I came across this post and wanted to know how ppd judges the boyfriends advice?

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-09-30T01:00:13+00:00

A couple comments call her out and basically say “well are you or your friend dating a guy like that?” and they’re right

Mark_Freed · 2021-09-30T08:05:53+00:00

I literally had flashbacks... reminds me of all the advice I got and stuff that guys around me got.

I was trying to be encouraging saying that he’ll find a nice girl.

Damn, I am getting triggered so hard now. lol if you don't have good advice to give then shut the fuck up. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and the original thread is filled with classic gaslighting. I can't wait for this to stop and people start to agree humans are hypocrites when it comes to these things.

I agree with this boyfriend mostly. I am not even sure if that girl's advice "starts on step 3". It might be true... I have not made up my mind on that. Right now I think it starts months into a relationship. There might a minority of girls who this advice don't work for. Maybe girl's grow more mature after late 20s. Who knows but consider their age, the kind of girls these guys find attractive, this guy's advice is on point.

I struggle even now to not give beautiful girls compliments on their appearance. I love how they look and I used to think they would like heartfelt compliments. But that is wrong, most of the time it will hurt your chances. Compliment her for things within her control. Guys would love compliments on their appearance, so they often compliment girls for things that they did not earn. She was born with good genes. Girls feel like the guy is having ulterior motives and is not being genuine. Instead praise her good behavior, exercise, cooking, fashion sense, things that she put a real effort into. Girls are tired of being objectified, so subjectify her - humanize her as a conscious individual with free will.

It is very easy to fall for a girl very fast and end up coming across as desperate. Buying her gifts, flowers, way too early is a turn off because she cannot understand why you are so invested in her because you don't know her well enough to have good reason to care for her. The interpretation most girls will have is "he does not have dignity", "he is desperate", "he is shallow and fell for my looks", "he has no other options so he is trying too hard". So value yourself my guy, don't give yourself so cheaply. Consider yourself as the prize and treat her as your equal. Your behavior should reflect that mindset.

Coming to advice for her, she can dump him and run. It is not like she is going to find all those behavior attractive in a guy so the cycle repeats and she will date someone similar imo.

This guy does not sound like he will struggle to find someone else. He sounds like a catch since 1) he cares about his friend to give him advice and the harsh truth 2) he loves his gf enough to be real with her.

It would be her loss if she ran.

AwfulLottaWe · 2021-09-30T03:10:11+00:00

I saw that post. Really interesting to read the comments. Surprisingly, a lot of men were calling out the OP’s hypocrisy and asking for explanations as to how women think that advice is both misogynistic and untrue…when it demonstrably works.

Bet you anything that’s why it was removed: The truth was coming out. Mods likely didn’t expect that.

NockerJoe · 2021-09-30T01:21:26+00:00

The whole "Womens dating advice starts on Step 3" is the most real take you will ever hear.

ilovepetya · 2021-09-30T04:58:51+00:00

his advice is essentially, dont lovebomb and dont shower a woman with compliments and gifts if you barely know her. and this is misogynistic? really? i feel like im living in an alternate reality.

cypherprince · 2021-09-30T05:11:31+00:00

I remember a piece of advice from my female best friend was, "Put some poetry on your Tinder bio. Girls love artsy guys."

DOG

SHIT

ADVICE

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-09-30T02:07:05+00:00

Lmao. PPD men won't likely be against it because this is basically RP-level stuff.

I honestly don't think women put in much thought to what they find sexually attractive, and that's much different from what women say that they "like." You have to be sexually attractive to women first before they'll care about anything else. All women will tell you is basically how to be a good friend. They won't tell you what they're sexually attracted to - possibly because they don't exactly know. They just know it when they see it, and its coincidentally in men that like doing all of the things they say that they hate.

LittyKitsune · 2021-09-30T02:25:56+00:00

OP either needs to admit that she's attracted to her asshole boyfriend and stfu or walk the walk and leave him.

Jakes1967 · 2021-09-30T08:17:38+00:00

...they don’t want nice guys they want guys that other women want .

