Are monogamous relationships becoming obsolete?

sernamedeleted · 2021-12-27T04:30:16+00:00

Despite a rise in the occurrence of non-monogamous relationships, it's nowhere near the percentage needed to claim monogamy is becoming obsolete. It's within the normal fluctuations of human behavior. It's just as likely that the trend could reverse and monogamous relationships could become more common in the next generation. Keep in mind that the free love and swing culture of the 60s and 70s had very little statistical impact, and while marriage is less common, non-married relationships are still predominantly intended to be monogamous. I don't think you can count infidelity as non-monogamy, since it's a breach of the relationship altogether.

If your question is: "I is non-monogamy becoming more acceptable and commonplace?"

Then the answer is yes currently it is, but there's no guarantee that trend will continue. The pandemic may lead to more monogamy in the future simply because of less overall social interaction worldwide.

TheX141710 · 2021-12-27T04:58:19+00:00

I’m a teacher. I will tell you something a lot of people don’t want to hear...

Divorce and blended families and all the other stuff that comes with it, messes kids up far more than people like to think. I see it every day. I am not a conservative person, but I think when you decide to have kids you need to try all you can to remain monogamous and make it work.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-27T03:24:27+00:00

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CFinCanada · 2021-12-27T04:27:55+00:00

I don't understand why childfree couples are being conflated with non-monogamy in this post when we have lower infidelity rates than couples with kids do.

If monogamy is on the decline, blame the breeders for setting an undesirable example.

Champagne_george99 · 2021-12-27T03:34:40+00:00

Yes, but not for the reasons you state imo.

First if all, Only Fans creators and Queer people still marry…

I think child rates are plummeting because having a kid is really expensive, and peoples wages aren’t increasing much, specially considering the inflation rates right now. Most people live in cities because it makes lives easier, except for one thing, kids. Having one child in a small apartment is already complicated, imagine 2 or 3.

I also think, when it comes to marriage, young people don’t get married because they are becoming less religious. Marriage as an institution has always been tied to the church, so if you’re it religious, why marry? Is not like the government offers much benefits to married couples other than a few tax credits (at least in America), plus, weddings are expensive. That doesn’t mean people aren’t cresting monogamous unions, a lot of people are deciding to live as concubines, which makes a separation easier and less expensive, considering that half of all marriages end in divorce and some can be really expensive.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-12-27T12:22:20+00:00

sigh no OP. Some people do form romantic connections with each other still, and while they may not find use in the relationship, they still love and commit to each other.

houstongradengineer · 2021-12-27T14:50:13+00:00

Go out and try to find a woman to be non-monogomous and sexual with. THEN tell me monogomous relationships are obsolete. If you are correct, tell the manosphere to STFU about their sexual complaints.

Nacer_Or · 2021-12-27T15:27:20+00:00

Coz this generation wants absolutely to be "different" and be special with a specific identity. The freedom they have, they use it to be special, and do whatever they want, if they have some fucked up cheating kink they will try to make it seem like it's a normal thing and call that "open relationship " or "non monogamous". No u're just a sex addict that likes pussy and dick and can't stick to one person but don't wanna accept the hard truth so u give urself a special name and act like it's something normal xd

cx456f · 2021-12-27T03:19:00+00:00

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flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-27T04:36:00+00:00

It isn't obsolete. It's just no longer a requirement. And I don't see how that can be a bad thing.

CorporalDavid · 2021-12-27T05:11:37+00:00

It doesn't make financial sense to have kids. It already makes some sense to not marry, and it will probably come to the point where dating won't make sense, like in Asia; especially Japan.

Yes, monogamy will still be a thing, especially in religious communities. It'll just be less of a thing. To be honest, having less people in the world isn't really a bad thing. Politicians freak out about plummeting birth rates, but frankly I don't see the problem, besides struggles to support large elderly populations. Overpopulation is already a huge problem, is less people honestly that terrible? It just seems like a non-issue that won't affect anyone individually. Honestly, I'd rather focus on larger issues like climate change.

y2kjanelle · 2021-12-27T06:29:32+00:00

No. Obviously not. People are having less children because they’re more educated, feel less social pressure about it, and it’s damn expensive.

OF doesn’t mean people don’t want to get married…? And doesn’t mean you’re not relationship material?

