Are women (maybe men as well?) more open sexually with a partner they are attracted to physically?

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-11-26T03:04:28+00:00

Yes I think.

It would be very hard for me to imagine a woman so perfect that I'd let her peg me if it meant sex with her. But very hard not impossible.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2021-11-26T02:17:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

redheadbeauty15 · 2021-11-26T02:21:50+00:00

I would never have sex with someone who I was not sexually attracted to, that's some madness I just can't understand.

fawks24 · 2021-11-26T06:51:09+00:00

"True desire is non negotiable."

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-26T06:07:29+00:00

Dude, I've been with partners who have gotten fat or sloppy over the course of the relationship or I have just grown bored with them. Yes, I am less sexually open with a partner I don't find very sexually attractive. I may be able to get it up long enough to have a so so orgasm, but that doesn't mean I do my freaky deaky stuff I like with the women I am very attracted to.

Here is the issue with women and marrying men they don't find attractive. You need to understand that a woman is given two choices in life.

Choice #1 is: for her to go and fuck whatever guy she wants for whatever reason she wants, because he is funny, plays in a band, has tattoos, is charming or whatever without any expectations of being taken care of. A woman who does this is called a slut and told she has no self respect, because if she had self respect she would charge for her sex or at least exchange it for safety, commitment and financial rewards

This leads us to choice #2, which is that the woman should exchange her sex for safety, which in essence makes her a whore. The high value whore, the one that has an exclusive client who promises her safety till death do is apart is called a WIFE.

These are the choices a woman is given. Do what she wants and be labeled a whore, or settle for some guy who is unarousing to her but has promised to take care of her.

The problem of course is compounded by an innate need for women to have safety. Safety is the primary driver. In older times, daddy had a responsibility for the girl, and once she was of age he wanted to unload the responsibility to a hubby who would become the de facto daddy. The woman would then exchange daddy's last name for hubby's last name and she would be taken care of/safety.

This continues up until today of course with some variations and pretensions of progressiveness and feminism, but the reality is women are encouraged by society to seek safety first and do what they want later, which leads them to marrying men who are safe but sexually unexciting.

dbz19 · 2021-11-26T05:58:24+00:00

Yes of course.

Look at /r/deadbedrooms. They marry a guy they are attracted to, or maybe not even attracted to but just because he was "safe" and available. They have their children, years pass, he's now fatter, balder, and uglier, and they never have sex again. They don't even see him in a sexual way, despite him being their husband. They "love" him like a brother or a platonic friend, but not in a sexual romantic way, and the idea of having sex with their husband becomes literally traumatic.

Also look at all the women who were willing to do certain sexual acts with past boyfriends than with their current husbands. You see threads on reddit about it all the time. Their past boyfriends sexually excited them and awoke things in them that their current husbands simply can't.

Despite what people say, a woman who marries a guy who isn't as sexually attractive or sexually good in bed as her past boyfriends WILL compare him to her past boyfriends, 100%. I don't believe anyone who says they don't. And even if she loves her husband more on an emotional level, because he's comforting and he's the father of her children, it doesn't mean he excites her sexually more than her past boyfriends.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-26T03:36:11+00:00

Absolutely, I would think so, which is why if a woman is hesitant to be physical with you or refuses to do certain acts with you that she has done in the past enthusiastically with others, she's just not into you like that

Like when I first started having sex it was with an older woman who did encourage me to be more open with my Kinks and what I liked and I was with her, at least the stuff that I knew I liked at that point lol but let's say when it comes to something like eating ass, only done that with three girls and that was in large part because the attraction level was just off the charts, and it is something I like doing but I don't know not everybody gets the premium package I guess lol

upalse · 2021-11-26T02:35:24+00:00

Yes.

Counter-intuition: Kinks increase with uglyness/age (ie the uglier people are, they make up for it by assorted degeneracy).

Kitchen-Suspect-3370 · 2021-11-26T02:05:15+00:00

If genuine burning desire is absent, you can bet the bare minimum is what’s going on.

On the flip, when it is there, just about anybody will surprise themself at how far they’re willing to go to please a partner.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-11-26T02:23:22+00:00

Yes, the hornier I am, the more I'm willing to do because more shit appears hot.

