Turning 30 and worried about losing desirability from men.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-10-31T21:45:12+00:00

OPs should be discussion topics, not requests for advice about personal experiences.

Ok-Expression7575 · 2023-10-31T15:46:06+00:00

This trope exists because a lot of people just flat out let themselves go around 30, women tend to be valued more for their looks than men

Hoopy223 · 2023-10-31T16:17:50+00:00

Meanwhile on another part of Reddit:

“I’m a guy almost thirty and only had one girlfriend seven years ago and never get matched on Tinder. What are the odds of improving things for myself?”

Reddit: HAHAHAHAHA

lle-ell · 2023-10-31T16:09:29+00:00

I had the same feeling and irrational fear. Then I met the love of my life at 30, and we’re getting married shortly.

That being said, for a lot of people the real wall is having kids. People (men and women both if they’re sharing the burden equally) age rapidly after having children. Make sure that if you do it, do it with someone who doesn’t only value you for your looks.

biscuitcatapult · 2023-10-31T15:48:05+00:00

Just keep taking care of yourself. It gets harder as you get older, but it’s not impossible, nor is it a monumental challenge for most people.

If you’re fit, healthy, and put effort into your appearance, you will most likely keep being attractive well into your 40s.

ignitedwolf9200 · 2023-10-31T19:24:44+00:00

This is just a myth. Don’t worry babe men will fuck anything

AerieNo7724 · 2023-10-31T20:25:08+00:00

Please join r/fourthwavewomen . Save yourself the agony

FaradayBurka · 2023-10-31T15:40:22+00:00

The internet has filled your mind with garbage. Stop worrying about non-problems.

4SSh01e · 2023-10-31T16:08:34+00:00

There is a 33 years old woman in my gym who is probably among the hottest people I have ever seen in my life, but she's an absolute gym rat and has a physique of a professional athlete. I am not saying that you have to be at her level of fitness but 5-8 hrs of dedicated intense workout per week and watching your diet on top of that would keep you very competitive not only at 30 but way beyond that.

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2023-10-31T17:21:04+00:00

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-31T16:16:57+00:00

There is less intergenerational sexual competition among women now given that age gapped relationships are increasingly discouraged. So as long as you are happy dating within your age range, it isn't a huge change.

However, men are attracted to female beauty AND neoteny. It is that youthful cuteness that often inspires those really romantic feelings that layer on top of raw sexual attraction. The kind of feeling that makes a man want to write poetry and die for a woman. As a woman ages, she loses that neoteny and that ability to inspire that quality of male attraction. She can still generate a lot of sexual attraction from men, which can evolve into real love and commitment. However, for a young and hot woman, there can be a rockstar like quality to how the world treats you. Men of all ages and even some women just look at you a certain way. When this goes it is gone, and for some women the loss is traumatic.

jaybalvinman · 2023-10-31T17:50:44+00:00

I was like you. I was terrified of turning 30. So I took a trip to Miami ON my birthday and partied and got hit on by tons of dudes. That distracted me for a bit. 30s was fine.

Then I got married, had kids and then BOOM, Im 40.

40 sucks. I hadnt realized you literally become invisible and unwanted in such a short amount of time. No matter how good you take care of yourself. You can work out 3 hours a day and get top notch dermatologist care but that will not stop your face bone structure from changing. You will look old no matter what you do. Men dont like old. Even old men dont like old.

I say you have a good 6 years to enjoy being youthful.

lady_ven0m · 2023-10-31T17:57:34+00:00

I’m 36 and I’ve never had more people stare at or hit on me. Take care of yourself and you can be attractive well into old age.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-10-31T18:57:24+00:00

I am 43 years old and still look pretty damn good. And still haven’t stop receiving attention and interest from men.

The manosphere sells this “wall” myth to disgruntled men who are angry with women not giving them a chance. They try to scare younger women into settling with them as a result. Don’t fall for the nonsense. Talk to older women, and you will find that it’s all just a revenge fantasy with no basis in reality.

