What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?

Maingurl · 2021-02-18T19:27:41+00:00

He sent me a love letter.

He said it was written from his heart🥴.

Of course I searched that shit up🕵️‍♀️.

It didn't take me long to find the original letter.

He thought he could fool me.

Poor man has no originality.

Frogspocket · 2021-02-18T20:48:27+00:00

He made a big deal about giving me "birthday sex" on my birthday as my big gift. I was open minded about it like damn what is birthday sex this sounds great.

It was just regular sex but with a wet heavy "happy birthday" breathed in my ear at some point lmao.

Kellianny · 2021-02-18T19:15:03+00:00

In an attempt at romance he started to reenact our entire first date down to what he was wearing and where we walked and what he said.

Edit: It might sound romantic but it was done in a very forced way and lasted hours like a bad theater play I had to watch.

Other "romantic" gestures include threats of suicide and "can't live without you" acts.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-02-18T19:19:24+00:00

Saying, "I could have slept with you, but I didn't."

My (ex) best guy friend asked me out when I was having a mental breakdown. I said I'd give it a chance. I spent the night; we didn't sleep together.

He sounded so proud of himself.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-18T19:07:03+00:00

Once a man sent me a picture of him on the toilet because he thought it was funny. I look back and can’t believe I didn’t block him right then and there. 🤦‍♀️

justforfds · 2021-02-18T19:50:58+00:00

An older man I used to see pre-FDS (50 to my 35). He asked me if I would move in with him if he asked me to. He wasn't actually asking me to move in so I replied that I don't know. He pestered me to answer yes or no and I stuck with I don't know. He angrily snapped that he had never asked me anyway.

A few days later, he messaged me saying he'd got me a surprise present. He sent me a photo of 'my' new washing machine in his kitchen. I didn't reply.

Forwardgash · 2021-02-18T20:36:21+00:00

He thought saying, “I love you hoe.” On MY Facebook wall was romantic while hiding all evidence of our relationship on his own.

Yes I am ashamed. But also we aren’t together anymore.

A different ex looked up at me while he was going down on me...and he fucking winked. HE WINKED. This still haunts me. I’m scarred.

16February2021 · 2021-02-18T19:26:47+00:00

I got a card for valentines. There was some text well crossed out. It said merry Christmas :)

Sensitive-Ad8553 · 2021-02-18T20:55:25+00:00

Telling me that I look like his favorite pornstar 🤡

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2021-02-18T19:29:14+00:00

He sent me a plagiarized poem from joint email he had with his ex wife.

hdost34 · 2021-02-19T00:22:59+00:00

Over 10 years ago a boyfriend had a gift for me for Valentine’s Day. He called me into the room with a gift bag on his lap and asked me to reach in to get my gift. It was his penis. He cut a hole in the bottom of the bag. True story.

sealcrab · 2021-02-18T20:53:19+00:00

Got me red roses for Valentine's day (I fucking hate roses but he didn't bother to ask), raped me, left, and then asked me to send him a selfie of me with the flowers in shot.

Also, asked me to go on a cruise with him AFTER I had broken up with him.

shelballama · 2021-02-18T22:03:02+00:00

My NVM ex got me lingerie for vday. You know, a gift for himself.

coldfoot23 · 2021-02-18T21:59:57+00:00

My ex told me (within the first few months of us dating) that he finally stopped watching porn that reminded him of his ex and was ready for commitment. Even during my pick me days in the back of my mind I was disgusted.

BashRunes · 2021-02-18T20:06:29+00:00

He gave me a "gift". It was a coat his ex forgot in his trunk. He forced me to wear it, said I should take it as me replacing her. He told me it was so romantic, should have been sooo reassuring. Instead it was humiliating. I cried every time I had to go out in it.

His grandparents found out he did that and went out and bought me the most gorgeous full-body length, duck down winter coat for Christmas though. There's good in this world after all.

missgirl649 · 2021-02-18T21:45:19+00:00

Giving me wet willies was his "lOvE LaNgUaGe", even when I asked him repeatedly to stop.

InsoucianceISay · 2021-02-18T23:54:23+00:00

Not so much 'cute and romantic', more he thought it was a huge compliment:

I had severe tonsillitis for several days (like, coughing up blood even while on all kinds of medications after seeing doctor). The guy I was seeing dropped by and muttered about why I hadn't been answering my phone. I said a bit waspishly that I'd still been sick, can't he hear it in my voice, how scratchy my throat was? His face completely lit up as he said, "I was just thinking about how sexy your voice sounds, all breathy and husky! I love it!"

...so glad my pain and suffering turned you on, dude.

