Why do American women seem to be dissatisfied with the quality of American men?

CimZim · 2023-01-20T22:29:17+00:00

You realize that PPD is essentially like reading the Yelp reviews of a restaurant, right?

Like 90% of the women here are dissatisfied because they've had bad experiences/have shitty partners and exes, and the other 10% of us have great partners. But the total number of "stars" is going to be really low.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2023-01-20T22:30:12+00:00

What part of America? The U.S. is massive and culture/QOL varies significantly by state and region.

A woman living in a suburb filled with young families and young men who are interested in settling down isn't going to have the same dating prospects as a woman who lives in Seattle.

FlexodusPrime · 2023-01-21T08:18:11+00:00

It's reciprocal. American men aren't satisfied with the quality of American women.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-01-20T23:22:35+00:00

AWALT. Women are dissatisfied with men everywhere. American women are just more vocal about it.

CoffeeCakeGod · 2023-01-20T23:13:42+00:00

So, I'm not originally from America and have lived in a few different countries.

I've never been called ugly in my life, have a degree in biochemical engineering, and I came back here to work on pursuing my PhD. 161cm, 110lb, hispanic woman. Just giving some background to help you see my dating pool

For the sake of fairness, I date both men and women but I'll focus on American men. Also, my dating sample size is small, so take it with a chunk of salt.

Most American men I've met that attempted to court me did have some outdated notions about women and felt men were generally superior to some degree. There is a constant pervasive insecurity in them, and some sort of desire to treat women like a therapist. Especially if they have no friends, which again, most American men tend to struggle with. They're generally uncultured, overweight, and have low emotional intelligence requiring more work to be put into teaching them how to have honest conversations sans anger, judgements, or fear. There hasn't been a single relationship I had with an American man where I wasn't the one planning dinners, coordinating weekend plans, coordinating grocery shopping, leading conversations about issues etc.

For American women, it pretty much is the same gist except so many white women think shitting on men is a personality. Or they'll become way too enmeshed too quickly and expect to use me for emotional regulation or experimentation. A good chunk of the time, they'll leave you for a man because they know that better than they know same sex relationships and are unwilling to admit that.

With Americans in general they're just so devisive, have no concept of the greater world, little to no interest in politics beyond whats fed to them by twitch streamers or tiktok ,and most would rather die than take care of their skin. I've always been the one to end my relationships after giving multiple chances, and being in America has made me lose hope in a decent relationship or being able to own a home in general.

I look for someone with the same education level as me, keeps hobbies, has friends, and can actually have direct and open conversations when they need to be had. I've never cared about height or weight because they're not good indicators for how well someone will treat you, how they talk and if their actions align pretty much is.

maplehobo · 2023-01-21T01:22:33+00:00

Isn’t the average american man obese?

Preme2 · 2023-01-20T23:47:43+00:00

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RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-20T22:16:03+00:00

Among developed western nations the US is actually not even in the top echelon for dating and gender relations (that would be Denmark, Canada, and Germany, occasionally alternating with Norway, Sweden, Finland).

However, I myself live in the US and have found plenty of lovely quality men here. I have some significant dealbreakers so I self-limit my pool a bit (only childfree, marriagefree minded people for example).

But even though when I'm on the apps one out of every 10 guys said horrific, sometimes criminal things to me, still 90% were decent types, even if ultimately some of us were incompatible.

Most American women date American men.

American men also have one of the better, if not the best, balances of wealth and attractiveness in the world due to our large population and easy access to things for self improvement.

While the US is a wealthy nation, American men (and women) are among the poorest in developed nations. Most cannot hope to own a home, even less developed nations tend to have higher home ownership in many cases. Most Americans (men and women) are one paycheck away from homelessness. Most western European nations, and many others have higher home ownership percentages, higher percentages of savings, higher quality of living.

Also Americans globally are not considered the most attractive (but this is all relative). Consistently the countries that rate the best looking when considering men are Saudi Arabia, France, Brazil, The Phillipines, Italy, Angola, Spain, Mexico, Turkey, and Australia.

I don’t understand why American women seem to be so entitled and dissatisfied with the quality of American men.

Most women find men they are attracted to to have relationships with. Most relationships in the US are based (at least initially) on mutual attraction, so the guys they are with are attracted to them too.

Most people aren't conventionally attractive, certainly US men aren't considered on any top ten beauty lists as far as handsomest countries for men, and yet an overwhelming majority of adult men right now are having sex and relationships. And almost all men will have dates, sex, and relationships in their lifetimes, mostly based on mutual attraction.

