Staring vs glancing

sometimesthisisweird · 2023-12-06T17:17:00+00:00

I agree that we do need to analyze a case by case situation. There is a clear difference between glancing and staring. Men, women can see you glance or stare. It is super obvious. Your eyes moving up and down when you talk to us don't lie. But that is fine. Staring feels very intimidating, doesn't matter who is doing it.

I've seen videos of creepy staring, men who just don't socially know better. Also, have seen men just going on about their day and some social media attention Tik Tok bitch makes it a big deal.

Let's not group everyone into the same group. If you happen to watch a video, watch it and make your own judgment call.

neinhaltchad · 2023-12-06T21:11:22+00:00

Let’s drop autistic blackpill bullshit and be real for a second.

There is a world of difference in how one looks and even how one stares. And while the reaction to such staring has a lot to do with the attractiveness of the stater, this not always the case.

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I remember hearing a comedian saying something along the lines of “there’s a fine line between flirtatious eye contact and the piercing stare of a maniac”

It’s been 2-3 years since clout chasing attention whores of all stripes started posting shit on TikTok. Please recognize we are in an “attention economy” and these people (almost always women in this particular example) are setting these traps to score victim points and attention on social media.

There’s nothing else to it.

We created this beast. No attention is bad attention in 2023. It all translates into clicks which can be monetized. You are the customer and you are voting with your clicks and by extension dollars for more of this shit.

Ever notice how nobody really cites the book “1984” anymore when being critical of the “surveillance state”?

That’s because the 1984 surveillance state is here and has been for years and we the people created it.

The flying cameras and “telescreens” from the book didn’t even contemplate that every human would eagerly turn themselves into a walking combination of both.

The man made surveillance state comes complete with doublespeak, 2 minutes hate and “unpersoning” and we helped it along every step of the way.

Nobody brings up the book anymore because to do so would be to acknowledge that we’re living in it by our own choice.

Steakman1 · 2023-12-06T18:21:02+00:00

I haven’t seen a single video that even shows a man actually staring at a woman.

I agree most of the videos out there are bogus. But I also remember this one which is well beyond a man staring at a woman. To be fair this wasn’t a video the woman herself recorded since she obviously was not in a position to do that.

My view is pretty much what the general view is. Shame the ones that are clearly a load of crap and bring awareness to the ones that are legit. If the victims of the bogus videos suffer any sorts of damages, then they should pursue legal action.

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-12-06T17:13:36+00:00

"If the dude looks away every few seconds, it means, at most, he's checking you out" Staring also includes primarily looking at something. He is primarily looking at the woman, and looking away to, assumedly, "not stare".

I realize nuance isn't something guys here seem to understand. So, here is a helpful tip. If you have to consciously look away from a woman more than once, you are probably staring.

Amiskon2 · 2023-12-06T19:50:42+00:00

We are rediscovering Middle Eastern gender rules.

D_Ralz910 · 2023-12-06T17:18:54+00:00

I feel like this is more of an internet thing because I don’t care and none of my friends do either. I know most guys are gonna take glances and I am used to it. I feel like guys just don’t understand that we are usually talking about creeps that look like they are gonna stalk us

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-12-06T20:10:59+00:00

One time I adjusted my man parts in my skinny jeans and a female bartender just straight up stared with her eyebrows raised. What should I have done?

bioh4ckdr · 2023-12-07T00:08:11+00:00

I never look at anyone when outside. I try just to be invisible and go about my day.

itm4l2000 · 2023-12-07T14:06:45+00:00

Depends, if there is mutual attraction. Women find it addictive and deeply arousing when they get the glance from men they have a thing for. At times they will unashamedly put on a show.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-12-06T17:25:23+00:00

It’s just incredibly exhausting as a women to go everywhere and just feel men’s eyes watching you. It’s a bit unsettling.

concretecannonball · 2023-12-06T17:25:44+00:00

I think any person who responds to women expressing concerns about their comfort and safety with “we need to stop taking this shit seriously” is a jackass lol

I guess this is another episode of “explaining to men that real life is not the internet and the internet is not real life.” Just because you as an individual haven’t seen a video of something online … doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Do you realize how disconnected from reality you sound?

