How to be confident when dick size crushes self-esteem?

ImpressiveGrocery959 · 2021-09-14T13:55:02+00:00

It’s average man. Most people will be around that size. Don’t sweat it

Dotso89 · 2021-09-14T13:06:36+00:00

Honestly man I’m rocking about a 5 inches as well I also suffer from erectile disfunction. It’s definitely effected my self esteem but when you have a partner who you trust and care for you can make it work. Try exploring new things like cock rings or vibrators if your partner isn’t being satisfied. Being open and honest with your partner Is the best course of action. Every lover I’ve had is different and it’s great exploring each other’s sexuality

justmuro · 2021-09-14T14:18:11+00:00

Stop watching porn

Casanova-Quinn · 2021-09-14T15:47:38+00:00

First off, 5 inches is average, so you're not actually "small".

Second, I'm guessing you watch porn. So, it's important to remember that most male pornstars are 6–8 inches, which is the top 5% of men. They do not represent the average male. Furthermore, many female pornstars are smaller than average, so they make big dicks look even bigger than they really are. Plus camera angles, sex positions, etc. all add to the effect. Bottom line, porn isn't reality.

akshayapps · 2021-09-14T14:29:37+00:00

Bruh, my new fwb occasionally tells me I have a small dick (mostly because she has seen her fair share of good dicks), but would ditch them all to spend time with me, in the bedroom and out. It's not really about your dick size or how good you fuck. It's about how much they like you and fucking you

jaywolf123 · 2021-09-14T13:12:22+00:00

5 inches is the avg size my friend. I suggest u stop worrying about cause most girls say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean which is more important

converter-bot · 2021-09-14T13:37:05+00:00

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easelweasel1122 · 2021-09-14T15:08:51+00:00

I’m glad you brought this up because indeed the casual jokes about oenis size are really inappropriate and can be hurtful. As far as feeling insecure about your size, as a woman I say that some prefer a smaller penis. I do! But most of all I encourage you to think less about the length of your dick and more about the many ways you can give pleasure to a partner. I’m dating a guy now and he has a small package. But he can turn me on like crazy just by caressing my thigh or breathing on my neck, he has skills in the bedroom that are mind blowing ! So work on those sensual skills my friend! When you have your partner moaning and begging you won’t feel so insecure anymore!! :)

Lucid_Nights · 2021-09-14T16:11:13+00:00

Its sad when dudes feel like dick is all that matters. You matter more than your dick.

OneThousandYardStare · 2021-09-14T13:15:55+00:00

According to the sources cited in the wikipedia article on penis length it seems like 5 in. puts you firmly in the middle of the world's average. Listen brother I know there are size queens out there but every girl is different. For what its worth the last girl I was seeing didn't work out because sex was too painful for her. She didn't enjoy it and our intimacy suffered tremendously to the point that we had to call it quits. Was really hard to take because she was a great girl. Another interesting experience I'll relay to you is that a few years ago I met a beautiful girl and found out she was a lesbian. She was an absolute gem of a person and we hung out a lot because we enjoyed one another's company. Over time we eventually developed a mutual attraction and tried to hook up. Up front she warned me that she has a "shallow vagina", something that I'd never heard of before. I don't know how common it is or anything but she said that sex usually only feels good with guys who have smaller penises (and that was partially the reason she opted to start hooking up with girls instead). Nonetheless we tried it and it didn't go well. It was really painful for her and we had to stop.

My point is that every girl is different and penis length is more a problem of men's own making and not really a big deal for girls. If you are worried about being sexually satisfying to your partner start learning other ways to please them. You'll be fine brother. You're experiencing body dysmorphia, your fears are unfounded.

JennySparklezz · 2021-09-14T15:46:24+00:00

As a woman, I actually don’t prefer some huge 9 inch because it genuinely hurts me. I have had this discussion with other females and there are a good amount that agree with me. Also, men and women lie. Guys lie about there size all the time and woman lie that that is what they are looking for. When it all comes down to the deed though… they both might be lying to their friend group.

jivan006 · 2021-09-14T15:56:04+00:00

Bruh! Your dick is just average, and there's no reason at all to worry about that. I was worried when I was younger, but then I moved to California where everyone's naked in the gym locker rooms. That's when I realized that 99% of men are about the same size as me and never worried about that again.

I'm around that size as well, and as much as I haven't gotten compliments on it, I've gotten compliments on my "sex abilities". So focus on that. Learn to GIVE, and not just take, and you'll get compliments on your "dick" although they aren't directly compliments to "him". Read about foreplay, how to give head, and most importantly talk to your partners and do more of what they like. And you have plenty on each on Reddit itself.

Also, 5 inches is a good size. I once got a weird compliment from a girl: "I like medium sized dicks like yours the most, and I really like yours". So yeah, we are medium and we are fine. :)

And like u/justmuro said, stop watching porn. At least until you make peace with your size.

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-09-14T13:43:32+00:00

Learn to eat pussy.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-09-14T14:21:23+00:00

I think you suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. Consider seeking therapy for this.

Per Mayo Clinic: Body dysmorphic disorder usually doesn't get better on its own. If left untreated, it may get worse over time, leading to anxiety, extensive medical bills, severe depression, and even suicidal thoughts and behavior

Yes, some women may prefer their partner have an above average penis, but there are plenty of average to below average sized guys having sex all the time.

harrysapien · 2021-09-14T15:46:25+00:00

The majority of women do NOT have orgasms with "only" penis penetration but instead require some form of clitoral stimulation for orgasm.

Similarly, the G-spot is located about 2 to 3 inches up at the front of the vaginal wall so 5 inches is "adequate" for most women.

There is more to sex than a giant slong and you can become very adapt at oral sex as well as hand stimulation.

Last but not least, sex is about an intimate experience and encompasses romance, set up, foreplay, tease and denial, playfulness, intimacy, domination, submission, give and take... Basically, sex is more than just penis into vagina.

And yes, there are women that are size queens and there is nothing wrong with that, there are women that just need guys that are 7 inches or greater and that is just the way it is. But that is not the majority of women.

If you are pleasing your woman and taking care of her, then all is well and don't let a small penis get you down. 5" is the average.