This is sage advice

The BF is 100% correct, women might dream/want "Nice guys", but they respond to arseholes/bad boys/fuckbois etc.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2021-09-30T00:57:27+00:00

Phenomenal example of why men need to learn to just stfu offline. Nothing he said was wrong, just really generalized and watered down. Could have done without the generalizations about women, especially in front of his girlfriend. When men say “women don’t like nice guys”, we know what we mean, but that doesn’t mean a girl listening does. Just zip it up.

I have no doubt in my mind the pearl clutching women in that thread say similar shit about men all the time. Many of them are saying it in the replies. But most people aren’t operating from a logical standpoint, it’s an emotional one, so hypocrisy isn’t a concern.

The lesson: play dumb as fuck IRL. Act like you’ve never thought about these things in your life. It will literally never benefit you to talk about them. Even if you see your boy struggling, tell him shit in secret, or not at all. The game is the game.

milkyymochii · 2021-09-30T01:26:53+00:00

The only way we can accurately judge this situation is if we can see how ugly/attractive these males are. If the “friend” is ugly then that’s all I need to know.

wtknight · 2021-09-30T00:55:10+00:00

While I don't think that a guy has to be some asshole bad boy to attract women, being nice in itself doesn't work either because niceness alone doesn't attract women. Men have to become something that women hypergamously admire, and niceness isn't one of those things that they do.

Ok_Room1213 · 2021-09-30T00:41:14+00:00

He was being really harsh to his friend and I was trying to be encouraging saying that he’ll find a nice girl.

The girlfriend/OP doesn't understand how men communicate with each other. This sentence is a great example of how women speak in platitudes and expect the other person to get the subtext or implied communication being made. While men actually speak direct with each other.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-09-30T00:56:35+00:00

Well.... show me the lie...

He's giving his friend uncomfortable truths over comforting lies. Flowers on the first date? Wtf?

TheEndTrend · 2021-09-30T03:31:07+00:00

Far too many people conflate being an “asshole” and/or being a “bad boy” with confidence - they are not the same thing, they just happen to overlap frequently…

To be authentically and unapologetically yourself is the start, but it’s not enough to make you attractive. The meek 25 y/o virgin guy is being himself, but his self just sucks! As a man you must also be assertive, bold, aggressive, firm in your beliefs….basically just do what you want and give zero fucks. That’s not being an “asshole” that’s just being masculine.

Lots of men don’t understand this, and even fewer women do IMO.

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-09-30T02:03:10+00:00

apparently the friend has also been taking advice from a mutual friend of theirs named Jessica and he asks him “does the guys Jessica date act like me or you ? Me? So why you listening to her ?”

I don't see how all the harpies in the comment section can justify screaming "RUN" when the proof is right there in the pudding.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-09-30T04:00:38+00:00

Fish. Fisherman.

Fish can tell you what they like to eat. Not how to get the job done

LowCreddit · 2021-09-30T19:24:12+00:00

Very few women approach dating as anything more active than swiping left or right, whether on an app or in real life. They have no experience with nor understanding of what makes a relationship start or work. I would dump her for saying the word misogynistic.

Hoopy223 · 2021-09-30T02:21:40+00:00

Everything he said is true its just that people don’t like truth. Thats why so many people clam up and give BS answers whenever these topics cone up.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-09-30T00:47:04+00:00

so like hes saying TRP? great. maybe we could, like, discuss TRP here

AerieIll3707 · 2021-09-30T00:25:28+00:00

LOOOOOL thats so fucking funnyy

im so glad most the girls in my city wouldnt take that shit seriously.

Anyway, he did nothing wrong. That's how the boys talk to each other. Fraternity is an important part of mens development.

And his advice is on point, thought girls hated nice guys right? Because that dude will soon be a niceguyTM if it isnt for the bf keeping him in check

AutoModerator · 2021-09-30T00:08:05+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

majani · 2021-09-30T07:08:43+00:00

I get the feeling that the 25 year old virgin was significantly less attractive than the boyfriend. My theory is that 90% of dating advice would be way less of a mystery if you could take a look at the persons pictures

xFallacyx69 · 2021-09-30T11:41:11+00:00

Honestly part of the reason I found TRP (and part of the reason I agree with some of the stuff) is because I was tired of my good to do bros getting absolutely abused in the dating world and not being able to give them advice besides shrugging my shoulder and saying “I don’t know, chicks are weird brah”.

