Men who gave up, why are you still here ?

WebNew9978 · 2025-09-17T21:43:21+00:00

Well talking about relationships and dating is the closest I’ll ever get to going on dates and being in relationships. I’ll always have the desire to have a romantic and sex life. But after years of rejection and never being sexually desired or even noticed by women, I realized that I just don’t got the it factor that women want from men before deciding to date them. So debating and discussing things on here is how my romantic/sex life will go. Do I want that to be the case? Of course not. But the things that hold me back are things that are beyond my control.

Iron-DBZ · 2025-09-17T20:45:12+00:00

People look for catharsis in self-defeating ways.

It's not a surprise to me that men who want more from women would come to a place where the women are even less receptive than they would normally be. This is a very hostile place, and it works well as a tool for killing/poisoning your feelings toward the opposite sex.

Most men are never completely given up, they just understand that their time is limited and that they can only put so much energy into women before it stops making any sense. But they still want it.

So seeking out reminders for why they don't bother online is one way to keep perspective on why they've made certain decisions. Harden the resolve.

PM_ME_YOUR_DONGERZ · 2025-09-17T21:06:16+00:00

Because I hate myself and being here is effectively emotional self harm

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-09-17T22:07:44+00:00

Personally: Just because i gave up on the absurd notion of ever finding a partner and a relationship, doesn't mean that the wish for one went away. It's something that is still on my mind, something that still weighs on me. something that still troubles me. It became a bit rare over time, but it's still there. So i still think about it and still want to talk about it on occassion.

Plus, i just like discussions in general.

ctrl_f_sauce · 2025-09-17T20:53:33+00:00

They know there is something wrong with their sensors, they just can’t imagine what it would look like if they functioned. They’re hoping that it will be fixed.

deletbait · 2025-09-17T21:26:19+00:00

I haven't completely given up. I might ask a girl out occasionally but I largely know that it'll all end the same way. Despite how futile I think my efforts are I am still a man that wants to experience love and intimacy. Not having romantic or sexual intimacy guinually bothers me so I seek to alleviate that. There is something deep inside of me that won't allow me to quit. I suppose it's just the biological urge we all have.

I'm in the sub to debate topics I can't irl and talk about it with people who know the basics that I already know.

gnomeweb · 2025-09-17T23:53:19+00:00

Because men aren't unfeeling robots? Because men need to vent? Because they are hurt? Because they struggle?

Like what do you expect them to do? To disappear?

IgorXY · 2025-09-17T20:41:19+00:00

Same reason people who are married are here: for funsies.

I_Hate_Free_Money · 2025-09-17T21:34:47+00:00

For me its like writing a journal. Some times getting things out is therapeutic.

I didnt give up on women perse, I gave up on society. Im perfectly capable of finding someone. Hell I could dive into a world of hedonism if I wanted to. But I dont. Im not happy with what we have become.

darkesthelp · 2025-09-17T22:21:19+00:00

Pushing awareness. The awareness that how we all act in dating and life has consequences. The worst of each sex ends up standing out and being representative.

And honestly, I'm guessing for a lot of us, it's to push against the just world fallacy and the idea that if you are failing in dating you must be a bad person. So that maybe we can stop stuff like women saying "you're a great guy, you'll find someone" and let men decide based on honesty how they want to approach dating. Getting rid of "that's just my preference, you'll find a match" - when the preference is based on biology, you're acting no different than most of your gender and deciding partners based on animal urges.

My friend had success in dating and found a wife, he had to change from sensitive guy to red pill to do it though.

champion_azure · 2025-09-17T21:16:22+00:00

Do you go onto sports forums and ask the same question of the non-sporting patrons there?

Validation that the circumstance /decision is correct for me.

Some intellectual curiosity, I do occasionally learn something.

darthsyn · 2025-09-18T04:21:08+00:00

Giving up doesn't dispel the frustrations that come along with being rejected by the opposite sex. The need to talk about it remains.

Qu3stion_R3ality1750 · 2025-09-18T00:01:56+00:00

Because it's actually genuinely entertaining to discuss these topics on here...and because, as awful as this sounds, some of the takes that I've heard on this sub make it very obvious why some of you struggle so badly.