Moikepdx · 2021-09-14T17:37:43+00:00

You know how women always complain about getting fingered because fingers are so small and unsatisfying?

...wait... they don't complain about that?

People mostly focus on penis size not because it's inherently important, but because it's psychologically associated with manliness.

But BEING a man is far more associated with manliness than having a big dick.

You are who you are. Do NOT apologize for that. Man up.

Now go lay some pipe.

CountFocus · 2021-09-14T17:59:19+00:00

5 is around average so don't sweat it. Porn is another category of big schlongs, add camera tricks and petite women and voilá.

Papa_Musk · 2021-09-14T17:15:08+00:00

Act like a dick then your entire body will be a dick because you are a dick.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2021-09-14T15:35:13+00:00

It's extremely unlikely that a girl is going to comment on the size of your (average and below) dick unless you do something pretty bad to her that would make her want to put you to shame. The only time a girl will comment on the size of your dick (other than when she's with her girl friends) is if it's big. It's either compliment or say nothing at all (no complaints).

ZeevR · 2021-09-14T17:57:40+00:00

You piss with the dick you got, literally. You can't do shit about it. The only fix is to adjust what's going on in your head. The best way to do it is act as if your head is already where you want it to be.

So you want to be more confident? Act as if your 5 inch is the best thing that will happen to the girl that sleeps with you. It can be. Act like it.

VikTero · 2021-09-14T15:16:53+00:00

You're average, so the same as most other guys. Easier said then done but don't worry about it. If you want to be above average read some books about oral and sex preferably written by women and you'll be in the top 10% , wanna be the best? 1%? Listen to your partner about what they want and learn to read body language during sex, not every person knows what they want or like. Apply this and you'll be the best they've had, the bar is not very high for penis havers.

SenorPuff · 2021-09-14T16:21:50+00:00

Why do you distill your self worth down to be equivalent to a dildo? Is that really all you want to be?

If that's all you're focused on, you're probably neglecting a lot of who you are as a person, and leaving a lot off the table.

If a woman is looking at what you've got downstairs, she already wants to have sex with you. Not use your cock like a dildo, to have a sexual experience with you.

zackit · 2021-09-14T17:17:29+00:00

I'm also around ~4 to 5 inches. From time to time I'm also hung up (sorry) about the size of my meatsnake but then I remember two things:

Apart from odd, mostly unproven methods there's not a whole lot I can do about it.
My fleshstick was tested and proven to be able to satisfy women in sex.

These two facts relieve my pressure about my size, since it's not within my control & it's functioning properly and has not let me down (mostly) when I needed it.

Dick size is severely overrated among men. Unlike height (which also isn't a huge deal), women can't see it unless they wanted to see it. And if they wanted to see it, then it really no longer matters.

TL;DR: your dick is absolutely fine.

BigClemenza · 2021-09-14T20:40:47+00:00

Dude I'm 4 inches and guess what, no woman has ever shamed me for it. Even when I've hooked up. Enjoy yourself amigo (responsibly of course). Honestly there's nothing to be proud or ashamed of because of random genetics.

NewlySingleGuy11 · 2021-09-14T16:33:47+00:00

I’ve dated girls that had told me about how massive their ex BFs dicks were and they genuinely said I was much better at sex than them and were like addicted.

Foreplay, playing with clit during sex, a well timed neck bite, etc. all more important than dick size.

Madhukar_T · 2021-09-14T14:54:49+00:00

Drain the clock not the cock

mydicksore · 2021-09-14T15:57:13+00:00

jokes don’t matter, if you know how to use your dick all the girls laughing at average sized penises would be eating their words

2021-09-14T15:59:44+00:00

Im about that size, have had plenty of good encounters.

Lick clit! Be creative (hair pulling, choking, etc). Dont only go for penetration, unless for some reason that is all she wants.

Also, if you go down on her first that may pay dividends if a particular girl doesnt like average sized dick. Your willingness in the bedroom will probably keep her there. And, you can always ask a girl if she has a toy she likes to use. Fucking a girl with a big dildo is pretty fun.

daou0782 · 2021-09-14T16:45:12+00:00

chiming in because i haven't seen my response yet. hope you see it.

you are factually right. no amount of people telling you things like "it's ok, you're average, size doesn't matter, most women don't like it big, learn to eat pussy/use your fingers, sex is not all about your penis/penetration" etc etc etc will make you feel any different about it. you'll think they don't get it. you'll think of all the times you couldn't do a certain move or have sex in a certain position because you slipped out, and you'll remember everything you've been told and still think it wouldn't hurt being just one inch bigger. and that's because no matter how much people try to reassure you, only you can make yourself feel differently.

you have to choose to not care. ask yourself the following: "how's my attitude about my dick size working for me?"

it isn't doing much for you, right? you said it yourself: it's making you have a shitty time.

you should choose to stop caring not because it's easy, but because not changing your attitude is even worse. hope this helps. cheers!

AGhta5 · 2021-09-14T17:15:30+00:00

I used to be like you bro when I was younger. Porn fucks with your understanding of reality. I thought surely a girl irl would laugh immediately. First one didnt and I was like wtf. I got my trusty tape measure and then looked up the average online. I was fucking shocked to realize I was average. I was estatic. Apparently a 10 inch hog aint normal. Who would’ve thought lol

Suspicious-Rub-7999 · 2021-09-14T18:06:09+00:00

You have a really average size. It’s not uncommon at all. Just learn how to please girls, confidence plays a big part in it. A lot of dudes with big dicks think they can just stick it in and nut and don’t have to know how to use it but girls want a guy to know how to use it. That is really what it comes down to.

Porn has fucked people up, thinking girls are supposed to gasp with surprise when you pull it out. That’s acting. It’s mostly just camera angles and acting.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-09-14T18:09:34+00:00

You are spending WAY too much time thinking about other men's junk... you have had sex with 2 women so far so you have the ability to get girls naked... who cares about anything else? how old are you? if you are a teenager (and I assume this because you said you had sex with "Girls"), if you are hang in there.. nature ain't through with you yet .... look into a test booster or HGH and it can give you some increase but do not expect to be a porn star. also don't watch porn.. that shit will f you up.