BUT! As per usual: being comfterable with a partner is going to open the most openness. And that's emotionally, mentally AND physically comfterable.

Comfterable is mandatory, attractiveness is a lubricant. Without comfort, you don't get ANY spicy shit. Without attractiveness, you don't get the shit "post-nut" me finds gross.

Edit: ok, gross is badly formulated. Meh...is more appropriate.

cccccclairee · 2021-11-26T02:09:02+00:00

Yeah, if my partner turns me on im going to be more open. I’m not generally going to have sex with someone I’m not attracted to though. That article seems really sad.

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-11-26T04:05:39+00:00

Well I just won't have sex with someone I'm not attracted to. After that, I do what I feel like to depending on how they treat me. There are people who don't make you feel safe doing stuff at first. For example, anal. It takes more confidence in the other person's actions

Taipanshimshon · 2021-11-26T06:34:00+00:00

There are things I won't do with a anyone ever.

There are things that I might do with some girls sometimes.

If I don't want to do a thing with you that you want - and I've done it with other people- chances are I'm not too sexually attracted to you

KirthWGersen · 2021-11-26T07:01:48+00:00

It is not about physical attraction in itself, but there are some women who simply bring out greater sexual adventurousness in me. Something about their personality and their body makes me far more sexually attracted to them than women who, objectively speaking, are more attractive.

I enjoy sex with all kinds of woman, but some women simply inexplicably attract me ten times more once I get to know them. Sadly, they also tend to be emotionally out of control and bring trouble into my life. They are the ones I most fondly remember (and my friends hope I never meet again).

michael1962-01 · 2021-11-26T07:31:08+00:00

RP 101

If she is really into you the sex will be insane and happen soon or direct after meeting.

From my experience and hpov: Once one has hern really into you that way any different sex is lame a. F.

PopularBug5 · 2021-11-26T02:25:56+00:00

Definitely yes.

One IRL example - a woman showed me her boobs and openly talked to me about how her boobs got bigger due to her taking too much pills - and we weren't even fucking. We were friends but she on numerous occasions expressed her desire to have sex with me, though we couldn't due to distance.

This made me wonder if there’s a difference for a woman (or maybe a man as well) in what activities they might be ok with when they are with someone that.

I’m wondering if sex for them is limited positions, minimal foreplay, attempting to keep it quick, etc. (I would think yes because they’re not enjoying it, but do it out of obligation)

Sex can be remain vanilla but she looks forward to foreplay a lot if a girl genuinely likes you. Actually everything excites her. Sex with lots of foreplay, yes, vanilla sex, yes, quickies yes, kinky sex, yes.

She gets hornier than you if she likes you. I can't emphasize this enough.

The only difference is if a girl doesn't, then it's super-vanilla starfish sex with alcohol, and nothing else. When she doesn't want to do more than the bare minimum and makes excuses.

just_a_place · 2021-11-26T03:57:18+00:00

From experience I can tell you that plenty of women are sexually attracted to men that they don't care for.

Standard-Logic · 2021-11-26T17:38:21+00:00

Yes. Obviously.

If you're attractive you can finger bang hot chicks on the dance floor before getting your dick blown in the bathroom.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-11-27T00:27:10+00:00

Women are every bit as sexual and horny and into sex as men are.

They're just 100x more selective about what kind of person puts them in a sexual place.

Men get confused. Because as a gender we'll fuck anything with a pulse, we think women too will have a low bar for what it takes to be sexual.

This is a big source of discord between men and women.

It's funny, at first, to listen to newly Red Pilled men rage about how easy it is for low value women to get laid while it's hard work even for a decent looking man to get regular sex with decent looking partners. The first thing to point out is that getting regular sex from different good looking people on the regular is not something women even value.

Men's standards are just a lot lower. There are reasons for it, biologically and socially speaking.

Getting nuts about it is like getting nuts that the sky is blue, ice is cold, fire is hot and water is wet.

