Q4ALL: How common do you think Foodie Calls are?

basebornmanjack41 · 2022-08-12T07:39:15+00:00

I would be pretty surprised if even one of the women I’ve dated went on a date solely for free food. Maybe I’m just not dating close enough to the poverty line but I feel like that’s a lot of stress and effort for someone to go to just to get fed when they could order something for $20

gladusgates · 2022-08-12T07:44:36+00:00

There are statistics out there somewhere. It has not happened to me (to my knowledge), but there's really no way to tell if that was her primary intention unless women admit it. I'd look for an anonymous survey.

poppy_blu · 2022-08-12T07:20:52+00:00

Didn’t the studies posted here mention 25/30 percent of women admitted to at least once going on a “foodie call”?

I personally did not go on a date with a man unless I was interested in a relationship with him.

poppy_blu · 2022-08-12T10:18:16+00:00

Most women here are working white collar professionals, so none are spending time with men they don’t want for a free meal. Maybe it’s more common among lower income women but even then i doubt it’s as common as men here pretend it is.

To me it’s just another way to deflect not being able to close the deal as something wrong with her. “I never get a second date because they only want the free meals/validation.” Just like “my wife left me cause she’s hypergamous.”

2022-08-12T10:01:41+00:00

As much as I love the idea of free food - the fact that I'm spending it with someone I'm not interested in would kinda kill the enjoyment - no?

Like, can you really enjoy a meal whilst having to constantly pretend you're interested in the person opposite you, when you clearly aren't ?

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-08-12T07:49:08+00:00

I don’t think this is common at all. Maybe less than 10 percent of women. On Instagram I see women on girls trips, I see them out to brunch with their female friends, I see them at dinner with their female friends. Most women are more than capable of paying their half of the bill. I know a woman making 15 an hour and still managed to buy herself Uber eats a couple times a week.

If someone is consistently rejecting their matches all that means is that when they meet them in person they determine they are not attracted to that person. People are looking for their future partners they arnt trying to feed someone’s ego because they paid for a meal.

I don’t think it’s offensive. I think that life has its gender roles and if a man has an issue with paying for a meal then he’s free to ask the women to split or not date.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-12T09:30:50+00:00

I think it's not that common. Considering how much meals actually cost and how splitting is the default so you can't count on the other person being willing to pay, it's a lot of effort to go through for food abd an experience you won't properly enjoy. I'd imagine it's more common situationally because if someone just says "let me buy you dinner" it may seem like a good deal in the moment even if you're not really into them. I'd imagine someone could fit thus pattern if they have some other reason stopping them from going on second dates and others are paying for their first dates some of the time, so what happens is "subconscious". It can look like a "foodie call" whenever one person paid for a date and the other person declined another for whatever reason. If you don't want to lose money you can simply split the bill, go somewhere cheaper or don't eat (tbh if you just eat on a date that's a bit boring). It's not really offensive to bring up the possibility but it does seem a bit paranoid.

altar-of-autumn · 2022-08-12T12:55:52+00:00

I really don’t think women are willing to put up with an hour of a man they don’t like talking to them for a meal.

rosesonthefloor · 2022-08-12T11:23:14+00:00

I don’t know any of my friends that have done that, nor have I done that myself.

I think that some women do it out of a sense of “well idk if I’m really interested in him but he invited me out for dinner so I’ll go and see” and then he pays but they didn’t feel a connection so it ends there. And then you probably get some types (that probs listen to Call Her Daddy or some shit, or FDSers) who expect to be wined and dined from the jump, so they won’t accept anything less than a dinner first date as the baseline, especially if they’re not super into the guy to start. These two types probably make up the most of the group in your third question, I’d guess.

To avoid this, avoid women who ONLY accept a dinner date as a first date. If you meet for coffee or drinks or another activity first, you’re much less likely to run into the type that does foodie calls, intentionally or otherwise.

I don’t think it’s offensive to bring up, but I think the FDS/CHD, “get your bag and make sure he pays for all of your shit and treats you like a princess always” crowd gets triggered by the conversation and the implication/idea that men don’t have to immediately cater to them to be good men. Men are rightfully wary of these women, who set relationships as antagonistic (him vs me, what can I get out of him) from the beginning.

