Woman; do you think the dating market has become better or worse for Woman due to the advent of dating Apps?

Brilliant_Look4387 · 2022-10-24T09:25:15+00:00

Dating is vile in modern times, especially on dating apps. Using people for sex is normal, ghosting is normal. Like, think about that, why do we treat other humans with so little humanity. How do we think it is normal to rejact someone by ignoring them? Can't you come up with one fuking sententence to show the person you've been interacting with that you see them as a human. And you would think that only degenerates act this degenerate, but is is literally everybody now. What is wrong with us?

wtknight · 2022-10-24T12:37:13+00:00

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Custard-Gyal · 2022-10-24T02:08:00+00:00

As a chronically single woman, dating apps were the only way I could date and experience having sex.

Never had much IRL luck. Guys avoid me for whatever reason. Maybe I'm unapproachable, am intimidating, or have a weird energy, I'm not sure. I've been told I'm pretty by guys but things just always fizzled out in the early stages. I graduated school and college without ever having been properly asked out or pursued. Pursued a couple of guys myself and was shot down every time, except once where he attempted to use me for sex when I was a virgin (turned him down and just took the rejection like a champ).

Finally, at 24, I stopped waiting, and just... decided to bite the bullet and join a dating app. I still think the male:female ratio is what played in my favor. Whatever "undesirable" qualities I had that made guys avoid me, didn't seem to matter much online. I went on dates with a lot of dudes. Finally was able to make out with someone. Finally had sex. I rejected some, some of them rejected me, it is what it is.

Still haven't found true love, but at least I could dip my toes into the dating pool. This is why I'll never complain about dating apps. I need that shit.

1 month UPDATE: for the first time in 28 years, I have been asked out by someone I know in real life. Yes, this update is just for me

redbluepie · 2022-10-24T00:13:50+00:00

Worse.

It is like netflix for everyone. You may really want to settle into something but keep flicking because there might be something better on the next screen. Even if you meet up it can be the same. Saw this news piece on a guy who would go on dates and open up the app while their date was in the bathroom or something. Option paralysis.

Ghosting and people just being obnoxious. "If you're just going to say hi, don't bother - swipe left"

But what can you do when the world is becoming less social?

wtknight · 2022-10-24T08:30:01+00:00

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januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-23T22:47:15+00:00

Worse. All that apps have given are another way to get hookups, which is unhelpful and makes it harder to actually meet people to date. The average woman isn't even using an app, which is why women with apps have more men to choose from - they're greatly outnumbered. The male to female ratio on apps says it all for how useful this actually is, as more women would use them if they provided much benefit.

Demasii · 2022-10-23T23:04:11+00:00

Worse.

At a party I was once at back when I was single, there were three men in the corner talking about OLD and looking at profiles. Party was active with people coming and leaving consistently.

Struck me as strange that several women there were single but they were really focused on their phones. Seem to me that if a man was looking he should explore the immediate options first.

Now I didnt know those guys, they may not have found anyone at the party attractive or already knew them and wasn't interested.

But it made me notice a trend that people are using these apps more and more as the default option.

Gets in the way of having a "meet cute" story that most women want.

a_popful_mail · 2022-10-24T01:59:10+00:00

I think it can't really be split up by gender so cleanly. Some men and women really like it and benefit from it, others absolutely can't stand it and have a hard time with it or some aspect intrinsic to it. The way I get attracted to people just doesn't work on a dating app, I'd be one of the types that wouldn't be positively affected by a dating app. I fall for a pretty specific set of personality traits before I can even go forward to think about something like looks. And you only really learn about those traits organically. Talking to them, being close friends and so on. It might pop up, I notice over time. Can't really do that with a dating app, lol.

And obviously its different for other women. Some probably like the app, different priorities and different ways to identify if they're attracted or not. Some probably struggle with option selection. Some probably love the ease. Some probably hate the creeps and find it a waste of time.

