Does this post show dual mating strategy and the guy's repulsion towards it?

TwentyX4 · 2021-10-08T06:57:44+00:00

Since the text of the post was removed, here you go:

My boyfriend and I have been together since January of 2020 the lock down really sped up our relationship and we have been talking about getting engaged. My boyfriend and I are both decent looking people now. My boyfriend works as a physician and I am in physical therapy. We were looking through my Facebook, now photos of my ex's I have either removed them or untagged myself. While we were going through my Facebook we went to one of my friends albums and there was a picture of me in a bikini with my ex at the time, he was on the college basketball team. I could tell my boyfriend got upset by that so I skipped over it, but he is like no go back. He then said that I looked good and asked about my ex, he was like oh he was on the basketball team? those guys got all the hot girls. Then he said that I looked so good back then (I was 20 at the time), and then he said that he is jealous that he got to fuck me in my hot years. And that guys like him (himself) only get girls when we are looking to settle down and are older. I asked him does he not find me attractive anymore then he said that I look good, but that you can't compare 20 to 29. When I asked him what I meant he then started using extremes, and was like okay so you think 80s will look good as your 20s? I don't know it really hurt, I have already been worrying about aging and then hearing my own boyfriend say that 20 year old me was hotter makes me sad. I know I am not the same 110lbs as I was in the photo but I thought I aged really gracefully, and 29 isn't even old. When I try to talk to him he just brushes it off. What should I do here? **tl;dr- boyfriend saw photos of me in a bikini with my ex-boyfriend then he said he was jealous that he got to fuck me in my hot years.**

lonelydude51 · 2021-10-08T03:24:05+00:00

Honestly, I think there's probably some missing details in this story that were not mentioned for a good reason.

Her BF was pissed about something and saw an opportunity to drop a bomb on her. In this case, it was a neutron bomb. He had to have known it was a relationship ending comment. He wanted to kill it and then twist the knife.

bearsfan231 · 2021-10-08T17:54:30+00:00

Lmao at all the denial. Also this dude's a doctor, go fuck hot escorts in their 20s and get over it.

sootlord · 2021-10-08T18:25:17+00:00

If your not first, your last. Act accordingly.

Blackheart201992 · 2021-10-08T01:25:25+00:00

I love posts like these - anything that riles up the old hens and gets them clucking is worth it in my book.

chilikettlechips · 2021-10-08T00:38:09+00:00

Take the job and alpha/beta out of it. Say she dated a bunch of white guys before and suddenly dates a minority. Or 185+ guys until suddenly a 165 guy. Or rich guys until a poor one. What would the conversation be like.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-10-08T01:56:15+00:00

Another case where the Beta discovered that he was a Beta. See ladies, this is why you never want your Beta to ever be unplugged from the matrix.

CradlingBrokenGlass · 2021-10-08T00:52:35+00:00

If women have the same sexual attraction towards their new choices when they mature as they did when they were younger then it’s legitimate changing of what drives her. Where this derails is when it’s obvious she still has the instant hots for bad boy Chads and uses a different selection and intentionally chooses the doctor because he will be a good provider but otherwise she doesn’t get instantly turned on thinking about him.

Edit: typos

FatmanSlim93 · 2021-10-07T20:54:04+00:00

The dude was rude af for saying what he said. Now is he right in not wanting to feel settled for? Sure. That being said the comment was unnecessary and is probably gonna be the end of the relationship.

JSears90210 · 2021-10-08T00:23:58+00:00

I think it shows that there is a growing number of men who are unhappy with hook up culture and women having party years where they date/sleep with men they aren't really serious about and who often aren't good long term prospects. Just hot or bad. They resent that they are the stable option. Right or wrong I think this cultural phenomenon is only going to continue to grow. It seems like it becomes more widespread every year.

rothkochapel · 2021-10-08T13:57:50+00:00

Original post has been removed, here's a backup:

"My boyfriend and I have been together since January of 2020 the
lock down really sped up our relationship and we have been talking about
getting engaged. My boyfriend and I are both decent looking people now.
My boyfriend works as a physician and I am in physical therapy.
We were looking through my Facebook, now photos of my ex's I have
either removed them or untagged myself. While we were going through my
Facebook we went to one of my friends albums and there was a picture of
me in a bikini with my ex at the time, he was on the college basketball
team.
I could tell my boyfriend got upset by that so I skipped over it, but
he is like no go back. He then said that I looked good and asked about
my ex, he was like oh he was on the basketball team? those guys got all
the hot girls. Then he said that I looked so good back then (I was 20 at
the time), and then he said that he is jealous that he got to fuck me
in my hot years. And that guys like him (himself) only get girls when we
are looking to settle down and are older.
I asked him does he not find me attractive anymore then he said that I
look good, but that you can't compare 20 to 29. When I asked him what I
meant he then started using extremes, and was like okay so you think
80s will look good as your 20s? I don't know it really hurt, I have
already been worrying about aging and then hearing my own boyfriend say
that 20 year old me was hotter makes me sad. I know I am not the same
110lbs as I was in the photo but I thought I aged really gracefully, and
29 isn't even old.
When I try to talk to him he just brushes it off. What should I do here?
tl;dr- boyfriend saw photos of me in a bikini with my
ex-boyfriend then he said he was jealous that he got to fuck me in my
hot years."

https://www.reveddit.com/v/relationships/comments/q3ffuh/my29f\_boyfriend31m\_saw\_pictures\_of\_me\_when\_i\_was/

UponABeautyRests · 2021-10-07T21:28:53+00:00

Lose-lose situation for him. Even if he went for a younger women initially he’d still be labeled as a creep. Apparently everyone should just play sports and no one should become doctors…

duffmanhb · 2021-10-07T20:46:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LightGlows · 2021-10-07T21:17:01+00:00

Yes, guy is a moron for speaking about it to the woman though. She is not in the wrong here either, especially if it's a few bfs and not a slut past

He should dangle the commitment carrot and pump and dump for a few years to get his and then settle down with someone a bit younger. A doctor can do better than 2 years younger, even the average looking ones.

Seriously he just needs to get it out of his system, then his priorities can change and he can mature and grow up a bit and it's all good. He isn't really dangling the commitment carrot, he is just dating trying to find the right one and not wasting too much time on those he doesn't think will work out, he isn't getting younger after all. He isn't dating younger either, just look at his last 10 attempts at relationships, age is all over the place - he just found the one and she happens to be 4-7 years younger. True love

SupremeDreams99 · 2021-10-08T02:04:15+00:00

He said it in a dick way but he’s absolutely right no matter how you cut it, she settled for him after she had different priorities(money and stability) and avoided him when she didn’t want those, she doesn’t love this guy she’s settling and he has every right to not want to feel settled for by a woman who would reject him if he wasn’t a literal doctor

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-10-07T21:11:30+00:00

I think it's an open secret that young adult bodies look better than middle aged to old adult bodies and it doesn't have anything to do with dual mating, just both people being salty that they're not young anymore

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-10-07T20:47:28+00:00

So this lady, when she was in college dated a college basketball player - not a professional athlete (and you saying "athletes" false conveys the impression she only dated athletes when she was young). Now that she's a physical therapist, is dating a physician. So in each case, she dated someone who was in her environment (college, and now, work).

She also says she and her bf are "decent looking now" meaning she finds his looks attractive to her.

How do you get dual mating strategy from all this?

AffectionateCitrone3 · 2021-10-08T01:58:49+00:00

Duh. Literally AFBB to the T. She was getting her back blown out by Chad in college and now she got the beta Doctor to settle down now that her looks are gone (she even admits it w/ the 'aged gracefully comment). You haven't been paying attention, young Padawan.

LUCKYMAZE · 2021-10-08T07:01:50+00:00

thing is the older woman would still choose the athlete if she didn't need the money

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-07T21:59:09+00:00

If she's hot, and he is average-looking; of course he is going to have to bring something to the table. Money.

I've met women who dated professional soccer players when they were 18-25 and when they turned 30+ they went on to get married to overweight lawyers and dentists and politicians.

That's how it is, bro. Quality pussy isn't free for men who are average-looking or unattractive-looking, they gotta have something worthwhile for the woman to marry these guys.

Don't hate the player hate the game, bro.

houstongradengineer · 2021-10-07T20:41:46+00:00

Are men right to feel those who didn't want me when i was doing the work, don't deserve the finished article (career-wise)?

I mean, was she really not there for him? Did she even know him then? Whatever your feelings are, I'm sure they are valid.

