Thinking about getting married again

One4All992 · 2024-10-18T00:34:23+00:00

You're being blinded by all the good. Don't make the same mistake twice. I'm not saying all women are the same but wake up man. Slow down. Date slow and end it fast if necessary. You're currently doing it backwards.

team_starfox3 · 2024-10-16T01:39:13+00:00

Get over the 'honeymoon" ie let the hormones cool off and date her for a bit. You should have a decent idea in 6-12 months. Nothing wrong with marrying again jist make sure you're bettering yourself and who she is, not with you

jd385272 · 2024-10-15T21:56:26+00:00

Make sure she makes similar income in case of a divorce (50% probability)

Also, take your time brother, you have to get to know her REALLY WELL, especially how she acts in stressful situations.

I'm halfway through my divorce (with 2 toddlers), and I learned my lesson (I know which red flags to look for next time). I will remarry in the future though.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-10-15T00:31:44+00:00

For the love of all that’s holy, Think with the big head!!

OleGriffyBoi · 2024-10-14T21:48:46+00:00

PRENUP

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-10-14T20:48:43+00:00

If you have a good relationship why mess it up with marriage?

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-10-14T16:44:11+00:00

does she work? have assets?

really though, i wont and my gf now would marry me in a split second but knows i wont and shes cool with that. i told her i’m committed to her and dont want anyone else. it works for now.

hopefully you new woman is nothing like your ex.

think long and hard about that bud.

deep66it2 · 2024-10-14T16:25:06+00:00

Tell us, what was it like with your xwife early on? Think but don't do. Unlike ORD folks that really f* up, YOU get to do it again.

Boomhower113 · 2024-10-14T15:35:33+00:00

You didn’t mention your age, but unless you are planning to have kids with this woman, there is no reason for a man to get married.

potatotornado44 · 2024-10-14T14:47:07+00:00

You are experiencing the new relationship endorphin rush.

You are literally intoxicated and not thinking right.

Give it at least a year before you would even consider marrying this person no matter how amazing you think she is.

Congrats on finding someone though. It’s nice to see another guy on here who is happy

OchoZeroCinco · 2024-10-14T13:49:57+00:00

Unless she is rich... there is zero advantage for you.

mensmentorizs · 2024-10-14T13:12:13+00:00

You're barely out of divorce, you barely know each and you've only just committed to being a couple 2 days ago.

Take your time, the is this person really right for me will take approx 2 years.

Are your values aligned, what are her REAL intentions towards you, how do you cooperate in difficult circumstances, how do you argue, how are the financial behaviours etc.

IMPORTANTLY mental health, any problematic behaviour can take time to emerge.....

There is no rush, enjoy life without the added pressure..

WindowFuzz · 2024-10-14T13:09:01+00:00

You should watch this podcast: https://youtu.be/cP5NaryxRBE?si=n3Zp-nrLFzLnjhs4

Not all women are like this, of course. Another helpful one: https://youtu.be/ltwUe7Kebqs?si=11MG4Cojk037WtGb

TheWritePrimate · 2024-10-14T12:30:35+00:00

Why marry? Live together like 10 years first. 😂

EstablishmentHot4889 · 2024-10-14T11:34:42+00:00

Read the Map Of Relationships to understand what is happening to you and what happened in your divorce.

It's not a question of marriage or not. Living together generates the same outcomes

Here it is

Map Of Relationships

Exactly65536 · 2024-10-14T09:56:14+00:00

Most marriages start like this, with "she’s really attractive, good conversation, funny, sexy and I really like her".

How many of them end - you can read in this sub, plus your own experience.

I mean, I am now working towards my second divorce, and both time it started with "she’s really attractive, good conversation, funny, sexy and I really like her".

Did it start like this with your first wife?

xadmin1 · 2024-10-14T07:37:17+00:00

She is not special. If she is, she would be a wife by now.

