Men are smarter than women...only until we talk about men manipulating women and taking responsibility

brassbuffalo · 2026-03-16T13:13:58+00:00

My problem is that many women love to say that women can sense misogyny on a guy. You can see these women say things like "you aren't single because you are ugly. You are single because you're a misogynist and women can tell". The narrative is that women can supposedly smell the misogyny on incels, but are completely blind to the misogyny of abusers. It can't be both.

On an anecdotal note, I've warned 3 women a man was abusive and been ignored by all 3. In one case, I knew the man was violent. In the other 2, I told my friends that the way they were being treated was not okay, and they weren't even dating yet. I was told that I just didn't get it. My own personal history suggests that abusers don't even hide. They don't have to.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2026-03-16T13:03:17+00:00

The problem with this post is that it builds its entire argument on a premise that isn’t actually representative of what most people say. It starts with the claim that “men claim to be superior to women” and then constructs a logical trap around that idea. But most men don’t go around claiming men are universally smarter, more honest, or more logical than women as a blanket rule. That’s a caricature of an extreme position. Once you start with a strawman like that, it’s easy to construct a clever sounding argument that “proves” hypocrisy.

The next issue is the false dilemma the post creates. It tries to reduce the situation to three options: men are superior, men are equal, or men are dumb. But responsibility for abusive behavior doesn’t depend on intelligence or superiority in the first place. Abusive people can be intelligent, average, manipulative, impulsive, emotionally unstable, or any combination of traits. Abuse is about behavior and character, not about whether an entire sex is smarter than the other. So the entire logical structure of the post is flawed because it assumes that intelligence determines responsibility for abuse, which isn’t how human behavior works.

There’s also a sleight of hand happening in the way manipulation is framed. When someone says abusive partners can be manipulative, that doesn’t mean they’re claiming the abuser is some kind of genius mastermind. Manipulation in relationships often works through emotional leverage, gradual boundary pushing, isolation, guilt, and psychological pressure over time. That can happen regardless of gender and regardless of whether the manipulator is especially “smart.” It’s a social and emotional dynamic, not an IQ contest.

The post also ignores the fact that abusive relationships are widely acknowledged to involve complex psychological dynamics that can trap people. If the logic in the post were applied consistently, then anyone who is manipulated or emotionally abused would always be blamed for failing to “see through it.” That would mean blaming victims across the board, regardless of gender. But most people recognize that real relationships are more complicated than that.

Another thing the post quietly does is assume that when people talk about abusive men, they are talking about all men. In reality, most discussions about abuse focus on specific individuals who behave abusively, not on men as a whole. The post intentionally blurs that distinction so it can accuse men collectively of hypocrisy.

Finally, the conclusion that men “want all the praise but none of the responsibility” doesn’t follow from the argument it presented. Holding abusers accountable is already widely accepted. Abuse is condemned socially and legally. People are prosecuted for it, lose jobs over it, face social consequences for it, and are widely criticized for it. The idea that men as a group are somehow escaping responsibility for abusive behavior simply doesn’t match reality.

What this post really is is a rhetorical exercise designed to frame one side of a gender debate as hypocritical. It relies on exaggerating what men supposedly believe, setting up a false set of choices, and then declaring victory over an argument that most people never made in the first place. It’s not actually analyzing abuse or responsibility in relationships. It’s just scoring points in an online gender war narrative. Typical of a post made by a Top 1% Commenter inside of an echo chamber.

Zabadoodude · 2026-03-16T12:25:20+00:00

On average, men are about as smart as women.

Male and female manipulators tend to be pretty bad at it. Do some people still fall for it? Of course, but there were usually clear red flags they missed.

PotentialPresent399 · 2026-03-16T12:29:12+00:00

They are on par with women as men get manipulated by women just as much.

Women are also dumb for falling for it MANY times.

Sure when the wholesome bf you've been with is a normal dude, been loving and caring the entire time just switches up on you and you find out he has a 2nd family thats messed up. Almost nobody could predict that and its awful.

When the weeknd looking mfer with 2 tattoo sleeves, rides a motorcycle, always at the bars doesn't commit its "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN I THOUGHT HE LIKED ONLY MEEEEE :("

Neverending_Danding · 2026-03-16T15:09:33+00:00

Lilith, what the fuck are you talking about?

abaxeron · 2026-03-16T12:44:44+00:00

I love how the option "Men are nowhere near as abusive as your feminist rage-machine made you believe" is out of the picture.

Popeoath · 2026-03-16T12:39:33+00:00

Women have less low IQ members and more education + socialization on average.

If random virgin men can sniff out bad dudes why can they not?

Often they actually can but just choose not to. They take the risk then complain if they get burned.

InitialTrue1501 · 2026-03-16T13:12:08+00:00

Is anyone saying that perpetrators of manipulation or abuse aren’t responsible for their actions? How does any given man (let’s say the median man) benefit from women accepting that men will hurt them without recourse?