Lysa3 · 2021-02-18T22:08:10+00:00

When I was in my late teens, celebrating Valentine's day if I remember correctly. I got him a really nice chess set, as I knew he played a lot with his dad, and it was their bonding time. He got me see-through lingerie... It was obviously a gift for himself, the fucking prick. I wish I'd said something then and there, but I'm proud of myself for at least calling him out on it a few weeks later. I'm sad that I wore it on that occasion, but I never wore it after that, and I threw it out as soon as the relationship ended (after cutting it up with scissors).

Some__Stranger · 2021-02-19T01:26:31+00:00

I have two weird stories.

When I was younger, I dated a NVM. My birthday had recently passed, and NVM said he wanted to get me a gift. Several more weeks passed, and one evening I received a phone call asking if he could drop a "special gift" off at my place. The "gift" was a thin slab of concrete with moss growing on it 🌳😐 The NVM told me he was skateboarding near a construction site and saw the slabs of concrete with moss. He thought it looked cool, so he got permission to take a bunch of the old concrete slabs. His trunk was packed with them, and he was giving them out to all his "best buds" and he thought I might like one as a gift because "they were worth a lot of money" and were "like modern art pieces" 🤨 WTF 😑

The other experience was with a seemingly charming man I had been on a few dates with. He mailed me lingerie. I thought it was incredibly creepy because we never had sex, and he didn't even know where I lived because I had always met up with him for dates. I returned the package to sender and told him it was extremely inappropriate. He explained that he found my address on the internet by searching for my first and last name, that he wanted to surprise me, and that I was "ungrateful" for the "thoughtful gift" 😐 I blocked and deleted him, then scrubbed my personal info from the internet as much as I possibly could 😬

Aggressive_Birthday4 · 2021-02-18T22:34:43+00:00

I had a guy who offered to pick me up and drive me home. I had only met up with him once prior to this. I said I appreciated it but it was too out of his way for me to justify and thanked him. But he kept insisting. I just shot him down as politely as I could but I just wanted to say, “I don’t want you near my home and I don’t know you”.

MLane81 · 2021-02-19T03:24:47+00:00

He made me breakfast using his one VERY old pan. When I questioned whether the black pieces in my eggs were pepper and then found that actually they were bits of TEFLON, he called me a picky dramatic bitch and ignored me the rest of the day.

Softrito · 2021-02-19T00:20:44+00:00

Told the first dude I went on a date that I was a virgin and a bit of backstory (religious schooling). Huge mistake cause he started acting nasty and wanted us to hang out more so that I can get used to him touching me. The thing that disgusted me though that he probably thought was cute of him was asking me how has nobody claimed my cute ass yet while practically saddling me.🤢

Imaginsanion · 2021-02-19T02:39:30+00:00

Forcing me to slow dance with him under the moonlight while he sang. I tried saying no, telling him in different ways i didnt want to, and even tried pulling away. I gave up fairly quickly and let him just sway my practically limp body around against my will. So romantic.

dancedance_83 · 2021-02-19T05:04:05+00:00

He tried to lip sync the words to “Ill Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men to me and knew exactly 0 of the words

greenshadownymph · 2021-02-19T03:16:52+00:00

So many years ago I dated a man who in the beginning took me out to fun places a lot, and then one day decided I was "spoiled" and that he should treat me like shit and stop doing nice things for me. Because I was living with him at the time I stopped having sex with him and started looking for a new place to live, but couldn't break up with him until I could escape him. One of the last things he did to "save" the relationship was take me to a hiking spot we had visited once when we first started dating, and he wanted to contstantly be by my side and touching me, to the point that he knocked me into the river because I wanted to get across by myself and he wanted to romantically help me across. It was like the evil twilight version of our first time there.

Skittleschild02 · 2021-02-19T01:18:08+00:00

He thought he was protecting me from another person by trying to control my work assignments. It ended backfiring against him. He got nice write up from the union & upper management. I just sat back and kept my mouth shut and allowed the fuck up happen.

hopelesscanary · 2021-02-19T03:03:55+00:00

Passionate and public verbal declarations of love. Growing up as a child I would see this happen in movies and it'd be framed as romantic. While I wasn't a die-hard fan, I still accepted the idea without thinking. Eventually it happened to me from a manipulative NVM and it was nothing but embarrassing and pathetic. In real life, when a man feels compelled to yell "I LOVE HER!" in front of company, it indicates a turbulent and dramatic relationship. Now anytime I see such actions I cringe.

Starsuponstars · 2021-02-19T12:37:54+00:00

I haven't been a recipient of much "romantic" behavior. Looks like I wasn't missing much.

