Q4M: What dating advice would you give a guy who exudes “beta bux™️” but doesn’t want to be “beta bux™️”?

man-frustrated · 2025-04-19T19:35:33+00:00

He should vet for sexual enthusiasm. I don't know about strategy for how to actually attract that (assuming that's even possible), but he can at least vet against a lack of it.

The problem is that normie society teaches men that having sexual expectations of their girlfriend/wife is abusive and/or a symptom of "pornsickness", and that if his expectations aren't being met then it's entirely a problem with him and not her. Most betabuxx men don't know they're betabuxx and don't fully understand the issue until it's too late.

jazzmaster1992 · 2025-04-19T19:26:24+00:00

Realistically, there is no shortcut. Dress better, socialize often, acquire status, talk to women, and be comfortable hitting on them and asking them out. Many guys think they do this but they don't. They dress okay, and have a social circle, but so do most guys. If the issue is getting a girlfriend at all, the advice is that they will find someone some day who "likes them for who they are". But if the goal is to learn game and become more attractive, they have to put in the work, because players give off an air of social adroitness that cannot be faked.

growframe · 2025-04-19T21:19:07+00:00

-Improve your "alpha traits". Hit the gym, dress better, groom better, be more proactive, exciting and charismatic. It doesn't matter whether one believes they can become "Chad" but any guy can become more attractive.

-Be selfish. This advice is universal but it especially applies to these guys. What you want and what you're getting should be by far your main priority. A lot of these guys fall into "oneitis", getting super hung up on one girl, and people pleasing.

-Aggressively and actively select for enthusiasm and sexual attraction. Again, a universal "duh" aspect but it's really important if you don't want to be a betabux.

Alarmed_Load8145 · 2025-04-19T20:21:43+00:00

I would tell him to not exude desperation and to get in touch with who he is and develop an appreciation for it. In my opinion, the so-called 'betas' are oftentimes the ones who seek validation from women because they are on shaky grounds in terms of being comfortable with themselves. In other words, unless women fawn over them, they don't like themselves very much. They should also learn to be happy by themselves. If one likes oneself for who they are and is fine being alone, they can slowly work their way out of beta territory, because their desperation will lessen, and they will grow into their own person who cannot easily be pushed around. As a side note, I heavily disagree with the notion put forth by someone in the comments that it is better to be a beta bux than to not have a partner at all. If we are to use Red Pill lingo, this means 'it is better to be with someone who is only with you because you can provide than it is to be alone'. It is better to be alone than in bad company.

AMDisappointment · 2025-04-19T21:49:39+00:00

Be evil, maximize your "bad guy" vibe.

Listen to what women complain about and be that.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-04-20T00:55:26+00:00

Become more attractive by improving in the areas he can. Hide his money and only reveal it over time. Learn to banter, flirt, joke, tell compelling stories, and lead an interesting and social life that gives him confidence. Get good at sex, study female anatomy and pleasure if he's not intuitive. Screen for sexual attraction and fun first in a partner, then loyalty, then shared goals, in that order. Never marry anyone who doesn't have all 4.

ChadoftheGymbro · 2025-04-21T18:01:59+00:00

Work on being more attractive and remember it's all a numbers game. Don't get hung up on one Stacey when they're hundreds of them.

HammieFondler · 2025-04-19T19:42:55+00:00

You're asking two different questions here. Your title is asking "how can a guy who lacks sex appeal find a girl who likes him for who he is as opposed to what resources he can provide her." Whereas the body of your post is asking "how can a 5 bag a 7+".

To answer the second question, who gives a shit, don't be so shallow. To answer the first, my best guess would be to look for signals that she's genuinely attracted to you that are costly and/or hard to fake. If anyone has a better answer than that I'd love to know because I worry about that myself.

grown_folks_talkin · 2025-04-19T20:23:27+00:00

Peak physical shape... Well peak is extreme, no need to go full bodybuilder but if you're on the right path it will be apparent sooner rather than later.

Increase risk-taking behavior. Work with whatever risks come naturally from public speaking to extreme sports to weird spiritual or religious beliefs to drug dealing. Willingness to stand out in any fashion will attract some hot women.

