Nice guys should accept being alone

RycerzKwarcowy · 2026-05-06T14:29:26+00:00

What if they refuse to withdraw quietly and embrace being alone but continue complaining? You'll have to embrace and endure this constant noise. It is what it is, isn't it?

YikBus · 2026-05-06T15:08:07+00:00

The only realistic piece here is that being nice does nothing to attract women. That’s it.

Men are not refusing to “seduce”. There is no course to learn how to seduce. Well you can buy the bullshit scam course from the latest red pill podcaster for those who actually believe this is a learnable skill but we’re talking about legitimate learning.

Seduction is not something you decide to embrace or change. It’s not a decision or else all guys would choose to seduce any woman they want.

BanDeezNutzPlease · 2026-05-06T16:50:45+00:00

Nice guys didn't used to have to accept being alone. Now apparently they do. Which means that a lot of women will also have to accept being alone. Not so much in the younger age ranges, but in the older age ranges. And that's backed up by stats. That's probably also part of the reason why birth rates are tanking in the West.

OP's advice on how to get women is mostly BS. Its a bunch of vague jibber jabber with nothing concrete. Sounds like the mumbo jumbo that a lot of politricksters talk.

The main problem with women is gaining access. A lot of women are hostile or not open to approaches online or irl. They won't respond to messages online and are hostile irl.

One solution is for "nice guys" who live in rich 1st world countries to take advantage of their economic privilege, save up money, get passports and travel to poorer countries to leverage their economic advantage. In that way they're more likely to meet women who are more receptive to them. The women overseas may be more friendly cause they think you have money, but 1st world women are the same way. Only difference is they expect more money for the same pussy and probably have worse and more entitled attitudes after 40 years of being told that they were special for just existing with a vagina, and that doing anything for a man or just not being aggressively obnoxious and insufferable 24/7 is patriarchal oppression.

And if a guy can't find a wife he can just bang cheap(er) prostitutes overseas.

Some foreign countries also have better demographics in terms of women- younger populations, more young women, less out of shape women, less self-mutilated plastic surgerized weird looking unnatural bodies. less women on all kinds of funny pharma cartel mafia drugs.

I'm not saying guys have to go overseas to get women. I'm just using that as an example of a concrete action that can result in getting pussy. As opposed to vague advise like "exude confidence" or "create sexual tension".

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-05-06T14:29:46+00:00

This is why individual-level stuff is less interesting to me, at least online. You need a lot of context. It all depends on many things. And in the end, the advice is basically the same: improve or accept your results, but please STFU. No systemic changes are likely to happen on a timeline that will help you out personally. If things are unfair, then they are unfair. Deal with it.

But the bigger picture stuff is interesting. Guys who feel society is unfair to men have a right to talk about it, maybe even a duty. Just don't whine of think that this is gonna help you out personally.

TranscanadianAnger · 2026-05-06T15:24:01+00:00

What you call "seduction" is pretty much just good ol' ill faith manipulation for guys, ie. being someone they are not/betray their true nature

These so called nice guys were just lied to about what women want, while in fact they already were set up to fail simply because they are not attractive enough, so your "they don't want to embrace change" to them simply meant "why aren't you born tall and attractive?". They don't change because they physically can't outside of physically endangering surgeries

So if these nice guys want to get dates, they essentially need to enshittify themselves to be assholes, as manipulation is required to have a chance to get girls to "like" them, meanwhile attractive men can walk over girls and trash them however he wished and they will still stick to him like glue, even if he is an abuser. Occasionally, she will give the abusive chad children to abuse in addition to herself

Sucks, isn't it? Nice guys not getting dates can just simply boil down to "they don't want to by filthy manipulators and force themselves on others through coercion"

MarioWilson122 · 2026-05-06T19:10:59+00:00

The framing of sexual access as a “privilege” is just a convenient way to dodge accountability for a broken market. You are treating attraction like a one-sided audition where men have to perform, while the other side is exempt from any real standards at all. If “being nice” was the gold standard women claimed to want, we wouldn’t have an entire generation of men who followed those exact instructions only to get sidelined.

This isn’t about men being afraid to change. It is a refusal to participate in a bait-and-switch. You cannot tell men for years that character and stability are the keys to the door, then mock them for not being “seductive” enough when they actually show up. That is moving the goalposts mid-game. When you tell these men to “just be alone,” you are admitting the original advice was just a lie to keep men harmless and useful.

