Are there any women here who admit to having married betabux?

philomexa · 2020-06-05T00:20:05+00:00

These are nonsensical questions, why would any normie woman think or talk in these terms?

With that said I married a hot and broke musician, 15 years later he's still hot and broke. No regrets.

wtknight · 2020-06-05T00:34:59+00:00

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sublimemongrel · 2020-06-04T23:45:47+00:00

No lol not by red pill terms. Women don’t marry men they aren’t attracted to, by and large that’s a manospherian myth.

PersonalJudge · 2020-06-05T01:29:56+00:00

In all honesty, I think I went the other way.

I was always taught to look below the surface and give the underdog a chance. I dated safe, responsible guys who I liked, but ultimately found we had no chemistry and they were... weak in bed.

My husband is tall, dark and handsome and when I met him he didn't have a dollar to his name. Everyone thought he was a fuck boy, including me. But I had just come out of a really long relationship with a dead bedroom and figured it was time to have some fun.

He ended up being more willing to commit and talk about marriage then any of the "good" boys I dated in my early twenties.

It worked out pretty well.

flamingoinghome · 2020-06-05T00:00:51+00:00

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crookedsummer2019 · 2020-06-05T00:39:36+00:00

I don’t understand why it’s seen as settling for a betabux or whatever when a woman grows up and her relationship preferences change from party animal frat jock fuck boi to wanting a man who has his shit together and an income. Are we supposed to keep chasing ‘chads’ just because they got a six pack or something?

A lot of men’s preferences for a mate changes too as they get older. It’s not every man who continues to try to date college party girls for the rest of his life. When people grow up so too does their dating preferences.

Looks are still important but more criteria is added. This is just basic adulting.

2020-06-05T00:23:26+00:00

I've always been more about intellect and interests than about guys who believe themselves to be all that plus a proverbial bag of chips. Honestly I find guys who obviously believe themselves to be attractive and who spend a lot of time flirting with women rather off-putting, and I have always intentionally avoided them relationship wise. It's a personality thing, I looked for brains and loyalty. Hotness fades and compulsive flirters generally don't stop flirting with any woman within flirting distance simply because you put a ring on it.

I married a nerdy fellow engineering student who found me attractive and I felt likewise. I have no idea where he would fall on the TRP scale. I don't really care tbh.

I don't think relationships are really as black and white as TRP thinks they are. I think different people want different things out of their relationships and there are a lot of women out there like me who really just want a loyal lifelong partner.

gaylord_fag_2 · 2020-06-04T23:34:16+00:00

RP warps your mind. What a woman finds attractive when she is still basically a kid will differ when she ages.

A girl likes gummy bears on cheap froyo. The same girl as she matures will want something more substantive.

HOLYREGIME · 2020-06-05T00:08:50+00:00

I don’t really think the whole alpha-beta thing applies to women as much as it applies to men comparing themselves to other men.

I’ve never looked at my husband and compared him to other men. I love him for him.

My other married friends are very much the same.

When I met my husband I was looking for a lover and a friend. I found both and we grew together. 11 years later and we’re very much still in love and support each other every day.

I feel like that’s what marriage should be based off of.

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Larebare22 · 2020-06-05T02:36:47+00:00

What the hell are these words?

I don’t even care. Know what alpha and beta means. I also don’t look at human beings this way. Didn’t know other people did until reddit. It’s kind of a deplorable and inhuman way of categorizing others. Don’t like it.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-06-05T01:28:08+00:00

[Guy here] they might not be using "betabux" as a word, and they might not even admit it, but most women find it very normal to just experiment/go out with the bad boys, and then... look for someone more (financially) "stable".

Sheryl Sandberg, Facebooks COO said it best:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

Silly_Field · 2020-06-04T23:45:43+00:00

I’m just dating older grown up versions of the same men, although I guess people have money now so you could call it ‘beta bucks’ if you wanted to. Seems like a meaningless internet term to me.

