Contrary to what reddit says , I think it's mainly women who want families and kids, men primarily want sex above all

Berzabu · 2023-11-06T20:39:58+00:00

Reddit is a bubble, good mornin' everybody!

demedermidimi · 2023-11-06T20:32:38+00:00

men are marrying women and starting entire families despite actually just wanting to fuck? are men stupid

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-11-06T20:28:28+00:00

Idk as a woman who doesn’t want kids I’m really struggling finding any men to date who also don’t want kids. Every man I meet wants them

Sillysheila · 2023-11-06T20:41:09+00:00

I dunno I personally believe both men and women mostly want to casually date, sleep around or just have boyfriends/girlfriends in their teens and earlier 20s. Then when they get older, they start wanting to get married. And marriage rates tick up A LOT after like age 25-27 for both genders.

I’d say most men want to be dads eventually, and they’d like to raise those children in a relationship whether it be with a girlfriend or wife.

NakedStreets · 2023-11-06T20:26:35+00:00

I think it's mainly women who want families and kids

a lot of men would be perfectly fine with being a forever boyfriend

How is wanting a forever girlfriend not wanting a family?

meangingersnap · 2023-11-06T20:50:11+00:00

At most women just want them a few years earlier?? How old are you and your peers? But like most people want kids dude.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-06T20:33:19+00:00

I get that this is only my experience, but since we’re going off personal experiences here, in my relationship it was the opposite. My husband had to convince me to get married and convince me to have kids. And I would argue that this dynamic may be more common than you think, even if it’s not universal. Hell I would have had kids a lot earlier too if I could have been the dad.

Men have just as much drive to have kids as women do, maybe even more. They just don’t always have the drive to be fathers.

Legitimate_Author289 · 2023-11-06T21:11:33+00:00

I think men have less pressure to decide on kids and so they are more likely to put it off and thus come across that they care less about it than women. Many guys I know in their twenties will vaguely say they want kids or aren’t really thinking about it at all vs many women who have already made up their mind

obviousredflag · 2023-11-06T21:22:46+00:00

The reddit narrative is that men are pushing women to have kids? When did that happen? WHAT YEAR IS IT?

y2kjanelle · 2023-11-06T21:28:05+00:00

Huh? No one challenged this. The point of the “feminist” message is just giving women the right to choose and not putting societal pressure on them.

I’m a feminist and Idgaf if a woman wants to stay home with the kids and get spoiled and run the house. Good on her, slay the SAHM game.

I also dgaf whether women want to be straight up girl boss CEOs who travel constantly and are entrepreneurs and whatever else.

I just want women to enter those lifestyles because they want them, that’s it. Truly and deeply want them.

There’s not a lot worse than parents having kids while not wanting them. It’s devastating.

Lots of men have been playing the low effort game forever now. This isn’t a revolution LMAO.

Most people like the thought of the family lifestyle. I wouldn’t even find it a bad thing if men reproduced less. Lots of men aren’t paying their child support, they’re less involved, they know less basic information than the mom, they abandon their children at higher rates, theyre less likely to ask for custody, less likely to be physically and emotionally there for children.

So if men really feel this way, it would actually be a good thing for them not to have children and stop impregnating women for no reason. 💀

Everyone should only have a child if they are ready and want children deeply. I don’t think most people would disagree with that.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2023-11-06T21:49:26+00:00

The sheer volume of posts and comments from men essentially saying if they can't be guaranteed a wife and kids they'll kill themselves/LDAR/"destroy society" easily disproves this, to say nothing of the number of men who seem to be on a personal mission to convince childfree women that we'll definitely regret it and/or are in denial of or "repressing" our maternal urges. Or that we aren't actually childfree, we were just "brainwashed by society" to be girlbosses or some shit. Men are obviously very triggered by women who don't want to procreate. Women couldn't care less if some random man says he doesn't want kids, much less to the point where they feel compelled to try to convince him that he's wrong about his own feelings.

Men are way more dedicated to changing the minds of and showimg far more concern for women not having children than vice-versa. Women don't whine about "our legacy," "muh family name," etc. etc. etc.

Women aren't the ones crying over the fertility rate.