The complaints about “modern women” are not just whining. They are a rational response to the imbalance. Men are pointing out that their bar has been raised to “master of seduction,” while the other side’s bar has been lowered to “just exist.” If the entry fee for a relationship is now some high-level psychological performance, the value proposition for the average man is dead.

Telling men to exit the market is a silly way to dodge the fact that the market is failing. You are demanding men become high-level performers just to access a dynamic that is increasingly volatile and low-reward. If your only “solution” for men who were lied to is permanent isolation, you aren’t fixing anything. You are just protecting a double standard.

Last_Serve_3706 · 2026-05-06T15:23:42+00:00

6ft 6Figures 6Inches > being nice

TheKindlyPoltergeist · 2026-05-06T16:18:41+00:00

You have to have something to offer if you want to date but what you offer is based on your personality and what you personally value in life. I offer my girlfriend a guy who will work hard to provide for my family, is reasonably smart and educated, can cook well and is independent, and has the ability to be empathetic and have adult social skills. I offer that I'm a solid low drama partner that would be awesome to start a family with. My girlfriend appreciates that.

Sidian · 2026-05-06T18:59:28+00:00

Getting sexual access to someone is a privilege,

I'm glad you framed it this way. Because yes, exactly - and you know who has a dramatically easier time getting sexual access, and who is never told they have to do x y z to be better and prove their worth? Women. They have this privilege; they are the privileged gender that never has to work for anything.

Blackpilled men have accepted being alone, that's the point of it, they don't think there's any hope.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2026-05-06T14:05:39+00:00

Reposting what I wrote the last time this came up:

I think there is something of a misunderstanding of NiceGuy-ism. The usual strawman is of course that the 'Entitled Nice Guy (TM)' who pretends to be 'nice' to get in your pants and then becomes hostile and aggressive when that doesn't work out. I am not saying that never happens but it is ultimately a strawman, maybe that exact script takes place one in a million times.

A lot of my female friends are very sex-positive and will actually tell you why they aren't attracted to someone rather than just saying 'no chemistry' or 'the spark wasn't there'. Although I have certain physical traits that are turn offs to some women meaning I am nowhere near 'Chad' (Mainly being South Asian, with a high pitched voice and excessive amounts of body hair, plus I would not be a viable dating option to a 'size queen'), I am (if I do say so myself) reasonably decent looking, in terms of being tall, muscular, full head of hair and (usually) well-dressed and well-groomed. Personally I have never been called a Nice Guy (TM) but I have had women say I was physically attractive but 'too nice' to be considered for dating. No, really.

It's not really about 'bad boys vs nice guys'. A lot of the guys those women did like were were not bad people. And it's not about nice guys being 'meek pushovers' either. In my job (safety management on construction sites) I am often required to go into a work area, and if it is full of hazards stand the works down. And these sites are worked by men (often ex-military, ex-criminals, or both) under immense time pressure. I do have to project a tough, dominant persona for this, and some of the women I've mentioned above are (current and former) female colleagues who have seen me do this.

However, that tough persona is not the 'real me'. The real me is someone who asks about their weekends and their families, coos at cute dogs and cats, does funny accent impressions to make them laugh, and is emotionally available soon after getting to know someone. And a lot of this is things like body language, posture, vocal mannerisms etc too. One woman I worked with says that I 'didn't take up space', in terms of the fact that when she or another person was speaking, I'd sort of 'shrink' myself (as much as is possible for a tall broad-shouldered man) to let them speak and hear them out. She obviously didn't want a large man creepily looming over her, but she likes it when men have a 'strong physical presence'. The fact I have a naturally high pitched voice probably didn't help matters, but it's much more about voice tone. Even I had a very deep voice, my natural tone would be more bubbly and enthusiastic than gruff and authoritarian.

All of the above gets me filed into the 'fun, friendly best friend' category. Those women wanted someone who was 'nice', yes, but was stoic and initially emotionally distant. In many ways I think the whole 'fixing a bad boy' phenomena is a more extreme manifestation of this. The 'challenge' of getting a tough, stoic individual to emotionally open up is still the same. However, these kind of relationships often lead to the now-infamous 'I opened up and she never saw me the same way again' experience, something I've never experienced but is spoken about often here and on other male spaces. I imagine those women thought they wanted the fantasy of getting him to open, up, but it was specifically the emotional wall that they were attracted to.

To be clear I am not saying this is all women or even most women. My GF is not like this and nor are any of the women I have dated. But I'm fortunate enough to have female friends who have had these conversations about what they want and what they're attracted to and be honest about it.