Raileyx · 2023-10-31T15:41:02+00:00

Women of all ages can be desirable, but seeking validation from internet strangers (and specifically such an incel infested community as this one) is not a good starting point.

Besides, worrying about this isn't productive. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally, be open to new experiences, and put yourself out there. That's all anyone can do. Whatever happens, happens.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-10-31T15:46:46+00:00

MILFs have been a long known phenomenon. Life and your desirability don’t end at thirty if you take care of your physical and emotional health.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-31T16:10:38+00:00

Milf is literally one of the top rated porn categories. So. Apparently a majority of us men are very attracted to older women.

obviousredflag · 2023-10-31T17:20:10+00:00

Most people are far from their potential. If you choose to improve your physical attractiveness now, you will be hotter at 30 than at 29. There is arbitrary filter setting, like with women and their 6feet filter, though. So you might see an effect on online dating, but that's still more men than you could ever date, who are interested in you.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-10-31T15:41:29+00:00

Of course. There are plenty of hot women south of 40, and many north of 40 as well. Hell, an average 40 year old woman is still significantly more sexually valuable than an average 40 year old man. You’ll be fine.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-10-31T16:32:20+00:00

Do you really think you’re going to look that different 6 months from now

Ex_Machina_1 · 2023-10-31T16:29:16+00:00

The whole idea that women after 30 arent desirable is a myth made up by giys on the Internet. In real life being over 30 has never been a deal breaker for anyone.

meisterkraus · 2023-10-31T16:04:04+00:00

If you are taking care of yourself physically you will be fine.

Preact5 · 2023-10-31T16:57:19+00:00

It depends if you have an attractive personality, good life situation, and you look good.

If you've got that there's nothing to worry about!

0DarkFlirty · 2023-10-31T17:21:03+00:00

Of course you can be hot in your 30s. And your 40s and your 50s. It's just unlikely a person is gonna continue to get physically hotter the older they get. We don't have an entire beauty industry around preserving features associated with youth because we think looking 40 is better than looking 25.

JSears90210 · 2023-10-31T18:14:49+00:00

An attractive person is an attractive person regardless of their age. If you stay physically attractive you will always have a wide variety of options. This goes for men and women.

Also I can guarantee you that if guys your own age are not interested there are a hell of a lot of 40 something guys that will be.

If you have options now it is a good bet that you will continue to have options.

GodspeedHarmonica · 2023-10-31T18:55:49+00:00

Depends on how they keep themselves. I have dated women in their 30s even 40s who look stunning. I've also seen - not dated - women in their 20s who look like they have been hit by a truck.

Overall women will get less attractive with age. And they will always have to compete with the younger better looking ones. Some women handle this great, others don't

So it's really up to you

Familiesarenations · 2023-10-31T19:12:27+00:00

I got a lot more attention from men in my 30's vs. 20's. 30's are a fun age. You and your peers are more mature and know what you want, have more means to get it, and there's generally less bullshit to deal with.

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2023-10-31T19:27:02+00:00

Do you think women can still be hot in their early 30s?

Absolutely, as long as she actually has a personality and hobbies. If she thinks she's valuable solely because she's a woman, then yeah, she loses desirability.

"The wall" is real, but it only exists for women who have built it themselves.

IAbstainFromSociety · 2023-10-31T20:21:32+00:00

The only men who won't be interested in you after 30 are not men you want to be with.

DrBoby · 2023-10-31T16:43:48+00:00

You already lost desirability. You are less desirable at 29 than when younger.

And you'll keep losing desirability at a slowly increasing rate.

You don't hit the wall at midnight on your 30th birthday. It's an allegory. It means it accelerate around that age.

Also for sex it doesn't really matter, the wall is mostly relevant to LTR, especially if you want kids. You'll manage by lowering your standards, notably trying to settle with older guys.

John_Oakman · 2023-10-31T16:00:41+00:00

You will lose all your desirability from the based & redpilled real men of the manosphere, the incels, and most of the other misogynists.