The boyfriend is 100% right and every time I hear a chick giving shit advice to counter my advice I always bluntly say “how many chicks has she fucked? How many chicks has she dated? How many women have told her that they are in love with her and want to get married and have kids with her??” Usually that ends the convo

CraptainToad · 2021-09-30T14:31:40+00:00

I don't see how the advice is misogynistic

spinsterchachkies · 2021-09-30T21:21:07+00:00

He sounds gross

gimpgirl555 · 2021-09-30T04:11:35+00:00

While I don't agree with the generalization of women, the part about women's advice being what they want guys they like to do and getting to women liking him was where the 25year old virgin was struggling seems very interesting and rather hard to argue against.

He's wrong. Women will give men whatever advice benefits them. That's where the "buy her flowers" thing comes from. Women want free stuff.

Second, a guy that's a virgin at that age is not normal. It's not gonna happen for him with civilians.

cashobar · 2021-09-30T09:06:46+00:00

2 things

Lmao @ all the comments calling for a breakup over some silly advice. Whether his advice is true or not - both in general or in his friends particular case - the fact that all the comments being upvoted calling for a breakup really says a lot about the demographics of Reddit. It’s childish as fuck to write things like “OP, RUN! He showed his true side” because you disagreed with his advice lmfao. Relationships are built on more than sharing every single value and opinion.
I’m not even sure if I agree with the boyfriend’s advice, but you don’t ask a deer how to hunt deer. You ask the hunter. And yes to whatever creepy redditor who’s scrolling through my comment history in an attempt to win an argument, this allegory works because it is typically men who pursue women and not the other way around, at least up until the 30s-40s+.

714sh00ter · 2021-09-30T00:30:06+00:00

This is normal behavior/advice, there’s always going to be a difference of how you talk to women you want to settle with and women that you just want to fuck. It’s just boys locker room talk except the girl’s boyfriend is comfortable enough for her to hear.

filthyburrows · 2021-09-30T00:50:18+00:00

strange.... bringing flowers always worked for me. almost 9/10 times. bring flowers, women love flowers..

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-09-30T02:01:48+00:00

I don’t think women’s dating advice to men is always great, but a lot of times men also don’t listen properly, ask for clarification, or use common sense. Like if a guy hears “flowers” he may just take that and run without asking if he should show up with flowers at her workplace the morning after the second date. I don’t mean to be rude, but her liking you first before making romantic gestures should really be a given. The fact that a lot of men are surprised and offended that women have to like and be attracted to a guy before his gestures “work” is a bit crazy to me. This should be obvious.

Also, the bf in this story sounds like a douche all the way around and trying to seem superior rather than really help his friend.

sine120 · 2021-09-30T00:12:54+00:00

Depends what the guy is looking for. If he's looking only for sex, it's good advice to not act like a boyfriend. If he doesn't care how he gets it, then yeah it's bad.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-30T05:07:53+00:00

Skimming through all of that his friend probably needed the harshness and bluntness of his tone more than his girlfriends , I agree guys shouldn't or at the very least have to be very very careful in terms of taking dating advice from women while I may not agree with everything the boyfriend said seems like he was genuinely trying to help his friend out and I think his word will be more helpful

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-09-30T10:01:12+00:00

That posts looks pretty fake to me.

Mimoxs · 2021-09-30T00:27:10+00:00

The obvious course of action here is to fuck the friend. Like the bf is trying to get him laid with other women so bad when he has a perfectly operational gf right there

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-09-30T00:40:35+00:00

Ugh, her bf is the living stereotype of a RedPiller. When he told her "You're dating me and not him" she should have shot back "Y'know what? You're right; why am I even putting up with this crap?" and dumped her douchey bf on the spot.

Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-09-30T01:08:01+00:00

Yeah I don’t think women give good advice on dating women. Same with me. You can’t observe something from the outside when your in it. Women and men will say XTZ works but usually that’s the stuff they want to work not the stuff that does.
He’s being to harsh. There’s ways of saying the exact same info but making it sound bad. Women are masters of this. Let’s go with the flowers.