Available_Session770 · 2021-09-14T20:05:29+00:00

Honestly my guy is the same but still the best I’ve ever had sex with its all about connection and effort. Get good at angles and eating a girl out and it won’t matter I promise

24mech · 2021-09-14T20:21:08+00:00

For the women I dated no matter if they shorter or taller than me- It wasn’t the size of my dick (4.5 inches) , it was about the sex and the times they came because of the performance. I know some women swear it’s all about the size but… luckily for me I’ve met the women who cared about the performance 😏

Fragmented79 · 2021-09-14T22:56:48+00:00

That is a perfectly normal sized weiner! The g spot for most women is only 3” deep. Only 2 notches, huh? You need to get out there and grind every day my friend. It sounds like your inner game (i.e. confidence) is lacking, which can only be fixed by going out and doing sets, lots and lots and lots of sets. I just finished an RSD bootycamp 😜 - and they gave me the assignment of every night I have off from work, I need to do at least 50 sets. Some of these sets can be striking up convos with dudes just to get you warmed up and out of your head. It also helps to keep a journal of in-field reports. And write them on the basis of “what I did well, what I need to improve on, etc.” Do this for every interaction (set) you can remember. Grade yourself on things like sub-communication (body language), tonality, physical escalation (e.g. touching her hand or waist, moving her to a quieter place), and whether or not you “hooked” the set (captured her interest, made her laugh, etc). A successful set for me right now (since I’m a beginner) is just if I kept the interaction going as long as I could until I either got rejected (blown out), got the IG (or number), or even better (make out or pull). Just keep at it my man, there was a student who is 5’2” that I saw having a steamy makeout with a chick my height (5’8”)! There was this other student in his 50’s (also my height and balding) pulling college girls. He missed the last two days because he was too busy entertaining all the girls he pulled. You too can do this! PM me if you want to talk - anyone else here can as well for that matter.

clopin_trouillefou · 2021-09-15T12:26:33+00:00

I own a vagina and happen to like dick among other things. 5 inches sound great to me. 6 inches is generous and 7 is a bit much and anything bigger is montrous. Vaginas arent made for 9 inches. 4-6.5 is great. 5 is spot on perfect. Its not about your size. Its about whether you make sure everyone is having a good time in bed. If youre insecure find out how to be an enjoyable sex partner. Caring about your partners sexual experience and ensuring they feel comfortable and pleasured; is worth much more than a painfully large dick. 5 inches is perfect to give someone the time of their lives. My fav dildo is 5.5 inches. Ive had a 4.5 inch dick and I was happy with it. I genuinely did enjoy myself. It was all pleasure no pain. And theres more than one way to have sex. It is very shallow of some women (and some men and enbys too) to equate someones worth to their dick size. It shouldnt be that big of a deal. My boobs arent less fun to play with cause they're only a handful and a bit each. Sure you cant titfuck them but there are other ways of enjoying them. You arent worthless my friend. People are just assholes on a shitty bandwagon. Keep your chin up. Go forth and bring people orgasmic bliss. Sorry if this was just TMI and completely unhelpful but nonetheless I wish you the best

Kevin3362 · 2021-09-14T19:56:23+00:00

Ask her if she wants to see it grow ;) 🐅

Snapsovich · 2021-09-14T20:28:28+00:00

There are a few things you can control about this,

Learn some killer techniques (closing her legs will make you feel bigger to her), read about different positions and transitions, learn to be funny and witty, work out so you have stamina, don’t watch porn as people have mentioned, and remember it’s just as much about you having a good experience as it is about her.

Anyway some women prefer smaller dicks especially if they have a shallow vag, bigger dicks can hurt some women.

Just focus on what u can change, n don’t forget she didn’t know your dick size before she got naked with u, so it’s not a qualifier anyway or she would have asked to measure it already.

Oh and do you know all women have one breast slightly smaller than the other, so it’s not like she’s perfect either lol

john2787432 · 2021-09-14T21:37:22+00:00

I dont really think you have to be worried that much but you could try doing some jelqing. You could also try phallosan forte or bathmate hydromax but they are expensive devices

rovch · 2021-09-14T21:55:04+00:00

That’s the only dick you’ve got. Whip that motherfucker out like it’s the greatest dick of all time.

Banhammer40000 · 2021-09-15T00:06:23+00:00

I always knock out out of the park at the job interview. It’s when I start working on the job, that’s when the disappointment starts.

You got them in bed, so some parts of your game is working. I would say put a lot of emphasis on foreplay, manual & oral stimulation, etc. Get them off before you hop on for your two pumps and you’re spent.

Nobody’s dick is gonna be bigger than your arm if that’s what it takes.

It’s not about the size of the equipment but the joy and connection you share with another person.

Just my 2 cents

MacAttack3289 · 2021-09-15T00:34:41+00:00

Let’s take a look at what women find most attractive in a man: 1) confidence 2) status (money, fame/popularity) 3) looks 4) sexual performance

I’m about 5.5 in, and have had issues with premature ejaculation. In all honesty, not all of the women that I’ve slept with have had a good time. But I’ve also been the best lay of several women, including my current main. I firmly believe that if I didn’t have such bad anxiety around my size, I wouldn’t have the premature ejaculation issues, and I would have been able to satisfy more of my lays. I’ve also made several lifestyle changes that have the premature ejaculation basically nonexistent.

Regardless of any of this, the only thing that they truly give a fuck about, and what is going to get you the furthest in life is the confidence. I’m really focusing on accepting myself as I am, because if I get there nothing that any woman, or anybody else for that matter, thinks about me actually matters. That’s where performance comes from.

Side note: I usually jump to conclusions about what people are thinking about me, 99.9% of the things that we think mom and I are thinking about us are all in our heads.

Rheastar · 2021-09-15T00:53:50+00:00

I mean 5” is about average? It’s not small. Honestly some of the best sex I’ve ever had was with a partner who was 4”. It matters more the sexual connection you have and showing your partner a good time.

Murdochsk · 2021-09-15T01:13:38+00:00

As a guy with a larger one it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve had relationships fail because it’s not great when she is hurting having sex or I can’t enjoy sex because i can’t just switch off and not worry about going to deep etc.