No fault divorce isn’t a bad thing. Finances go through an algorithm. If you don’t want to pay more, don’t divorce or divorce someone who has a similar lifestyle/income. Have your assets before you get married. Don’t engage in traditional housewife/worker husband marriages. Also, women suffer more financially than men do in divorces (they are less well off after a divorce) but still initiate divorce more often.

Queer people can still be monogamous…

Monogamy allows people to be selfish and people love to be selfish. It’s not always a bad thing either. But monogamy is not going away any time soon.

ToughAnswers · 2021-12-27T03:52:04+00:00

Imagine committing in current year 🤣

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-12-27T03:11:02+00:00

Faithful women are less and less easy to find. With social media and dating apps they are getting that validation. I'd never get into a "monogamous relationship" again. Most I'll do is FWB because I'm assuming she's being unfaithful so I might as well have the option. Demand labs every 3 months and jimmy up every time.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-12-27T03:37:46+00:00

I think you couldn't be more wrong. Monogamous relationships is exactly what people need right now.

Females today is just increasingly entitled and they have a false hyper-consumerist view of the world. It really takes a lot of energy for most young men to get sex from the average girl today. All the time in the gym, money he has to make and spend, all the mental energy in strategizing, then all the time chasing her around.

All that is time and energy that could have been put into accomplishing their goals. Because it's also becoming harder and harder to make it today and you really need to devote all your attention into that. So it's much better to have a girl and to be able to get sex on demand so you don't have to spend all that energy into chasing girls. Yes I know that a relationship also requires energy as well, but you waste more energy being single.

One of the reasons that immigrants come here and our kicking our asses is because they don't have to spend all this energy chasing and impressing girls. Their girls are just not as entitled as our girls. For example I once went to the party of an Indian classmate of mine and I couldn't believe how they all had pretty girls at home. These guys are not cool, don't dress nice, and are not spending every day in the gym. Instead they are free to focus on becoming doctors and engineers.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-12-27T04:28:38+00:00

Its not that monogamous relationships are obsolete, its that monogamous relationships are unnecessary.

If you look at it through that lens, everything will make sense.

Maleficent-Brief-178 · 2021-12-27T03:41:02+00:00

Monogamy was beneficial to men because it was a guarantee of genetic offspring feminism and modern society killed male possessionalism (healthy and unhealthy alike) that add invention of readily available and cheap parental test combine to create very little benefit for monogamy for men

Monogamy was "potentially" beneficial for women because it was a guarantee of lifetime provisions protection and care from a productive partner. the state has stepped in to guarantee most women, through education, job security and government benefits. provisions, protection and care there for very little benefit to monogamy for women

Modern society allows people to indulge in emotional psychological and sexual equality and mutual enjoyment without the burden of biological responsibility or traditional moralism so yes monogamy is currently in its final death throws. least in western society

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-27T03:37:14+00:00

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TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-27T05:16:24+00:00

No. Just less popular because want have cake and eat too.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-12-27T09:04:33+00:00

Don’t know what it is like where y’all are but it seems like after the initial Covid lockdown in 2020, all my little cousins and my friends’ kids are getting engaged and/or married and starting to have kids of their own. My daughter just got engaged on Christmas Eve. Did you know Disney had a line of engagement rings? I didn’t. Anyway, in short, people are still having monogamous relationships. Most women don’t actually have OnlyFans accounts btw.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-12-27T10:22:08+00:00

What does the rise in open queerness have to do with non-monogamous relationships? Those are separate phenomena. Increasing liberalism/progressiveness makes way for both of them, but they're separete things. Plenty of queer folks wanna be monogamous too, and if anything, I think open queerness allows them to be more monogamous now, because now they can make their relationships more "official " and therefore harder to break.

Standard-Logic · 2021-12-27T14:17:27+00:00

No.

What these things are revealing is how a large chunk of the population is inherently incompatible with monogamy.

This is good. It allows women and men of high sociosexuality to reveal their true, genetically pre-disposed colors before someone of lesser sociosexuality commits to them and is, unsurprising, cheated on.

clitorophagy · 2021-12-27T14:20:26+00:00

Nah, families are still relevant.

What are the positives of non-commital polyamory? Are there any long term positives?

lkfb94 · 2021-12-27T14:52:27+00:00

There are active efforts to reduce the population by any means.