Hoopy223 · 2022-08-12T14:55:27+00:00

Plenty of people out there will always say yes to free stuff. You will have guy friends who always show up when you are buying drinks but never the other way around, you will meet plenty of women who are interested in a “date” but suddenly have to leave when the food and drinks wind down etc. It happens.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-08-12T16:26:23+00:00

Not for a $20 meal.

But if someone offers a date to a $200+ per person restaurants. A girl may think twice about it. Even if she has no interest in the guy.

Also dependent on the socio-economic status of the people you are around. Like Miami. Where their is a large disparity between the women and men.

JustSmores · 2022-08-12T07:32:48+00:00

Tell them that they’re paying for their own meal when you ask them out.

duskst0ne · 2022-08-12T08:24:34+00:00

I think most women are not so desperate for a free dinner that they're willing to spend their evening with someone that they definitely don't like at all. I'm not going to sit through an entire awkward dinner and pretend to be interested in a guy just for a $20 meal.

I think for some women it can be a factor that pushes a guy from "meh I dunno, I'm not really feeling it" into "well if we don't hit it off, at least I get a meal out of it". Does this bother men though? Aren't you guys constantly complaining that women should give you a chance instead of just rejecting you immediately?

(I can point to a thread where a lot of the replies sounded like this, so it kinda sparked my interest in the topic.)

Sure

vogel777 · 2022-08-12T09:57:46+00:00

It's something I've never done and I've never heard of being done irl by any woman I've known. We can buy or make our own dinner, its not worth the time and effort to go on a date with a gut you have no interest in just to get a free burger.

The only person I knew who was obsessed with getting free meals was a guy I worked with. He based his whole week around being able to eat at other peoples homes, his parents, his girlfriends house, other friends houses. On nights he wasn't invited anywhere to eat he skipped eating dinner.

I can only see this being a thing for women who do the whole sugar baby thing, or perhaps in response to sleazy pua approaching women who then string the idiot along and even then most will likely just tell the sleaze to F-off.

For most women it's just not something they do so it's just another example of men's paranoia and projection in regards to women. Holding with this paranoid fantasy perhaps makes men feel justified in their own exploitation of women and I think it also speaks of male entitlement. Deep down some men feel entitled to women and to sex with women and are resentful of anything they have to do in order to obtain access to women and sex with women. They feel women should just submit to them instead of as they see it making them jump through unnecessary hoops.

purplish_possum · 2022-08-12T13:41:17+00:00

I've met several women who will accept dates with guys they're not really interested in so they can go to a nice restaurant. They seem to justify it by telling themselves they're giving him a chance.

I had a FWB who would call me to pick her up if she really wasn't feeling a date. She'd tell her date that she had a family emergency and that her brother was coming to pick her up (she's Samoan and I'm Puerto Rican so it seemed plausible). I picked her up with my beat-up Ford pickup truck in front of some very pricy San Francisco restaurants.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-12T09:31:38+00:00

Not that c9mmon. The effort of go8ng on a date with s9meone you're not interested in hardly seems worth a free meal.

badsign12 · 2022-08-12T13:24:50+00:00

I think it's rare. I've always paid for most of the entertainment I engaged in with a woman I was dating or in a relationship with. It's not worth pushing the issue. I'm also much older than anyone here, so my early dating involved paying with shells and trinkets.

Too much is made of this by both men and women.

throwaway264757 · 2022-08-12T15:23:48+00:00

I don't really do foodie calls. But I do weed calls. I use Reddit to do it too. I post in r4r in my area saying I'm horny and I need weed. Very rarely do I actually fuck the guy I get weed from though. But I mean I'm not technically lying or anything. I really am both horny and looking for weed. So there's a chance I would fuck the guy who gave me weed. Like what I'm gonna do tonight with this brown gigachad. He's a gigachad though. A lot of guys on Reddit are older white guys and don't appeal to me. I still lead them on for weed. Knowing I'm not gonna fuck them.

It never really even occured to me that this was something they should try to protect themselves against. I just consider it equal that they give me something in exchange for my company alone. And that's how I feel about women who do foodie calls.

If men considered their dicks something to protect we'd probably see a reverse in the roles pretty fast. But dick really does have a negative value it's given so freely.

RinoaRita · 2022-08-12T15:54:21+00:00

I would wager either these women are poor or have a weird foodie kink.