Enjoy what you have and do the best you can with it, no matter what you got you’ll find reasons to hate yourself. No one is happy with all the comparisons we get pushed at us online or in the media every day.

For starters your dick sounds like a decent size. Second she’s had smaller and bigger than all of us and probably one that she enjoyed more just like us and sex with other women.

Stop comparing to others and make yourself the best you you can be.

Mad-Draper · 2021-09-15T02:17:26+00:00

No matter your dick size, you’ll always wish it were bigger. That’s just part of being a guy.

I’m on the much larger side and I still wish it were bigger.

warsawm249 · 2021-09-15T03:05:42+00:00

Laughs in Asian Size. Dude, we can't do anything about what's given to us. Don't let something you can't control take you down. If a girl doesn't like junior then she's not for you. You will find someone who will love all of you and both of you will be happy.

Adjustedwell · 2021-09-15T03:44:19+00:00

First question: do you watch porn? If so, stop now. it probably can't be good watching that stuff and then doing a comparison.

Also they use angles, different lenses and penis pumps prior to their scenes so it's not a fair comparison either.

I'd recommend making sex a full body experience for her and not just a "penis in vagina" style thing. I've heard women speak negatively about their experience with guys with big dick who sucked in bed because they were lazy, unenthused or expected the girl to just please them while they sat there.

Also, its not like women crave massive guys outside of porn, it sounds like a cool thing to try for women, but I've heard many dislike it, and a lot of them just don't know what the real life size of the corresponding measurement means.

Also, take a look at your other lifestyle choices and see if you could make any improvements to your situation, but at the end of the day don't focus on that, focus on the performance and the rest won't matter..

If nothing else you can try jeqling. Although I would read up on the risks and do it very mildly to start because a working 5" is better than a non-functioning Long one.

2021-09-15T04:04:48+00:00

I got a big dick, and for a long time it still didn't help my confidence. 6" girth and order condoms from overseas (Pasante Super King, Mysize 69mm).

I'm still not as confident as I should be, and I'm in great shape, good looking, with a big dick.

CheekyBurgerr · 2021-09-15T06:56:41+00:00

You have the average for entire population, any girl you get with cannot do better than this unless they go fuck anybody to find the size bigger than that

myster7600 · 2021-09-15T06:56:44+00:00

You’re average man. Just focus on getting better and communicating each other’s wants. Everyone will like something different in the bedroom.

Stujitsu2 · 2021-09-15T07:41:56+00:00

I have a Russian friend. He is pretty good with women and open about having a small cock. He say I have a small cock but golden fingers. Owning it is step one.

Nofapdeity · 2021-09-15T12:46:03+00:00

5 is average dude, no girl is gonna complain.

If anything us average guys have it the best.

ghostjava · 2021-09-15T13:11:43+00:00

After 10 years of marriage, I will never forget the first time my husband jokingly mentioned the "small" size of his penis. I've always been a very high libido woman but never once had I thought about his size. His penis had always fit me like a glove and I loved it in every way I could. However, something changed after that conversation because I suddenly started really noticing his size. I started focusing on how it fit inside me. Did it feel right to me? Was there something wrong? When we'd watch porn together, I suddenly focused on the size of the men in the video. I used to get turned on by watching porn because, well, porn. But suddenly, I was looking at the size of men as if I were shopping for a new pair of comfortable fitting shoes. I wondered about what they might feel like inside me and if they were more my size?

Today, I still enjoy great and frequent sex with him. However, his insecurity became my insecurity in the same way a person suffers secondary embarrassment. I try to not think about his size but it often comes to mind during sex especially when I can sense he is feeling insecure. I just wish it didn't come to mind because he feels just right to me and I love it.

CheshireMcat · 2021-09-19T16:08:22+00:00

Aight bro look real shit i said to a chick who claimed i was to small and havent thought about my size since "it wasnt to small when i wanted to do anal so what changed now."

dirtyhippie62 · 2021-09-14T23:51:04+00:00

5 is perfectly average. You can do a lot with 5, you can do everything that needs to be done, you’re all set.

This is all mental, friend. You care about it more than is healthy for you. Caring about it that much isn’t making a happy or healthy sex life for yourself. If you detach yourself from the emotionally-charged ideas society posits about dick stuff, you’ll be way happier.

I know it’s way easier said than done. It’s a process of psychological growth that can take a few years to settle into solidly. But it’ll get so much better when you’re no longer emotionally attached to those hierarchical ideas.

wtasman · 2021-09-14T16:33:19+00:00

I have a huge cock.

How does that help me?

Am I just supposed to casually bring it up in conversation, or maybe just use that as my opener?

The last 3 times I got my dick out in front of a girl they decided it was too big to fit.

I can absolutely see how mentally you could see your small penis and be concerned. I guess I just wanted to say that being big doesn’t necessarily give you magical powers.

countsunny · 2021-09-14T18:05:32+00:00

If you can't change it, don't disturb yourself by constantly thinking about it.

Paltenburg · 2021-09-14T14:32:04+00:00

I feel like the male genital is deeply rooted in our society's culture.

They're just jokes, really. In reality, women don't care as much. Most don't even come from the penetration anyway, regardless of size, but from fingers or tongue. So be creative in the bedroom and don't forget to have fun!

bodi4eg5 · 2021-09-14T15:52:45+00:00

Stop complaining and try r/Ajelqforyou

Leather_Brilliant_88 · 2021-09-14T16:30:56+00:00

You should go to r/askwomen or r/askwomenadvice and see the thousands of post of men asking if women care about dick sizes. Spoiler alert - an overwhelming majority of women say they do not care unless it is really small (maybe under 4 inches?) because size is not everything, they care more about what the guy is able to do with it…. What about girth? a lot of women say its more important to them than length

paddywacknack · 2021-09-14T15:46:59+00:00

I know a guy who runs a modeling agency and regularly sleeps with multiple gorgeous women.

Hes fairly overweight and has the same dick size as you.

I promise you dick size doesnt matter as much as you think.