BigMadLad · 2025-09-18T02:40:13+00:00

Because I blame the other side, same with women. Both genders suffer from the same issue, which is that almost universally They blame the other side, which means the only way you could improve Your own prospects is attempting to educate the other side, shame the other side, or plead with the other side to try to elicit a change of behavior that may trickle down to me.

What keeps me here is the vain hope that my efforts will actually either change a woman’s mind on something for her to be a better partner for her man, or that if I put good energy out into the world, it’ll somehow eventually come back to me. Also, unfortunately, I had too good of a time in actual relationship to completely swear it off and so I’m stuck here.

Women do this as well, it’s exactly why many women complaining about how all men are trash yet keep coming back to them.

2025-09-17T23:17:09+00:00

I go here to spread the unabashed truth - there are still people who post who don't believe in the blackpill/redpill principles that I firmly believe in.

I believe it's my job to be a counter force against their arguments.

Jimiken96 · 2025-09-18T03:54:45+00:00

When I read that many others are also struggling with romance, it helps me not feel alone. Helps me believe that it might not be a me problem as much as I’ve always thought.

catdog8020 · 2025-09-17T23:18:53+00:00

Good question! Because we are looking for truth and acceptance. I guess most men are waking up to the stages of grief in real time but so many are in denial.

aslfingerspell · 2025-09-18T02:25:55+00:00

I haven't given up entirely, but I've become extremely disillusioned at my chances.

I keep discussing these topics because it's a glimpse into the other side. It shows me I'm not alone. It allows me to talk about otherwise taboo topics. It allows me to get the occasional nugget of wisdom or a original observation.

For example, someone a while ago mentioned that men and women mean different things by "casual sex".

Men, so the comment went, like sex in the abstract. Casual sex means a one night stand with a stranger.

Women, so contrasted, like sex contextually. Casual sex means a hookup with a friend.

DzejSiDi · 2025-09-18T13:09:14+00:00

??????

Men who gave up should have MORE free time to argue over the internet instead of spending that limited time on self-maxxing and pursuing women.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-09-17T22:29:22+00:00

I enjoy the discussion.

happyfunball5 · 2025-09-18T00:26:27+00:00

I'm in a relationship but I never feel truly secure in it and I think I've all but given up on feeling that sense of security. On getting past the idea that I'm just posing as a person who's attractive to anyone. Believing I'm attractive in any sense is like a religious exercise based more on faith than evidence.

This may seem like a really odd place to exercise faith but once in a while a comment resonates and I feel a little hope. Other times I feel wistful. I read something and take a deep breath before a long sigh and I think "damn, I did some of this to myself".

It's too late to change much (I'm old) but the hope that I'll make peace with myself and the wistful longing for another chance are my emotions aligning quite well with my thoughts, and that feels authentic.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-09-18T05:35:14+00:00

Because it was a woman who took the initiative to initiate and I believed - and still do - that it was a good idea to have a relationship with her. Before she came along I had zero intentions of ever dating or ever approaching women. I completely gave it up in high school.

Girls and women in general stress me the fuck out when romantic intentions creep in. I got a lot of female attention in high school and I still to today and while all the incels in here wish they were in my place for a day when you live like this every day of your life it just wears you down. And also, I get to see a side of women that incels can't even imagine. Most women easily back off if a guy has no interest and the majority just kinda stare from a distance and never date to approach or even make themselves known but there are is a non-ignorable amount of women who are toxic and vicious as fuck when they are thirsty.

Isn't it better to focus on other things instead of putting your energy into what you believe is unachievable?

That would be called Men Going Their Own Way which is taboo round these parts. The guys who have actually given up on women are not online chatting about it, they are the statistic everyone always talks about and tries to shame and mislabel as "Loneliness Epidemic" when in reality it's just MGTOW all along. It never went away, it just got bigger and has blended into the background.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-09-18T18:08:57+00:00

Hopefully to warn other men. And I like to see the delusional comments from both sides. It's entertaining. The only good thing I've ever gotten out of a woman is my children.