Its just not so simple.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-10-24T01:55:14+00:00

Worse . On the female end men never read your profile they ignore your preferences and you spend so much time weeding through the nonsense it’s exhausting and difficult to find a good man. Women may have quantity but quality is low. No one looks to meet otherwise either. People have gotten so used to being behind screens that they don’t know how to or don’t desire to talk to others. Men expect sex within three dates and if you don’t put out they move on. It’s competitive. No one takes the time to get to know each other they are always looking for the next best person. It’s like someone gave you a catalog of all the cars and told you maybe you can have a million dollar one so you just keep hoping and you never make a choice to settle down. The more choices you have the less likely you should make a choice.

Before online dating your pool was limited and people invested time. The mistake men make is thinking women want what they do. Access to quantity and sex. Women want quality and a relationship. So no 100 dudes wanting sex with you is not a woman’s dream.

Btw I’m old so I dated pre online dating.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-23T23:28:42+00:00

I wasn’t on them for very long but I wasn’t impressed. I know people who have met and married through apps though so I guess they do work for some.

awaythrow1234588 · 2022-10-24T03:39:48+00:00

Amazing for Attractive men and terrible for Attractive women

Imposible-dump · 2022-10-23T23:23:19+00:00

Objectively worse. Men because they are behind a screen feel like they can say disgusting and derogatory things to you that they would never say to your face. A lot of guys use OLD apps as ubereats but for free sex.

Also most male profiles are terrible.

bunnakay · 2022-10-23T22:53:18+00:00

I don't know any women who use apps for actual relationships... just casual sex. So they do see that as more convenient than having to get dressed up and go out lol

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-10-24T01:52:10+00:00

From my vantage point as a guy who’s early 40’s and hit the dating scene again 4 years ago after 15 years off the market, it’s much worse for women than it used to be.

I’ve seen/hooked up with women ~25 to ~45, I’m only going to speak to the 10+ year younger women. Honestly, I shouldn’t have a shot with them, they are as good looking, and sane/smart/funny as girls I could get when I was that age. There is no chance at a future with me, and they were told that, but they slept with me because of their options.

I don’t know what it is about young men today, but they are not fulfilling what women want, and what they want in the real world isn’t really any different. That hasn’t changed, women want to feel wanted, they want to be entertained, they want confidence, they want someone who is unflappable, and many if not most women don’t want the fake, 2d, curated images that come from OLD meetings and purely text based convos. Many more women, young and old, want, and put themselves in position to do the IRL meetup than young men. They want that feeling you only get from chance encounters of chemistry that you didn’t look for or see coming. They want to feel like the world threw you together, even for just a fling.

Young men are the ones who want to meet online more, and it seems like it’s because young men are scared. They are scared of being called a creep, scared of rejection, scared of being social and too many of the ones who aren’t are so damned arrogant and pushy that they blow their chances.

It just seems like being “cool” isn’t an important thing with younger men. Like the “I don’t give a fuck, I just want to have a good time” mentality. Friendly without being pushy, inappropriate without being intentionally offensive, a scoundrel without being threatening type….many women still want that guy. They’re still willing to fuck him. They are still wishing they could date him.

That guy doesn’t get bitter at being rejected, that guy doesn’t have contempt for women underneath, nor does he worship them and put them on a pedestal. He’s not a white knight, a simp, an incel, PUA, blue pilled or red pilled. He doesn’t care enough to be any of those things.

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IntegrityDJones · 2022-10-24T00:46:41+00:00

I’ve never used a dating app, but from the women I know who’ve used it, it’s nothing to brag about. They usually end up deleting in 2 weeks

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-24T01:02:46+00:00

I think it has benefited me in some ways but puts me at a disadvantage other ways.

It is much easier for people to dox me on apps, but it's also easier for me to find eligible men and women in my community.