Different-Virus-7474 · 2023-11-06T22:40:20+00:00

I agree women want kids more. Men mostly get into relationships because they're territorial and don't like sharing women. Also scarcity. Most men hardly have the options to even think about children, women have a choice though. A girl could get pregnant in a month of trying.

azurix · 2023-11-06T20:34:58+00:00

I feel like most people don’t know why they want kids to begin with. It is all biological but if people put a little bit more thought into it they can probably see way more benefit in not having kids. Kids can easily ruin a relationship since it’s adding more pressure to the relationship yet people have them as a way to save a relationship or don’t plan anything about the child. It’s absurd how people suck at parenting

Katatonicsnake · 2023-11-06T20:33:13+00:00

Probably depends on one’s social circle. I haven’t met many men who didn’t want kids. Some of them found a woman for that, some of them didn’t. But most of them want kids.

SychoNot · 2023-11-06T21:23:44+00:00

Maybe your baby trapping peers aren’t the best barometers of truth.

ArmariumEspada · 2023-11-06T21:36:47+00:00

Ah yes, because women are morally superior and family/child oriented, but we men are just horny animals looking for carnal pleasure, with no desire for intimacy or children. I hope my sarcasm is obvious.

macone235 · 2023-11-06T21:39:16+00:00

We have data that shows that more men than women want kids despite significantly les men having kids. It's indisputable. Women just want to dispute it, so they can act like there no good men out there, and they can then justify their own poor choices in men.

Brazuca0 · 2023-11-06T22:30:31+00:00

This dosent apply to most <40 women. Maybe it's true for older generations, but not millenials and genz

HTML_Novice · 2023-11-06T20:35:49+00:00

I’m a man, I want both. They’re not mutually exclusive. However yes, the legacy aspect and bestowing knowledge onto my kids and making them better than I was is the main motivator for it

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-06T20:31:56+00:00

I'm not sure it is that simple. First, there may be demographic differences. What is true for society at large right now may be less true for younger demographics. I don't know.

Also, it is generally true that if you tempt men with the option of lots of non-committed sex with a great deal of sexual novelty, many if not most men will fall prey to that temptation of their worse nature. But only top men really get that option. Generally speaking, average men will eventually want to have a family when they realize their actual options. Men starved of sex tend to only think of getting it, but once they get enough while realizing that they will not be invited to Porn Island with the Chad's, family and commitment become appealing if it is on the right terms.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-11-06T22:08:24+00:00

Women want the status of a kid, men don’t wanna die alone. Both are pretty pathetic and desperate in that sense.

MrBrittle · 2023-11-06T22:23:34+00:00

You have this impression because you only see men who don't want to form a family as potential partners, so you think that men in general don't want to form a family.

The truth is that men who want to start a family are being ignored until some women have children by other men or a certain age. Interestingly, when these women have children or are older, they start to want to get closer to these men, and these men no longer see them as potential wives and some of them will still have sex with them, but will not get married. This doesn't take away these men's desire to have a family, but they will want to have a family with ANOTHER WOMAN.

I'm not talking about truecels, but about average men, the men you and your friends call "husband material", they want to start a family, but for now they are boring, dull and "invisible" within the scope of relationship.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-11-06T22:39:41+00:00

Even men who do want kids, often want the “legacy” not the kids themselves….

If that isn’t the most horse shit feminist demonization of men….do you really believe that we don’t love our kids….we just want a legacy…what world do you live in

I spent years ok years of my life and money fighting to be in my daughters life…that woman made my life a living hell and put me into a four year depression…however for every one of those four years I fought and fought and fought to be in her life….do you really think I did that for a “legacy”….that is the blindest, most transparent demonization I have ever heard come out of a feminists mouth…it goes to show you the moronic conclusions you come to when following a postmodernist narrative that actually doesn’t care about what happens in the real world…I love my daughter…I could give two shits about a legacy

Financial_Window_990 · 2023-11-06T23:18:16+00:00

That's so opposite. Women want to GET married, men want to BE married. When you ask a woman, starting from little girls all the way into adulthood, about marriage the first thing they'll say is the gown, the ceremony, the reception, That day. When you ask men it's about coming home to a loving wife, to children, to home.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-11-07T00:39:45+00:00

It's not mainly men though who agree with killing babies, It's not mainly men who more likely divorce, it's not mainly men who are picky about choosing a partner, it's not mainly men who are the most promiscuous.