Is dual mating strategy simply women growing up

I think this is a huge part of it. In this culture of perpetual adolescence, how would a growing woman have time for a serious relationship with a hardworking doctor? They'd both be terrible busy I'm sure. I'm not surprised the athletes had more time and money on their hands to ask women out, and I'm not surprised they didn't take those past flings too seriously. Just my take. This culture needs to change. The fact is: current culture doesn't give young people a CHANCE to do the things young adults should be doing like settling down and making a family.

asdf333aza · 2021-10-08T06:18:19+00:00

Is her bf wrong? She probably wouldn't of given him the time of day when she was 20. She was dating basketball players back then. He is dealing with what ever is left over after she had her fun on the cc.

GuitarsBack · 2021-10-07T21:40:16+00:00

I like that he's honest about it.

Now break up with her and date younger women.

Problem solved.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2021-10-07T22:33:28+00:00

I can’t read the post, so I don’t know any details besides what’s said here.

Listen, give me a real example of “dual mating”, or a girlfriend with a clear history that doesn’t line up. Show me a dishonest girlfriend, or even someone that’s just giving you reason to be insecure and I’ll be right there with you.

But this? To me, this kind of reaction is crazy. Maybe there’s way more to it that we’re missing, but honestly, freaking out over one boyfriend your girl had? Insane.

It’s okay to be insecure. It’s okay to be insecure about your past, or your partners past. It’s not okay to basically blow up on your partner about it, and it’s definitely not okay to get this wound up over basically nothing.

Dual mating strategies and inconsistent patterns are a real thing that men should learn to contend with. One boyfriend is not that.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-10-08T00:00:58+00:00

Generally you don't want to settle down with a woman who went the Sandbergian route, especially when it's so open and to this degree.

Are men right to feel those who didn't want me when i was doing the work, don't deserve the finished article (career-wise)?

This should be the default if a young guy is interested in an LTR. You want a woman who is betting on you to "become." Note: not a woman who is trying to change you, but a woman who has faith in you as a man. I.e. you meet a girl in college and she forgoes the "college experience" to consolidate on you while you're still pursuing your engineering or business degree.

Is dual mating strategy simply women growing up?

She's in her epiphany phase, so her priorities are simply more mature. So yeah, in a sense its "growing up." But when men decide to "grow up" too late, they also suffer social consequences for it. Same with women. This is literally a situation where the nerd is being settled for by a former chad-chaser. It's a humiliation for a guy because deep down, they know the game. But only a few guys actually know how to articulate it.

theoracleofosiris · 2021-10-08T01:43:24+00:00

Mgtow would’ve solved his problem

FatPam007 · 2021-10-08T10:11:10+00:00

They deleted it. I don't think a body and face change that much in your 30s though. I mean it depends, but if you worked out in your 20s you're probably gonna be working out in your 30s.

BigDudBoy · 2021-10-08T02:52:22+00:00

(Ignoring that almost all AITA posts are made up) I think some people are getting off topic because they don't like what the bf said. OP is asking if this is an example of dual mating strategy and I think it is.

I went to college. I knew athletes. If you wanted to date a smart athlete, you would date a cross country runner. There is a very big difference between a college basketball player and a doctor. I think it indicates a shift in priorities.

Also, she describes her and her bf as "decent looking". That's not what someone says about themselves or their partner. The bf clearly sees a difference between her in college and her now. I'm betting she isn't super attracted to her bf and she also isn't that good looking now. Another example of dual mating strategy, women settle for a beta bux and don't put as much effort into their appearance.

yoooooooooooodaddy · 2021-10-07T20:48:27+00:00

LOL at the thread calling him a “creep” for preferring younger girls. Click on some of the woman’s profiles there and it will be the same creep shit over and over

“You can compare 29 to 20, she looks the same, muhsoggyknees” and “20 compared to 29 is a child” from the SAME PEOPLE

JohnnyMnemo · 2021-10-08T03:28:35+00:00

Dr should be dating 10 years younger than him, since that's his preference and now he has the money to attract those women.

Fudstersecured · 2021-10-07T21:05:09+00:00

“Her past, your future”, a common male hang up

flamingoinghome · 2021-10-08T08:07:49+00:00

Fucks sake, she had a boyfriend in college who was also in her college. Where does it say he wasn't "settle down material"? Because he played basketball while he was studying? Many men can walk and chew gum at the same time.