3stun · 2026-05-06T14:31:28+00:00

Getting sexual access to someone is a privilege, if you’re not giving the other gender what they want you’ll just be alone.

The problem is figuring out what the other gender wants, since what they say they want is often not what they really want.

mcmlxiv1 · 2026-05-06T15:26:37+00:00

There are no nice guys just ugly men. I fixed it for you OP.

You think if Chad was nice it wouldn’t add points to how attractive he is? Really? A nice and handsome man?

You guys won’t be alone because eventually those resentful obnoxious cat ladies will want a man to take over what her cats were doing and eat her crusty muffin.

Will she be very unattractive?
Yes.

Will she have a body count the size of a small country?

Yes.
Will she be able to pretend to like you to get you to pay for her kids and be her retirement fund?

Also, yes.

Will you get vag and not be alone?
You guessed it, yes.

Few_Chain2060 · 2026-05-06T17:20:50+00:00

Guys aren't only resentful because of not getting sex and women, a lot of the debate around this topic is reduced to getting laid, we are resentful because despite wanting to be good, virile and honest we know clown society will take advantage of it, abuse it and be ungrateful to it, so we're forced to deny our instincts, of being a provider, a protector, of having purpose, men care more about giving than taking. I honestly share the same ressentment, i think society destroyed my sincere desire of having a wife and a family, but it's a good ressentment, there's bad ressentment where you get stuck in rage, stuck between knowing reality but not accepting it, that's the problem, you should accept reality without being overtaken by anger and bitterness.

The_Economistologist · 2026-05-07T02:30:12+00:00

All men should accept being alone. Men are disposable and unwanted. (this is proven by how society treats men)

lesliecarbone · 2026-05-06T14:35:47+00:00

INFO: What makes a guy "nice"?

coochie4sale · 2026-05-06T15:50:02+00:00

I really don’t understand this argument. Most of my relationships started because of repeat contact and/or physical attraction. I have never needed to “seduce”; the women liked me from the start and I just picked up on it. A lot of my woman friends are in relationships with men who, at least from the outside looking in, are very pleasant people. I am not a man bubbling with charm, and am known for my polite nature by others.

Being a nice guy or orbiter is not a good strategy not because being nice or lacking “seduction” is unattractive to woman (in fact many woman prefer this!) but because usually such a strategy entails over-investment in a woman before you’ve even confirmed they’re interested or attracted to you. You waste your time, meet less women than you otherwise could have, and consequently decrease your odds of meeting a romantic partner.

JustAManNamedKazuma · 2026-05-06T16:40:37+00:00

Oh how I enjoy the downfall of the so called "Progressive western society" lol 🤭

Modssuck12574 · 2026-05-06T15:06:01+00:00

Then people should accept any and all negative emotions and the results that come from it. If those men decide to vote away women’s rights, then you gotta be ok with that. When the red and black pill become even more mainstream than they already are, then you gotta be ok with it. This isn’t a moment where you can have all of the cake to yourself and not hear people complaints about not getting a slice. Either share a piece or hear the complaints.

Jetpine9 · 2026-05-06T14:15:16+00:00

It is what it is.

But is it what it was? And if not, is it not reasonable to assume it isn't what it will be? Could it be something else? Are there many different options? Who decided it was what it is anyway?

DapperDan1929 · 2026-05-06T15:18:28+00:00

I did. At 47 years old in 2020. Had a string of bad luck, decided it’s not worth it, best decision ever. Zero relationship bs. Sex? Well I’m used to not having sex with some I’d want to have sex with so, no changes there. It gets easier. Eventually you start to see everyone experiencing relationship issues as nave about the world.

Glittering_Win_5085 · 2026-05-06T17:13:15+00:00

Nice isn't really a trait though is it, let alone one to identify as. Someone will. have had a nice time in your company, but why would anyone identify as a nice person? You need to do good things, rather than deciding you're good.

If you are struggling with sex, dating or relationships that's OK, but don't fall down the weirdly arrogant self-loathing that comes with the nice guy crowd.

Direct-Tower6314 · 2026-05-06T18:07:59+00:00

nice and seductive aren't mutually exclusive

YikBus · 2026-05-06T21:57:02+00:00

Maintenance is not attracting women bud. You made this entire post about men who are alone and state that the dating market is unfair. This has nothing to do with maintenance within a relationship which has nothing to do with attracting women to be in a relationship which your post is actually about.

idoze · 2026-05-06T14:26:30+00:00

I think a lot of guys can't accept being alone because they fundamentally don't like themselves. They want someone to love them to make them feel like they have worth.

