We seem to have accepted the premise of hypergamy, that there's a lot more demand for women than for men, and there's a bunch of loser men just running around and begging for the attention of women. Men are pathetic, they find most women attractive while women barely find any men attractive. Men need to shape up so that women find them attractive (by going to the gym, showering, not being boring, etc).

What if we're completely wrong about this, though? What if it's actually men who have become less interested in women, and that has actually been the driving force behind the collapse of the dating market? Let's try to justify this perspective:

  • Men find a large percentage of women attractive, while women find a tiny minority attractive.
    • Explanation: Women don't find men attractive because men can't be bothered to make themselves attractive. Yes this seems to be contradicted by the giant male sex drive, but maybe that's actually a bit of a red herring. Sure, guys see sex all around them and want it, but they actually don't value the satisfaction of their sexual desires by a woman very highly when they are thinking rationally. For every guy crying and begging for his girl to come back, there are a dozen who just never bothered to make the effort. Men can't even be bothered to be chivalrous anymore, which might just be because they don't think women are worth it (not just because they didn't feel appreciated/get an immediate BJ).
    • Women are extreme tryhards when it comes to making themselves attractive, to the point that they dress like the hookers of their grandparent's generation (yes, I know it's always "for themselves" but give me a f*cking break no it's not). Any guy who looks at an averagely-dressed women will see several sexual markers present that were not present in (common) women's fashion 50-100 years ago. Exposed cleavage, extremely short shorts, tight clothing around the butt and boobs, etc. There's little doubt that modern dress is more sexual than before.
  • Divorce rates rose precipitously, and women are most often the initiators of the divorce.
    • Men stopped putting effort into their relationship. You only divorce if you think you want to get remarried again, otherwise you'd just leave. So only women are actually believing that they can do better, while men just stopped caring.
    • Marriage rates have been dropping. It's mostly men who initiate engagements, so it stands to reason that the reason marriage rates have been dropping is because men have been desiring marriage less.
  • Sex sex SEX Men are obviously sex-crazed compared to women
    • Men have been bombarded with sexual messaging from an extremely young age. If they were little girls, we'd be having national conferences on the "systemic sexual abuse" that our young men go through with modern media and culture. And then the gaslighting that says it's only his problem when he expresses the fact that yes, he feels things when she exposes skin, would be demonized as *splaining emotions, belittling, mental abuse, etc. So of course you're going to raise a bunch of sex-crazed males in such a sexually-charged environment.
    • Men are sex-crazed, but many don't seem to actually value their hormones to the point that they would actually make a significant effort to placate them with the women they find around them. Yes, if you go to a club then you're going to meet all the guys who are willing to do at least that much and they're probably going to act pretty stupid. But it's all low investment. No guy marries to get sex, which was once commonly seriously considered as a reason to get married.
    • EDIT: Porn both causes and satisfies this. I guess the argument here would be that porn causes external indicators to say that men really badly want sex, but doesn't actually drive up the desire for women. In fact, it depresses the desire for women in the net because it satisfies more desires than it creates overall.
  • EDIT: Women are doing awesome recently, more CEO's, more college graduations, the whole lot
    • Men aren't attracted to women's masculine qualities.
  • This is just MGTOW
    • This has been going on a lot longer than MGTOW. Also it's not a pure form of it. Men just overall on average think that less women are worth it, to the point that they don't engage, become NEETs, don't lift, don't shower, etc. They do that because they're content, and they don't feel the need to break that contentment over a few hormones that occasionally make them stupid. However, they will move if they think they found a high-quality woman.
  • What about incels:
    • Despite all of the cries of the incels dealing with their hormones, men are overall getting happier with the movement to more divorce and less marriage, and women are overall getting unhappier.

I think this warrants discussion. Anyone have either something to add to this theory, or something to counter?