Reasonable-World-426 · 2021-09-14T14:53:46+00:00

https://www.google.com/amp/s/jezebel.com/men-with-bigger-penises-are-more-likely-to-get-cheated-1568859120/amp According to this article women cheat on dudes who are packing, rejoice - you can go in balls deep and have a closer connection. I once read that men with smaller penises attract more women - they didn’t need to evolve bigger ones cuz they were getting it, on the other hand if it was longer it prolly meant you were getting sloppy seconds and needed to deposit further down if that makes sense.

akshayapps · 2021-09-15T17:32:06+00:00

I really can't help you here. I was just being me. a bit of goofy. Made her dinner. Cuddled with her and always replied to her when I got her message

darthgayjk · 2021-09-14T14:48:38+00:00

If it hasn't already been said the average size is 5.16 inches. And the statistically ideal size for women is 6.3 inches. Dont let it crush your self esteem you are normal. If you cant get over it, here is a good video on safe PE.

https://youtu.be/XyI_BJ6PUaU

DaddyComstock · 2021-09-14T15:15:52+00:00

Someone said learn to eat pussy and I cannot stress that enough. 5 inches is perfectly fine. Depending on the girl more inches could even hurt. But If you learn to foreplay women will love you. You eat pussy real good and the rest of the night will be much much easier for both of you. Don’t focus on what you cannot change. Focus on what you can change! 😄

AnnoKano · 2021-09-14T16:41:21+00:00

Since everyone already told you that's average, I will add that you shouldnt be tempted to exaggerate your size because insecurity is less attractive than your penis size.

You may even want to consider joking around that it's tiny. Women might find such confidence refreshing, and when they find out you are actually average, you may exceed their expectations.

kingslayer-x_x · 2021-09-14T17:57:08+00:00

Girls make themselves cum with their fingers. So you’re bigger than that. I was hung up on my size for sometime as well, afterwards I realized that I couldn’t change my size so I was gonna rock it and love it. It’s the same as breast size for girls, if you’re an A cup then that’s what you got(not counting breast enlargement). I myself am 5.7 or 5.8, got over my size and life is beautiful. You good bruv improve on everything you can and stop worrying about things you can’t.

2021-09-14T19:12:46+00:00

I had this same issue in college I was super insecure I'm just around 5" too but then you realize that there's more to sex than just the size and there are many other ways you can get a girl off. After a few encounters although no one has complimented me on my ***** i get complimented on the motion of the ocean

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-09-14T13:31:48+00:00

You're average size. It's fine.

Just know how to use it and you'll be alright. I'm 6" and I make women cum like it's my job.

LordPrettyMax · 2021-09-14T17:12:28+00:00

Try losing some weight

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-09-14T16:24:08+00:00

That's perfectly average, so quit worrying.
Even if it was a problem, you can't change it, so you still need to quit worrying about it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

Shadow__Account · 2021-09-14T17:04:08+00:00

Dick size, height, looks, social status, friends. We all have something that we are not happy about and have to deal with and for each of these things there are people with the same issues that live with it without issues. Like people said 5 inches is apparently average so it’s not like you are some weird freak anomaly or anything. There’s millions of guys having the same insecurity but about things you have no issues with.

KrAzyDrummer · 2021-09-14T17:57:22+00:00

You have fingers and a tongue. Learn how to use them.

bonebrithchugger · 2021-09-14T18:17:27+00:00

You're facing a larger battle of the world's harsh judgment of mankind. Whether it's faster stronger, smarter, or in this case bigger, it's hard knowing that there are people who cannot do you. There's a healthy place at the end of the journey, but it's too much to fit here.

In the meantime, do whatever you have to to master sexual skills, the athleticism, endurance, technique etc. As much as most guys complain about women complaining about them, the fact is less than 10% of the population ever thinks about this actively, so a few weeks practice and thought will put you ahead of the game. Speaking from experience.

Dr_mombie · 2021-09-15T02:01:29+00:00

Best sex I ever had was with a guy who was about that size. He made up for it with foreplay and was damn good at oral/handiwork. Being kinky and setting the mood really took it to the next level.

His method went something like this:

Iisten to what she likes and doesn't like, plan ahead. Set the mood, do a lot of foreplay, and learn to read her body signals, then by the time you penetrate her, she should be begging for it.

SteveJobsIdiotCousin · 2021-09-14T23:16:49+00:00

Take performance out of the equation. Go to Roman.com or similar and get prescribed sidelnafil (generic viagra) over the internet and have them ship it to you. Take some before sex. Not only will you get hard no matter how nervous you get, but you’ll be at full mast AKA as long as you can possibly be. It’s like steroids for boners. Not physically addictive either.

You can thank me for the life hack later, after you get more pussy

Jimbobbly123 · 2021-09-14T19:15:50+00:00

Speaking from experience, the dick is all show anyway. She won't care if you have a good toy to work her clit or you do foreplay. It's fine to use dildos if she wants size too. People forget that the dick is designed for reproduction, not sexual pleasure for women.

Hanmura · 2021-09-14T16:35:05+00:00

think of it this way,

you see lots of girls who don’t have the biggest/nicest ass or tits but you’ll still fuck them anyways. you would rather fuck a girl with a hot face and average sized ass/tits instead of a girl with an ugly face and a fat ass (might have a fat ass because they are just fat lol)

just my opinion, we all have different tastes

bbchad · 2021-09-14T17:24:30+00:00

My best friend is also small down there, he was insecure af about that for a long time. But now he keeps slayin em bitches. It’s not about the size, it’s how you use it and how hot the rest of your body is.

boneygoat · 2021-09-14T17:38:55+00:00

Pretty standard issue dick bro. Do you enjoy having sex? Does it feel good? Do you enjoy connecting with someone? Do you enjoy being venerable and raw with another? These are far more important things to focus on rather than if your dick would look bigger through a fish eye lense.

Charge36 · 2021-09-14T19:09:39+00:00

Honestly 5 inches is about average. Best course is to stop caring about your dick size. You can't do anything about it and feeling shitty about it isn't helping you. Just keep telling yourself it doesn't matter until you believe it. Because it really actually doesn't matter.

Harucifer · 2021-09-14T19:15:59+00:00

Most just become gym rats.