He's just salty that she apparently doesn't look as sexy as she did then. The idea that it's some obsession with the boyfriend is dumb. I doubt he'd be chill if her boyfriend was an ugly dweeb when she was 20, or if she wasn't seeing anyone at the time.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-10-07T21:09:47+00:00

I assumed the dual mating strategy was characterized by a shorter time scale. This seems more like she was done experimenting with hot guys in her youth and is now focused more on dependability and financial stability in her partners.

Obviously the bf should similarly be able to date who he wants at his age without judgment, but the simple truth is that he happens to be dating OP (who isn't at fault for any of this) so his frustration is weirdly misdirected, and actually telling her something like that makes him a tactless dick.

1Here4Bach · 2021-10-07T22:11:06+00:00

Don’t you think throwing a tantrum over someone she dated 10 years ago is kinda….ya know…stupid?

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-10-08T07:02:54+00:00

🤭 I have no idea why men continue you to do this too themselves. The reality is that if you are dating or marrying a woman past 25, then you are likely her Beta Bucks. Plain and simple. Women don't beta bucks men, men do it to themselves by being delusional and ignorant about the current dating market.

GridReXX · 2021-10-07T20:56:37+00:00

This is so ridiculous.

Now a woman can’t even have a former BOYFRIEND.

It’s gone from “cock carousel” to now God forbid she has a former boyfriend.

He saw a pic of her and her college boyfriend from her friend’s Facebook album and is acting like she personally did an injustice to him. It is not her fault they didn’t know each other ten years ago. It is not her fault he didn’t have a “hot” gf in college.

I can’t even imagine any sensible person actually telling their current partner “I wished I dated you when you were hot.”

What fucking insane loser drivel is that.

At this point men like OP’s 31 year old bf should date virgin women or not date at all.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-07T22:10:11+00:00

What was the girl supposed to do? Not date anyone ever?

hi_and_fuck_you · 2021-10-08T14:30:54+00:00

This post is the epitome of dual mating and if the women in this topic don't let their hamsters take a break they're all going to be taking a ride to petsmart to get new ones.

Hot girl fucks Chad in college then gets old and tries to setttle down with an average looking Doctor = dual mating to the extreme.

This guys clearly understood this the second he saw the pics and has now self sabotaged the realtionship because he no longer respects the woman.

There is nothing for the girl to do to fix it because she has already been designated as worthless. Fixing it would require a time machine.

If you're going to fuck the exact opposite type of dude in your youth, don't expect the other type to give a flying fuck about you when you're old. Doesn't matter how hot you think you are.

This woman basically reduced her self to hooker status with this guy and the women in this topic are salty about it because not only does it prove the theory but it also proves what money making men will do in this circumstance.

Barely-moral · 2021-10-07T21:01:44+00:00

It could be argued that it is an example of dual mating strategy. She was interested in one type of guy when she was young and looking for nothing serious. Now that she is not that young and looking to settle down she is looking for another type of guy.

I think he expressed it poorly but can sympathize with the sentiment.

I sympathize with the sentiment but there was absolutely no need to express it. If he found that her using a dual mating strategy is a dealbreaker he could just leave her, no need to say anything.

If it is not a dealbreaker there is no reason to say anything, all that can be done by saying it is hurt her and the relationship.

If he is not sure if this is enough to break up with her then there is no reason to say anything. Shut up, gather more data, be sure about what you want and then... then there is still no reason to say anything. Just stay or leave. In silence.

this isn't something she did maliciously but rather a reflection of her priorities changing over time

The problem with dual mating strategy is not that it is done with malice. The problem is that the woman has two types of guys. One for fun, and one for serious relationships. Most guys don't want to be with a woman that thinks they are in the latter category and not on the first one.

Is dual mating strategy simply women growing up?

Women growing up is one explanation for dual mating strategy, or an excuse, or both at the same time. It is also irrelevant.

Are men right to feel those who didn't want me when i was doing the work, don't deserve the finished article (career-wise)?

Anyone is right to feel however they want. Feelings have nothing to do with reality though.

At the end it is a personal choice. I know I wouldn't give the fruits of my effort to a woman that ignored the kind of men I was before I got the results that make me attractive as an option.