I receive more harassment/rape threats/death threats on apps than I do dating organically outside of online but also find really cool people on there I would never have otherwise run into, some have changed my life in ways that are not quantifiable.

Additionally, I would likely not have the bandwidth to date without online dating. Most of my day I have to be monitoring things for work or keeping an eye on my inbox for new project offers. I also take time every day for a lengthy and languorous skin care regimen and on most days exercise. I like to swim regularly, sometimes at dawn before I go to sleep (I'm a night owl).

Especially now in the middle of a pandemic, I am not going to bars, barcades, festivals, concerts, and clubs like I used to. I hope to return to that but based on conversations with two virologists in my social circle, it'll probably still be a couple of years before the risks and long-term effects can be reduced and prevented better.

Apps allow me to put my profile on pause, respond to everyone in my "beeline" before doing so, I can check my app whenever I want. After teaching the algorithm it's easy to find people to swipe right on even though some of them will never swipe right back on me.

I can get to know a little bit about someone before risking being alone with them somewhere (I still meet in a public place the first few dates, but am able to filter out some people in the messaging phase).

Currently, I am spending a lot of time with a man I met on Bumble who I would have likely never met otherwise. He thought I was out of his league but he figured, what the hell, and swiped right on me. I figured he was out of my league but I swiped right on him. We're both very COVID safe and both work remotely so we likely would not have met any other way.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-24T07:47:08+00:00

I have friends and relatives who started dating before dating apps were a thing and are still dating/dating again now. Basically all of them have said that it’s about the same, not better or worse. More work, but also more opportunities.

My mother’s 50-year-old cousin started using tinder a few years ago. She said the most frustrating thing is men who put low effort (profile pic has sunglasses, no text, etc.), but other than that, it’s fun.

Thatshygurl · 2022-10-24T18:04:18+00:00

Worse, for everyone. The increase of options isn’t always necessarily a good thing. It’s VERY overwhelming

2022-10-24T02:27:00+00:00

Better. I would likely have been alone or miserable or even settled without "knowing" it had apps not existed. I love apps and dislike meeting people irl. Apps gave me an major edge in finding someone I was actually compatible with.

SykeYouOut · 2022-10-23T23:59:20+00:00

Worse. We have a large quantity of men/matches to engage with, but the quality is very low. Frequently we have to sort through married/cheating men, fuckboys, emotionally unavailable men, catfishes. Many times we spend a lot of time messaging everyone back to only get asked on very few dates.

We also get ghosted, stood up, used… there also seems to be a huge trend of general depression among the population, could be partially caused by financial issues, which would make dating hard but Ive noticed more & more men talk about their depression right before ghosting.

If I didn’t meet long term exes on these apps, I would probably give up now. Its been worse for over a year now, I was never ghosted/stood up before & now its at least once a month. Not to mention every wants something “casual”.

It feels like we are losing our ability to develop close relationships.

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-10-24T13:17:49+00:00

I prefer pre dating app age because you cannot create chemistry. Nothing sucks more when you spend all the time texting and meeting up, getting disappointed. Whereas if you meet someone in person, by chance, you just know you want to know them more so you put in more effort.

Both men and women are shopping for the next best thing on the apps. Men think women have it on easy mode because they have more options to sleep with but it’s not easy for women NOT looking for this. In fact I find it insulting that men view most women on apps as nothing more but a free escort. Like all he has to do is invite a random stranger to his place and he didn’t have to spend time or a cent to court her.

But men are getting smarter, they know they can’t just say they’re looking for nothing serious, their options will dwindle but if they play along for a few weeks or months and give women the illusion there will be something more than a pump and dump - they can get what they want.

Some women use it for free meal and drinks with no intention of continuing seeing the guy. And they know this GOING into the date, wasting everyone’s time and his efforts

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-24T02:47:57+00:00

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GloryToChadlantis · 2022-10-24T03:38:31+00:00

man here-

allot of the legwork is gone. but with all these options it feels like theres a loss of connection with the individuals in the photos.

dating apps just feel like hookup apps.