Theclozer54 · 2021-09-14T20:07:41+00:00

Slightly over 5...been with over 50 women..om 57....you do you

the-original-chad · 2021-09-14T21:23:58+00:00

Bro, you need to fuck more girls. You’ll realize that they don’t really give a fuck that much about it. If you think about it, guys with big dick are getting broken up from relationships all the time. You’ve slept with 2 girls. That’s a small sample size. So sleep around. Girls don’t give a fuck, plus they only cum through their clit. They care more about that than your dick

2021-09-14T21:24:26+00:00

Most people lie and add 1-2 inches, trust me G

namenyhh · 2021-09-14T21:34:08+00:00

conr716 · 2021-09-14T21:52:30+00:00

I think you have to look at it as something in control. Can you magically extend yourself or any other body part? No. Or all the people complaining about their height would of done something. If you’re 5 inches(which is completely average) then you have to learn how to own it. It’s either you own it and be confident about it or you let it put you through the ringer of insecurities, don’t take the ladder, women will find you very attractive if it’s something you own and don’t worry about. Then to them those 5 inches will be some of the best 5 inches of their life.

Edit: grammar

MeaningMoney · 2021-09-14T23:39:21+00:00

U spend too much time thinking about ur dick bro

notsoslootyman · 2021-09-15T02:51:24+00:00

Truthfully, huge size doesn't matter to many women. Yes there are size queens but that's not every woman. There are women that prefer smaller than you even. You're average so find a girl that likes average. Also, when in doubt, you have fingers, a tongue, large toys, and even a fist if she's into it.

EbonyProgrammer · 2021-09-14T18:26:45+00:00

My dick size is about 7inches and even I feel small about it when I watch porn. But if the girl youre with is worth her weight, shed make you feel like Goliath even when you have more in common with David.

Don't get me wrong dick size matters, but at 5inches, what matters more is the person the dick is attached to for most girls. During sex the same way you want her to feel in that instant, that she's the only person you want, she should want to make you feel like you're the only thing person wants. Regardless of dick size.

EleoraHC · 2021-09-14T21:37:03+00:00

This is my piece of advice ok? Up to you..

So when you have a exam, school, driving license, romantic date etc. Don't tell anyone you're doing it. Keep your efforts and your attempt a secret. That way you're not building any pressure on yourself to please anyone with the results.

Does it mske sense?

This is how you "stop giving fucks" about how other people think of you. As you grow confident you will start to see more self worth and can deal with more pressure if you need to

Hot-Construction-811 · 2021-09-14T17:18:50+00:00

ffs. If you are not r/smalldickproblems then I shouldn't worry about it.

Amsloco · 2021-09-14T18:07:50+00:00

If your penis is long enough to hit the floor of her vagina, you unlock a level of attachment you may not want. Then she becomes “dickmatized” and terrorizes your life at every aspect. Basically count your blessings !

theprufeshanul · 2021-09-14T18:17:23+00:00

Just work out do some squats, hip thrusts and push-ups every day, day after day after day. and then when you fuck, fuck her like a machine. It’s about your attitude not your dick size otherwise women would just use cucumbers rather than other with men.

decapitate_the_rich · 2021-09-14T18:52:57+00:00

I have an ex that I'm still close to who tells me about her bf who apparently has a micropenis thing going on, what she describes seems much smaller than what you describe, which as others are telling you is still in the normal/average range. She's always put a high priority on sex, but her problem with him isn't even size, but that he doesn't even try to please her. She talks about it a lot, because her needs are not being fulfilled, they haven't been sexually active in years and its likely because of his own insecurity (I take care of her when I go back to visit).

I think you are making a bigger deal about it than most women will. Yeah there are some size queens out there, but overall women aren't going to give a shit. I say this as someone who is also "painfully average" (lol), no one has ever complained and most come back for more (I am in my 40s and have had 30+ partners).

I think your insecurity about it is going to hurt you more than anything, I suggest you get over it ASAP.

2021-09-14T20:51:09+00:00

Search up micropenis

julz007 · 2021-09-14T20:55:54+00:00

I'm a hotwife. My husband's cock is big, but few of my bfs are smaller and I totally don't mind at all! 5 is plenty to have fun with for her! Confidence is the biggest deal! Go into it as you're a sex God and make her feel amazing, she will beg for more :)

424242generation · 2021-09-15T01:30:49+00:00

Im 6'1 ft tall and about 210 naturally athletic, and white, well, my grandfather is from Middle East so not normal white, so inevitably im above average size everywhere. It's not everything but I can tell u it does matter. I don't get laid too often, who cares, but when I do I listen to her body and make sure she loves it. I guess I like knowing no matter who she's with emotionally or physically, most likely I'm more pleasurable than any of them. but sex isn't as enjoyable for me because I sacrifice for her. If you're looking to get laid dont worry if ur pants r off u will still fuck her.

Fufflewaffle · 2021-09-14T16:37:06+00:00

You're projecting. You think your size isn't good enough but there probably aren't many women on earth who really care about that, other than depraved porn addicts and slags.

Would you turn a girl down because her chest wasn't a decent size or because her bosom wasn't ample for childbirth? I hope not. If you would, then you probably deserve to feel this anxiety and its something you should work out for yourself.

But yeah. I'm 5.6 inches hard and cut and while I have never had one night stands or flings, I can have my girlfriend squealing like a kitty cat if I've got the energy and am in a sexy psychological state.

Basically, this seems to be internal stuff that you will ultimately need to reflect on alone. As others have said, stop watching porn. Definitely lift and do some cardio. Spend an hour or two at the gym and then see how sexually empowered you can make yourself seem, to yourself. "Yeah baby, 5 inches is a big enough blade to deliver you to kingdom come". We're all Kings with the power to please.

Aggressive_Ad_3790 · 2021-09-14T17:38:01+00:00

Stop overthinking and go for it. Or go for asian girl?

jabberslythe_lover · 2021-09-14T13:07:36+00:00

This has to be a fucking troll post...