But I think women probably like "getting off" properly just as much as men do. They just require more things to be in place before that kind of thing will work for them.

unlivedbread · 2021-11-28T01:34:02+00:00

I don't eat girls out if I don't find them attractive enough. but if a girl is genuinely gorgeous I'd eat her ass no problem

SladeWilsonXL9 · 2021-11-26T01:59:00+00:00

Definitely, I’ll have sex with a woman I’m not that attracted too, but I’ll never go down on her. A woman I am attracted to though, I’ll eat her out. I’m talking pussy and asshole 🤤

rosesonthefloor · 2021-11-26T02:29:38+00:00

Of course people are more likely to initiate or be enthusiastic about sex with someone they’re more attracted to. I couldn’t imagine having sex with someone I wasn’t attracted to at all.

Re: trying more things or pushing past “soft boundaries”, it’s much more about the emotional environment/personality of the other person than straight up physical attraction. If I’m talking to a guy who is very attractive but makes it clear that he’s judgmental of others’ sexual preferences, then I’m less likely to be enthusiastic than if he was open-minded, for fear of that judgement.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-11-26T05:24:22+00:00

Of course. If a chick is really attracted to you she'll do anything, swallow, anal, you name it. In fact it's one of the ways that you'll know if your girl sees you as the alpha fux or a beta bux.

As for men I think that men just won't be excited about having sex and simply just won't do it very well. Take Will and Jada for instance. She's here complaining that Will isn't hitting it right when she's the one with a bald head. She probably just doesn't turn him on enough for him to hit it right. O

CimZim · 2021-11-26T01:52:04+00:00

Well, yeah. Of course partner attractiveness matters and you're going to want sex more often with someone you're attracted to. I don't see any benefit it pursuing a non-asexual relationship with anyone who doesn't look good to you.

Looks 50%, personality 50%. Missing either one = failure.

ToughAnswers · 2021-11-26T01:47:53+00:00

Marriage isn't about sex. It's about a stable environment to raise children, among other things. Or at least that's the idea...the glorified quickie that is modern marriage, breakable at any time for no reason or any reason, isn't really about anything 🤮a sacrifice made for nothing, another box for neurotic class striving box checkers to check

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-11-26T04:07:23+00:00

I'm a nasty motherfucker so if the girl is ok then I can pretty much do to her whatever it crosses her mind.

Girls on the other hand yeah, the most attractive her partner the more willing she's going to be to at least give it a try (or want to too).

I've been with my fair share of women and while not all the most good looking girls were bad lay and viceversa, there is quite an overlap between looks and level of kinkyness and hotness in the sex, absolutely.

In fact I developed a "thing" for meh looking girls during my ho phase because they were more eager to comply to all my sexual requests. So at some point my head was like "do I want 20 minutes starfish with a good looking gal or an entire night of sloppy enthusiastic blowjobs, rimming, butt stuff, sex in the shower, in the balcony, in the shower, in the kitchen, in the dog, more blowjobs and a golden shower with an average girl?"

So I took the average girl everytime. It wasn't the hardest desition you know.

I can't tell what the girls did with their past partners, maybe all the average girls I slept with were equally freaky with all the guys, but if you ask me they were putting their best effort because they were pleased to be with a good looking guy.

As for the article...

I mean, you need to see it as what it is.

The women got a nice ring, a wedding, a house, a car, kids, some pets, emotional support, company, friendship, the guys are hard kind, generous, honest, hard working dudes and also greath husbands, fathers and providers.

The girls just don't want to have sex with the guys.

Well... That's marriage.

As I said a million times before, marriage is for a house, a car, kids and bills, not for sex.

Marriage - hot wild sex

You can pick one.

Lonely_23_1997 · 2021-11-26T01:45:44+00:00

In the way you described openness(more positions, pushing boundaries etc) I don’t think partner attractiveness really impacts it. If someone has a sexual boundary or something they are uncomfortable with, it is what it is.

However in terms of passion, enthusiasm and enjoyment, partner attractiveness definitely has a big impact. People will be way more into the sex and enthusiastic about it if they find their partner attractive.

Schicksalschatzz · 2021-11-26T03:23:47+00:00

Duh?

M4sterDis4ster · 2021-11-26T13:15:58+00:00

Yes, ofcourse they are. So are men.

