tall, aggressive, physically overbearing and dominant men while acting disturbed or alarmed by the feeble, harmless one.

The lesson here is to stop listening to women. Literally #dontbelievewomen.

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balhaegu · 2026-02-27T08:39:09+00:00

Thats it just make a law that requires 20 year old women to only date 20 year old men and vice versa. Not one year older or younger allowed. Same for income level. You can only date someone within $10,000 of yearly income. Then finally everyone will be happy.

statsfodder · 2026-02-27T10:53:40+00:00

You can date whoever is willing to date you that fits your preferences.

This goes for every human on the planet.

What gets me is people who complain about the preferences of people that they wouldn't date anyway. Like why care that a person's preferences remove you from a dating pool you don't want to be in?!?! ... makes no sense.

Nihi1986 · 2026-02-27T12:05:52+00:00

It's legal and if they both want it then it's fine...

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-02-27T13:11:45+00:00

And who's having that idea?

Women mature enough to understand what's wrong with a 50yo exclusively dating 20yos wouldn't settle for a midlife crisis bro who does that, so I don't think this is a real issue anyways.

Not saying agr are wrong. A big age gap between two mature adults is not a problem. Having a preference for a bigger age gap is not a problem either.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-02-27T13:14:42+00:00

A man who thinks in terms of "high/low value" doesn't respect women, and frequently doesn't even like women. He's ideal, if you wanna ruin your life. Young women are inherently less adept in recognizing that - bc that comes with life experience, and time is linear.

The setup is for a relationship that works for a very short time, if at all, and then becomes resentful and miserable. The only one going into it with that understanding is the man.

Like a skeezy car salesman trying to fleece someone who obv doesn't know enough about cars to recognize they're getting screwed. Ideally, the salesman grows some morals and stops, but he prob won't. Next best thing is to warn the customer and expose the salesman's practices, so he can't cheat ppl with impunity.

Of course a man who's called out is gonna have feelings about it. But his feelings don't change the fact that he doesn't have the right to harm her. What's being taken from him never belonged to him. And if he respected women at all, he'd be happy to see them protected... so, his opinion on their safety is moot.

SummerBreeze750 · 2026-02-27T11:22:01+00:00

The entire seething at age gap relationships comes down to women’s refusal to accept that her value is tied to her youth which is fleeting with every day

I disagree with this a little bit. For the most part, they are okay accepting the value of their youth when they are young. It's only when it no longer works to their advantage that it becomes an issue.

And by the way, the phrase I hear a LOT is "age appropriate." The implication being that it's inappropriate for a man to date someone a good deal younger than him.

Title	The idea that a guy is morally obliged to date an old chick just because he’s old is regarded
Author	Past-Shoulder-631
Upvotes	3
Comments	167
Date	February 27, 2026 7:10 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rfzvff/the_idea_that_a_guy_is_morally_obliged_to_date_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-idea-that-a-guy-is-morally-obliged-to-date-an.1574351 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574351

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