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-11-07T01:46:07+00:00

They both want family and kids but they only want them at a later stage in life. Like most women wanna enjoy their 20s and find a guy to have a family with at 30+. Most guys work hard in their 20s than they want to have fun at their 30+. Like you see they don't line up most 30 years old men have a different mind set than 20 years old females. No one to blame but that's life these days.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-11-07T04:33:06+00:00

Stats say it’s pretty equal among men and women when it comes to preference for LTRs and slightly more men want to become fathers than women want to become mothers.

We perceive that men only want sex because they settle later in life. If you’re dating a man under 35, there’s a good chance he doesn’t think you’re the last woman he’ll date in life/needs to be convinced otherwise. Also if you’re a woman who uses tinder, it’s highly likely you’re picking men who don’t think you’re worth committing to. I for the most part only got dates via OLD with women below my looksmatch 80% of the time and none of them were ever going to get more than a ONS

Razieloo · 2023-11-06T20:19:19+00:00

Wow the sex biologically wired to be a mother actually wants to be a mother!

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-11-06T22:01:02+00:00

know women who pester their boyfriend for years and years for marriage and kids

These women sound insufferable

I know women who have intentionally skipped the contraceptive pill in order to become pregnant and later admitted it to their friends.

That's litteral rape.

Even my aunt said that her late husband didn't really want any of their kids but was dumb when it came to sex so she tricked him into getting her pregnant

That's both manipulation, taking advantage for someone and rape

The point is that it's primarily women who push for marriage and kids

Big L if truth (which it isn't tb). They are litterallly the 2 things that fuck women economically the most

lolthankstinder · 2023-11-06T20:30:28+00:00

(Self perception of) attractiveness often calibrates willingness to pursue short term reproductive strategies and willingness to help in child-rearing (aka commit). If you feel like all men are only interested in casual sex, it’s probably because you only give chances to extremely physically desirable men with tons of options who are more likely to want to pursue short term reproductive strategies and not commit to you.

Example1.

Recent evidence suggests that men with features signaling genetic benefits to offspring should be preferred by women as short-term mates, but there are trade-offs between a mate's genetic fitness and his willingness to help in child-rearing. It is these circumstances and the cues that signal them that underlie the variation in short- and long-term mating strategies between and within the sexes.

Example2.

These results support the existing evidence of the importance of physical attractiveness in calibrating men’s reproductive strategies

This doesn’t mean all super attractive men do not want to commit, nor that all average men want commitment or don’t want sex. It’s just a general trend.

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-11-06T23:12:06+00:00

Many men want families. I do and so do most men.

Sex is something that is like eating candy. Eventually it is just another bag of skittles and isn't going to be life changing. After a guy has sex with enough women, each new one may be fun in the sense of having variety, but it isn't generally fulfilling. Its chasing a nother dopamine hit.

In relationships having sex is good for your mind and health, and connecting to a partner, but I don't think many confident men would marry a woman just for sex. I've had a few exes where they were very pretty and the sex was fantastic, but the person was a nightmare and I felt like an idiot wasting my energy on someone whose only major qualities were the physical and sexual.

With families comes actual meaning. A day at a theme park is fun, but seeing a child grow and become a person hits deeper for men because there is something of greater importance.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-11-06T20:49:59+00:00

They're picking oofy doofies probably picking their men based on income and family pedigree and education. I see that a lot. Truth is men who will make good fathers come from all classes and backgrounds but there's only one class women want kids from UMC and elite.

I've literally had fiances that wanted kids but wanted to wait until my job was good enough to afford health insurance, dental and private schooling.

I grew up in a double in the ghetto and my childhood was awesome. Again it comes from women prioritizing wealth and material security above all. I get that material security is hardwired into women but they're taking it way to far and have come to truly believe your children will die if the whole family doesn't have premium dental insurance. Through history this is not how it worked they're playing towards a very artificial and almost aesthetic gamification of society.

Most of the UMC dweebs I knew wanted to live in the hood with me and hated their stuffy lives but I will say the dirt bikes and paintball gun arsenals, first car being a BMW M3 was pretty nice perk of having rich folks.