So what makes the opinions of those men so far above the more openminded views of the rest of the males?

spicytuna12391 · 2023-10-31T19:58:22+00:00

Have you seen the Golden Bachelor? Those women are fucking hot.

Ever since I turned 30, dating has been the opposite for me. Men actually take me seriously. When I was in my 20s, they treated me like an object.

No-Resource2745 · 2023-10-31T16:05:36+00:00

The men who think women are automatically less attractive once they turn thirty, are the men you don’t want to be dating anyway. If you’re concerned about skin aging, start using a low dose retinol serum as a part of your skincare regimen if you haven’t started yet. Otherwise, enjoy your thirties, they are way better than your twenties.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-10-31T17:10:09+00:00

Yes. My wife and I were both in our 30s when we met. "The wall" is just misogynistic garbage propped up by angry dudes who fantasize about all the women who rejected them crawling back for another chance.

bottleblank · 2023-10-31T16:20:33+00:00

What do you think is going to change in the next 6 months?

If men like you now, they'll still like you then. You don't suddenly become a vile ogre the moment of midnight on your 30th birthday.

But yes, I do think women can still be hot in their early 30s. I would be only too happy to demonstrate that, given the opportunity.

Key-Pineapple-1427 · 2023-10-31T16:39:15+00:00

I actually get more attracted to women as they age

noise__floor · 2023-10-31T17:22:05+00:00

Women age 30-50 are the hottest in my opinion. They don’t like me though

MamaMitch1 · 2023-10-31T18:08:21+00:00

I'm 27 and will actively hit on early 40's women who I think are hot. 30 is nothing dude.

lolthankstinder · 2023-10-31T19:34:06+00:00

Statistically, men and women finally start becoming equally desirable around late 30s. You’re not becoming “ugly”, you’re just growing closer to understanding how it feels to be a male under 30 trying to date. If you are worried about that, might be time to introspect.

KlingKlangKing · 2023-10-31T17:10:14+00:00

What if I told you you can't bang Chad's anymore. How would that make you feel?

KingWhoCared86 · 2023-10-31T17:45:54+00:00

I worked with a ton of 20 year old guys looking for women in their mid 30s to early 40s so I don’t think hope is lost for you.

Keeenw · 2023-10-31T16:53:03+00:00

While women can certainly still be hot at 30; 40 and even 50 for me personally they lose that certain "glow" they have compared to when they are 18-25 years old. It's why at 30 years old I rarely develop a deep crush anymore on the women I am dating. I think they are attractive but that's it. I don't daydream about them at home like I did when I was younger and could date younger women.

Things that make women attractive like soft glowing skin; facial fat; big sparkling eyes; thick pink lips; small nose and thick healthy hair (neoteny) all tend to go away after reaching a certain year (mostly around 25+). Their skin gets harsher; they lose their facial fat (not to be confused with fat from being overweight); their eyes get smaller; their lips get smaller; their nose gets bigger and their hair gets thinner. They lose that IT factor that makes your head turn and your heart beat faster due to the dopamine rush by just looking or talking to them.

While they still can look beautiful after turning 30 mainly by staying fit it's not a kind of beauty anymore that men will go to war for. Even some of the most beautiful women on earth (prime Adriana Lima or prime Megan Fox) don't do much for me anymore looking at their recent pics.

This is the pinnacle of female beauty to me and women cannot look like that anymore after turning 30 : https://www.tiktok.com/@meeyadugiedd/video/7188589958796430634

You shouldn't worry too much though. As a 30 years or even 40 years old woman you'll still have more SMV than most young men in their twenties. You just won't be able to compete with prime women though for the most attractive men or make head turns in public.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2023-10-31T16:40:58+00:00

Just don’t be fat + ugly + be a single mom. Otherwise you’ll do fine.

No_Sandwich_9143 · 2023-10-31T16:55:10+00:00

is this sarcasm?

PrecisionHat · 2023-10-31T17:21:40+00:00

Maybe talk to a therapist?