1 child rule. Infertility inducing diets, medication, and lifestyles. Attacking the idea of family. Promoting lifestyles from which children do not come.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2021-12-27T15:28:11+00:00

I mean take one look at this sub and other and it seems like nearly everyone still desires a monogamous relationship. I know I do, I’d say people who truly don’t want that at all are few and far between

Glarkin42 · 2021-12-27T03:58:43+00:00

Essentially, most women are going to become permanent plates or serial monogamist who collect more and more baggage.

Men are probably going to sit back and switch back and fourth between masturbating to new VR and watching society crumble around them.

Ultimately the inevitable destruction of modern society is maybe the best thing that could happen.

Barneysparky · 2021-12-27T03:26:09+00:00

You do know that Onlyfans took off when strip clubs closed down right?

I swear you guys think every attractive young woman is an at-home stripper now.

SpicyHotTake · 2021-12-27T04:08:16+00:00

I hope so. I'm all for women staying away from men who can't love them anyway.

Protomize · 2021-12-27T03:18:14+00:00

I won’t get married or cohabitate again. Need to be able to smoothly break free with no financial consequences incase she or I no longer want to continue the relationship. I can say that I am glad I have a child who I adore with all of my heart. It removes any drive for me to really pursue women again since I no longer want to formulate another long term, committed relationship. I just casually date one woman until red flags show up or the spark is gone. Then onto the next.

jojojijo333 · 2021-12-27T03:47:26+00:00

In the West yes. The best strategy for men is using the West for fucking and making money then move to the East, raise a family and fuck on the side. There are some good women but the work to find them and deal with an anti-male environment is not worth it.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-27T03:31:06+00:00

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DeJuanBallard · 2021-12-27T05:22:47+00:00

Removing comments proves you are censoring things you don't like. Your not "keeping the conversation civil" you are pushing your agenda through silencing people you disagree with. And I don't respect you.

EnteFetz · 2021-12-27T09:43:02+00:00

Women prefer to be pumped and dumped by Chad over commiting to a guy who would actually be faithful to her. That is the only reason why monogamy is on the decline. Women choose to hook up with hot men who are actively spinning other plates while most men can't get laid at all.

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ChocolateSharp · 2021-12-27T03:15:58+00:00

Yes.

LotBuilder · 2021-12-27T05:15:29+00:00

The world changes. Monogamy has been the norm for roughly 1000 years. No other primates are monogamous. Monogamy is a marriage system, not a dating system.

Monogamy evolved in humans when low-ranking males changed tack from competing with the higher-ranked rivals to revealing their more caring side to potential suitors.

DeJuanBallard · 2021-12-27T05:21:46+00:00

ruboyuri · 2021-12-27T05:36:23+00:00

Nope. There aren’t better options or alternatives

DonBullDor · 2021-12-27T05:40:23+00:00

I think the best option is to approach dating with indifference, you just need to have that mentality

xDankHorse · 2021-12-27T05:46:26+00:00

Are monogamous relationships becoming obsolete?

No.

There's still plenty of people entering exclusive relationships.

lissssa-13 · 2021-12-27T05:55:13+00:00

Once you’ve come out as any of the letters in LGBTQ admitting you want to fuck people you aren’t married to doesn’t seem like such a big thing to state.

Chaos_and_Horny · 2021-12-27T11:06:33+00:00

no its not becoming obsolete

SecondCar-865106 · 2021-12-27T11:48:58+00:00

Once this generation of non-monogamy and childfree dies out, the next generation will be children from monogamous couples.

This is the way nature works - weaker genes die out. Children from monogamous couples have advantage.

Sen_ri · 2021-12-27T12:24:51+00:00

Humans seem most often predisposed to serial monogamy

Blackagar59 · 2021-12-27T12:29:29+00:00

Looks at my gf.

Looks on the 4 weddings I have scheduled for 2022.

Checks I'm only 30 years old.

Dunno bro, doesn't feel like it.

Wildhouse83 · 2021-12-27T14:10:46+00:00

Maybe not obsolete but definitely very dangerous for men.