I didn’t care about financial stability when I was younger because why would I? My parents paid my bills and so did his parents, most likely. I always cared about education and ambition - I’ve tried going on dates with tradespeople and we just don’t vibe especially well, even when they’re really lovely guys.

I care more about financial stability now because everyone’s parents aren’t paying their bills. But the guys are the same ones I would have dated when I was younger, just older and more established.

pwr_lftr · 2020-06-04T23:42:25+00:00

You need to define betabuxx in your post, because in some defenitions it's described as men who don't do RedPill strategies (like working out to gain muscle), in others it's the person you've settled for after not being able to get what you really wanted and in yet another defenition it's men who are average, or men who behave feminine like 'soy boys'.

I'm pretty sure that if someone starts saying "yes I have and I love my husband but this is why he's betabuxx" that another new defenition will pop up to explain why he isn't beta.

So you gotta define it or you'll have a comment section arguing about what betabuxx is.

ontherailstoday · 2020-06-05T04:43:02+00:00

The majority of people, myself included, choose people they both feel attraction to and think will be good partners in raising kids and provisioning a household. People are not alpha or beta... traits and behaviors are alpha or beta. Most people have quite a lot of both in them.

Yes of course I've chosen men who I thought would take an equal concern in us paying our electric bill on time to the concern I feel in doing that, who would feel equal levels of concern to me over things like household income, retirement planning, grocery shopping, regular sensible exercise, risk management and whether the couch is comfy enough. These men? I have also been attracted to. And get this... I'm fairly sure they chose me because I offered a package deal of being attractive to them AND being practical and provident.

Have I ever told anyone I am attracted to my partner AND we both care about paying the bills? Well yeah sure sorta? I mean it's not the sort of thing that makes for interesting dinner table conversation but it is the sort of thing that tends to be both standard human experience and frecking obvious. I'm sure they worked it out.

I've never had sex or a relationship with someone who was so one dimensional as to only be about sexy or only be about responsibility. Where does one even find these people? I don't think they exist.

Did I love my partners? Sure... although to be fair the older I get, the more I see of life, the more I understand love and thus the the less I think I or anyone else really understands love. Is complicated.

Have all my relationships worked out without regrets? Yes and no. Still close and loving friends with one ex and regard it as a success even though it had to end, hate the other ex pretty intensely. You're always going to have regrets, I mean humans are pretty complex and no-one is a package that comes without problems.

> perhaps red pill thinking is just plain wrong.

While I don't disagree there is a lot wrong about TRP thinking, in this case we know specifically what is wrong with some of their thinking . People are not alpha or beta. People have traits and behaviors that can broadly be described as sexy... traits and behaviors that can be described as responsible.. and also a bunch of traits and behaviors that are really about neither. People vary in how responsible they are, how sexy they are... and only for a very few at the very extremes is one trait at the expense of the others.

If you oversimplify men into just two simple categories based upon traits and behaviors that usually exist alongside each other, that's not a good start for understanding something complex like mate choice.

sritaunicelular · 2020-06-05T05:03:15+00:00

I was 100% married to a beta. I thought I was making the “smart choice” by going for the “sweet and nice guy” and I realized later that he was full of insecurities, traumas, would rarely initiate sex and wanted me to take the lead on almost anything. He was indeed kind, sweet and caring in many ways, not a “bad guy” It made me feel like I was married to a woman. He would enjoy clothes shopping, he is very metro and VERY petite (around 115 pounds!)

I was never 100% physically attracted but I figured attraction would come after, and at some parts of the relationship it did. I genuinely loved him. I’m not sure that he ever loved me, or just didn’t want to be alone. And honesty I couldn’t accept him fully and that was unfair to him.

I couldn’t handle it. The crying and emotional breakdowns, the constant need for validation and love was too much for me. He was also usually sickly. I knew it in my heart that I could’ve easily manipulated him into being what I needed to fulfill my needs, but I didn’t want to. I want a partner I can respect and I couldn’t respect him.