Lean_BigDaddy · 2024-10-14T03:56:50+00:00

Why let the State get involved in your relationship?

RespectInevitable479 · 2024-10-14T02:42:26+00:00

If you didn’t learn the first time. The second time will teach you.

techrmd3 · 2024-10-14T02:24:43+00:00

Making it official as girlfriend boyfriend is cool, you can ride that out for awhile

moving fast is getting married less than 2 years after a divorce is final. So you are not "moving fast" you are talking about it fast.

General Advice I have seen work for multiple people marring again after divorce or being widowed:

1 - DO NOT consider moving in together until 1 year of full dating (4 seasons)

2 - DO NOT set a date to marry until at least 1 1/2 years since first date

3 - Take at least one vacation together at least in 1 week duration or longer, it's best if something goes really wrong so you see your potential under stress and in bad situations... very revealing

4 - Have her meet your extended family, have her meet your kids

5 - You meet her extended family and her kids

6 - I DO NOT recommend you create a blended family with 2 sets of kids in one house (Don't DO IT)

7 - DO NOT intermingle finances, no joint accounts, no loans in both your names

If you really think this woman is "the one" (yeah .. like the last 'the one'? sorry have to say it)... you need to start planning your relationship goals. Of course you want fantastic sex (and you are getting that - good for you) but do you want to keep having that amount of good sex? More? are you ok with less REMEMBER Marriage kills sex... so think carefully. What are YOUR relationship goals? And ask her what hers are (women always have relationship goals).

You will also need to plan the PATH FORWARD for your relationship. GF/BF leads to What? Moving in? Then what Big Trip to Island? Then what?

start planning for the milestones that will lead you to be comfortable to say I DO to another woman who may well take her vows as seriously as your ex did. (get it?)

skepticismlot · 2024-10-14T02:17:12+00:00

“I really like her more than any of the other women I’ve dated”

You felt the same about your ex wife at some point I’m sure.

Taking it slow would be the logical thing to do here.

You can do practically everything that you can do married, unmarried.

Joe_F82 · 2024-10-14T01:53:18+00:00

I think you're in the honeymoon phase big time and getting way ahead of yourself. Why rush? You barely know her no matter how good the sex and connection is. You find out over time, and as someone previously said it's not 1930 😂

IAmOculusRift · 2024-10-14T01:45:52+00:00

Don’t be an idiot. This isn’t 1930. You can live just fine without getting married.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2024-10-14T01:37:46+00:00

Yes never again I'll date again eventually but never doing that again

lifeisallihave · 2024-10-14T01:14:27+00:00

Even in some places living with her in a certain amount of time could put you on the hook should things not work out. Great that you found love again and it's probably helping with your healing but take your time.

LostPhase8827 · 2024-10-14T01:10:32+00:00

Marry her! Tomorrow dammit!

AlexKidd79 · 2024-10-14T01:01:05+00:00

You ever see that meme from "The Office" where Toby returns and Michael Scott's reaction is: "NO! God. NOOOO, God, please, no!"

Yeah...

TheNattyJew · 2024-10-14T00:51:36+00:00

You really really need to slow your roll. Live with her for a few years so that you get to see the real person. You are still on your honeymoon with her and the new relationship energy has not worn off yet. You are only seeing the best side of her. Go on a few vacations with her. Live with her a while and experience hardship with her. You will see the real person then

Corvettelov · 2024-10-14T00:48:44+00:00

Ignore the negative Nancie’s. Continue to learn more about your new friend. Don’t move too fast. After about 6 months move in together. Living together is the true test. That’s when you find if you’re compatible. Be sure you’re both financially good. You don’t need another dependent. Yes consider a prenup so you don’t get hosed. 2 years would be good. Good luck.

berzerker5000 · 2024-10-14T00:46:21+00:00

This is not the best sub to ask lol. Guys here are either in midst of a nasty divorce or suffering PTSD and hearts are closed off. Life is short. If you love her and she brings you peace, then do it. I am in your same shoes right now. Dated awhile after divorce. Met someone recently and it was love at first sight. Like no other feeling I ever had even with my exw when we first met.

