The narrative that small age gaps (like 18 & 24) are "predatory" is a recent moral panic based on flawed arguments.

Flying_Fortress_8743 · 2025-11-22T16:53:53+00:00

I think relationships between people of different ages have so many variables it's almost impossible to say for certain that this age gap is always fine and that age gap is always bad. Ages of consent are a best-guess compromise. There will be some people above and below any arbitrary age who are or are not mature enough to be in a relationship. However, statistically, the odds increase as the gap widens, especially when one person is on the lower end.

I think we should reframe the age gap arguments from "this is ALWAYS bad" to "the likelihood of this turning bad is so high people should avoid it". That's where the moral component comes in. Older people should make a general rule to not date much younger people, especially those under age 20ish - not an ironclad, inflexible rule, but a general default.

And I think we should use more data. If it's a true moral panic, then data will show that there aren't really any elevated risks of abuse or psychological harm from age gap relationships.

AlternativeRace2938 · 2025-11-23T02:51:37+00:00

Well men’s bodies over 25 are pretty gross. Especially elderly men over 40. So I get it

ta06012022 · 2025-11-22T16:22:13+00:00

"They date 18, so they'd date 17 if they could!" This is the ultimate bad-faith, 'slippery slope' argument. It deliberately ignores the single most important line in society: legality.

This isn't true. In the US, the legal threshold is 16 years old in 30 states and 17 years old in another 7 states. There are some restrictions up until 18 in some of those states if the older person is in a position of authority (e.g., teacher, foster parent), but that's not what's being discussed here. States where the legal threshold is 18 are the exception.

That's because there's no real threshold for adulthood in the US. It's phased. You're old enough to drive and have sex at 16 in most states. You're old enough to vote at 18 (previously 21). You're old enough to drink and smoke at 21 (previously 18). There's no bright line in the US on when someone is old enough to make all their own decisions.

So if legality is the most important line for you, why wouldn't you date a 16 year old if it's legal in your state? It's just as legal as dating an 18 year old in most states.

aslfingerspell · 2025-11-22T16:39:44+00:00

Many of those studies simply stopped tracking development at age 25; they didn't claim it was a magic finish line

Is there a name for this fallacy, of mistaking a study parameter for the dependent variable?

I remember hearing a viral statistic about the risk of domestic violence perpetrators murdering their victims after they break up. Every website, brochure, and organization cited some years-long period.

I track it down and find the study, and indeed some people are hurt years later, but that's not what the study set out to do. It simply took a period of time and looked at what happened during it. It didn't set out to specifically measure the length of time the danger lasts.

vadkender · 2025-11-22T15:27:31+00:00

It's not about who the 18 year old chooses to date, it's about who chooses to date the 18 year old. I don't care how "mature" and "adult" an 18 year old thinks they are, they are probably nowhere near being a full adult simply because lack of experience. I have never heard a person say "yeah, I was the same level of mature at 18 as I am now", they always say they basically only grew up around 23-25.

So those people who are over 24 and choose to date 18 year olds KNOW the difference in maturity and choose to do it, and that's fucking creepy. And I WILL judge them.

G0_0NIE · 2025-11-22T17:36:40+00:00

Yeah I gotta disagree with point 7. Complain about the usage of personal experience but everyone I've known who only dated woman SIGNIFICANTLY younger than them, did so for a reason.

I don't really care for age gaps once both parties are ~21+ but don't get mad when you get sideeyed by the general public.

DeskHead4035 · 2025-11-22T15:23:41+00:00

From 18 to 24 nearly everything was different about myself from interests, friends, partners, political beliefs, religious attitudes etc

I don’t think the relationship is predatory, but I do judge 24 year olds, especially the men, who either haven’t done much maturing in 6 years or think it’s a non sequitur. When I was 24 I was two years into a corporate career so not such what I’d have in common with a senior in high school.

I am a Christian, but there’s also billions of Christians on earth. That is a poor marker of compatibility in a relationship. Same with liking the same hobbies.

HauntingPositive8058 · 2025-11-23T18:02:09+00:00

i don’t live in the US but the law here is 14 with 14/15/16. high school kids. 18 is anything goes but kids don’t graduate high school until 18 or 19 and are involved in high school stuff. a 25-yr-old is absolutely thought of as a creep dating a high school, pre-college kid.

kids also live with their parents until they go away to college or finish their trade school.. could be 21 or 22 or older.

a 25-year-old dating an 18-year-old is simply trashy. it’s normal to be in relationships with people your own age.. and 18 and 25 are very different in life experience.

I think that’s what you’re missing. sure, it’s legal. but is it healthy for the 18 year old? god when I was 18 I found 17-19 attractive. you’re developing every year of your life and being 18 it’s very common to still be in high school. it’s nothing like being 24 and 29.. you’re one toe into adulthood and men in their 20’s need to back off and find a girlfriend their own age. It’s simply the age.. you are JUST out of high school.

I found 21+ kinda creepy when I was 18. it’s a special age and doesn’t apply to your 20’s and 30’s and definitely not older. It’s an exception when it comes to age gaps. that’s why it’s a debate.