I am not the results of my efforts. I am the human behind the efforts. And the human bhind the efforts can only be seen without the results.

tryingmybestatm · 2021-10-08T07:36:10+00:00

doc's dumb. just play the commitment act and keep her around until she leaves coz she wants marriage or until she is no longer sexually attractive, then move onto the next woman. maybe the doc wanted to end the relationship so then he can find a girl in her early twenties with whom he can have kids and stay together for as long as it works out. being alpha has to do with looks as well as the mindset imo so if u aren't then ur best bet is to go this route.

ragman75 · 2021-10-07T22:13:56+00:00

What this shows is that if you have success in your 30s as a man dont settle for a woman past her prime, you should go younger and find some woman in her early - mid 20s and marry her instead.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-10-08T00:14:39+00:00

Post is deleted, but from the title, he said he was jealous that her ex boyfriend “got to fuck her during her hot years.” Sounds to me like if he doesn’t think she’s still in her “hot years,” he is the one settling for her. Not that she settled for him. Could men be projecting again? Nooo way.

Also, it really makes sense for an attractive woman to date athletes when in college and doctors when a bit older for the simple fact that athletes tend to be young, and there aren’t many doctors under 30 due to how long med school takes. The most desirable profession at one age won’t necessarily be the same at another age, and tastes change, not sure why this is such a crime.

And if men don’t want women when we’re over 25-30, then no, you don’t have a right to complain when women prefer the “finished article” over a struggling student.

velvetunderground111 · 2021-10-08T02:43:34+00:00

I was piss poor and dated a ton of attractive young women in my youth: AF/BB always struck me more as women not wanting to live in a cardboard box or a studio apartment when they hit middle age. Like, I think it is pragmatic. I don't see the issue with it, but I guess if I were a doctor, it would mess with my ego. Seeing as how when he was busting ass in med school for ten years she was with a D.J. or whatever. To me, it's just a practical choice women make when they want to settle down.

nemma88 · 2021-10-08T10:18:10+00:00

This isn't duel mating strategy. This is someone who had a boyfriend before meeting their (probably not now) husband.

This isn't a story where she feels he isn't good enough, or she's longing for her ex or feels she is settling, that she would rather still be with her ex, or had lots of ONS and won't have sex with her boyfriend... There's nothing to suggest her partner is missing out other than her partners insecurity which came up in word vomit.

This is a story of a guy who got weird, I guess the photo, one of Y amount of exes guy was hotter than him and so he projected his fears of being settled for on to her.

There could be other things, but without actually knowing we'd just be doing the same as this guy-making stuff up so it fits a narrative. It could be there are other things he's picked up on, it could be he leaped to conclusions from reading too much manosphere - as evidenced by this thread.

When applying narrative to situations they don't know, RP or BP can be woefully wrong because they fail to consider all options - like the more recent twitter thing where they went all in on a post at a glance and they got it wrong. When you are making things up and don't actually know the outcome then it's easy to keep in that positive feedback loop of being 'right'.

Bamaboy1900 · 2021-10-08T02:39:41+00:00

What if the boyfriend was only with extremely attractive models in the past and now is with her. Would she feel insecure?

Interesting question for sure

verdantsound · 2021-10-08T06:26:13+00:00

hm. thread got deleted. is there an app I can use for deleted posts? oh

Mark_Freed · 2021-10-07T21:37:02+00:00

I don't think guy is repulsed at her strategy, he was honest. He was jealous. He thinks his gf is hot, but she was hotter 9 years back and this ex boyfriend got to fuck her then. It wouldn't matter if it was chad or a beta, if she was married then divorced. This guy’s focus was on how he missed out on having sex with a women who was in the prime of her health.

Sure this kind of a resentment is held usually by the beta buxs cause they did not get to have fun when they were in college. Any guy who slept around with hot girls will not feel this way. I mean this guy has a choice. If he feels so strongly about this he should date a 20 year old girl. He should be good enough to attract such a young girl. If he plans to date this girl seriously telling her his true feelings is just gonna hurt the relationship.

If my partner has a medical condition and she can't have kids. I'm not gonna rub it in her face that I dreamed about having kids. She can't do anything about it. If I plan to try to make the relationship work me saying that is not helping. She can't turn back time. He can take her as she comes.