There are bad actors out there, and intimacy / relationships are prime opportunities for bad actors to exploit. If a man falls victim to a blatant gold digger, it’d be silly for him to let that color how he thinks about women as a whole or their eligibility to vote. The actual takeaway would be to understand that he’s vulnerable to manipulation and do better going forward.

lesliecarbone · 2026-03-16T13:22:21+00:00

I think successful manipulators are probably somewhere between average and one standard deviation above average in intelligence. The defining factor of successful manipulation isn't intelligence; it's charm.

LofiStarforge · 2026-03-16T12:34:57+00:00

These are also the same guys who went through their whole lives oblivious to the fact that women care about looks. They need the red pill to give them this “forbidden truth.”

This one always cracks me up. Nobody told us. Did you not observe reality?

pie-mart · 2026-03-16T13:40:19+00:00

Also men get manipulated by women too and they never take the blame for it. Its so obvious to spot a gold digger or women seeking attention only

"The stripper likes me" crowd of men who never take ownership of the fact they too can be easily manipulated and that only women are stupid for falling for obvious things

I bet if we asked the red pill men here who have been cheated or manipulated "why didn't you see the obvious signs" they'd be annoyed at any victim blaming, yet are ok doling it out

I think as men, men see shitty men better than women. And the reverse is true. We see and know a woman's bad intentions with a man way easier than them as well

bobbyadekanye · 2026-03-16T12:51:40+00:00

As a man, yes most men are stupid. But what does this say about all the people that let themselves get manipulated and disrespected by them while remaining in a relationship with said abuser

IgorXY · 2026-03-16T12:40:39+00:00

I would not say that men are inherently smarter than women. I'd say men are better at self reflection and analysis and more eager to admit their flaws. Why? Because we more often feel the need to do so. Women can live their entire life without thinking twice about why something happened or did not happen and still experience life to its fulliest. Even here many women admit they don't know why they are attracted to certain men. The mere fact that they are is enough for them, because more often than not there will be some men among them who like them back and if the relationship ends badly, it is man's fault, so why bother thinking right? Is this a smart way of thinking?

Men are different. Unsuccessful men try to figure out why they are unsuccessful, but even successful men self reflect. There is a new guy in this sub that writes in every third comment something like "I am dating since 14 with no problems because I make women feel safe". Notice how he tries to find a reason for his success behind his actions. Women just go like "people say I am attractive, why can't I find a good man?".

that means they bear full responsibility for lies and abuse

I agree, women should shame them and refuse to date them. I don't know what else "responsibility" you expect them to bear. Bad boyfriend jail?

dribblestrings · 2026-03-16T12:27:05+00:00

Men are book smart but not street smart. You know you can be intelligent in different areas but completely daft in others, right?

If men are so much smarter than women, why can’t they manage a household, or look after kids, or do chores without being told? Why can’t they not wipe their ass or clean their shit stains off their boxers? Hm. Big difference. They can be smart in theory, just not in real life scenarios.

growframe · 2026-03-16T12:35:48+00:00

either men are this smart and great

Men aren't particularly smart and great, so no

Or they are on par with women, and then again they bear full responsibility, because it is possible (but some women can learn to see and avoid it)

This is incoherent

Or they are so dumb that yes, it's not possible logically to fool a woman, and that means that women bear full responsibility.

Men aren't too dumb to fool gullible women.

You seem to be under the impressions that manipulation is a zero-sum game of intelligence. Scammers aren't necessarily smarter than their targets, it's more about identifying vulnerabilities.

DeciduousLesbian · 2026-03-16T12:18:39+00:00

Good looking 6’5 guy who is unemployed, didn’t graduate high school, doesn’t know how to read, texting: “com over now plz”

“I keep getting manipulated by ex!” 🙄

AutoModerator · 2026-03-16T12:14:04+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2026-03-16T12:14:04+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Large_Bed_4251 · 2026-03-16T13:23:13+00:00

Women have the advantage of manipulating men from birth, as mothers spend far more time around their children than fathers do (and said fathers were manipulated by women from birth as well).

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2026-03-16T13:40:02+00:00

This is a strange argument you are making OP. Men lie. Women lie. Children lie. Everyone lies at some point. Men are not inherently better liars or manipulators.

chriszenpaok · 2026-03-16T14:49:11+00:00

Idk man I was told women are so smart but they also don't have the agency to not be manipulated by known bad people, who often tend to be dumb

DietTyrone · 2026-03-16T14:51:44+00:00

Don't know how many people are arguing in favor of men being smarter than women. Sounds like you're arguing against your own straw man or heard. One person say that and decided to make it out like this is a common argument, but I digress.

It's no different than scammers. Sure scammers exist, but are they the majority of people? No. Are they smarter than the average person? Not usually. Some people are just more susceptible to falling for the scams for one reason or another. Sure, there are scammers that put in a lot of effort into figuring out ways to mentally manipulate people but your average guy isn't putting that much effort into smashing and passing. That claim just isn't that believable.

You know what is believable, that women, like men, sometimes ignore red flags when they have the hots for someone. It's a very common phenomenon. Men call it thinking with their dicks. For some reason, women hate to admit when they do this and instead try to claim it's something they couldn't avoid do to external factors or they'll say things like "well the nerdy guy could have cheated on me and had a soft harem too, you never know." Even if the guy had a sketchy reputation to doing similar shit, they almost never take accountability for picking him anyway.