Grow up, seriously.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-11-22T16:13:34+00:00

Because you're looking at the raw age gap instead of considering what people those ages are like. 24 vs 18 is "high school senior dating their teacher" age gap.

But here's the bigger question: why do you need everyone to sign off on it? You can go date all the teenagers you want and as long as it's not outside the law, there's nothing anyone can do. Why do you need our approval so badly?

anewleaf1234 · 2025-11-22T22:45:46+00:00

18 to 24 isn't a small age gap.

You can call it that all you wish, but that doesn't make it true.

It is creepy as fuck and is a major red flag that a man can't handle someone his equal, so he has to find someone who might be more dependant.

You can try to re-brand that all you wish, but you are going to fail.

If I knew a dude in their mid 20's dating an 18 year old that would red flag after red flag after red flag.

Kroiike · 2025-11-22T15:28:52+00:00

I have no idea why women who argue this don't just argue for the age of consent to be raised to 25. Like, if it's so innately predatory and harmful, there's really no reason it shouldn't just be 25 (Romeo and Juliet laws included, obviously). You don't have to raise the age of consent for anything else, just make the dating and sex one 25.

SnooCats37 · 2025-11-22T16:57:54+00:00

I will always judge a man or a woman who goes for an 18 year old because you know they would go younger if there wasn’t a law against it

harmonica2 · 2025-11-22T16:54:57+00:00

People are going to date who they want is its legal, and the only way the age of consent is going to be raised is if people protest for legislative change.

reddit_is_geh · 2025-11-22T15:57:08+00:00

I don't think most people give a shit about that age gap... honestly. It's just online rage bait.

Often people fight for a position that they KNOW is not popular, entirely to drive up engagement. It's like that saying, if you want the answer online, give the wrong answer and someone will correct you.

ThatBitchA · 2025-11-22T18:35:30+00:00

Honestly, it seems like y'all know that age gaps are creepy and then act all shocked when someone judges an age gap.

If you want to be 24 and dating 18 yo, have fun. Knock yourself out.

People are going to judge you. Get over it. 🤷

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-11-22T17:05:31+00:00

You chose the wrong starting age. 18 year olds, as others have mentioned, could still be in high school and have little to no college or work or other "adult" experience. Even a 19 year old could still be a senior in high school. I'd say your specific example could work if both the 18 and 24 year old were in the same college or workplace for at least a few months to a year (making the 18yo closer to 19) and had spent that time getting to know each other, but two strangers who met online would more likely have only attraction in common and not their interests or understanding of each other.

However, In regards to the maturity argument, I'd say people in their 20s and up are fair game for anyone. People definitely become more mature as they get older, but that's relative to themselves, and the rate of increase in maturity could be very rapid or virtually nonexistent. Everyone has a different starting point, and people learn more from experiences, and much less from merely existing in isolation.

I have absolutely seen women in their 20s be manipulated by men the same age as them. I have even seen women in their 30s manipulated by men 10 years younger than them. If age meant maturity then women in their 40s, 50s and 60s would never fall for romance scams. So the idea that being the same age means that two people are equally mature is nonsense.

In response to your points:

I think 18 is definitely too young for most adult decisions. I'd say the age of majority should definitely be raised to 20 years old. In a lot of jurisdictions the age to purchase alcohol is actually 21 or even as high as 25.
My argument would be the same as above. Regardless of legality, teenagers still have significant maturing to do.
I agree here. People can be any age and quite stupid/immature/manipulable, age isn't a guarantee of maturity.
Agree. This assumes that men and women get together because they have so many common interests. I'd argue that having a shared lifestyle is a goal that you would need to have in common, but having the same interests has nothing to do with compatibility. As you mentioned, you can find two people of the same age that have nothing in common, and the gap only increases the older you get.
Agree.
Agree, power imbalances can exist in any age pairings. In fact, the younger person is often interested in the older one specifically because of the power imbalance.
Actually, men typically date younger because women their own age are not interested in them, often because of the lack of power imbalance. And when you get into your 30s, if the woman wants kids, she's almost always trying to rush into a relationship at a pace that is uncomfortable for a man. In their 30s, women also come with higher expectations, while offering either the same or even less value in a relationship with a man. This drives away even those men who would otherwise be interested in an egalitarian relationship.
Yep, slippery slope argument. Also women don't magically change in appearance on their 18th birthday. Some have looked like adults for years, some will continue to look like children for years (if not decades).
Yeah this is just illogical whining.

People pushing this argument are as usual Schrodinger's feminists. Women are simultaneously independent and empowered to have sex with whomever they like however they like, while also having no agency and being helpless victims. Sorry, you gotta pick one.

Keep_calm_or_else · 2025-11-22T16:07:40+00:00

18 year old is still highschool and a 24 year old could already have a college degree and a career. There's a power imbalance there. Think back to how immature and naive you were at 18 vs. 24.

GKilat · 2025-11-22T17:49:29+00:00

My guess with this phenomenon is the simple fact that younger generation are growing up slower in the mental and emotional department. That is, most people at 18 still thinks like a child because society is comfortable enough for them not to move out of their immature phase. In the past, life was hard and children have to grow up quickly especially their mental and emotional state and deal with adult things quickly. I would dare say people at 18 is more mentally and emotionally mature hundreds of years ago than the average 30 year old now.