Mitoza · 2023-12-06T19:54:28+00:00

Women on the train: "This guy was staring at me and it made me uncomfortable"

Men on this sub, tripping over their undone pants and falling face first exposing their whole ass: "Um, actually, what he was doing was not staring because it was not prolonged per se. As you can clearly see he breaks his gaze over multiple intervals. What he is doing is GLANCING or CHECKING YOU OUT, so clearly it is unreasonable for you to be uncomfortable"

captainhowdy82 · 2023-12-06T20:21:31+00:00

Lmaooooo as long as you look away every few seconds, you can look at a woman allllllll day and she’s not allowed to be uncomfortable /s

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2023-12-06T17:13:57+00:00

I mean i also hate being checked out consistently, like feeling somebodyy look at me every few secondss and then looking away when i look makes me want to leave the situationn because it makes me feel like meat or something. It doesn’t matter if he’s conventionally attractive or not. Im also slightly autistic idk maybe that plays a role

I wouldnt record a guy, unless he was commiting a crime like q stranger touching himself in public while looking at me( has happened to me on 3 seperate occasions inthe last two years and i dress elly modestly hoping it will stop the harassment 🙃) i cant help that i am a woman and therefore woman shaped and have blonde hair. I would like to be able to go our in public and existt without needing to essentially micromanage my aurroundings on high alert

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-06T17:53:23+00:00

Nothing wrong with glancing at someone/checking them out.

Staring does sometimes happen and it is intimidating/inappropriate, but doesn’t mean it’s okay to post videos of those men to TikTok most (but not all) men who will intensely stare you out usually have some sort of ~issues~

womandatory · 2023-12-07T06:43:31+00:00

Scanning and objectifying women in public is porn culture.

Men need to learn some self control.

Tight-Breeder · 2023-12-07T13:22:56+00:00

Its women's own fault.

They got so addicted to attention on social media, chasing likes after likes, views after views, that they have created the idea of having eyes on them at all times.

And then when they go outside all of a sudden they feel they are the center of attention with men all looking at them, when in reality most are just minding our business, going our way and doing our jobs.

The more social media addicted women are, the more obsessed they are with attention, the more paranoid they become.

They created their own mental illness.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-12-06T20:22:41+00:00

Women aren’t constantly recording, there was likely significant staring happening before she started recording.

infps · 2023-12-06T19:02:32+00:00

The point of the videos is two-fold:

(1)Start arguments (which apparently it got you doing). It wouldn't do this if it were obvious/cut and dry/clear answer. Remember, it's a social media company. Attention is oil for the company. You're getting drilled. Consider deleting the app.

(2)Allow expensive signaling to a tribe. This gets complicated, but if there is ambiguity or even better if something clearly isn't a case of "staring" but I swear up and down that it is, or say so publicly with a straight face, I'm staking my own reputation on allegiance to people who don't want to get stared at. "Staking my reputation" is a form of expensive signal in itself, and when the example is more and more absurd, then I will be seen as more and more loyal to a particular tribe (see Marjorie Taylor Greene, for example of absurd staking).

That's it. Other than rubes, for the most part no one actually believes any of this shit, but we're in a tribal/culture war situation.

Dertross · 2023-12-07T00:00:38+00:00

Bodily autonomy is only for women, apparently.

Can't shame women for having abortions, having sex, or for what they wear.
But men can be circumcised, shamed for using their eyes in public, lambasted as creeps for just existing.

PM_ME_YOUR_DONGERZ · 2023-12-06T19:19:04+00:00

Looking is rape
-feminism, unironically

macone235 · 2023-12-06T20:12:48+00:00

It's very simple. If you're ugly, then it's staring. If you're attractive, then it's glancing.

lolthankstinder · 2023-12-06T18:40:16+00:00

Pretty soon men will have to wear the wings (blinder hats) from The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m sorry for not diverting my gaze my benevolent child giving overlord. Please don’t get me cancelled. Blessed be the fruit.

Teflon08191 · 2023-12-06T17:25:43+00:00

I think there's something ironic about women insisting in one breath that they "just want to be treated like people", but then in the next expressing their discontent that a man violated some unspoken set of rules they've come up with regarding how, when, where and in what fashion men are allowed to look at women in public.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-06T17:29:23+00:00

Some women, especially attention whores, love to exaggerate things for attention. More news at 11.

Twinseo09 · 2023-12-06T21:59:39+00:00

Go cry about it. We all have to navigate societal conventions and constructs that shape our behavior. These conventions serve as guidelines for how we interact with others and play a significant role in maintaining harmony within our communities. We do no cut in line, the simple act of saying thank you, or the importance of avoiding prolonged stares. These are all examples of societal norms that are instilled in us from a young age.