Even babies like to look at pretty faces of both sexes and cry on ugly faces of both faces.

Its biology.

ogsimpology · 2021-11-26T17:19:20+00:00

Bruh ofcourse. If your hormones are rushing because you're super attracted to the person, you'll do almost anything that doesn't hurt at the moment.

NaturalQueer · 2021-11-26T17:21:55+00:00

Sometimes yeah I assume so.

But I know people will say all women settle and that’s why sex is always different when Once married. Sometimes it’s also about being young and insecure. Like sometimes both men and women will do stuff they don’t want to cause they’re insecure and feel like they really can’t no. And sometimes what you likes changes and sometimes your body will get certain limitations as you get older, and your responsibilities change as well and you don’t always have time or energy for the same things.

So I think there is a lot of reasons why someone may have done certain acts in the past but don’t now.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-11-26T20:54:51+00:00

Water is wet too btw

introversed · 2021-11-28T06:05:21+00:00

Yeah, I’d say people are more open in that case.

Part of exploring sexual kinks with a partner is that sometimes you’re gonna be trying things that you’re not really into yourself, meaning that you’ll sometimes be having sex in a way that you’re not 100% into, and those moments are much much easier when you’re attracted to a partner physically.

Bandit174 · 2021-11-26T01:52:22+00:00

Yeah probably. It makes sense if the guy is attractive she'll be more arroused and less inhibited. I don't think it's as much of a factor for men tho. I think men have lower thresholds for attraction and aren't going to be less interested in certain sex act based on the attractiveness of the woman.

a lot of women said they were in the same situation. The general theme was the same… they loved them, (often children), but were never ever sexually attracted to them.

Again this makes sense when you consider most women end up married to men who are average or worse in most categories and compare that with how a man with average traits doesn't meet women's preferences in any category and is probably a downgrade in most categories compared to the caliber of men she was able to have casual sex with.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-11-26T17:14:38+00:00

I screw my FWBs with passion. When I masturbate, I actively fantasize about them.

I’ve dated men who I wasn’t physically attracted to, when I was younger and the sex was …. Awkward for me, but he loved it. I know how to fake it, and back then, I was young and thought I “had to give him a chance because he’s a “”good man”””

That man wanted to move fast and was already talking about marriage and kids in the first 3 months of dating.

I did not enjoy that sex as much as the sex I crave with my FWBs.

He was fit, successful (ph.D in computer science), tall (6’1), he was a boxing coach at a local gym and he had a full head of hair.

I’m just not attracted to white men anymore. I’m a white woman and ALL of my FWBs are black, African, Caribbean, or Afro-Latinx. Idk why these men make my motor run. Idk.

Oh god, black men are just so sexy and hot, and taken for granted….. truly a shame how they’re treated in this country. God the sex is mind blowing, too, and they KNOW, they KNOW what they’re doing in bed. 😍

My ex was white and I just couldn’t do it. He said something minor but distasteful one morning and I used that as an excuse to leave the relationship. I just wasn’t sexually attracted to him and sex is important to me.

AdTructer · 2021-11-26T15:15:36+00:00

VEry low iq question

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CosmicBioHazard · 2021-11-26T04:54:42+00:00

As a man I think I’d be more willing to indulge the sexual fantasies of a woman the more attracted to her I was; but that’s not purely a matter of ‘physically’, the more I like her overall the more I’d want to do with her.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2021-11-26T07:01:21+00:00

Well, duh, of course they are. Everyone is.

healththrow345 · 2021-11-26T07:13:50+00:00

This is why I can't date a man I find unattractive no matter how nice of a personality. I've also seen same on askwomen 90% said it's the worst decision and they never wanted to do anything intimate.

Gigamon2014 · 2021-11-26T07:56:04+00:00

Honestly, polyamory is a small community but the majority of couples I met involved a woman who would fuck other men and the guy would watch. How much this had to do with a lack of attraction, I couldn't tell. Redpillers look at stuff like this too zero sum. Women tend not to go into a relationship with zero attraction to a partner but plenty do settle and eventually lose interest in the man they're with.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2021-11-26T10:24:55+00:00

Are women (maybe men as well?) more open sexually with a partner they are attracted to physically?