BathAutomatic6972 · 2026-03-16T15:48:35+00:00

I disagree—everybody is pretty dumb overall.

Pitiful-Purple-7459 · 2026-03-16T17:43:38+00:00

If you read anything please read this comment. You should look up Derek Jaxon. Earlier in his career as a relationship coach women love this guy. Every man was saying he is toxic and he's a manipulator and he's only telling you what women want to hear. But this didn't stop women from comparing every guy to him and supporting him financially on YouTube. Lo and behold he comes out as a serial cheater. All the men knew this but the women didn't.

I think you have to kind of look at it like this. For the average man when another man lies or is toxic it's so obvious that we just can't see how women don't see it.. look at it from this point of view it does make sense. If We are the more logical species that we claim we're more likely to see the faults in our own actions. To be honest I have rarely been surprised when I hear certain men have been abusive. I've literally had talks like this. " He's been addicted to drugs, his ex-girlfriend's are warning you and he has a history of sexual coercion that you knew about? How did you not know this?" It's kind of like going out with a gold digger and being upset that she wanted money from you.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2026-03-16T17:48:08+00:00

women can sense misogyny with their female intuition and are more socially attuned than men... only until they date a hot, desirable, rich, etc. guy.

Substantial-Fly4895 · 2026-03-16T19:47:56+00:00

Intelligence does not equate to being hardened against manipulation, EIQ and IQ are two different things. I don't think anyone reasonable would dispute that women have superior EIQ.

Also, the median man and woman are of equal intelligence. However, there are more male geniuses due to higher genetic variation in the y chromosome. Men are nature's experiments. It all dovetails together with the majority of men not being able to breed in ancient and prehistoric times - nature makes men evolve quickly, failures are just as quickly weeded out, but the winners get the breed at proportionally higher rates... and the result is ever increasing intelligence, height, dick size etc. Humans already have the biggest dick of any primate. Ask yourself why that is.

PrecisionHat · 2026-03-16T20:11:43+00:00

I've never heard any man or woman say men are too dumb to manipulate or abuse women. Where are you hearing that as an excuse?

Being more logical doesn't make all men smarter than all women, just like being more emotional doesn't make all women more empathetic and nurturing than all men.

TheDwiin · 2026-03-17T03:33:45+00:00

Whenever I hear the "men are smarter" remark, I always rebut with "then why are boys and men falling behind in every level of education?"

It's a serious problem, and it isn't being treated as one because of the apex fallacy.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-03-18T11:40:43+00:00

Everyone's dumb by default. Critical thinking is very uncomfortable, logic requires discipline, stepping out of echo chambers makes you feel ideologically homeless. The human brain is hardwired to protect itself from cognitive discomfort. We're a species of brilliant morons and being actually smart is reserved for the chosen few (ok, the chosen many)- it's just that it's a very egalitarian process where everyone gets to choose whether or not they want to be in that group, and the number of chances is almost unlimited.

Not being dumb is a choice that one has to actively and continuously make.

"Men are smarter than women" or "women are smarter than men" or "these people strictly this" or "those people strictly that" is typically a foolproof way of telling someone didn't make that choice. Of course they will support their claim with subpar reasoning, cherry picked examples and illogical argumentation.

anonymousppd123123 · 2026-03-16T12:54:01+00:00

ive worked out a very effective system for detecting people lying to me, theres nothing stopping you from doing the same

Suddenly men can't be abusive and liars because, wait for it, they are too dumb. They are obvious in their manipulation, lies and easily avoidable.

it's easier to detect lying than it is to lie well. Because lying well requires creating an elaborate scenario around the thing being true and behaving as if it is true when you're actually benefiting from the opposite. You have to keep track of 2 divergent realities in your head and look out for the points where they clash and avoid them by design. That's much harder than identifying where there would be a clash and forcing the interaction there and seeing what happens

so yes all manipulation attempts are very transparent and obvious

So my point is that men like to take all the laurels until that means they are also responsible for their actions.

why would I be responsible for another man's actions ever?

nightcall379 · 2026-03-17T00:39:29+00:00

Men are smarter than women...only until we talk about men manipulating women and taking responsibility

It doesn't take a high IQ to manipulate a starving person with food

Until...there is a topic about abusive relationship. Suddenly men can't be abusive and liars because, wait for it, they are too dumb.

Literally no one says that

It's hilarious how your position is so weak that you people regularly just make stuff up to stay in the debate Lmao

The point is that it's a fact proven beyond any shadow of a doubt at this point that women will pick an evil man, while knowing that he is evil, if he is attractive

And then women accuse non selected men of not being selected due to being evil and women detecting their evil with their personality-detectors, while simultaneously whining about being manipulated by a guy who beat all of his exes, and she knew about it before starting to date him

Title	Men are smarter than women...only until we talk about men manipulating women and taking responsibility
Author	Lemon_gecko
Upvotes	0
Comments	237
Date	March 16, 2026 12:14 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rv7r7y/men_are_smarter_than_womenonly_until_we_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-smarter-than-womenonly-until-we-talk-about.1575631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575631

Comments