You do not have to adhere to these conventions. They are not mandatory. We have the freedom to choose whether or not to abide by these guidelines. However, you accept the consequences of disregarding these societal norms. Choosing to ignore them may result in others perceiving your behavior as creepy, ill-mannered, or inappropriate. Now if we choose to adhere to these societal norms, we demonstrate our awareness and consideration for others. And, In return they hopefully will do it too.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-06T21:01:34+00:00

Same as I said on that other post... sometimes you might want to consider minding your own damn business or at very least putting up a good show of minding your own damn business before someone else minds it for you by sharing footage of it online.

As someone who takes a lot of public transport and has had to deal with all sorts of bullshit on public transport I'm thrilled to know that young women are finding ways to take action. Well done girls, well done.

If you're maybe a bit autistic and have trouble with all this not being a creepy fucker stuff, go away and have a real hard think about how to improve. Chances are there's a bunch of situations in which your staring behaviour is damaging your reputation already, just nobody fancies confronting you about it. You should be grateful there is now a supply of publicly available evidence of what creeps people out. Maybe now you can quietly consider the evidence, make some changes and behave in ways that make you less socially marginalised.

Hoopy223 · 2023-12-06T17:49:32+00:00

Yeah the “omigod he STARING” TikTok’s are cringe.

Imagine if a guy made a thread about a woman staring at him at the gym. And he tried to figure out who she was so he could shame her publicly. It’s laughable.

wtknight · 2023-12-06T18:09:28+00:00

If a woman posts a video of a man “glancing”, and other women think that it’s staring, then that’s all that matters when it comes to social shame. Right now it’s mostly women using social media to socially shame men. Maybe things will change someday, though.

sixsevenrice · 2023-12-06T17:48:21+00:00

I don't care either way. If someone wants to make a big deal, we can go court. That's fine by me.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-12-06T17:34:16+00:00

If you look in a certain away or dressed in a certain way, expect a few glances or short stares. If it goes beyond that, then fair enough but what bugs me is that these women are bothered by the attention they get from men in public but are more than happy sharing their nudes for money. Such hypocrisy.

the_fozzy_one · 2023-12-06T20:38:57+00:00

Many women (especially younger ones) are attention whores and drama queens. If you're wanting that to stop, you're going to be waiting a very long time indeed.

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KayRay1994 · 2023-12-06T22:30:05+00:00

Let’s be real here, if most men had an old, ugly or even obese woman starting at them (or actively looking at them then turning back, which can feel intrusive btw) they’d be bothered too. I know i’ve been bothered by unwanted advances before.

Looking at the person over and over again isn’t literally staring, but it has a very similar effect. If you wanna check a person out or glance at them, fine, but it becomes a problem when they almost feel your eyes peering - sure, generally the limit between people is subjective, though that’s why a quick glance or maybe 2 at most are fine if you’re just looking at them with no intention to talk.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-06T23:12:59+00:00

What I feel like most of these posts are missing is that if a woman is recording, the guy has probably been “checking her out” for quite some time. Women are used to being checked out and I doubt they’re going to make a video unless the dude is being weird. I’m not saying it warrants making a TikTok, but it’s not just “glancing,” and I can see how it would make someone uncomfortable.

AngeCruelle · 2023-12-06T23:19:21+00:00

For me the gold standard is "would you do this if a man were with her."

There's nothing like the presence of another man to remind men what respectful behavior and boundaries look like. They only seem to acquire brain damage and forget about all of that when the woman is alone.

bifewova234 · 2023-12-06T22:02:59+00:00

Staring's fine.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-12-07T01:36:40+00:00

Look some men do it and we just know. I dont give one F what you want to come at me with some men are just creepy and many men here underestimate this.

Do I know some hes 'creepy' is over blown, yes but sorry many of you underestimate it here.

I do not condone just blasting things all over the net. So much is just ridiculous but dont think a bunch of its not real.

Ive experienced some of this before the net existed and during its inception. Ive used the net since it started. Before apps there was AOL/Yahoo/MySpace/Frinedster/etc. You 'youngings' are 'rookies' so to speak.

All that said, I think most men are over all decent. I think most people are or try to be. Its a minority that are a mess.

Training-Scheme-9980 · 2023-12-12T01:18:40+00:00

Feminist women want you to believe that just looking at a woman = literal rape

Title	Staring vs glancing
Author	PrecisionHat
Upvotes	10
Comments	375
Date	December 6, 2023 5:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18c8iuo/staring_vs_glancing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/staring-vs-glancing.1240297 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240297

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