Sudden visceral changes in wardrobe that aren't extremely distasteful.

ViolentShallot · 2025-04-19T22:40:35+00:00

I'll bite.

1- Looks, confidence, charisma, assertiveness, competence, in that order.

2- Make a list of sexual "disrespectful" things you'd never say, in order of disrespect, from 1 to 10. One can sound like "Did you know you're fucking hot", number two could be "Your boobs are amazing", ten could be "I fully intend to shove your face against a pillow as I fuck you from behind as hard as I humanly can".

Then see how high in that list you can go in a first date without getting a sincerely negative reaction.

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-04-21T17:03:56+00:00

If he wants to screen then it's like anything else when you have a concern with someones motivations.

Peoples actions give them away.

If someone only lights up at the prospect of enjoying a certain thing , or brings it up a lot, it's their main concern.

Just needs to make himself the main event and see who wants to be there.

Who wants to go on a walk with me or have a booty call vs who only wants to hang out when we're taking the boat out.

As far as bringing out the vibes.... Honestly, it comes with two things....lots of dating ( and sometimes just a heartbreak) , and competition or competence. One to get rid of oneitis , one to exude confidence.

Ladies going for beta want full control or they aren't interested. So no doormatting, no matter how much he likes that one.

lord-moo · 2025-04-19T19:57:13+00:00

depends what he is willing to do and if he has access to those options.

in terms of LMS

he can try to get famous or he can try to be better looking.

or both.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-04-20T02:44:33+00:00

If he got money he might have to flash the cash if he really got no looks to work with. If he dont got money then i guess he has to pretend like it to make them think he does.

Kinda unfortunate that men cant just tap into that automatically but its difficult if you were raised a certain way and wasnt taught how to be a player because it didnt come naturally.

I guess if you know some players you can tap into what they do and try your best to replicate.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-20T04:54:33+00:00

Normally, he should primarily adapt by aiming at girls who can have sufficient desire for him. AWALT is a warning, not something to take overly literally.

But if he wants to date Stacey Jr. he will have to up his perceived mate value somehow. We all know the obvious ways to do this. There's no secret cheat code for 99.99999% of us. As to what to prioritize to be most efficient, that is very contextual. Some guys can really move the needle on charm and charisma, overcoming a lot of deficits. But you gotta be especially gifted to do that. For most guys, you wont have gifts so strong you can endrun women's threshold system. So that means the critical quality holding you back is the one (or ones) that don't meet Stacy Jr.'s minimum threshold, so, if possible, attack those first. If it's height, well, difficulty mode increased. What you gonna do?

wtknight · 2025-04-19T21:43:38+00:00

A guy needs a combination of looks plus “alpha skills” to be an alpha. He’s going to need to develop these before he even tries to start acting like an alpha. He’s still going to be very far behind the guys who have been acting like alphas since their early teens.

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Zaichick · 2025-04-19T19:56:07+00:00

As a young man I played lots of rugby.

Rugby is a neat sport because you can go anywhere on the planet with your boots and willing to play. Show up on the doorstep of a clubhouse and they will help you find a place to live and a job for the season.

It’s a wonderful sporting culture.

But when foreigners showed up at OUR clubhouse, we noticed something.

The local girls heard that accent and immediately tucked their ankles behind their ears.

Didn’t matter if it was Irish, French, Kiwi or Ozzie. The foreign accent gave those lads a FULL TWO POINT LIFT!!! Maybe three.

So when I found myself post-divorce in the local dating market, it was a dumpster fire of gaslighting, ghosting, catfishing and infidelity. It was so bad it became funny and I got red-pilled hard and fast.

So I did the only rational thing and went overseas to Eastern Europe.

I’m now happily married 10 years to a straight up dime. And she’s 10 years younger than me. I’m a solid six.

So the dating advice I offer is this: Get out of the sick and painful experience of dating in the western market. Go to Russia, Moldova, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Vietnam, etc etc.

Those girls will find you exotic and interesting in ways the locals girls never will. And you get an extra point for being from a wealthy country.

And those girls treat their men waaaayyy better than you can even imagine. You’ve got to experience it first hand to understand.