While single childfree women are the happiest demographic in the US, they are still minority. Most American women are hooking up with, dating, and either marrying or entering long term relationships with American men.

jespteins_blackbook · 2023-01-20T23:42:26+00:00

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mackenzie013_02 · 2023-01-20T22:08:17+00:00

I’m not American, but spend a lot do time in the US (mostly bigger cities), due to work.

American men (and women) are far below men/women from most European countries. 😅

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-01-20T22:21:45+00:00

Are we? Any man-bashing in female spaces seems to be universal, not exclusive to American men. Whereas our counterparts love to go on about the sorry state of western women and threaten to become sexpats. I don’t see similar threats from women, probably due in part to the fact that in many places

men act superior to women and treat them accordingly

geniech92 · 2023-01-21T01:18:46+00:00

Humans are never satisfied creatures, regardless of country.

renfsu · 2023-01-21T02:51:06+00:00

The issue with "American" is America is extremely diverse. Your results will vary significantly from different areas.

A white woman from Mississippi is gonna be very different from one in Maine, who will be very different from one in Colorado. Southwest is very Hispanic. Detroit has a lot of black people.

You can be seen as an incel in Detroit and do extremely well in California.

I hear of white men who say people are racist against them in places like Arizona. But you don't hear about that in Virginia for example.

Impossible_You_8555 · 2023-01-21T03:19:18+00:00

Not an answer but ask any man who has moved to Europe or other region and if he is American the quality of the women elsewhere is often why he doesn't move back

America creates good employees, having worked with euros I will say American workers are much much better but for dating other countries has a better amount of fit capable in shape women with wide amounts of interests.

Also age differences are less of a big deal and feminism is not as hard core or vitriolic. Even in the more annoyingly progressive parts of Europe.

chalkandapples · 2023-01-20T22:35:55+00:00

I don't think American men have a bad reputation specifically. Maybe less stylish or something?

Far_Welcome101 · 2023-01-21T02:16:37+00:00

Lol american women look better than American men. American women put way more effort into how they look compared to American men.

wtknight · 2023-01-20T22:37:05+00:00

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-01-20T22:13:05+00:00

At least in my opinion, there are certainly better dating pools than America, but Americans might feel differently. (Although certainly there are countries with better wealth-attractiveness balances where men can afford more wuth their money and aren't mostly fat.) Even if American men are somehow the best, that doesn't mean they're good. Everyone can be varying levels of shitty.

NakedStreets · 2023-01-20T23:09:04+00:00

makes it easier for men to be optimistic and have a positive outlook on life.

Can you cite sources that demonstrate this is actually the case?

obviousredflag · 2023-01-21T15:30:10+00:00

I don’t have any studies to back up this claim, but it seems as if American men generally treat American women better compared to other countries.

That's why you just overturned abortion rights? Half of the population is super backwards conservative. They are known for treating women good, right?

Yet American women claim it’s so hard to find the right guy when America probably has the best dating pool in the world.

Half of the population drops out of the dating pool because of this ridiculous political divide between democrats and republicans. Next comes further identity politics that leave you with a tiny dating pool with "your values" and your "labels".

America doesn't have free healthcare and therefore a lot of people don't get psychological therapy they would get in other countries. Guess what unaddressed mental health issues do to the quality of the dating pool?

America is extremely materialistic and has a large divide between poor and rich. Doesn't put the focus on personality and excludes more people from dating each other.

Optimistic and positive outlook? Isn't this generation the first to have a worse outlook on life than their parents?

This just to address the "best dating pool in the world" topic. Other than that, people are dissatisfied not because of their factual status, but because of the discrepancy between what they have and what they think they should have. A lot of women also think that they live at the worst moment in time for women because of all the inequality, while it's actually the most equal time to be alive and living in the US. If they keep telling themselves how they are victims and oppressed, that is their felt reality, and all the stats and facts can't make them not feel angry and unfairly treated.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-01-21T17:43:53+00:00

They have an illusion that their laundry list of wants (whether they state it or not) is more abundant than it actually is.

There is also the element that many women have been pumped and dumped by a guy who is their quintessential ideal and therefore believe that’s what their relationship equity should be

Naru4odo · 2023-01-21T00:06:00+00:00

Because they all want the top 20% of men, the other 80% can go get fucked.