But I don't know it might not be healthy to bottle in such feelings. I can understand the guy. But I don't think most girl can handle hearing this. The guy can't control how he feels but he can control what he says. If the guy seeks help maybe he can be better? I don't know. For now I think the solution is not to think about it. You can't rationalize away emotions.

wtknight · 2021-10-07T22:51:31+00:00

Who was he having sex with when he was college age? If the women weren't as attractive, or if there weren't any women at all, then he's probably a beta and he just has to deal with the fact that hotter women sometimes settle down with more secure providers like him. If he doesn't want to deal with it, then he needs to find women who aren't as attractive.

If he was also having sex with hot women when he was younger and he's still jealous of his current partner's exes, then he's just being an asshole.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-10-07T22:36:34+00:00

BF should simply bounce and go fuck younger women.

He needs to get that out of his system or he’ll always be resentful.

Hoopy223 · 2021-10-07T22:19:22+00:00

I love how people on here take some random throwaways account post as gospel. It reads like the perfect troll bait for the white knight and feminist contingent(s).

nationearthdotcom · 2021-10-07T20:41:08+00:00

No, it just shows people age and their priorities change. It has nothing to do with dual mating strategy. The boyfriend is a dick, but I get where he is coming from, there is probably a reason she didn’t work out with the basketball player, who also aged and probably is dealing with sports injuries or will be down the road.

It’s just a very shallow and narrow minded view, it’s like how are you going to blame someone for not dating you when you haven’t even met yet. Like if she rejected him for a decade THEN came crawling back like the incel fantasy tries to portray, then maybe, but they just met at different times in their life. If he cares that much he can leave her and try to bang some younger women while he is still young or he can learn to appreciate the woman he has and be a more caring partner

AquaChip · 2021-10-07T22:03:40+00:00

Why would anybody secure in themselves give a shit what they’re girlfriend’s college boyfriend was like? I don’t care if my boyfriend dated fucking Margot Robbie in high school he’s with me now and dwelling on the past will just ruin the relationship.

TotalTravesty · 2021-10-07T21:16:31+00:00

Most of the guys who bitch about “this girl didn’t date me 10 years ago” didn’t even know the girl 10 years ago. Or were so mentally and/or physically fucked that they wouldn’t have done anything productive about their crush 10 years ago.

They’re blaming their past undatability on others. Must be a day ending in Y.

Cuntwaffe3 · 2021-10-07T21:21:43+00:00

This is so fucking stupid.

Boondoggie7777 · 2021-10-07T22:21:09+00:00

Why is this even questioned? If she's an attractive women, she has her pick. When she was younger, she was into hot athletes, as she gets older her tastes change and she wants to be with the doctor.

The doctor gets to finally be with a hot woman, even if he's only aight.

asdf333aza · 2021-10-08T06:19:04+00:00

AF and BB.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-07T22:43:23+00:00

The post is gone, but based on what I'm seeing here, he sounds far too insecure to even be in a serious relationship. If you don't like the thought of your partner having dated other people who might be different than you, you need to stick with virgins

Aldabruzzo · 2021-10-07T20:51:02+00:00

Yes, it does show dual mating strategy. It does show AFBB. She's 29, and looking to "date up" (She's a PT; he's a physician).

Classic AFBB. He's about to get fucked over and is being measured for his divorce rape chains.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-08T02:54:19+00:00

It's not her fault she got together with an insecure loser who never got to fuck hot chicks.

neetykeeno · 2021-10-08T03:10:13+00:00

Well you know...maybe if the doc had been just a little more outgoing in college and done some bare minimum of fitness effort he too could have been smashing in college maybe even land a young pretty wife.

Yes I know medicine is a difficult course and raising smv while doing it is hard. Dude picked his strategies. You snooze you lose. I doubt he is out there giving much sympathy to college athletes that are now washed up financially...that part of his strategy doc there is happy with. I doubt he is giving much sympathy to the lower smv woman he could easily have married in college even without getting fit...that part of his strategy doc there is happy with. Nope...doc is happy with the good stuff and being a sulky child about what he missed out on, what he sacrificed by deliberately not dealing with the becoming sexually attractive challenge when most of his cohort were.