But once after an uninspiring but okay conversation with a blind date where he was unattractive but reasonably pleasant to talk to, he sent me a text that grossed me out. Something like, "Good night...I can't wait to whisper those words in your ear."

OK, that doesn't sound dramatic or anything, but, ew. I hate people whispering in my ear, and if it were a man trying to be romantic it'd be a thousand times worse. And what would be the context of this whispering? It suggests that he would be saying it in bed with me after fucking. Which, on a first date that was not sexual AT ALL, was super, super presumptuous and gross. I'm still grossed out just thinking of it.

I wasn't as good at vetting then, so I answered back politely, something like, "Could you not say intimate things like that when you don't even really know me yet?" He replied "OK." Then ghosted forever.

I wasn't exactly sad to see him depart.

darkhorse8419 · 2021-02-19T01:07:51+00:00

A few weeks ago, this guy I was dating offered to have his grown twenty something year old son babysit my eight year old son so we could go out on a date. We had just met a week prior to that. I was shocked that he thought I was that much of a piece of shit mother.

dancedance_83 · 2021-02-19T05:04:58+00:00

Saying he was going to “cook for me” but would make enough food to feed us for dinner and the next 4 nights for him

Sparrow_143 · 2021-02-19T07:14:27+00:00

My siblings & I used to throw house parties fairly regularly. One day I started finding these super cringey, hand written poems hidden in my home addressed to me. It was so bizarre every time I found one I'd share it in a group chat & we'd joke about how pathetic it was.

Eventually I found out they were coming from this engaged neckbeard I was HS friends with. He was one of the ppl in the group chat & snapped.

This guy was delusional. I knew him for 10 years & never realized how much danger I was in.

InsoucianceISay · 2021-02-19T14:22:17+00:00

Remembered another one that ended up being inadvertently a bit gross, though not insulting. It was after showering for the first time at one boyfriend's place. I stepped into the hallway to head back to his bedroom when LVX walked up to me. He inhaled deeply, wrapped his arms around me, and whispered gently and sweetly into my ear, "That's the best that bathroom has ever smelled."

Now, I know he was admiring the scent of my candied apple body wash and shampoo, but what popped into my mind and stuck there was, "Well, that's an easy win compared to the stench level after you and your roommates take power dumps".

gravedestruct1on · 2021-02-19T03:26:40+00:00

Not in a snowy part of the world...dude went on vacation and thought it would be romantic to pee my name in the snow and send it to me since I never saw it before in rl, so I could “get close to it” in a different way.... I wish I was joking.

TheSilentGlomper · 2021-02-18T22:12:12+00:00

I had accidentally sent him nudes that were meant for someone else (I was a young pickmeisha at the time and being groo.med by someone a lot older than me.) A week later, I had a really bad depressive moment, and I was speaking to him about it. I think I said something like “i’m so ugly/unattractive” and his immediate response was: “actually, you aren’t, because that picture you accidentally sent me really turned me on” Like, what the fuck dude. What makes you think that’s an acceptable thing to say.

dancedance_83 · 2021-02-19T05:00:48+00:00

He told me the song “Tired of Dreaming” by Wale was his song about me.

It’s a song about fucking. Dreaming about fucking me.

21 year old me twisted that up thinking that shit was romantic.

riseaboveagain · 2021-02-19T15:27:57+00:00

Although I had gotten exBF expensive gifts and usually paid when we went out since I have an excellent job, he didn’t get me anything for my birthday.

He described the valuable item that he had considered getting for me, but didn’t, and went on to actually say, “It’s the thought that counts, right?” 🤦‍♀️

I do not miss him at all. Or my old pickme self.

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-02-19T19:27:30+00:00

We had had sex a few minutes earlier and I walked into the kitchen to check my phone, he came in after me and while I was standing there he just like, thrust his hips out/side to side and rubbed his flaccid dick on me. He had this grin/twinkle in his eye that made it clear he thought he was being charming in some way. I made a disgusted face and asked him if he was 12 and he did not take it well.

No_Star_8474 · 2021-02-20T13:57:12+00:00

My ex once told me "at least I know you are clean". About me not having sex with a lot of guys and keeping a good hygiene...

Title	What is something a man did that he thought was cute and romantic but was gross and insulting?
Author	Dingopeepeefirm
Upvotes	238
Comments	95
Date	February 18, 2021 12:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lmm6hy/what_is_something_a_man_did_that_he_thought_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-is-something-a-man-did-that-he-thought-was.741773 https://theredarchive.com/post/741773

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