Don’t bring flowers because you don’t know if she’s the type to feel burdened by gifts and the feeling of having to reciprocate. Just show up dressed well and pay for the date.

See how much that sounds better then “don’t be a bitch bringing flowers and shit in 2021 they gonna think you fruity”.

Same cause of action. Different way of saying it.

06534956 · 2021-09-30T04:22:26+00:00

Eh, accepting general dating advice from women is counter productive.

Here’s a little known secret from a woman’s perspective: men will do/say/be anything in order to impress women and make us happy. It’s part of the magic of being in a relationship.

Men need to attune to the woman they like specifically, and simply try different things to impress her.

Look at her, listen to her, and put the pieces together from there. Does she wear jewelry? That means she probably likes jewelry, so buy her some. I caught a man going through my makeup bag and taking pictures so he could go to the makeup store and buy it.

Rosifer433d · 2021-09-30T09:02:25+00:00

That thread is as real as the hair on Trump's head.

toasterchild · 2021-09-30T11:04:17+00:00

I feel like this is written like it's someone's redpill fantasy. Never ever have i ever heard a woman give advice to someone on a first date to being flowers or tell her she's beautiful. I mean maybe if the woman you're getting advice from was great gma or something.

Women IRL are more likely to say play it cool and see where it goes or something like that because they aren't going to want to direct you to play games. Sure you can get advice on how to game women elsewhere, it might work well but when do you drop it? Do you ever become yourself again? Or do you be game man forever?

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-09-30T10:17:52+00:00

And the mods deleted the post, can't have the truth getting out.

Bunch of simp ass mofos.

nationearthdotcom · 2021-09-30T00:25:22+00:00

Nah, this whole "ask the fisherman not the fish" logic is dumb af.

Love bombing is how you get a girl to like you, that’s what abusive guys do, so when he says look at her boyfriends and what they do you’re only seeing one side of the equation.

That push/pull is what makes it so hard for girls to leave, because they see the good in the person.

I fell for the girls like assholes logic and it didn’t work, it just pushed them away.

Once I threw some good morning texts in there and complimented them a lot they would get hooked on me

catsinbananahats · 2021-09-30T01:06:08+00:00

I think she should break up with him he sounds like a whole package of red flags

superlurkage · 2021-09-30T03:17:56+00:00

She’s being naive, he’s being an ass

It would be no different if she was giving her gf advice to play games with a dude

ESH

SnooSprouts1580 · 2021-09-30T09:54:06+00:00

Funny how the OP thinks her boyfriend's advice is misogynistic - do women believe that their selection process is perfectly politically correct?

DXBrigade · 2021-09-30T14:14:52+00:00

I don't think telling a woman htat she is beautiful is bad advice, though giving flowers is outdated. Both men and women can give bad advice ime, saying that all women give bad advice is sexist.

OccultRitualCooking · 2021-10-01T04:55:24+00:00

"Don't be mad at me, be mad at God. I didn't make women I just have to live on the planet with them."

Fire. FIRE.

boomershack · 2021-10-01T14:35:20+00:00

I thought women not knowing what they want is a meme?

Anantha1996 · 2021-09-30T01:38:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JumboJetz · 2021-09-30T03:06:03+00:00

There isn’t really 1 approach to getting girls. Once you get over some bare minimum basic things (take a shower, brush your teeth, attempt to hold a conversation, wear nice clean clothes) any further advice is usually meaningless as one has to take in the particulars of the woman he’s talking to in order to attract her. And you can’t generalize particulars.

pubgmisc · 2021-09-30T12:44:30+00:00

Yeah never take women's advice, no offense ladies. Get him The Rational Male book

Title	I came across this post and wanted to know how ppd judges the boyfriends advice?
Author	Anantha1996
Upvotes	80
Comments	398
Date	September 30, 2021 12:08 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/py82k3/i_came_across_this_post_and_wanted_to_know_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-came-across-this-post-and-wanted-to-know-how-ppd.1073470 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073470

Comments