Can't have everything. A medical degree does not mean a perfect life. And everyone missed out on something. Pick your sacrifices. If you want to have had sex with your wife when she was twenty you might need to at twenty pick a twenty year old or so woman who will cheerfully have your twenty year old self as a husband.

silverface-mt05 · 2021-10-08T04:10:57+00:00

All I see here are generalizations vs. personal anecdotes.

If the guy feels jealous, it is 100% his responsibility to not feel jealous, only that there's no simple solution and dishing out "shut up and stay in your lane" type of advice won't do anything.

He has an almost instinctual feel that he's second choice. It's not whether he really is second choice but that he feels like he is one. That's where his envy comes from.

He wants to be first choice. He wants to fuck young hot girls. He should go out and fuck as many hot girls as he is able to attract. And only then once he decides if he wants a family to find someone who he can raise kids with.

Once he's fucked enough, things like past relationships like with his girlfriend will just become an indicator of what kind of person she is, not what kind of life he wish he had. And that's when you can make rational decisions.

I think it's not a problem she dated an athlete, professional or not. It's not enough info to discern what kind of person she is. It's only a problem if she had a very slutty past and only decided to find a "long-term partner" when her looks started fading. But we can't infer that from the post.

Granted, it was his mistake to say this out loud to his girlfriend. But that's just from not understanding his situation enough.

Because otherwise it's gonna be a shit show for both of them.

MrIrishman1212 · 2021-10-08T05:27:42+00:00

I think the top comment nailed it

Your BF told you he thinks you're only with him because you're not hot anymore. Basically, he said you'd do better than him if you could. If you were younger, or thinner.

This wasn't just a careless and unnecessary insult, it shows you something really ugly about his character. He's carrying a lot of bitterness and resentment towards the women who didn't fuck him when he was 20.

This isn't about you aging. This is about him revealing he is an asshole -- bitter and at least slightly misogynistic -- who might ditch you for a 21-year-old woman if he ever feels he can get one.

Yeah I was more physically attractive when I was younger. Would I date someone that age right now if I had the choice solely based on looks? Hell no, I value things differently and what I found attractive has changed. Who cares who she was dating 9 years ago! How is that relevant to her being with him now? He made a bullshit leap from, “you dated an attractive person when you were younger” to “that means you only date me know cause you can settle and take my money.” Like that is just straight insecurities.

At the end of the day, what do you offer to others? What do you want to receive from a partner? Can you bother come to a mutual agreeable relationship based in shared companionship, love, respect, and trust?

dirtyoven · 2021-10-08T06:16:22+00:00

My thing is, why are we looking so closely at women’s sexual history? We will be just as, if not more disgusted when we look at men’s track record, as we know either men will fuck everything with a hole, or they get none at all. It’s absolutely disgusting how it seems society wants women to answer for what we’ve done in the past sexually, when men don’t get the same expectation.

FlyingKite1234 · 2021-10-07T22:21:54+00:00

The boyfriend is an insecure loser.

FatPam007 · 2021-10-08T11:40:41+00:00

Such a typical nice guy... Typical of ugly men wanting to date supermodels or super hot chicks just because they're "nice". As a student and unattractive male, he didn't have any value. Now that he's older and has a career he has some providing value. He should be thanking an attractive female wanted to date him. This is why you don't date the nice guy

John_Oakman · 2021-10-07T20:59:54+00:00

AF/BB is just the demonization of women's maturing process. People do short term shit when they're young, stuff like partying around in college or joining the marine corps. Perhaps they did giver their physical best to those short term decisions back in the day but that doesn't mean they won't give their emotionally/mentally best now. But then again, most of the good folks here don't believe in growth of character, or good character at all for that matter.

DillonTheFatUglyMale · 2021-10-07T22:29:31+00:00

Yes men are right to be resentful that these types of women rejected them when they were nobodies and showed them attention when they made it.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-10-07T22:57:39+00:00

I understand how he could feel insecure seeing the picture, but his reaction was terrible, that kind of sentiment doesn’t just pop out of nowhere if there’s not an underlying issue, and I would be concerned about the outcome of marrying this person— is the resentment going to continue to impact his view and treatment of her? Is he going to feel justified to cheat on her if the opportunity arises because of FOMO? As for the pairing, it’s possible she may not have as much lust for him as she did for the athletic guys, but if she had sufficient lust and loves him (and if he’s the person she’s marrying, she probably likes him more in general than those other guys, beyond just the security / commitment factor. ) then he has to decide if that’s enough for him. There’s also the consideration that she’s not the same person either at 30 (or however old she is) as when she was younger, and her preferences may have shifted beyond just prioritization— she might think that some of the guys she dating when younger are fucking idiots now.

mllhild · 2021-10-08T09:12:26+00:00

men have to right to be angry and decide who they want to be with on whatever terms they want. If you agree with their opinion is your problem.