To find a partner, you do need to put yourself out there, put in the work, and be willing to wait. However, there are guys who do all of these things, who do everything right, and still end up alone. They are rare, but they do exist.

Yes, those guys have to accept that. However, it's a genuinely hard thing to have the universe tell you that you're not loveable, and to love yourself regardless. So while I agree with you, simply telling them to do that in a dismissive way isn't helpful.

At the end of the day, you're making an obvious statement that most of these guys will understand already. How they accept being alone is the issue.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-05-06T14:10:27+00:00

Good thing they don’t have to. Boring, unremarkable people everywhere are in relationships

AngeAware · 2026-05-06T14:51:12+00:00

I'm convinced that people who say things like this are are backpacking traits onto niceness like shyness, stiffness, awkwardness, introversion, and innocence to the point of coming off as a child in a grown man's body.

Those traits, especially when combined, are going to be tougher sells for most adult women in terms of sexual attraction. You can't distill the issue down to being "too nice." A dude with some of those combined traits who is also an asshole to boot is not going to be any more successful.

Gilmoregirlin · 2026-05-06T15:01:19+00:00

Generally if you have to self identify to others that you are a nice guy, you are not.

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Mobrowncheeks · 2026-05-06T14:09:40+00:00

I guess no one is going to give the other gender what they want since it’s split between nice guys and men who are not so nice but attractive 😭 maybe being a man is better

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-05-07T02:19:42+00:00

So there’s a lot I agree with here, like seduction being separate from being nice and niceness not being enough to make someone want you. I mean it’s not as it men go after women just because they’re “nice,” and likewise, “nice” is not enough to attract a woman.

However, a lot of the issue comes from men mixing up “nice” with “boring,” or simply “not evil.” Most “nice guys,” maybe most men in general, seem to be just basically “lawful neutral.” They are self-absorbed devils’ advocates whose moral compass hasn’t really evolved past the reward/punishment stage, who don’t do anything egregious but also don’t show any active concern for anyone except themselves. I feel like everyone can think of several men they know like this right away.

This fact means that while no, being nice won’t seduce someone, being in any way actively positive is more of a unique and attractive character trait than one might think. Things like being passionate about a cause, going out of one’s way to help others without an ulterior motive or sense of obligation, or even showing genuine interest in other people, do stand out.

PMdyouthefix · 2026-05-09T12:39:53+00:00

It's not possible to change your personality as an adult. It's set in stone during the developmental years. The problem that these men have is that they were raised wrong (single mothers) or had the wrong genes.

Steakman1 · 2026-05-06T14:32:54+00:00

they want to complain online about “modern women”

Then they aren’t actually nice guys. They are r/niceguys. Which ironically are more likely to be the types of guys to watch the red pill content that is supposedly helping them.

People seem to frame nice guys this way, or frame them as soft, lacking confidence, and pushovers as a way to push the narrative that you have to be some sort of player or asshole in order for women to like you. I don’t really see you doing that in your post besides pushing that framework of a nice guy. It’s more just a general statement.

You can be a good guy and still have success with women. Being a good guy does not require lacking confidence and simping. People here seem to think you have to be one extreme or another and I don’t understand why.

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Ill-Investigator9546 · 2026-05-06T14:08:07+00:00

I agree.

delsystem32exe · 2026-05-06T14:13:18+00:00

i concur.

Afraid_Fondant_7903 · 2026-05-06T15:24:22+00:00

why can’t u be a nice guy and learn seduction they aren’t mutually exclusive

Usual-Vermicelli-867 · 2026-05-06T19:49:55+00:00

I came to the conclusion that im sexuli undersible and cant seduc (only be friendly) and tbh im not about to complain about woman because I I dont dementia attention (I just want it there is a difference (

But tbh fuck off dud. People have the right to complain you dont tell them to be quit as a way to heal you tell them so you can ignore it and they irrated you

My lonely bros and sis.

Life is horrible and if spite is what's keeps you from bitting thr bullets good for you(it does also for me sometimes) ..you are still alive and you will make it everyone else problem. Go do it

Title	Nice guys should accept being alone
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	0
Comments	253
Date	May 6, 2026 1:58 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1t5dqs8/nice_guys_should_accept_being_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/nice-guys-should-accept-being-alone.1579735 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579735

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