There is one catch: over there you are playing for keeps. It’s not a dating market where everyone is fucking everyone else like a merry-go-round. If you’re fucking prior to marriage, the expectation is that you will soon be married.

But it’s worth it.

If you want a beautiful, feminine, chaste, kind and loyal girl, that’s got to be your best option.

And she’s never even heard the term beta bux. All the poison happening in western culture isn’t even in the vocabulary in those places.

nonquitt · 2025-04-19T20:24:09+00:00

Prob depends what you mean by Stacey

No-Ground604 · 2025-04-19T23:35:11+00:00

i’m really struggling to understand the question here… i wish these terms were defined lol, literally what do you mean by things like “stacy jr” ?

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-04-20T04:44:44+00:00

The first thing you must understand in not being a beta bux is that you must never settle under any circumstances. Men settling is what creates beta bucks.

The second thing you must do is to become the very best version of yourself by self improving in every area possible( looks, status, money, social skills). The reason you need to continually improve is that you need the ability to attract your ideal partner easily.

Lastly, you must be able to read women and differentiate between a woman who doesn't have genuine desire for you and those that do. Learn about what genuine burning desire looks like and how a relationship with a woman who has genuine burning desire for you operates.

BrianMcTill · 2025-04-19T19:32:14+00:00

Don't speak this "language" but I assume this means ugly men targeting way above league attractive women. I am a 40yo ugly virgin guy only interested in women way above my league. And I just answered the question :D.

Every_Pirate_7471 · 2025-04-19T19:24:32+00:00

Not happening chief is generally what I would tell him. Mediocre people get stuck with mediocre relationships.

mobjack · 2025-04-19T20:12:43+00:00

Ignore all the talk about beta bux. It causes more insecurity.

If he is a stable successful guy, he probably just needs a few tweaks to become more successful with women who are looking for a long term relationship.

Peter_Andre_IQ · 2025-04-19T19:26:46+00:00

Quite often lower class 'Stacies' hang out with average chumps, so advice is to somehow shine among this mass of mediocrity. Typical middle/upper-middle class Stacies rarely(if ever) go below their level - no advice as this is pipe dream for majority of these guys.

just_a_place · 2025-04-20T05:47:04+00:00

The best dating advice I give to any dude is to drop this cringe ass incel-lingo that pretends to be Red Pilled and just act like you got some sense. If you exude "beta" vibes then just STOP exuding said vibes. You obviously already know what they are, so just stop it. Problem solved. You're welcome.

And sorry that there's no formula in which you can just act a certain way or do a certain trick to try a certain hack that is going to somehow magically do all the legwork for you. You already know what you need to do, what's missing is the effort, and you're really just asking us of there is a way to get the gains without the effort and the answer is no.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-04-19T19:29:54+00:00

My advice would be “beta bux” is better than being unable to partner at all your whole life, that’s just how it is to be male not all of us can be liked for who we are.

Physical-Curve6141 · 2025-04-20T20:16:35+00:00

I’d advise him to use his money on legal escorts. Any “intimacy” a woman graciously bestows upon him will be tainted by her own cynical, world-weary attitude about men.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-04-19T19:59:02+00:00

You're either Alpha or you're not it's like your star sighn you can't change it everyone knows the Alpha when he walks into a room now their can be multiple Alphas and they will bump heads like to ramming sheep.

I've had women call me an Alpha a girl told me she wants an "Alpha guy like me" I really don't consider myself Alpha I'm just me but other people seem to notice when I walk in a room all eyes are on me. I get challenged by certain kinds of guys all the time. Generally guys that give off alpha vibes but are really just insecure and jealous most of the times these are short guys that try to overcompensate by working out all day long they will never be seen as Alpha because they are to short but they try.

My advice is If a guy is a beta, just embrace it he needs to find his niche and have boundaries. I don't believe in dating or marriage my advice is don't do it, don't get a woman pregnant and don't move a woman in,don't believe women and don't fall in love. These are the biggest mistakes men make

As far as being a beta bux all men pay just don't over pay and get finnesed have boundaries but if your not making minimum 100k females shouldn't even be a concern if you're out here trying to date making 40-50k a year driving a Kia you will get tore up in these streets

Life-Income2986 · 2025-04-19T20:43:57+00:00

1 step: Spend between 20 and 40 hours a week around the type of people he wants to date on top of an IRL full time job.