The first is self explanatory. If you’re poor and you’re facing starvation or are just craving a non ramen noodle meal you might be tempted. I’m not rich but I won’t waste my time on a mean with someone I’m not interested in. From a purely selfish stand point eating out with someone I’m not interested in sounds exhausting. From a selfish stand point I would accept food sent to my house. I still wouldn’t do that out of morality and empathy. But I say that to emphasize that I’m not even tempted to do a foodie call like I would accepting a free pizza.

The other factor might be a weird power trip kink that women have that she can make guys pay.

Most people won’t engage in this behavior. What I can see happen is an entitled women feeling like she got her time wasted because after meeting she didn’t find the guy interesting. So now she feels entitled to the free meal and doesn’t call back. But she went in hoping she would find him attractive.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-08-12T16:00:37+00:00

It's common enough to be a concern for people. It's like how uncommon it is to get run over by a vehicle when crossing the street, but one still looks both ways to take caution.
Opportunists for sure. Are there those who end up in that situation naturally (take a date, have the meal paid for despite wanting to pay, and the interest fizzles out)? Sure, but the focus are those with malicious intent.
It's possible people do it subconsciously, but I doubt it. I'm not aware of too many who go through multi-step processes for stuff without thinking about it.
Coffee dates. Buy your little latte, and see if she pulls out money for her drink or snack. If she doesn't, you at best got had for less than $10. Damage has been mitigated.
No, because it's still something people consider significant enough to be cautious against. I think on it like rape: It's a real thing that women should be worried about, however there was only 5,468 reported cases of it in 2020, with a population of around 11 million women (in the United States). If it's a fair thing for women to consider if due to the possibility and nothing else, then it's fair for men to consider being the victim of a foodie call.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-08-12T22:10:54+00:00

No professional will do foodie calls.

My time is worth more than 20$

literaryhogwartian · 2022-08-12T10:33:52+00:00

My question is - why is everyone not paying for 50% of these dates?

KirthWGersen · 2022-08-12T09:05:25+00:00

Out of all the dates I have been on in the last 5 years, it has only happened once, with a recent immigrant student half my age.

She may actually have paid her half if I had mentioned it, but she was so boring, depressing and annoying, I got up, walked to the counter and paid for us both just so I could get out of there as fast as possible.

In every other case, the woman has paid half. The way you protect yourself against it is simply by paying half and waiting for her to pay her share. In the unlikely event she objects, just laugh at her, and she will likely apologise when she realises how unreasonable she is being.

As a man, more often than not, your chances of having sex sooner go up if you don't pay. It shows you value yourself a person and expect to be treated with the same respect you show her.

Peacesquad · 2022-08-12T13:43:12+00:00

Guys want sex. Women love attention and free meals from men. Do the math lol

NockerJoe · 2022-08-12T12:57:26+00:00

I'll never forget a woman here going on and on about how much she loved the men she dated, only to later admit she did foodie calls but those don't count.

I don't think its that rare, especially in younger demos like late teens/early 20's when people are likley to arill be students or not establsh themselves yet.

Besides that I've seen women carry on dates and affairs and relationships mostly because the man involved is giving them things consistently. They aren't doing it for a free meal but thheres an obvious understanding that the relationship is oriented around her getting stuff out of him, even if its not quite a sugar relationship.

social_mule · 2022-08-12T10:29:08+00:00

Since 25-30% of women have admitted to it I'd say the true estimate is around 50-60%. Just take whatever bad quality women admit to then double the stat. That's always a good rule of thumb.

no_bling_just_ding · 2022-08-12T12:26:03+00:00

about half of dates are

Karmanger · 2022-08-12T13:59:56+00:00

Titular question, how common is it? You can suppose statistics or just give a rough summary of how you think this phenomenon plays out in the real world.

Considering that society expects the person who asks for the date to pay; Considering that it is also rare for a women to ask a man on a date(as in contact the man, ask him out and set a time and place for their meeting) and Men will 95% of the time be paying for the date...A second date only occurs if the women felt a "connection" so she always has plausible deniability. I think it's way more common than admitted, there is no disincentive to not do it.

If the woman splits the bill or pays for the tip then you can tell she's trying to be fair.

Do you think Foodie Callers are just scammers/opportunists through and through? Or are there maybe people who choose to do it situationally?

Both. It's age dependent, younger women are the culprits for foodie calls most of the time. Broke older women do it situationally.

