CMV you don't need to be a whore to be good at sex

cetus_lettuce · 2023-10-22T04:51:03+00:00

I don't think this is the basis of the argument that people make

Far more often I see people say (and I agree) that if you want a partner who genuinely loves sex and gets off on it and is open to getting a bit freaky, you're going to struggle to find that in a woman who's been prudish before you.

Women who love sex, have sex. This idea of a chaste, low n girl who turns into an insatiable slut just for you is cope. Low n girls tend to either have a low libido, or they have sexual hangups and see it as something degrading to be used for making babies and then be reluctantly doled out on birthdays and anniversaries.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-22T12:26:35+00:00

Technique is not sufficient for good sex. Mutual attraction is absolutely necessary and must exist before worrying about technique.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2023-10-22T07:08:19+00:00

Agree there's no hard and fast tule, but I still think experience makes you more likely to be better. I would say being able to communicate is helpful, but having the opportunity to just go for it on someone who you don't feel like you really want to impress is also helpful. Especially experience with a few different people, who want different things, or themselves do different things .. it helps you know what you like, and how to adapt to it. Even learning what people need and communicate takes some experience... I know people who sucked at communication and picking up on body language on thier first relationship.. but after a while was fine... What do you define as a whore? You are right some people with less partners can be better than others with many partners ... Just like some people with one job can be better that others with loads of jobs... But I would say that people who got the chance to experiment a bit got a better range of experience to practice all the things you say make a good sexual partner.

Schwappe · 2023-10-22T14:20:04+00:00

The best partners are probably:empathetic, enthusiastic, and a good communicator

I think more bodies can teach you what you like and what you like in other people sexually, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to developing those other traits.

You can be a virgin and have all of these, or been around and not. I got with a girl who called herself a late bloomer and she was miles ahead of the girl with more “experience” because she cared about both of us.

I just think body count doesn’t directly correlate to MOST of the good or bad traits people attach to it

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2023-10-22T11:05:45+00:00

Some people are naturals and some people couldn't fuck their way out of a paper bag.

But yeah you can gain a lot of experience with 1 partner as long as you're both adventurous.

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-10-22T08:33:33+00:00

How do you know that someone is good at sex? you compare them to someone else. People with the same level experience need to be together that's all.

WaitingForTheFire · 2023-10-22T17:28:16+00:00

Having experience is not the same as "sleeping around". From a male perspective, a woman in her thirties who has had somewhere between 3 and 9 sexual partners would be wonderful to find. That is not to say that there is anything automatically wrong with a woman whose "body count" is in the double digits. Like most things in life, experience is usually the most effective way to become good at something. If you want a virgin, you have to accept the learning curve that comes along with a lack of experience.

However, the opposite end of the spectrum can also be less than ideal. "Sleeping around" implies not staying with one partner long enough to really learn what that person likes. In the bedroom, being able to please the other person should always be an important goal. This last sentence is directed at any and all genders. (Just wanted to be clear that I'm not picking on women.) Be good to your partner, and they are very likely to return that kindness. If someone is choosing sexual partners with very little discretion and leaving them after only one or two sexual encounters, that does not contribute to improving one's lovemaking skills, in my opinion.

It's true that some people sleep around to cope with the pain of a bad breakup or to deal with severe depression. I'm not going to criticize anyone for this because the world can be a cruel place, and sometimes we humans need any comfort that we can find. On the other hand, if someone goes through life with a long-term PATTERN of having meaningless sex with multiple people on a regular basis, they may have difficulty coping with the demands of a traditional monogamous relationship.

Workaholiconew · 2023-10-22T04:08:57+00:00

Lets be real. Men are extremely easy to please.

Bad sex is still good sex and all you need to do is to pay attention to your partner an dreact accordinly in order to be good at sex for a woman.

BunnyFlopped · 2023-10-22T10:44:30+00:00

I mean… define whore, right?

If a whore is a person who has had sex before:

I hope you don’t genuinely think that the first time someone will ever have sex it will be done perfectly without a learning curve.

If a whore is a person who has had sex with upwards of ten people before:

No one has this standard in mind? The average person does not sleep with this many people in their lifetime.