He very quickly (as in, weeks after moving out and sending the divorce papers) had moved in with the new girl and got engaged again in a matter of 2 months. He is remarried now. It solidified the notion that he just wanted to be with someone, anyone.

the new wife wears the pants in the relationship, fucks other men and then comes home to a warm dinner cooked by him and he is okay with that dynamic. I genuinely hope he found what we was looking for and that he is happy. But somehow I doubt it.

hellobitchitsme · 2020-06-05T11:42:57+00:00

I hate this whole alpha beta bullshit talk. I’ve never meant any men who were alpha or beta. I just met people who were complex in their personalities and don’t deserve to be reduced to dumb hierarchical labels because of some incel made up insecuritiy based criteria.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-06-05T01:09:18+00:00

I don't know a soul who married for money. Everyone in my social circle or family married for love, even my coworkers. Who marries a guy without being attracted? it makes no sense, RP get this wrong.

SaBahRub · 2020-06-05T00:02:37+00:00

Yes. I married the first person who I was compatible with.

rosmaskinen · 2020-06-06T08:19:15+00:00

Betabux sounds like the name of a new cryptocurrency scam

Nodoxxintoxin · 2020-06-05T01:03:05+00:00

Shit, I WANTED to marry a beta bux, some slubby fellow engineer who would not have an option to cheat and who I could have a stable life with. Just couldn’t do it. Ended up with a broke, ex alcoholic Chad who banged every girl in town. It‘s worked out okay so far.

totalmoxie · 2020-06-05T00:02:58+00:00

My current boyfriend, who I intend to marry, is less conventionally attractive than I am. This difference is driven primarily by our weight, I'm within "normal" BMI, while he is one the border of "overweight/obese". He does have a nice, proportionate face.

I would never call him a Betabux simply because that minimizes all the great things about our relationship and the term doesn't acknowledge the insane chemistry we have. Plus, he is very assertive, so he's not "beta" in the common social understanding of a submissive doormat. He goes after what he thinks is right and speaks his mind. At the same time, he's never pressured me into anything, we love cooking together, and are excited to move in soon so we can decorate our own place! I love that he has a sense of style and cares about design.

To answer your questions:

When I first showed a picture of us to my mom, she commented "Oh, he's not very tall is he?" (I was wearing heels in that picture and my mom likes tall men), but I made it clear that his height was fine, and that he was The One. She has been supportive otherwise.
I wouldn't call the awkward nerds I dated before "Chads/Alphas" by any stretch of the imagination. I've always been way more into intelligence and personality, especially sense of humor. I spent my early-to-mid 20's in a LTR with an Autistic man. After that relationship ended last year, I did date a man who was trying really hard to be RP, and had some interesting conversations with him. He kept trying to get me to put more effort into meeting certain feminine ideals, encouraging me to wear makeup, heels, tight clothes, lose weight, curse less, etc. I wasn't trying to live that life, so I sorta just kept seeing him to avoid being lonely (horrible reason to date someone, I know).
Yes, I absolutely love him. He is so kind, generous, funny, and has high expectations for both of us. I find him incredibly hot and sexy, we have insane chemistry and are always trying to make out and rip each other's clothes off.
Since we're technically not married, I don't have any regrets. But given that I've always been unsure about commitment before him, I think it's a good sign that I'm excited to share any potential future with him. If the sex weren't so incredible, I might have concerns, but he's made me reach orgasmic heights I didn't even know were possible. That, coupled with his sensitive and considerate nature makes me feel like there is nothing that any man could try to offer me that my boyfriend doesn't already do better.

mandoa_sky · 2020-06-05T01:30:24+00:00

i don't know a single lady irl (off reddit) who actually knows what that term means.

Kaisern · 2020-06-05T08:33:15+00:00

You’re asking the wrong questions OP, no female would answer this truthfully.