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wtknight · 2023-01-20T22:34:49+00:00

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MistyMaisel · 2023-01-21T04:11:21+00:00

I've never thought whatever trouble with men there may be is exclusive to American men by any stretch of the imagination. I assume this is just that you're mostly listening to American women and most of us think of our dating pool as whatever is largely local to us. This is simply because other countries aren't that close for most of us like Asia or Europe are. A closer equivalent for us would be dating people from other states.
I can't say I think the problem is with all men. Obviously, it's just most of the ones I've dated or thought about dating. I'm sure the rest are fantastic, just sadly not my scene. I think most women think like this, it's just that if you're complaining about dating, it's not ever going to be about all men. Just the men you'd kind of wish to date.
This is the internet. It's quite relieving to be negative here. Kind of like a diary. Not sure I'd take this all as gospel so much as venting worst thoughts.
With all that said. I think a lot (not near all. Maybe at most 40%) of the men I encounter are like living in a near permanent adolescence. Like, you cannot imagine them having children or even really any kinds of responsibility beyond a job which they seem to think is some impressive feat to manage to show up somewhere 40ish hours a week. Most of their free time seems to go towards video games or other garbage.
There's a feeling you get that a lot of them think of you like a pet. It's difficult to explain, but whether it is affection, sex stuff, or just socializing in similar places, you get this sense they don't really respect you as an equal human or partner. They just think you're like an adorable sex object or unruly pet they deal with. It's like the sweetest form of dehumanization ever.
The therapist thing. Oh my god. I don't know what is happening to men, I feel for you guys, but I am not a bloody social worker and therapist. Worst of all, they never listen. They just dump their baggage and any solutions or plans you try to form with them are never taken seriously. So frustrating. They make you their therapist, ignore you, and then don't even have the decency to improve and get better.

Again, this is mostly just what I've witnessed around me and dated. I dunno if it is the whole country or planet. Just quite common. And the sucky part is that usually you kinda have to get to know them to find all this out. This stuff doesn't tend to be super obvious right away.

I do feel like that is the one nice thing about women. We are usually obviously crackers, bonkers, crazy, or full of shit within like the first hour of knowing us. I feel like it's rare for me to hear a guy tell a story about dating a girl for 6 months only to suddenly realize she's mad as a hatter or completely and utterly useless.

14ers4days · 2023-01-21T05:18:56+00:00

Young Sheldon would say: Just because thing "A" is relatively more suitable than things "B" or "C" doesn't mean "A" is suitable enough for its desired purpose.

gopher_glitz · 2023-01-21T05:53:52+00:00

Because the more decent men a woman can reject the more her ego and self worth can grow. The more men she can tell herself she 'doesn't need' the better she can feel about herself.

LotBuilder · 2023-01-21T06:35:32+00:00

The better your life is and the less stress and fight for survival you have the more time you have to compare yourselves to others and worry about what you don’t have. It’s like how a person who isn’t very hungry can go to a giant Las Vegas buffet and not think that any of the food looks good. They are spoiled

und3r-c0v3r · 2023-01-21T08:18:48+00:00

From my experience treating women better listening to them treating them as equals etc etc is the fastest way to loose respect from any woman. Then its just a matter of the guy realising she only sees him as a living ATM machine.

Safinated · 2023-01-21T16:39:20+00:00

For all that they are given, there seems to be little given back.

EricFisherNo1 · 2023-01-21T17:43:39+00:00

Do an exchange trip to Afghanistan and when you return, they will be like Gods and you will be content.

punapearebane · 2023-01-22T20:29:53+00:00

Bad news travels, thats why. Nobody talks about good things or good experiences. Bad ones stand out though.

Safinated · 2023-01-22T20:38:26+00:00

Let’s put it this way: you don’t have to be better than any type of man

You just have to be preferable to singledom

Sophiatab · 2023-01-22T21:48:57+00:00

I don't think American women are more dissatisfied. I think American women are just more honest about being dissatisfied. My Christian cousins in Eastern Europe are pretty open about saying the best state a woman can be in is widowhood with control of their late husband's property. I haven't meet many American women who feel this way.

itsokiloveu · 2023-01-24T12:53:49+00:00

I’m a Canadian woman and can confidently say that European men are 100X more loving, communicative, romantic, and expressive.

Men from North America now bore me to death,I’m actually planning on moving lol.

Title	Why do American women seem to be dissatisfied with the quality of American men?
Author	jespteins_blackbook
Upvotes	52
Comments	214
Date	January 20, 2023 9:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10h9q60/why_do_american_women_seem_to_be_dissatisfied/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-american-women-seem-to-be-dissatisfied-with.1149575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149575

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