You know how toxic masculinity is said to be a thing? All this over achieving masculine performance? I truly believe part of toxic femininity is material security anxiety. Its being over emphasized. A little bit of struggle in a family is a good thing honestly I don't even want the boring UMC ducks in a row life for myself or my kids.

Song_of_Pain · 2023-11-06T21:10:24+00:00

Nah, I think a lot of women want kids because they want to fit in with their peers and seem like they're succeeding, they don't really care about their kids, especially if they're boys.

Amiskon2 · 2023-11-06T20:25:33+00:00

Yes, it is true women want family and love, but only with very few men. Those men happen to also be liked by other women, so they have all options in dating and love.

In this dating market, only top chad men win. But make no mistake... there is no revenge fantasy. Women still win way more than what most men will ever get for just being born average or ugly.

Some women do take the risk and date the first guy after the baby fever kicks in, but these relationships are probably not very solid and honest.

Other women rather never have kids with men their own level, to the point half older childless women now wanted to have kids at some point. But hey, that was their choice.

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esdebah · 2023-11-06T22:13:47+00:00

Definitely hit all the possible options, here

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-11-06T22:44:35+00:00

Really? Because most men I've met want kids. Women..a few less. Or almost like it's a person thing not a gender thing.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-11-06T22:50:29+00:00

They just want to be able to have their cake and eat it too. You can want whatever but make that known to your partner so they can make a decision.

Personally I think both genders (in the younger generations) want to have casual relationships because it doesn’t require much effort to maintain them. Men want to have a woman around to have sex with him without him having to do anything & woman want men around to buy her stuff without having to earn his resources.

Long lasting relationships require a lot of effort & selflessness and everyone is selfish nowadays tbh.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-11-07T00:08:18+00:00

Most people eventually want kids.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-07T00:11:21+00:00

Our first kid was a result of a broken condom as teens. The next 3 were not. He's brought up marriage multiple times and proposed. I'm not interested in getting married. I think it's half and half on who wants what between the genders. I know men and women that want to settle down and get married but can't find the right partner. I know men and women that never want to marry or have kids.

monkeybeast55 · 2023-11-07T00:38:02+00:00

I'm curious what is the culture context here? Your experience is not what I observe in my white middle class U.S. culture. Is your cultural context different? And how might that influence what you're observing?

GuysItsGalxy · 2023-11-07T01:13:47+00:00

This first study shows there aren't really any major differences between sexs and who partakes or enjoys casual sex more.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8853360/

Showing instead it always depends on a series of factors per individual instead of a general interest.

That being said anyone who does partake in casual sex still crave intimacy and the family setting

https://www.binghamton.edu/news/story/1460/people-who-prefer-casual-sex-still-desire-intimacy

It may seem that men don't want family anymore but that couldn't be farther from the truth and instead more to the notion that many men are fed up with the marriage system, family court, and allimony settlements.

Mental health also being a major concern for both parties in recent years marking 45% of those wanting families concerned about their mental health.

On top of that today's economy doesn't quite support having a family especially with how most men would prefer which would be a sole income household.

Many men still do want a family and in fact it's more than women but they also wait later in life compared to women who want children.

For obvious reasons women are both socially and biologically urged to have children earlier in life and as such this might cause some impass with finding an adequate partner to have said family with.

When all is said and done there isn't a large disparity between who wants kids and who doesn't, the problem is our society in many ways isn't supporting that dream whether it's by preference or by circumstance.

Pyroblasts · 2023-11-07T03:07:37+00:00

You coulda left this as a thought bubble.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-11-08T03:36:34+00:00

The only single 30+ year olds that I ever hear/see crying about missing out on marriage and kids are women. The single guys in that group travel and golf and are perfectly content (I don't know any incel types - single and frustrated). That's what I've seen.

almighty_mr_d · 2023-11-09T22:33:09+00:00

Could just be where you live or the people you surround yourself with, maybe even content you consume. Because every guy I know (myself included) wants kids and a family

Title	Contrary to what reddit says , I think it's mainly women who want families and kids, men primarily want sex above all
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	0
Comments	164
Date	November 6, 2023 8:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17pbwtn/contrary_to_what_reddit_says_i_think_its_mainly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/contrary-to-what-reddit-says-i-think-its-mainly.1237451 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237451

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