That__EST · 2021-12-27T17:43:37+00:00

What I'm seeing anecdotally, is that Gen Z has this extended adolescence. In their parents generation, they pretty much married the person who they were dating as a young adult, and they could afford to do so financially. I talk one on one to a lot of teenagers and for them, everything is so expensive. Especially housing. So marriage will happen in the distant future. I'm also seeing a lot of children from intact families who have parents who have confided in them that they want a divorce. Which I don't think is great, but it definitely has made several of them not be in any rush to make a life long commitment.

I've also talked in the past about sex here, and how parents are probably the most open to their teenagers having sex, which from my personal has taken a good 80% of the fun out of it for the girls. Teens aren't dating and having the old boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. They're "best friends" who have sex from time to time. And there is little urgency or excitement involved with it.

I have had a pet hypothesis for awhile that humans pair bond best with people who they meet when they're teens or very young adults. I'm a Millennial who was definitely discouraged against settling down too early. "Jokingly" people said that you don't need to marry until you're 35. I think a lot of those Gen X folks who gave that advice were burned out from their own parents divorces and we're trying to find that sweet spot to avoid divorce. And unfortunately I don't think there is one. I think a large chunk of our population is not naturally monogamous and they chafe against life long monogamy. But everything comes with trade offs and it's a rare person who can successfully be non monogamous.

yabbobay · 2021-12-27T19:29:48+00:00

I know that most claim monogamy was just a social/economic system, but there are many studies that maintain that monogamy is an evolved trait in primates and humans to prevent infanticide. As a man, if you want your DNA to live on, you need to protect your woman and baby from other males who will kill your baby and impregnate your woman.

Of course, not everyone has this trait. In modern times, it's not as important, so it may evolve away.

James72701 · 2021-12-27T20:18:45+00:00

Probably not until both romance and Herpes are obsolete — so not for a while.

ChildhoodTop2283 · 2021-12-27T21:39:34+00:00

People were saying this in the sixties during the sexual revolution, they said it in the 80s when gay people wanted equal rights.

Yet here we are, people date, marry and have children just fine.

ragman75 · 2021-12-27T23:32:27+00:00

If anything we will not see a rise open relationships we will see a rise in polygamy, incels and femcels. This current trajectory will not lead to everyone fucking everyone because most men just cannot feel any kind of romantic attachment to a woman who is sleeping with other men, moreover most women do not really want variety. And finally queers have no bearing either way since queer relationship culture is insular to the rest of society and they make up such a tiny percentage of the population.

AidsVictim · 2021-12-28T22:57:13+00:00

No, it's just a general symptom of social breakdown and dysfunction in general. People are failing to have significant stable relationships at all.

IcarusKiki · 2021-12-27T03:14:55+00:00

AnonRb6 · 2021-12-27T08:58:34+00:00

I think monogamy is still the most common despite all this talk about the ''new wave'' of polygamous relationships.

Which at the same time, guys realise poly relationships 9/10 favours the women.

And guess which community pushed poly? Feminism... Another garbage thinking.

Again who gave women the right to vote and have their opinions spread and shared out loud? Because so far it has done nothing but harm to society... (4-5 wave feminism)

Teflon08191 · 2021-12-27T03:36:17+00:00

I think so, yeah. Though I'm onboard with the idea of monogamy, specifically when it comes to raising kids, I see no real point in any hard commitments to it. For better or worse I think serial monogamy has become the model that makes the most sense in our increasingly atomized society.

sernamedeleted · 2021-12-27T03:59:03+00:00

Neptune-Jr · 2021-12-27T05:01:17+00:00

No. All that other stuff taking off isn't killing monogamy. Most people still prefer to have a relationship with a single partner for the long term.

throwaway042994 · 2021-12-27T05:06:34+00:00

I think it's going the path of "serial monogamous" relationships with people not being married. Still monogamous but hopping from one guy to the next, just being your turn to prove you're the perfect guy for her and her crotch spawn.

sisyphuslasvegas · 2021-12-27T11:15:47+00:00

Yes..it's not feasible for people that want it long term without marriage. I also don't think it's necessary any longer unless you want marriage and children which the former being a disaster...so the logical move is to simply keep it hook ups and netflix and chill.

Title	Are monogamous relationships becoming obsolete?
Author	SpicyHotTake
Upvotes	28
Comments	381
Date	December 27, 2021 3:05 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rpd2gb/are_monogamous_relationships_becoming_obsolete/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-monogamous-relationships-becoming-obsolete.1090493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090493

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