So I would say there is some truth behind the complaint about the age gap but it is a symptom that the maturity rate of younger generation are slowing down because of society and the fact most children today are surrounded by technology and immersing them into fantasy world that they refuse to leave and grow up. This is what contributes to immaturity of young adults that adult things like romantic relationship at 18 is now considered too young. We might as well increase the age of consent at this point because quite a lot of young adults have not yet matured mentally since their teenage years.

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Gilmoregirlin · 2025-11-23T23:11:31+00:00

Everytime this comes up I remember that we had to pass laws so men would not date/marry underage women. An age gap of four or five years is no big deal as you get older, but that’s different than an age gap between an 18 year old and a 24 year old. It’s not like you suddenly become mature at 18, heck you are not even allowed to drink yet. Are there some women that are mature, yea sure maybe, but that’s in the minority. And most women remember creepy old men hitting on us, and it’s gross. Seriously if you ask most women what age adult men started hitting on her you will understand, we were children.

the_jingster · 2025-11-25T23:00:29+00:00

The biggest one is that the women easiest to take advantage of, have two things in common: low cognitive ability, and lack of options. Older women with low IQ are the easiest to take advantage of.

chainsobig · 2025-11-27T09:15:09+00:00

Listen, man. I'll be honest. 18 year old girls are not grown ass people.

I'm 28 now and 18-21 year olds seem like literal children to me. It's not pedophilia, but I don't get people who date in that age bracket once they've aged out of it.

Spiral_Galaxy_XOXO · 2025-11-27T22:49:35+00:00

18 and 24 is predatory. when i was 24 an 18 year old looked like a baby to me. i was 2 years out of COLLEGE. they are about to graduate HIGH SCHOOL. it's absolutely pathetic.

a 28 year old and a 34 year old is OK because the 28 year old has had a good amount of adult life experience. i mean, listen, you totally get why it's gross, you just don't care so is it even worth debating?

DreamsCanBeRealToo · 2025-11-22T15:30:07+00:00

Be prepared to be slandered and have your reputation attacked in the comments. It’s the last defense for these people without real counter-arguments.

Lyesmite · 2025-11-22T18:45:18+00:00

I think it's only Anglo-Sphere countries that have a problem with age gaps in relationships, but the rest of the world still considers it normal. The culture war (feminism) has played a big part in making it taboo.

Power imbalance is everywhere not just in relationships and women have a choice to say no

dogbusinessman · 2025-11-22T16:26:02+00:00

Most of these people making these age gap statements are bitter women way past their prime that don't get any attention from men of similar age, so they have to create a cognitive bias to stay in denial about how their attraction is gone.

Zhezersheher · 2025-11-23T01:46:31+00:00

18 years old is legally an adult. 18 year olds act like children because this is what they’ve been exposed to for more than a decade being in school. People will always have something to say about everything and will always condemn anything that doesn’t align with themselves. This is okay. The age of consent is 18 so people can say what they want about age gaps or whatever, but is what it is. Men were getting sent to war when they were 18, women can choose who they want at the age of 18. All these bullshit ass comments about them being children is dumb as fuck.

I have to add that if the situation was a 18 year old man and a 25 year old woman, nobody would say shit.

ANIKAHirsch · 2025-11-23T11:22:07+00:00

I'm suprised to see so many people disagreeing with you in the comments. This moral outrage is a very recent trend on the internet, and seems to be more prevalent amongst the younger generation. I think you are 100% right, and it is completely infantilizing to the younger person in the relationship (usually the woman, I might add). I do not condone the infantilization of women, or removing women's autonomy in any situation. Nor do I condone it for men, but I do not want to ignore the gendered aspect of this issue, either.

Prestigious-Delay759 · 2025-11-23T16:07:48+00:00

Yeah it's bizarre.

When you meet older couples 10 to 11-year age gaps are common, and it's about 50/50 as far as which partner is older.

None of them are pedos. Almost all of them are something akin to a 30-year-old dating a 20-year-old, or even more common s*** like a 50-year-old dating, a 40-year-old or a 60-year-old dating a 50-year-old and so on and so forth.

Lastly, the whole idea that you can f****** groom an adult is insanely demeaning and infantilizing. It also trivializes the actual victims of real child molestation.

Ignisyourface · 2025-11-22T18:09:08+00:00

I love age gaps. Older men are usually way more giving to make up for their age

The narrative that small age gaps (like 18 & 24) are "predatory" is a recent moral panic based on flawed arguments.

Comments

IT'S NOT DIFFICULT TO SAY NO TO DATING 18 YEAR OLD AS A 25 YEAR OLD.

Title	The narrative that small age gaps (like 18 & 24) are "predatory" is a recent moral panic based on flawed arguments.
Author	ImsoKeewl777
Upvotes	110
Comments	363
Date	November 22, 2025 3:17 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1p3vpfm/the_narrative_that_small_age_gaps_like_18_24_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-narrative-that-small-age-gaps-like-18-24-are.1567133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567133