You need to do something repeatedly to become good at it. You are not naturally inclined to be good at sex with your specific partner just because you want to be. Sex gets better overtime. If you are a whore for not being a virgin, then yeah I guess I disagree with your sentiment.

MidoriEgg · 2023-10-22T16:44:17+00:00

While I think that’s true, if you want a girl who’s attractive, outgoing and with a high libido, you’re going to have a hard time finding one that doesn’t have a higher headcount than other peers.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-10-22T04:13:54+00:00

On the flip side, having multiple sex partners doesn’t devalue women or make them whores. This notion fails to account for first experiences when both parties are incompatible or men who are extremely deceptive, devious, noncommital, and users. It demonizes women who, like many men, are dating and having safe, responsible casual sex. It’s also a sentiment that bashes women for not knowing the man she was with was extremely deceptive, noncommittal and a user. So what? After being hurt by a guy or realizing he’s not it, is a woman to shut her legs forever and never date again or marry the first man she encounters?

A lot of you love to chant: “choose better.”

What many of you hate to admit is that experience is incredibly necessary to know oneself and achieve compatible relationships sexually and otherwise. Experience is also unavoidable when living life. The lessons learned from experience are immensely valuable. Instead you want to punish women for gaining experience, while you on the other hand get a pass for it. (Likely because the more sexual experience a woman gains the more likely she’s able to realize how incompatible she is with you or how inexperienced you are.)

Also the odds of a virgin developing a relationship with a man who values her as woman and cares about her needs in the bedroom to enable and empower her to gain experience with just him, are questionable at best. The emotional intelligence this demands from an early 20 something year old American man is laughable. Especially, if the entire reason she’s being courted isn’t because of who she is but because her youth and purity are prioritized and prized. She’s essentially an object.

Sexually, if it were that great for virgins they sure as hell would have hung on to the first man they ever had. Most don’t and with good reason.

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Ecstatic_Edge5825 · 2023-10-22T12:02:30+00:00

100% this. The least experienced girl I’ve slept with so far was the absolute best at sex. Best energy, involvement, technique and willingness to try non-vanilla stuff, and she’s only had sex 3 times before me. The super experienced loose ones only have their expectations higher, so not a great deal. It still doesn’t matter to me that much, I don’t discriminate, but I very much agree with op.

Important-Roll782 · 2023-10-22T15:15:39+00:00

A guy thinking porn stars are good at sex is a sure sign that that guy doesn't know what good sex is, but practice tends to make one better at all things and sex is not an exception.

mummydontknow · 2023-10-22T17:31:16+00:00

Older straight millennial woman here. I know we are talking about women--but two of the worst male sex partners I had in my life were "promiscuous" (at least they said they were). The best male sex partners for me had a lower body count. What made them good is that they knew how to listen to me on what I wanted. The promiscuous guys thought that their way was the best, when their way doesn't work for every women.

I have also met promiscuous women in their 20's and 30's who didn't know much about sex either, despite claiming to have slept with so many people. One promiscuous woman told me that women just have to spread their legs and "give sex to men." I am like "huh? That's your idea of good sex?"

It's possible that some of the promiscuous people also were lying or exaggerating about their N-count. Who knows.

I have also met some promiscuous people who don't like sex, but they do it for other reasons.

So--I don't believe that being promiscuous always makes you a skilled sex partner. If you have to brag about how great in bed you are (I can think of a few promiscuous men and women who do this), I am not impressed.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-10-23T06:49:28+00:00

best sex i had was with women who didn't sleep around. maybe not the first time, but eventually.

if a woman is/was into casual sex, that's all she's gonna get from me.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-10-22T11:32:58+00:00

this is a backwards understanding. the traits that make someone good in bed often also make them a whore. sexual disinhibition in particular

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-10-22T12:42:42+00:00

Ngl, this logic sounds like “men can be good at sex if they jerk off a lot!”

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

Safinated · 2023-10-22T14:45:57+00:00

Yes, you do. Because for many men, sex is about maximal usage, and the women most voluntarily open to that are...used

BigBrilla · 2023-10-22T04:02:55+00:00

I don’t care for sex unless it’s to express love with my future wife and to produce children..