Both sexes are more sexually open with more attractive partners. Even in same-sex partnerships. The hotter the person the more leverage they have.

Need_wine · 2021-11-26T21:32:32+00:00

I can’t say, the times I wasn’t really into sex with men was because of how he treated me, usually stopped putting in effort once he felt like I wasn’t going anywhere. I bet this scenario is more common than the woman just flat out not being attracted to him.

Sewud · 2021-11-30T15:22:44+00:00

No. I guess it's different for different people, but for me it's not about my sexual attraction to someone. How much I want to have sex is a function of the following things:

my people pleasing ways (I'm deathly afraid of disappointing people, so I want to be the coolest girlfriend who has all the sex you could want, not like your friend's boring girlfriend, I'll just have sex all the time with as little nos as possible)
my fear of sex (maybe my people pleasing ways led me to being raped the last time and now I don't want a penis near my vagina)
my willingness to get an abortion (I'm always using contraception I'm not dumb, but in the advent that it could fail if I start feeling like I'm not okay with getting an abortion I get more reluctant to have sex)
diseases (I suppose if I had chronic abdominal or pelvic pain I might become less keen on having sex)
fear of strangers / fear of fuckboys / fear of certain people (I've always disliked hot popular fuckboys because I fear them and so I can't get close to them, there's also people that just give you danger vibes and that's a no)
the pressure the guy puts on me (sadly this works and it's a big one for me, and it's not about how attracted I am to the guy, it's just about how much pressure he puts, it can be an ugly guy putting pressure, it works all the same)

But these things are more about having sex, not about what position to try lol. For me it's sex or no sex, the activities won't be different by person, or well sex is the activity.

You could take it a step further and say if someone was very physically attracted to someone else they might even do things they didn’t really like or want, maybe in an attempt to impress or keep the other person… or possibly their boundaries are just more lax in general when they are more turned on.

For me that's the thing I really disagree with. It's not like I'm more likely to have sex with the guy I find most physically attractive. It's just that I'm more likely to have sex with the guy who is the most pushy. It's not right, I'm not trying to reward being pushy, it's just that being pushy works, at least on weak minded doormat people. But I never want to please someone more because they are attractive. It's just about my own conditioning where I feel I have to give people what they ask for.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-11-26T02:42:56+00:00

I think it depends. I’ve never been physically attracted to men really(I’m assuming you’re referring to looks). I’m also asexual so how sexually open I am depends on how romantically attracted I am and how much o like him as a person.

It sounds like what the women in the article were describing is familial love. They’re not physically attracted to their husbands, nor do they feel romantic love/attraction towards them so it’ll make the sex a little stale,inconsistent, and dispassionate.

For me because the romantic attraction is still there I like sexually pleasing my partner because I know it’s something that makes them happy. As long as it’s not something that crosses a hard boundary of mine I’m willing to enthusiastically oblige whatever they want.

If the romantic attraction is there I do notice I start to kind of get completely disgusted by the idea of sex and avoidant. If this happens though, I just break up with them.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-11-26T11:55:15+00:00

I’m more open with partners I know intimately, regardless of how objectively attractive they are. I’m a private person and I don’t open up to just anyone about my basest desires. I’d have to know them and trust them to keep it between us to do a lot of the stuff I would love to do. But most of the men I’ve slept with are pretty vanilla so the point is moot.

midwestufohunter · 2021-11-27T01:25:00+00:00

Doesn’t compute.

If I’m not into my partner we’re not having sex more than once.

If I am into them I’m into them? Each bf I have been more into than the last there isn’t more or less once it’s at that level it’s a 10/10.

Whitewasabi69 · 2021-11-28T09:45:49+00:00

Yes next question

Mossimo5 · 2021-11-29T18:05:00+00:00

Yes. Obviously.

Title	Are women (maybe men as well?) more open sexually with a partner they are attracted to physically?
Author	bcollegec
Upvotes	67
Comments	210
Date	November 26, 2021 1:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r2bsya/are_women_maybe_men_as_well_more_open_sexually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-maybe-men-as-well-more-open-sexually.1086519 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086519

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