It’s pretty simple really, women fuck guys who have higher body counts and marry guys who have lower body counts. That’s AF/BB.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. That’s why when a guy talks about a girl “leading him on” he means pretended like she wanted to have sex, whereas a girl complaining about a guy “leading her on” means that he fucked her but didn’t want a relationship.

The middle 80% SMV Women spend their 20’s fucking 10th percentile SMV Chads, hoping praying that he’ll commit to her (he won’t, she’s lower value than him).

Then when her looks fade and her options lessen she starts realizing that none of the guys she’s fucking/dating are asking her to marry them. So she has to date “down” (actually her SMV match) and that’s when BB seems mighty appealing.

So BBs SMVs match has spend her 20’s fucking everyone but him and being rejected for marriage by all these men. And still she thinks that she’s the one who’s settling. After all, she used to fuck Chad, surely that must mean she’s high value right?

And thus women have this princess mentality the rest of their life, and as soon as BB shows any kind of deficiency it’s divorce time. People don’t divorce unless they think they can do better, and 80% of women think they can do better. After all, she used to fuck Chad?

ameadowinthemist · 2020-06-05T16:06:24+00:00

I mean, I dated a guy who was super beta once, but there were definitely no bux. I had to cover his ass financially quite a lot.

In my experience, the hot muscley guy usually has a pretty good job and lots of stability. Guys who are losers are losers all around. It’s not like dudes come in two flavors “hot” or “rich”.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2020-06-05T16:29:22+00:00

I didnt marry a "betabux" but rather just a regular "beta" :)

Have you ever told anyone in real life? If so, what was their reaction? If you told other women did they judge you? Did any open up about having also married for money/security, or signal that they were planning on doing so in the future?

N/A since I didn't marry for "money", I married a full-package man due to love, compatibility, and aligned long term goals. :)

Did you fuck guys you would consider alpha when you were younger? Does your husband know?

Not as many Alphas as regular guys / omegas / betas. I didn't know at the time who was alpha and who isn't, because I didn't think that way. Plenty were low value, some were virgins, and some I was too drunk to make conscious decisions. Could they have been alpha? Perhaps. Never was really into that type tho.

Could you truly say you love your husband, or ever did?

Yes, and have loved him since 2 months in

Do you have any regrets about marrying him?

None!

rubbooyuri · 2020-06-05T17:09:09+00:00

Of course I did. The heart is an idiot and should never inform your LTR

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-05T19:36:56+00:00

I'll just say that between RP definition of an alpha and a beta bux, I'd pick the latter even though I'm not one bit materialistic and would never exploit a guy

GroundSloth123 · 2020-06-10T15:24:31+00:00

I think most people aren’t “alpha” or “beta,” so I don’t know if I agree with this question but I do have a story:

Not married and don’t know if I want to be, but I am in my 30s and in a very long term committed domestic partnership. On our second date my partner and I went to see Logan (the Wolverine movie) and he cried in the theater for half and hour openly even though I didn’t. It was INCREDIBLY attractive to me that he wasn’t afraid to show he was moved to tears by something in a public place, which would probably be considered not an “alpha” move. It made me really want to go on a third date.

He also makes less money and has less formal education than me and I couldn’t care less, he’s the best man I’ve ever met and if I ever do get married I hope it’s to him.

whichbladeN · 2020-06-05T04:27:51+00:00

Technically I'm with beta bux on account of him financially providing for me.

However we still have sex every week. I do love him, but he definitely pushes me away at times.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-06-04T23:27:42+00:00

[removed]

Title	Are there any women here who admit to having married betabux?
Author	pwr_lftr
Upvotes	47
Comments	337
Date	June 4, 2020 11:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gwsodf/are_there_any_women_here_who_admit_to_having/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-there-any-women-here-who-admit-to-having.670826 https://theredarchive.com/post/670826

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