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-24T04:20:17+00:00

If I want senseless hook ups and like a date for the night I guess it works. Was I satisfied with the apps? Not really.

I think it creates this illusion of choice but you can't filter out dudes intentions so yeah you can get a lot of matches but they usually go nowhere or they are just trying to smash.

I wouldn't say it made the dating market better or worse. You have accessibility but you have the issues that come out of it.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-24T02:34:25+00:00

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neetykeeno · 2022-10-23T23:17:10+00:00

Dating apps are interesting for the average woman because you can peruse profile after profile and really get an idea of what men are like when they are mate seeking but not have to actually interact with any men. So that's an improvement. But on the whole dating apps are largely irrelevant to most women.

Fushiguro55 · 2022-10-24T01:23:55+00:00

I dont agree, 80% of the woman i slept were from tinder and im not a chad.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-23T22:44:50+00:00

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SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-24T06:18:09+00:00

Better I was feeling really shit about myself Downloads an app 100s messages Weeded through fhem Going talking to maybe 10 men A month later met one, been together since

beleidigtewurst · 2022-10-24T08:17:49+00:00

One needs to be quite of an age to be able to compare "was" vs "is", methinks.

And even than, it's "young me" vs "older me" comparison which adds quite some flavor to it.

dumbbitchcas · 2022-10-24T13:40:37+00:00

I think it always has sucked, this is just a new flavor of suck

Ganajin · 2022-10-24T15:04:05+00:00

Way way better! I met my SO on a dating site.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-24T15:47:06+00:00

I'm in my 4O's , unless you've lived under a rock. There has always been some form of online / technology dating service, party lines on the phones since I was a small child, remember when people were doing videos , phone dating hotlines to call ,and it was all on the TV advertising constantly, and this is was when I was small around 5-6 years old, there's always been some form of online/ video/ phone line dating services, people trying to meet others for a hook up or dating program. So there has never been a straight dating frequency of no technology being involved since I've been alive. I just don't think people realize that the online dating apps that are here today have just evolved from what they were 30 years ago it's not anything new

dottywine · 2022-10-24T18:01:32+00:00

If you have a PURPOSE ANS STRATEGY, online dating and apps are great for women. If you don’t yet know what you’re doing, it’s horrible. To this day, every man I met via app (for LTR) has been horrible. I started using apps as part of a strategy to aid in my preferred method of meeting men by happen stance in real life.

Meeting men in real life, IMO, is always superior for LTR.

And to the women older than 40 or with kids, good luck ladies! From my view point the app helps give you more options but can’t speak to how good of options it is.

and if just seeking the hottest guy you can sleep with, I think apps are waaaaay faster, too.

2022-10-24T19:39:24+00:00

Idk if it’s because of dating apps, the overall culture I live in or some other factor I’m missing, but it’s more difficult for women looking for a serious relationship in general. A lot of my family friends end up marrying someone from their home country so I think there’s just something about the overall culture here, but I could be mistaken. I get the impression that dating apps have ruined things for those who want to date seriously as a whole though. I would answer yes personally, but it really depends on what the individual woman is after.

2022-10-24T19:44:03+00:00

I’m an old guy but when I saw this coming 15-17 years ago I thought it would be better for guys because getting shot down in private >> the walk of shame in public. Also in cities one could have a low batting average and still have enough plates to spin.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-10-25T01:19:02+00:00

Women don't "use" dating apps honey, just like women don't answer their DMs on social media.

Title	Woman; do you think the dating market has become better or worse for Woman due to the advent of dating Apps?
Author	Crafty_Letter_1719
Upvotes	35
Comments	232
Date	October 23, 2022 10:40 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ybv4lv/woman_do_you_think_the_dating_market_has_become/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/woman-do-you-think-the-dating-market-has-become.1136715 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136715

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