Gulmanas · 2021-09-14T14:57:13+00:00

everyone has strengths and weaknesses. 5 inch is not terrible but in order to boost your confidence (this is actually related to everything in life) focus on the things you can improve. learn techniques to last longer, learn about the female body, focus on foreplay (this is for everyone including sex gods) and workout to get better body shape, stamina, and strength.

dick is the last thing that girls get to experience during flirting so play your cards good before that point so the overall experience would be good.

also again 5 inch is not terrible you can make it work. it is not in the problematic size range

converter-bot · 2021-09-14T15:14:59+00:00

5 inches is average, my guy. So some of those people you've seen bragging are probably liars. The girls haven't complained, so it's clearly not an issue. Stop stressing!

OmegaClifton · 2021-09-14T16:28:57+00:00

My guy, it's average and there are quite a few women who would be fine with it, if not prefer it. Most will care more about how they feel around you, the guy attached to the dick.

LunacyBin · 2021-09-14T16:59:23+00:00

https://youtu.be/8IkNDzvCswU

lastepoch · 2021-09-14T17:16:35+00:00

Just enthusiastically aim for the sides dude, you'll be great!

krispykreme01 · 2021-09-14T17:38:39+00:00

Agion method search the subreddit it might not come out tho

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-09-14T18:10:23+00:00

You are average. Here is the official medical study discussion. It also discusses studies that show most men overestimate the average and think they are smaller than average. I hope this helps you to see that you are just fine and to stop worrying about this.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32666897/

bibirb · 2021-09-14T18:41:01+00:00

It really doesn't matter, don't worry. Nobody is gonna laugh at you or judge you or anything. As insensitive as this may sound, nobody cares more about a dick size than its owner.

c2kink · 2021-09-14T18:54:01+00:00

Sex is way more then PIV, it’s about many things like a connection, kissing, touching etc. learn to play, relax and try new things together.

poetic_vibrations · 2021-09-14T19:32:24+00:00

Turn bisexual, go on Grindr and meet up with like 10 random dudes. That's the easiest way to get over this thought process lmao. Dicks are rarely over 6 inches.

Alonso81687 · 2021-09-14T19:40:27+00:00

My guy, I'm 5.5 and have fucked skinny chicks and chicks with big ol' butts. Yes, there are size queens(I've dealt with two in my life) yes, it sucks getting told "that's it" but most girls I've been with didn't care and that is because I always put their pleasure ahead of mine. Being unselfish in bed is a huge plus for women. Go in with confidence and you'll win more often than not.

skaag · 2021-09-14T19:48:43+00:00

It’s still longer than most women’s fingers. And probably thicker too.

itachiman95 · 2021-09-14T20:00:55+00:00

Like others have said a lot of guys are average so you’re not alone, i’m average and i got a fupa with ED, so i got good with my other things, hands and tongue

2021-09-14T22:33:22+00:00

Hey man, thanks for making this post, I was falling into this same mindset and it’s a toxic one, you’re not alone in this dude.

If you have friends that only care about dick size then maybe hang with others that don’t. I always hate it when I tick all the boxes but this one and being tall lol either way you shoot your shot and sometimes you’ll be surprised, but always be ready for rejection, and just move on to the next babe that tickles your fancy, that’ll exude more confidence than staying stuck on a girl that pays you no mind.

the-me-an · 2021-09-14T22:38:00+00:00

We have to decentralize sex from our dicks. Sex is so much more than that both when it is a casual encounter and even more so when it is an intimate relationship. Size doesn't matter and never will to have a great time in bed, and whoever says it does, doesn't know how to have good sex (if it's a man) or never has had a partner that knows how to have great sex (if it's a gal), which is sad for both cases. Stay confident that whatever you have is enough and practice every little aspect of the experience and you shall be ok.

No_Conflict_3993 · 2021-09-14T22:52:39+00:00

Next time measure it from the balls to the tip of the underside of the dick. U will probably get an extra inch so it's 6 inches.

2021-09-14T23:26:48+00:00

Coitial alignment technique

End of story.

Gregory-76 · 2021-09-14T23:29:53+00:00

I’m just about the same size.

PmMeYourNiceBehind · 2021-09-14T23:56:43+00:00

Bro 5 inches is not small relax and stop watching porn

wooshoofoo · 2021-09-15T00:04:49+00:00

Ask the girls if they matter. If you can’t trust what they say, you need to go see a therapist about your inability to trust people.

I’ve always heard that guys with small ducks end up being fantastic lovers (the ones that don’t become bitter and withdrawn) because they know that they actually have to put in work. Which is exactly how you should think about pleasure- you have to put in the work.

Unless you’re stuck on a girl who is a size queen (in which case it’s hopeless and you should let her go, plenty of fish in the sea), most women I know don’t really care about your small dick, they care about the attitude that you have.

It’s a little like fat girls, not everyone is into it and the media projects thinness as ideal, but a confident bbw is wayyyyyy sexier than neurotic skinny model who is no fun in bed.

DonJuan_69 · 2021-09-15T00:19:33+00:00

My size is 5.5inches which is considered average. Sometimes i get insecure but it could be worse. Haha so i am grateful

keytarna · 2021-09-15T00:23:33+00:00

Honestly man 5 inches is really nothing to lose confidence over. The average dick size is like 5.2 inches if I remember right, and that 0.2 inch different is barely perceivable. As someone else said, most guys are in your boat, and women really aren’t crazy about big dicks like porn/movies make it seem. In reality, anything over like 6.5-7 inches is just painful for women. 5 inches is a comfortable but good size, and certainly long enough to hit the G spot if you’re worried about that.

Letting your insecurity about your dick size affect your confidence is self-defeating and paradoxical. After all, the less confident you are, the harder you’ll find it is to talk to women, and so the less sex you’ll get. And if that’s happening, you may as well have a 0 inch dick, cuz no woman’s gonna see it. Stop letting your cock cock block you.

thatp · 2021-09-15T00:42:20+00:00

5 incher here. first of all, there's a lot of other factors that come into play before a girl wants to sleep with you. So once you've made it that far, you're pretty much in the clear!

Now as for when the girl actually sees your dick, I get how that can mess with your head. I used to be pretty insecure about my dick size as well, but I've found that the focus from the size is taken away when I make my partner come. This may sound cringey and be a bit too graphic, but I got really good at giving cunnilingus. And for some reason, giving someone else head usually got (or kept) me hard, because it allowed me to get out of my head (pun intended).