Can a person be a foodie caller subconsciously? In other words, they fit the pattern of only dating for free food/entertainment (perhaps by simply refusing second dates with an overwhelming majority of suitors), but they don't recognize this pattern in themself and insist they're not doing it intentionally. (I can point to a thread where a lot of the replies sounded like this, so it kinda sparked my interest in the topic.)

I think it only matters if she has the intention of doing it, but society doesn't disincentive the behavior. So the women doing it will never think what they are doing is a problem.

Assuming you think it's a common phenomenon, do you have any recommendations for protecting oneself against it

Keep first dates low budget, like coffee dates; Or Make your first date an activity date like rock climbing, Bowling, playing pool and etc. The reason why this weeds out the foodie callers is....

Activity dates let both of you interact and focus on each other during the date rather than food.
A coffee date establishes the same thing it lets you focus on the person rather than how much you're spending on food/tip.
An activity date gives you a better grasp how a person is under stress, shows how competitive they can be, if someone is cooperative...etc

Assuming you think it's a rare phenomenon, do you find it offensive that people bring it up at all

I get why women would be offended, because it makes them seem super shallow when they are just following the "norms".

As a man who used to date, I get aggravation of going on tons of dates that lead to no where, and dates where the woman is clearly disinterested from the start. It's just the way it is unfortunately.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-08-12T21:58:56+00:00

I think a significant portion of women have gone out on a date with a man they had no intentions to ever have sex with, that they otherwise wouldn't have gone on if they were paying for their own dinner.

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MarBitt · 2022-08-12T09:02:18+00:00

My guess is that for 5-15% of dates, the main reason on the woman's side is the free food and drink.

Which in practice means that for some men (less attractive, more submissive, more socially awkward, targeting younger partners than themselves or moving in a superficial environment without moral values), it can be more than 50% of their dates.

w_a_worthy_coconut · 2022-08-12T11:04:15+00:00

Hard to assess the actual number of foodie calls for the same reason it is for pump-and-dumps.

No one knows the actual reasons people ghost, so they chalk it up to "he just used me for sex" or "she just used me for a free meal."

It's just a heuristic people adopt to avoid any mental uncomfortability.

retal1ator · 2022-08-12T11:25:07+00:00

I think it’s common if you include women who go out with men thinking “I’m not that interested in this guy but I give him a chance; after all I get a free meals even if I won’t see him again”.

ManWazo · 2022-08-12T11:57:12+00:00

do you have any recommendations for protecting oneself against it?

The first date I have with someone is always drinking pabst in a park and I never been foodie called.

Demasii · 2022-08-12T12:21:27+00:00

Titular question, how common is it? You can suppose statistics or just give a rough summary of how you think this phenomenon plays out in the real world.

We will never know how common it is. It's too easy to pull off (assuming she has the skills to filter the correct type of men on OLD) and it's too socially reprehensible to admit that anyone is doing this.

I don't believe that women will do it purely for food unless very very poor. I think this type of woman actually enjoy the company of men. She is just not serious about the romantic aspect.

Do you think Foodie Callers are just scammers/opportunists through and through? Or are there maybe people who choose to do it situationally?

Opportunists.

Can a person be a foodie caller subconsciously? In other words, they fit the pattern of only dating for free food/entertainment (perhaps by simply refusing second dates with an overwhelming majority of suitors), but they don't recognize this pattern in themself and insist they're not doing it intentionally. (I can point to a thread where a lot of the replies sounded like this, so it kinda sparked my interest in the topic.)

No. It has to be conscious.

Assuming you think it's a common phenomenon, do you have any recommendations for protecting oneself against it?

Initial coffee dates.

Assuming you think it's a rare phenomenon, do you find it offensive that people bring it up at all?

No.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-08-12T12:28:43+00:00

Seems like something niche

HuckleberryThis2012 · 2022-08-12T12:45:38+00:00

No clue, I never took someone out for food on the first date. Well, that’s not entirely true, I have grabbed drinks with women where it went well and we turned it into dinner, but that always ended in more dates.

Any woman who says coffee, bookstore, going for a walk in the park, or drinks is too low effort I’m fine writing off as not compatible. These are mutually beneficial dates, not bc the guy can avoid paying more money, but bc either side can end the date at any point if it’s not going well. It’s considerate to give the other side a chance to cut it short with no hard feelings and no worries that you’ll think she owes you something. If it is going well all of those dates can be extended and can add in something less “low effort” like food or an activity.