Any girl can learn how to be “good” at sex. A good women will offer many more valuable things such as being caring, nurturing etc. I want a women that’s going to mother our children and be a lifelong partner :)

Rogue5454 · 2023-10-22T05:54:35+00:00

What. Lol ya you can do all that with casual hook-ups too.

I say practice makes perfect, but you’re also learning new things by not just being with one person.

Then, when you feel you’ve learned enough pick “one” person (if monogamous relationship is your thing).

Affectionate-Base645 · 2023-10-22T04:13:31+00:00

I find it odd when women say they dislike virgin men because they prefer 'experienced' men who know how to please a woman. According to this 'logic,' they shouldn't get upset if their husbands cheat on them to learn 'new tricks' to please them in bed.

obviousredflag · 2023-10-22T20:34:57+00:00

Of course there are outliers, but overall or on average, experience and practice with different people makes you good at sex. What is true professionally is also true with sex. It's a skill, and you need to train it, have talent for it and be exposed to different stimuli and teachers to master it.

Moneydamjan · 2023-10-22T07:05:55+00:00

men don't care how good women are in bed, just be hot and submissive

MacaronFinancial · 2023-10-22T10:14:46+00:00

I used to think that women care about men's experience. What I believe now is that 'experience' is partially code for height, face and penis size. That's not all there is to it because average guys are getting lucky (it's called getting lucky because average men need luck) and in those instances experience can make or break the deal because women expect average men to follow a certain communicational script to make up for their lack of genetic quality.

There may be some exceptions like the so called 'teenage love' where the girl is not yet jaded, is unaware of her SMV and the male body is still a novelty to her.

Another thing is that since puberty females are the gatekeepers of true sexuality and boys and men try to extract cues from their behavior, anecdotes, articles and popular culture to understand how they are wanted to act. The average man's sex script is a story line starting with intense foreplay and ending in intercourse and when a woman is perceived to be aroused a lot of men try to rush through the sex because they are afraid that the window will close due to time, him saying or doing something she does not like or her seeing a butterfly and going after it (joke).

Most men are very insecure to insert their sexuality into any moment where the woman is not perceived to be aroused and they also believe themselves to be underdogs who need to be on their tip toes all the time. This is a black pill that most men take intuitively. Most men are scared to be seen naked, most men are afraid that the woman will be disgusted by their body and especially by their genitalia and particularly if the penis is not chronically hard.

Most men are also comfortable with the nudity of their partner and not rushing into 'porn sex' right away but they have logically concluded that they don't have any real leverage and cannot hold their sensuality out as a bait to lure and enliven their partner. If you ever see a movie where a man is suggestively licking a taco and opening a woman's trousers in exchange for some privilege you've been watching a comedy.

If the man is attractive enough, a woman may perhaps care enough to learn about male sexuality and also find out that a woman does not have to do special tricks or build a special atmosphere to enjoy touch and gazes but I'm not sure if this happens for two reasons:

-the man is the underdog and not attractive enough

-women find it hard to understand how male sexuality is different

So things can come down to solipsism where the woman expects that her 'fifty shades of whatever' fantasy is also what all men want and she emphasizes positioning herself as the object and the man as the subject where him being aroused is the precondition for her arousal. It is better than nothing but can grow old over time. Men also like to be objects and unlike female genitalia male genitalia is quite evenly innervated and even a clumsy touch can feel arousing to a man whereas with women the man usually feels he has to concentrate on creating the right kind of friction for the right time because seeing the man go to work on her does not provide the woman with much visual satisfaction. Every woman from the age of 13 knows that her junk is hot stuff; she does not get any sense of relief and acceptance from a man touching her and she usually does not see much to be aroused for in the man...all this leads to the general relationship sex where the man heroically tries to fight his way into orgasm before the woman changes her mind. Chads and teenage love cases may include cases of the female partner with the male's genitals for hours but the general adult relationship is one of sparse and frenzy short stories ending in intercourse.

Different-Virus-7474 · 2023-10-22T06:36:30+00:00

I don't mind a sexual girl with a bit of experience but when she has an extended slut phase into her late 20s, I can't take her seriously. 40 plus body count is too much.