Tldr; lots of other factors matter to even get to have sex. got good at giving head, which took away the focus from my dick, and put less pressure on both me and the girl. And both my partner and I always left satisfied. I hope this helps.

Nathanyang29 · 2021-09-15T01:31:33+00:00

Get really good with your tongue and fingers. There are lots of tutorials online. I've heard that good-quality foreplay for the girl before sex can make your penis feel larger than it really is (on her end).

Weary-Experience-149 · 2021-09-15T01:40:39+00:00

There's two main things I can suggest regarding about your junk problem.

1) Quit porn. Use your imagination instead of just watching the action on a screen. Your dopamine levels are out of wack because of your porn habits.

2) Do kegel exercises. There's some really good videos on YouTube you can watch were they explain what those exercises are and the benefits of doing them.

3) Don't rush when you're doing it with your SO. Try some type of conversation and foreplay before and after. Realistically speaking the average sex act last around 15 minutes, so conversation, foreplay, and pillow talk is a great way to be more intimate and enjoy sex more.

Good luck, and let us know what kind of progress you're making in a couple of months.

Ok_Lettuce_484 · 2021-09-15T02:43:59+00:00

Guys with smaller dicks have a better chance of stimulating the g-spot. Throw her legs over your shoulders with her hips raised and go to town.

Joker-Palazzo · 2021-09-15T03:26:57+00:00

I'm 5.5 inches and even I think it's small.

WaWaWunky · 2021-09-15T04:10:07+00:00

Confidence in your love making game goes a lot further than what you carry. Pay attention, take your time, and push 5 like is 15. You’ll be okay, Brotha.

King8Kaista · 2021-09-15T04:54:50+00:00

I around five too bro. It’s average, although average size isn’t impressive either.

FlatDistance5 · 2021-09-15T05:07:47+00:00

Ever consider pe? Not surgical but pumps and stretching

rundatbul · 2021-09-15T05:36:24+00:00

One thing I've learned in my 35 years of life on this Earth is dick size does NOT matter. Core strength does, however. As long as you can stroke like a diesel engine and give that ass a good thrashing, you're good. Besides, most women will avoid "mandingo" like the plague. Hurts too much.

wagsyman · 2021-09-15T06:00:10+00:00

5 inches is average.. you know what that means? You are larger than like 50% of men. You're fine.

HunkSeven · 2021-09-15T08:13:58+00:00

Dude I'm something more than you but still, I suffered because of my size. What I want you to understand is that the goal is to make her cum. Yes we can't do fancy positions but usually they aren't much stimulating for her. Also think about that you can manage to make her cum with your finger or even tongue, how can they be a match for a 13 cm dick? You have to get skilled at being a good lover, skilled in understanding what she likes and the pace she likes. The question isn't if my dick long enough, because it definitely is.

pua6384 · 2021-09-15T08:45:38+00:00

5 inches, bone pressed or non bone pressed?

The fact you didn’t specify tells me it’s NBP, which means you’re likely bigger than you think.

BuffRickDD7 · 2021-09-15T08:45:57+00:00

Hi dude if ur on the larger side or somewhere btw u can gain half to inch by losing fat overall plus theres this guy on tiktok goes by Dick Doc on TikTok Dr Zimmerman check him he gives good pointers to guys with avg size

Key_Occasion4981 · 2021-09-15T08:52:24+00:00

By not trying to compensate the size by adding in your personality

spicy_simba · 2021-09-15T10:05:17+00:00

Hey there buddy,

Look at from this angle,

the low self esteem state you are in now is like tinted glasses, the human mind is geared to keep status quo and to find narratives. One top shelf narrative is about being broken somewhere, and a very common trap is comparison, for a lot of guys we find ourselves comparing to folklore, Hollywood, pornhub and other guys stories.

While this tendency is self destructive, it serves a purpose for our human mind, to keep the narrative stable by finding a culprit or a point of blame and shame and thus maintains the status quo.

To get out free of this mind prison, what worked for me, is to learn to do things without the emotional check !

See when one has tinted glasses, their emotional energy meter is tilted very heavily, its like being on a boat or airplane and the fuel gauge says it's empty.

It's time to become a scientist in ones own laboratory and investigate how accurate are these meter and gauges.

Instead of asking "how do I feel about doing this", which was always answered by a "naaa not today" I started to say "let me do it and see how it feels"

This shift allowed me to get out of my mind prison and do things I was not feeling like doing but that were great and challenging, and slowly I built my confidence in myself back !

The road is full of traps but it's beautiful journey,

Cheers on your journey, and during that journey your glasses will be less tinted, you will even feel you have a big penis, cuz in the end what matters is how we feel about yourselves, not really the physical metrics, people with all sizes suffer from not feeling enough, most cases chances are it's not a size issue, it's much deeper down the rabbit hole

mystylejay · 2021-09-15T17:37:12+00:00

In the wondeful city I live in, there is a nice saying.

"small and playful"

It's about everything,not just the dick.

Small car? Small and playful Small dick? small and playful Small dog? Small and playful Small lollipo? Smal and playful

etc

etc etc Change your narrative boy.

if I were 40cm long I would not be here replying you;-)

neilmurc · 2021-09-15T18:07:54+00:00

5 inch is average. And if you need some kick up the arse, Search Russell Brand and see his schlong. Dude's got a 5 incher and he has more game than most people on the Earth. Honestly, the guy truly proves that size doesn't matter...

topleveldating · 2021-10-16T16:21:41+00:00

Try understanding most of a women arousal is done mentally. Us men its done physically. Learn how to turn women on with dirty talk and role playing. THEY LOVE IT. Eat their pussy, kiss them slowly along their nipples and breath in their ear softly all while talking dirty. Learn that all that matters is she cum. You can achieve this mainly through the mental like i've mentioned. Once you out your dick inside her she'll cum easier and quicker. She'll never even think about your size.

Title	How to be confident when dick size crushes self-esteem?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	357
Comments	228
Date	September 14, 2021 12:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/po28ks/how_to_be_confident_when_dick_size_crushes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-confident-when-dick-size-crushes-self.1276130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276130

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