Prenup is prolly a good idea if you have alot of money. That will eliminate a lot of the disputes should you ever divorce. Make it about making sure she is ok should that happen vs. you not trusting her. It’s the same rationale for wills. Marriage either ends in death or divorce no matter what so why not prepare for it.

In the end, it’s all about love. Finding true love is such a rare blessing. Especially later in life. Don’t wait years and years to string her along. If marriage is not important to either of you, that’s one thing, but if it is then it is. At our age, we have been through enough where we know if it’s real or not. I been through the rebound girlfriends already. This is something else entirely. This is the women I have been looking for my whole life. I am giving it a few more months until after we live together a little bit to pop the question.

GalamineGary · 2024-10-14T00:40:28+00:00

There is no benefit for a man to get married these days. It’s only downside.

qmriis · 2024-10-14T00:36:25+00:00

How old are you?

How old is she?

FUMoney · 2024-10-14T00:31:25+00:00

Give it two years, maybe three. Then see how you feel about it.

Particular_Mix_4160 · 2024-10-14T00:30:24+00:00

How stupid are you? Just think back to your first marriage. Wasn’t your first wife attractive, funny, sexy and all the other compliments that you gave your new girlfriend. Why would any man ever want to get married especially after a horrible divorce.

VariousScallion8597 · 2024-10-14T00:26:59+00:00

There is only one question to ask: will you be having kids with this woman?

If not, you have zero reason to marry. If you marry you will need to insist on a prenup so comprehensive it will make her drier than the Sahara. So why don't you answer that question and then explain to us why you're even considering this.

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-10-14T00:24:21+00:00

Insert Michael from the office saying noo god no meme

Accurate-Ad-6189 · 2024-10-14T00:21:15+00:00

I've gone through all this i will never get married again its just to hard work for me im single now and loving it at age 61 life can only get better from here on Cheers.

Dogandponytac · 2024-10-14T00:21:14+00:00

Take advise from people who are where you want to be. If that’s what you want… I suggest taking it slow like the others have said and also setting up a detailed prenup. If she’s cares about you she’ll understand the prenup is a boundary you must set to move forward.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2024-10-13T23:59:04+00:00

Good luck, happy for you. Personally, I’m not marrying again unless we make it 5 years without major fights. That’s if I even date.

I’ll definitely take my framed decree out to a nice dinner when it’s finalized.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2024-10-13T23:58:32+00:00

No problems getting remarried. But take it slow. It was four years of dating the same person before I got remarried.

NextCry3375 · 2024-10-13T23:52:06+00:00

Are you codependent

stupididiot78 · 2024-10-13T23:46:40+00:00

You're the type of person who licks hot stoves after burning your hand on them aren't you?

This_Train340i · 2024-10-13T23:41:19+00:00

You should get married asap as it sounds like you haven't learned your lesson yet about the dangers of having a marriage license, which confers zero benefit on a man who will in the fullness of time assume all the financial and emotional risk.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-10-13T23:35:22+00:00

Live with her for at least a year and get a prenup

SomeoneInQld · 2024-10-13T23:33:40+00:00

I wouldnt rush into anything - this is still the honeymoon phase.

This may be a rebound relationship.

I would be with this person for atleast 3 or 4 years before thinking of marriage again.

ThrowMeAwayPlz_69 · 2024-10-13T23:31:48+00:00

I wish I knew this prior to getting married: it changes nothing in the relationship. Just get her a ring, but keep the government out of your life and finances.

Title	Thinking about getting married again
Author	No-Marsupial1823
Upvotes	17
Comments	89
Date	October 13, 2024 11:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g32noq/thinking_about_getting_married_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/thinking-about-getting-married-again.1532897 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532897

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