As you age, generally, you won't be as attractive. That's common sense. But it doesn't mean you aren't still attractive, in general.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-10-31T17:34:14+00:00

this as to be a troll right?

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Complex-Hat1875 · 2023-10-31T16:06:01+00:00

As long as you keep working on yourself you'll be fine. My sister is 36 twice divorced with three kids, a bit overweight and still has plenty of men chasing after her. No guarantees, time is a bitch and takes us all, but I've seen smoking hot women up to their 60's

A few wrinkles isn't going to get you that much less attention, "the wall" is kind of a joke outside of fertility concerns.

Khidorahian · 2023-10-31T16:35:20+00:00

You'll be fine.

thedarkracer · 2023-10-31T16:58:51+00:00

It's not the age per se but the age when it catches up. If you maintain yourself you will be fine

63daddy · 2023-10-31T17:28:38+00:00

No magic change occurs the moment you turn 30. I actually find early to mid 30s to be a great age for women as many have several years of real world experience but less likely to have some of the things that tend to pop up later in life. Dine if my most memorable relationships were with women in their 30s.

I think more than your age per se, is knowing what you want out of relationships. If you haven’t yet had kids but want to, that’s beginning to be a bit more pressing and impact what you seek in a relationship.

Professional_Bad_282 · 2023-10-31T17:30:30+00:00

Just don't get fat and not let your hair get thin, you will be desirable throughout your time on earth.

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-10-31T17:40:25+00:00

You’re gonna be just fine 🙂

I’ve seen tooons of hot af women in their 30s, it’s definitely doable. Also guys aren’t gonna run away from you just cause you are 30 lol

hopeidontforget2021 · 2023-10-31T18:01:31+00:00

You will fall off a cliff on dating apps because many men up to like 35 turn set their age limit sharp at 29. But in public it'll be the same until you really visibly age.

iSubParMan · 2023-10-31T18:12:31+00:00

Do men really put that much into youth where 30 is old?

2023-10-31T18:16:04+00:00

Let me be frank you it doesn't matter if you loose desirability for some men. Like do you want to really be desired by 21 year olds or 60 year olds. Even with in your own demographic would you want to be desired by psychopaths and abusers?

I empathize how the Internet affects our cognitive narrative about the world but it's important to recognize a conjecture of reality isn't reality the same way a picture of a rock is not the rock itself.

Yes men care about looks but not as much as everything else about a women. I saw skinny guys with fat girls or with women not that attractive. I have faith in you OP

tiddermacss · 2023-10-31T18:55:49+00:00

so what? by 30 you should have other things going for yourself.. loosing desirability from a section of men should not impact you at all..

jamie29ky · 2023-10-31T19:56:47+00:00

Growing old is inevitable. What happens when you are undeniably not "hot" to the majority of men anymore? It will happen. You need to figure out who you are without it and why it means so much to you.

gntlbastard · 2023-10-31T20:01:39+00:00

You know how women use filters on apps to filter out men by height? Well the same filter allows you to filter out by age.

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-10-31T20:02:06+00:00

Start an OFs page.

tbmnitz · 2023-10-31T20:48:27+00:00

The wall applies more so to women who lack personality.

A lot of women coast through their 20s relying on their looks and never really developing a personality. People will overlook character flaws because they're young and attractive, but are much less willing to look past a dull, vapid personality once the looks begin to fade and those wrinkles start showing.

If you have an endearing personality, age will be less of an issue.

The fact you're worrying about still being "hot" isn't a good sign though. It sounds like vanity, which is another character flaw that doesn't age well. Your looks will fade sooner or later. You should worry more about being likeable and other positive traits that outlast looks.

Title	Turning 30 and worried about losing desirability from men.
Author	ImpossibleRead4200
Upvotes	0
Comments	138
Date	October 31, 2023 3:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17kn8d3/turning_30_and_worried_about_losing_desirability/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/turning-30-and-worried-about-losing-desirability.1236918 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236918

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