That's it. Sounds simple except zero percent of the weird losers who could take advantage of this will, because they are still at the 'can't somebody else do all the the uncomfortable and hard bits for me??' stage. Because they are children (mentally).

Ace2Face · 2025-04-19T22:10:03+00:00

What the hell is wrong with "beta bux" anyway? Having a successful career, being able to save and invest is nothing "beta" to me. Maybe you shouldn't chase air-headed ladies that don't value that, because there are plenty that do.

Impossible-Layer-991 · 2025-04-19T19:41:35+00:00

What advice would you offer him? Is it possible for him to tap into “Alpha Fucks™️” vibes? Is there any strategic optimization he can employ?

Yes, but it requires killing the old self. He needs to:

Learn to be the one who encourages all her worst impulses, like leaving school because fuck it, drink like crazy, drive like maniacs, have crazy raunchy sex together, sneak to go smoke some pot, learn to fuel her need to not want to be confined by human/societal rules anymore, be more susceptible to darkness(darker urges/illicit things in life). Be the enabler of every reckless thought she’s ever had. Be the fuel for her wildest impulses, the part of her that craves risk, craves darkness, craves the thrill of skating on the edge of oblivion.

He needs to lean into the Euphoria-coded madness, think Nate Jacobs energy without the daddy issues. Dangerous, magnetic, emotionally unavailable but sexually dialed in like a heat-seeking missile. He has to whisper the type of things that would get him cancelled if screens were recording. He has to be the reason she deletes her therapist’s number.

Not try to be the one who reins her in, but be the one who unleashes her. Become the enabler of every wild, unfiltered thought she's ever buried beneath society’s expectations. The guy who fuels her need to break free from the straightjacket of “good girl” conditioning. Be the one her friends warn her about, the one her mother fears, the one who turns her world black-and-white into a bloody technicolor spiral. And even if it’s doomed to crash and burn, it’ll be the best f**king fire she’s ever danced in.

When she’s with him, it’s not about society, it’s not about what’s “right”, it’s about her and him against the world, burning like a comet that’s destined to crash and burn. Be the guy who whispers in her ear that life’s too short for rules. His point is that he represents this mysterious path, full of fun, risk and potential danger, its a lonely road with only room for her and him, its supposed to be all consuming. Stacey doesn’t want a nice guy who’s available. She wants a man she has to earn, a man who could choose others, but still picks her. That’s where arousal lives.

And until Beta Bob understands that... he’ll keep getting picked for the “emotional healing arc” instead of the origin story. Until Bob figures out how to flip the script from "reliable partner" to "ride-or-die chaos co-conspirator," he’ll never make it past her comfort zone. He’ll stay in the category of emotional tampon, the one she trauma dumps on before going back to the man who makes her feel something. So yes, Bob can change. But first, he has to bury Beta.

Let the ritual begin.

SherbertDense1415 · 2025-04-20T02:12:50+00:00

Why does a beta chump deserve to date stacies?

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-04-19T22:55:23+00:00

If you’re a beta guy who doesn’t want to be beta bux then the only solution is to not date and give up on women - you don’t choose whether to be alpha or beta; it’s a status assigned to you, and if you’re in the latter category, then women will only ever view you as a financial resource to be exploited and discarded. So your choice is either to get used or don’t put yourself in the the position where you’ll be used.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-04-19T23:05:12+00:00

Go to the gym and looksmaxx. Learn how to fight and do other masculine activities. Don't pay for any dates or expensive gifts. Don't get married.

Title	Q4M: What dating advice would you give a guy who exudes “beta bux™️” but doesn’t want to be “beta bux™️”?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	8
Comments	174
Date	April 19, 2025 7:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1k33zof/q4m_what_dating_advice_would_you_give_a_guy_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-what-dating-advice-would-you-give-a-guy-who.1550076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550076

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