I’ve also never really come across a woman telling me I wasn’t putting in enough effort either. Won’t deny they exist, but I guess I just didn’t attract those types. I don’t think it’s an epidemic, and I don’t think they’re hard to avoid. If a woman is like that then don’t meet them, it’s not like anything is lost that way. You don’t have to meet everyone you match with and talk to.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-12T13:06:39+00:00

I think it's pretty common for extremely low income and destitute men and women. I grew up in poverty and I had friends (male and female) that would go on dates so that they could eat.
Eh, they can be. Half or most of the time, I do believe that they have a genuine interest in the person that they're dating. Some of them can be clearly exploitative, but I think it more so depends on the person. Similar to that of hobosexuals.
I don't believe so. Most adults can afford to feed and entertain themselves. This isn't behavior that people who can provide for themselves engage in.
Don't date poor or destitute people.
No, but I think the degree that people bring it up is blown out of proportion. IMO it's a VERY easy situation to avoid. Just don't pay for other peoples meals, problem solved.

2022-08-12T13:58:09+00:00

Common.

Visible-Version2098 · 2022-08-12T14:03:44+00:00

Maybe for ‘something to do’, but I doubt they are going just for a free meal.

Yes I am annoyed by the number of men assuming this. It goes back to the wild outdated belief that women are only after money. It’s 2022, most of us are working right along you guys.

When accepting a date I’m prepared and willing to pay my way 100% of the time. I also pay for both of us sometimes. I also pay for my friends sometimes, I’ve picked up the tab for entire tables (brothers graduation dinner with strangers to me, for example).

I just think there is too much anxiety, focus and overthinking when it comes to this topic. If you don’t want to pay don’t, also don’t invite people to expensive dinners. If you want to treat then treat, but don’t have expectations.

2022-08-12T14:32:38+00:00

Not common. Like only an idiot goes into a date assuming the meal is covered. And the drive and cost for parking in most cities doesn't make a first date meal worth it even if it is comped.

Women aren't wasting time going on dates with dudes they know they're not into

warramite · 2022-08-12T14:47:22+00:00

Very common.. There is a use for every man a woman swipes on on OLD

• Ego Boost (Emotional Validation through simps which is majority)

• Sexual Relief (Through Chads)

• Financial (Pay my rent, Buy dinner, Buy me clothes and handbags etc..)

The women who actually go on dates through OLD always have a reason for doing so related to above .. The ones who never go on dates are just looking for number one to reaffirm value during bouts of depression and low self esteem

Do you think Foodie Callers are just scammers/opportunists through and through?

Most people are just looking out for themselves, you'll suffer if you try to be better especially as a low value man in this brutal dating economy

Can a person be a foodie caller subconsciously?

Yes, if you've gone on 20 dates with 20 men and they all paid, you're a foodie caller.

do you have any recommendations for protecting oneself against it?

Yes. Just invite her to your place. If she doesn't view you as Chad why would you ever date her? She'll put out for Chad when he asks

Ohmaygahh · 2022-08-12T14:57:39+00:00

Infinitely more common starting at college age 19 to 29. I myself have fallen victim to it a few times. That ones that stand out to me are

iHOP for a pregnant(I didn't know) teen back when I was a freshman in college.

An asian/thai place called Spice in manhattan for a drop dead gorgeous girl, I was 23, she 22. Pure foodie call. It felt awful, I was trying anything to get convo going but the only thing she was excited about was the food to arrive. Sucks double because I LOVED that place, I'm not sure it still exists. It was across the street from a movie theatre at 14th st Union Square.

A beer and chips at a bar in the jewel of the midwest, this awful Virgo finance girl who was a VP at a bank. She thought she was such hot shit, i did relent and paid for a beer. I knew it was the wrong move, but it had been 2 hrs of bad conversation, and her tits were just so perfectly shaped and big that I was like, fine, i got to look and ever so briefly feel her up, buying her a beer is the least I can do. This one is funny to me because she accused me of smelling bad ( which you ask any of my ex's or lovers, or anyone who knows me, I've been BIG into scents since the day I got my first Acqua di Gio, back in 1994. I had gone with the original formulation of Fierce. She was the one that smelled fuckingn iffy, probably was wearing the brittany spears cologne, cotton candy or whatever the fuck it's called. ( what's double funny is I saw her 4 years later on the train, and she looked HAGGERD, and still alone as when I saw her I quickly pulled up Bumble to see if she still had a profile up, and she did but was still using the old photos of when she looked great. She looked me right in the eyes but I don't think it registered. I sorta felt bad for her, she gained A LOT of weight. Tits were still ok, even bigger, but the rest of her... yikes)