EducationPatient4622 · 2025-09-17T20:48:19+00:00

Because most people are suprisingly OBLIVIOUS. Its worth discussing the matter because they never saw it like you experience it necessarily.

Centuries of simping made it seem normal. Wake the hell up.

Jon_Boopin · 2025-09-17T20:55:04+00:00

I've given up on women learning to be better people, I've not given up the endless grind to optimize my looks in order to pump and dump them. Staying on this sub helps (albeit casually/non-scientifically) inform me of womens' gender psychology so I can stay as up-to-date as possible with modern trends and manipulate them to my advantage.

I have not and never will give up on men who are beaten down by the world and have nobody to turn toward for support and guidance.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2025-09-17T20:47:15+00:00

Venting is the only thing I have. Besides food that is.

No_Self_2165 · 2025-09-17T23:28:09+00:00

I am just browsing a few minutes and few hours at most a day. That said I am not actually here.

For your question, you cannot just focus on other things, romance is a fundamental human need and one way or another it will manifest itself and haunt you. Personally I use this place to engage in discussions I don’t normally talk about (or if I talk about, only talking with normie perspective) in real life.

NotMuchLonger765 · 2025-09-18T04:42:28+00:00

What else is there to do? I take the pills the therapist says to take and still have no motivation. None of this matters.

YeaNobody · 2025-09-18T04:54:50+00:00

Just cuz lol

Throw_r_a_2021 · 2025-09-18T11:45:53+00:00

It’s a debate sub, not a dating sub. I post here to dunk on people’s logical fallacies, not to get laid. You really think I’d talk about female hypergamy and evolutionary psychology on a first date where I was trying to hit it?

Alternative_Cod2280 · 2025-09-19T09:09:41+00:00

To mock and call out the lies, the hypocrisy and false advices, you normalshits can't stop themselves to say.

We could question why most people are here too, when all they do is either lecture (read shit on) the people(mostly men) they deem inferior or brag about how good they have it.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-09-18T19:50:54+00:00

Some guys might just like discussing different topics on what they know or would like to. So its not the worst place to be because it could help them in some way.

StopTheIncels · 2025-09-17T21:02:21+00:00

Not to say I've given up completely. However, this is kind of one of the very few places (hopefully still even with reddit and the shit mods - I know some of them personally; censor a lot) you can say 'out loud' non-PC opinions without social ostracization.

I love dunking on regards, oops wrong sub. I remember when a blue piller didn't know what a put was when he said relationships weren't like investing in stocks (they actually are quite similar but that's a different discussion). He's a dumbass but I digress.

Honestly, I'm just bored at work with a lot of down time. Not my problem they make me come in so I can pretend to do work or attend asinine meetings.

Logos1789 · 2025-09-18T05:27:08+00:00

Other men deserve to be told the truth sooner. The world doesn’t deserve the hard studying and work of men who won’t be rewarded by women for it.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-09-18T09:47:32+00:00

I enjoy the conversations on a variety of topics

DelDivision · 2025-09-19T10:05:38+00:00

Tho im not one who has given up, im here cause this "war" reminds me the war on the homeless, minorities, any group at the bottom. Its funny how connected the arguments people have, rather the homeless are just lazy, or how all struggling dudes are misogynistic and lazy, not ugly cause they all know that one short ugly broke man who slays 24/7 or that minorities are stupid, violent and lazy.

Which makes it funnier when you see people who belong to these groups do it to each other like how can yall not see that lol. It makes laugh but it also makes me think humanity overall is the problem and maybe its time for a new species to try and make the world a better place.

SexCrispies · 2025-09-20T07:38:13+00:00

I think they have given up on getting what they want out of their own abilities and power. But they haven't giving up on changing their situation by complaining and changing society by pointing out double standards, moral flaws and inconsistencies. Also, when you are a fringe outsider with a fringe view and fringe problems, it helps to have a community of similar people where you can rant about your frustrations together and get support in your fringe views.

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Title	Men who gave up, why are you still here ?
Author	That-Nerve8213
Upvotes	59
Comments	132
Date	September 17, 2025 7:55 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1njnhgt/men_who_gave_up_why_are_you_still_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-who-gave-up-why-are-you-still-here.1562217 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562217

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