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2023-10-22T12:01:41+00:00

What defines being good at sex? Since it involves other people, does being good mean pleasing one consistent partner? Pleasing multiple one night stands? If it's the latter, I'm shit at sex then. I never had sexual experiences with random women.

sharksville · 2023-10-22T14:14:26+00:00

Honestly, it will be good between the two if they actually want to do it with each other, and not just do it for the sake of it. Usually the people, women especially, that debate on good and bad sex are the ones that own a plethora of toys, sleeping around with a new person every night after a night out at the club/bar because they try so hard to find the satisfaction and do it the incorrect way. Me and my wife enjoy when we’re doing it with each other because we want to get intimate with each other. We don’t find the need to try this toy or that toy or this thing or that thing to find pleasure. We didn’t and don’t need to get physical with a third person in the mix. Often my wife with just put on a different lingerie once in a while and that’s just about it. People pursuit sexual pleasure by trying so many different things it’s basically just complicating a simple thing by having a wide variety of options. What if they use this thing or that thing, what if a sleep with this man/woman or that man/woman, what if I do it in a group with an X number of people.

It’s kinda like how some gym coaches might say, you don’t need to do every single exercise to build a bigger bicep, you just need 2-3 variations and perfect those. Keeping it simple is the key. If you want to do it with that person, you will want to do it and you will want to do it without the need for anything else.

SmilesRHere · 2023-10-22T17:00:07+00:00

Deny it all you want but what applies to almost anything in life also applies to sex.

Two inexperienced and unskilled, or low experience and skill people learning, with and from each other?

Try and error learning.

With lots of mistakes and a ceiling for the skill/experience that is possible to achieve.
More than likely leading to one, or both not enjoying said activity, and loosing desire to experiment and or learn more.
Unfortunately, given the way humans are built, the guy is almost guaranteed to get pleasure from even the most mediocre sex, it doesn’t take much for him to cum.
The woman? A whole different experience, she will feel little or no pleasure, and more often than not, pain during the experimentation with a fumbling guy.

Which leads to a huge portion of women never experiencing the true pleasures of sex, sometimes even going through life without a single orgasm.

You think these women will want sex? To try it out more often? When all they’ve known is a lackluster or even painful experience from it?

And no, short of being truly gifted by birth for sex, those two will never, ever have the skills and experience that someone who has learned from many will.

No matter how well they communicate and are attentive to each other, they will never, ever, be able achieve the skills of the truly experienced.

Edit:

I’m not saying a women needs to go through life with tens or hundreds of partners, but she is more likely to meet someone that knows what they’re doing, and discover the joys of good sex, if they have more than a handful of partners. Just like a guy is more likely to learn how to please a woman when he meets one that can show and tell how to please her, and other women.

And of course one need to be open to communication, learning and be attentive. There are a ton of guys that may have scores or sexual partners but because they never really pay attention, and just focus on getting off themselves, remain at best mediocre sexual partners that are unable to really please women.

BackgroundPain6691 · 2023-10-22T22:11:02+00:00

Let’s real. Men are not hard to please. There’s no such thing called “bad” sex.

lovestocomment · 2023-10-23T05:11:10+00:00

The First part of this post is bullshit. No man is out there expecting pornstar sex from a virgin. Also, being a whore doesn't mean you offer good sex. Being slut doesn't mean you offer good sex either...

Good sex comes with practice. And staying fit, having an open mind and willingness to learn. Like a lot of things. Whether you're slut or whore or only been with one person, like everything else it's practice. And you don't need to fuck hundreds of people to get good at sex. Men know this, and that's why it's men should avoid promiscuous women for relationships and Use them for practice and blowing off steam.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-10-23T07:33:03+00:00

You don't need a bunch of experience with a bunch of people, bit you at least need lots pf experience with one person.

LTRs teach much better anyways, even for guys.

Main_Device115 · 2023-10-23T11:51:46+00:00

Yeah but you will have more experience, no better what you like and not like and probably more comfortable with your own body.

Title	CMV you don't need to be a whore to be good at sex
Author	mummydontknow
Upvotes	94
Comments	289
Date	October 22, 2023 3:42 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17dkdl9/cmv_you_dont_need_to_be_a_whore_to_be_good_at_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-you-dont-need-to-be-a-whore-to-be-good-at-sex.1235979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235979

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