A beer for a older 20s girl when I was early 30s. This girl was awful and insulting. She outloud said my sisters name sounded stupid. She fit all the worst parts of an entitled, overeducated, low intelligence, money focused jew-y princess who had a grating personality and complained about how her younger sister was already married. She showed me pics of her during the date, yeah her sister was a hottie AND it sounded like she had a good personality. Her older sister? Worse looking, and a bit chubbier, AMAZING rack though. Out of this world. I knew it was such a bad move but I did pay for her beer. I'm glad I did because we ended the date poorly, and she followed up with a txt (and image) that she had called up her FwB to fuck her the same night, taunting me that she would've maybe been opened to sleeping with me, but that I somehow "messed up" because I answered truthfully that I wasn't looking for anything super serious right away. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, ever since then whenever a woman has asked if I can pay for her I confidently, and internally calmly, say "No". If a woman presses after my no, i tell her "Fuck No".

Common enough in the dating and mingling populations.
Women just do whatever the fuck they feel like, and come up with reasons and excuses after the fact. There's no need to try to pinpoint motivation here, it all ends up to the same outcome.
Who cares.
Yeah, don't pay for anything until you, as a man, has penetrated her. Then after, you totally can worry free.
Who cares.

2022-08-12T14:57:56+00:00

I'm a woman and I only know one woman personally who has ever done it -- during her college semester abroad, because her scholarship didn't include food money. And she's drop dead gorgeous, so it wasn't like she was going out deliberately looking for dates. She just said yes to more people than usual.

sarkington · 2022-08-12T15:27:45+00:00

Common for people who offer dinner dates with strangers to mercenary, transactional women; rare for everyone else

PissBottleRedditMod · 2022-08-12T15:29:57+00:00

i saw it happen to my incel roommate a few times

lol he'd pick women who were very obviously way out of his league and would have zero things to say on their profile

when he showed us his profile, it ALSO had nothing of value on it

so basically you'd have some dude who think's they're awesome, doesn't take care of themselves, and has zero hobbies swiping right on really hot women who also had zero things to say on their profile

then he'd come to a subreddit just like this one and post some incel bait so that he'd feel better with the confirmation bias lmao

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-08-12T15:55:38+00:00

Lol , I've never heard any of my female friends who work say I'm going out with said dude for a free meal . This must be a poor person issue .

Esterwinde · 2022-08-12T16:37:35+00:00

Pretty common, even from average and below average (note my standards are on the fking ground, I went out on a date with someone who weigh about 200 pounds).

I now go out with my first dates via cheap cafe dates that cost at most like $15.

So far some of them went Dutch tho.

2022-08-12T17:18:43+00:00

I've been played at least a dozen times for foodie calls. Until I caught on to it, coffee dates don't break the bank.

2022-08-12T17:23:21+00:00

Not that common, never happened to me. In fact most girls would rather they pay or they pay for themselves because often guys will use "but look at how much I spent on you" as a way to pressure them into sex

CoverYourAwrah · 2022-08-12T18:46:56+00:00

I don’t think (most) women go out with the sole intention of getting free meals out of men.

However, I think they see it in terms of economics like, “meh, he’s not that cute, worst that could happen is I get a free meal out of it if we don’t vibe”.

And a lot of dudes end up paying and going home with nothing because the girl didn’t like them.

Complete net negative for the guy.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-08-12T19:20:59+00:00

A lot less than some of the guys on here think but more than the women on here would be willing to admit

tangerineparakeet · 2022-08-12T19:58:38+00:00

Unsure generally, but I insist on paying my part of the date—food, movie tickets, concert tickets—to avoid being considered opportunistic? At least on the first date. I’d go on a date with a man I wasn’t interested in to gauge whether I could be interested later, but would pay for my own food.

Liberated_Asexual · 2022-08-12T21:33:17+00:00

I remember a comment on a YT video about online dating basically said something like, "Looking back, most of my bumble dates were really just paying for a bunch of dinners for fat girls."