Dulce__Criatura · 2021-10-07T21:15:54+00:00

I find funny how she ended up with a doctor instead of the basktball player or someone similar to that dude, instead she is with a dude who wouldn't know his name 10 years ago. One thing is maturing and another is this, like literally a different kind of life.

NameGiver0 · 2021-10-08T07:13:52+00:00

That sub is 66% women and dominated by women with nothing better to do. Pure matriarchal gaslighting.

upalse · 2021-10-07T20:48:26+00:00

Is dual mating strategy simply women growing up?

Not really, because most women do primarily desire LTR from early on. There's no dual mating strategy, there's simply constantly failing at your single strategy of securing a high value mate.

Men are guilty of the same, though their primary desire is "owning" a woman.

gojo_satarou · 2021-10-08T14:04:56+00:00

Guys like him are idiots, he could've hooked up with 9's and 10's in his age (20's), he prolly is a bluepilled career oriented Man or prolly should've married a 5/10(average looking girl) lmao.

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pubgmisc · 2021-10-08T00:44:50+00:00

Alpha fux Beta bux yes, just as the male is with a wife and side chicks. How do you buffer both as a ruler of a civilization to ensure prosperity etc? Install monogamy, marriage, shame divorce, spinsters etc.

abaxeron · 2021-10-08T12:20:36+00:00

How would an average woman feel if she discovered a stash of pictures of her husband in his college years, naked, posing with a couple of burly bears with 80s-style mustache and full bdsm panoply? And him saying "oh, it's just my exes"? - She would feel something like this.

KickAss2021 · 2021-10-08T22:12:48+00:00

With my ex husband it took 7 years

My husband is shorter than my 2 exes by almost a foot

it's not only about money, it's comfort stability and not needing to put in any effort from women. a men so desperate to date a divorced women who usually dates taller guys will be a guy that puts up with anything, that's good for women

sootlord · 2021-10-09T00:14:54+00:00

No shock here at all

2021-10-10T21:14:59+00:00

Find another doctor...that one needs to do some growing up...resentment and jealousy over a picture from her past is ridiculously immature and a red flag...what's she supposed to do? Get in her time machine and change the past for him? Will that make him feel better? Just because he made it through med school, that doesn't necessarily mean he's emotionally matured too. It just means he's trainable. Maybe in time he'll stop being so petty and insecure but right now, with such childish behavior, he's definitely not marriage material yet.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2021-10-07T23:24:28+00:00

Mhhh interesting question. I will be ignoring the post linked though.

In my opinion, I think both are right.

I can understand why a girl would like athletes when she was young. They are both young and hot with really nothing left to lose.

At the same time I can also understand why the guy would be upset. He worked his butt off and girls like her wouldn't give him a second look. However, now that the time has passed and he is successful, regardless of her reasons, she now wants him. Likewise regardless of his reasons, he wants her.

In both cases these people want what they value, and neither of them is wrong for feeling what they feel. But at the same time neither can be mad at the other person.

Edit: love the down votes. It's just telling me that your mad become you don't like the fact that decision have consequences.

ToughAnswers · 2021-10-07T22:57:59+00:00

Are men right to feel those who didn't want me when i was doing the work, don't deserve the finished article (career-wise)?

There's no right or wrong. Just do the damn thing.

TryLambda · 2021-10-07T23:53:10+00:00

Nah, dual mating strategy is always there, women are biologically and socially programmed to do it.

Title	Does this post show dual mating strategy and the guy's repulsion towards it?
Author	Anantha1996
Upvotes	81
Comments	768
Date	October 7, 2021 8:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q3hvrl/does_this_post_show_dual_mating_strategy_and_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-this-post-show-dual-mating-strategy-and-the.1076842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076842

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