Poopisfunnypoop · 2022-08-12T23:28:38+00:00

Very common if you don't spend on the first date many women flake

2022-08-13T00:09:05+00:00

I'm sure it exists but ngl, it seems to primarily be a behavior I hear about from people in lower income backgrounds. Maybe it's a food insecurity thing? I'm sure some well off women do this, but I've never encountered any who do. They can just get it their own or their parents' money.

I've never done this because why would I risk what's probably just an okay meal to have to tolerate a stranger talking to me just to eat? It sounds like you might desperately need food if you're willing to do that.

I did tell a guy it wasn't going to work after he took me to dinner once, but I wasn't trying to get a meal out of him. It was what he wanted to do and it just happened to be that the date was unbearable and he was very bitter and it drove me away. It was later the next day after I'd thought about if I wanted to see him again and I just didn't enjoy any of the time spent with him. I didn't ask to go to dinner and he was the one adamant about paying when I offered to cover my share. I'm more of a coffee person.

Just don't do expensive things if it's a first date. It's easy to avoid. If you suggest it and then she doesn't want to pay or ghosts you after, it's kind of too late to avoid the situation. I don't think it's the norm for dating but it's not like it's unheard of. Overall, productive people are not wasting their time trying to secure a free meal with a person they couldn't care less about.

Nihi1986 · 2022-08-13T01:09:58+00:00

I have only met one who was going on dates with an asshole I know. They told me to go with them to the pubs after dinner and when he left she started flirting and we ended up having sex.

Eventhough he's an asshole I told him the next day so he could save his money (he's kinda rich, though).

How common it is? Probably more common than we think.

How does it happen? You try to impress a girl who is not into you with a dinner date.

How can you prevent it? Don't go on expensive dates until you see the girl showing genuine interest on you or, if you do, let her pay her half of the bill and try to enjoy the date, wherever it leads to.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-13T02:26:06+00:00

As common as women making false rape accusations for cash and prizes. Yes, I have heard men claim this. Revenge, sure; enduring hours of bureaucracy and interrogation and also paying for the privilege? No; there’s no cash and prizes

neetykeeno · 2022-08-13T04:29:23+00:00

I don't think there's anyone doing it as a main strategy to feed themselves. Sorry boys, supermarkets and food banks are in general better cheaper more convenient food sources than you are. I buy fifty bucks of food at the supermarket and that's ample supplies for the entire week and zero extra need to spend time cultivating men on Tinder, put on makeup, fix my hair, buy fancy clothes, put up with a strange dude or uber myself around for my own safety .

I can make a three egg filled omelette and heat up frozen veg for less than three dollars and twenty minutes work including doing the dishes. Two dollars extra is enough cask wine to feel very merry. Dates with strange men I am not curious about in some positive way are clearly an inefficient, wasteful option by comparison. Men need to be made to see very very clearly that dating in wealthy countries is not about survival needs like food. Nobody here is going to spend two hours in company with an undesirable random person who is trying to organise physical penetration just to keep their belly full. Pocket change buys more for less. Two hours messing about at the foodbank gets a person many days of food. Ten minutes asking strangers in the street for money because you lost your means of travel home pays better. Isn't there even a subreddit called random acts of pizza?

I think the only common situation in which a woman mainly wants food and goes on a date is when she's on a really very tight budget and there's a guy she knows is keen on her and safe but has never declared himself as a suitor, she's got enough food to eat but suddenly craved that one special expensive thing...a steak, ribs, fancy icecream. So she gives into temptation and contacts him and admits to wanting a steak.or whatever but it isn't in her budget. And then he fucking well volunteers.

Don't want that guy to be you? Don't volunteer.

Swordfromthecement · 2022-08-13T05:19:16+00:00

Like most shit behavior it’s more common when younger/from a lower class background.

2022-08-13T07:07:39+00:00

I think in the 35 and under crowd its VERY common. Above that not as much.

Q4ALL: How common do you think Foodie Calls are?

Comments

giving a male your audience

Title	Q4ALL: How common do you think Foodie Calls are?
Author	w_a_worthy_coconut
Upvotes	19
Comments	259
Date	August 12, 2022 7:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wmeq0a/q4all_how_common_do_you_think_foodie_calls_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-how-common-do-you-think-foodie-calls-are.1127631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127631