Men are not capable of romantic love.

Meekzzy · 2026-04-22T22:02:53+00:00

Nah, I catch feelings in 5 minutes and start imagining an entire life together. Cap.

GeckoKisser · 2026-04-22T22:08:37+00:00

Wow, that sure is crazy because I'm a male and romantic love is like my biggest fantasy.

Plus, I mean shit, I basically keyboard crusade against casual sex, temporary/materially transactional relationships, and pretty much all of the things you claim were only attracted to.

This Sub honestly disappoints me sometimes. The arguements are so bad, dude. All anecdotes that only need other anecdotes to be immediately disproven.

Sorryimjustsaying · 2026-04-22T22:08:31+00:00

The way some men in this sub are so reductive about both themselves and other men is honestly really sad.

To hear some of you talk like men have no inner world outside of their biological drives makes me hope its just for the sake of arguing here, and not something you actually feel about yourself.

PerformativeRacist · 2026-04-22T22:07:56+00:00

This post sounds like you're describing yourself, rather than men as a whole

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-23T05:33:52+00:00

That argument acts like male pursuit proves some hidden lack of sincerity, when in reality men pursue because they usually have to if they want anything to happen in dating at all. Men are expected to approach, initiate, escalate, plan, and carry the interaction. So treating pursuit like proof of manipulation ignores the basic structure of dating.

The “women want romance” part is also way too flattering to women and way too cynical toward men. If women loved romance in this pure, selfless way, then more of the work would be coming from them. Instead, most of the romance burden gets left to men. Men are the ones expected to chase, impress, plan, reassure, spend, and perform. So it makes no sense to act like women are the noble romantics while men are just running a sex scam, when women are often the ones benefiting from men doing most of the labor that keeps dating moving.

Sex obviously matters a lot to men. Nobody serious denies that. The problem is pretending that this cancels out bonding, care, loyalty, attachment, or genuine affection. Men can want sex and still want connection. Those are not mutually exclusive. Acting like everything romantic men do is fake just because sex is part of the equation is lazy and one-dimensional.

So no, this is not some deep truth. It is just reducing men to libido while giving women the most flattering interpretation possible. That is not honesty. That is a caricature.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-22T22:09:11+00:00

Translation. I’m a man. I’ve never been in love. I don’t like women. Other men must also feel and think like I do.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-04-22T22:59:07+00:00

Eh, I believe this is how a lot of men are to varying degrees. But it’s on a spectrum like everything else (sexual orientation, sociosexual orientation, gender expression, etc.). Men and women are different, but also the same species. And different people have different levels of propensity toward romantic love and attachment to a partner. For instance, there are asexual men who still want a romantic partner.

There is also a social component — women have been socialized to believe in and seek an ideal of romantic love more than men have (although both have experienced this). In other words, there is not some magical “romantic love gene” that all women possess that all men don’t. Socialization also affects how men tend to view women as intellectually inferior sexual objects. (This whole topic is really more complex than can be covered in a Reddit comment.)

Jetpine9 · 2026-04-22T22:11:48+00:00

Women are the ones who want romance

Guys want romance too. I doubt your stated maleness if you can't believe men don't have crushes, fall in love, etc. That degree of "othering" isn't from in the house.

. But men aren’t satisfied in relationships without sex.

Um, yeah? Women also.

Men prioritize physical touch over all other love languages because it signals the potential for sex.

That is an interesting point. I have been saying that men need that level of interaction to believe that the relationship is real. But that's not entirely satisfactory.

Men don’t “fall for” women unless they’re sexually attractive to him.

Again, yeah? I think it's the same with the sweet ladies.

But men, let’s be honest, it’s bullshit and always has been.

Again, no. The added sex chemicals men have vastly complicates matters, but it doesn't negate the fact that men fall in and out of love much the same as women do.

Zabadoodude · 2026-04-23T03:40:07+00:00

There's an easy way to test this hypothesis: look what men with unlimited access to casual sex do. Celebrities and very handsome men don't need to partner up to get sex. They do engage in casual sex more, especially at first, but most still want to settle down in a relationship with one women eventually, because they catch romantic feelings too.

veloron2008 · 2026-04-22T22:34:29+00:00

I believed in the ideal of romantic love as a young man.

As an older man married 30 years to a fantastic wife, I believe I am living it.

It's sad that so many have become so jaded.

Neglius · 2026-04-22T22:15:39+00:00

You realize men on the ace spectrum exist, right? Granted they’re obviously not the majority, but your entire post was worded from an absolute objective perspective.

Staff_Memeber · 2026-04-22T23:49:52+00:00

As always with these types of gendered screeds, true romantic love is only defined by its exclusion of the gender the manifesto is directed at, and nothing else. "Women aren't romantic they only want attention/to receive romance passively!" "Grrr well men aren't romantic because they only do it to get sex!". How can we have an honest discussion if you don't even know what you're talking about? Literally as soon as you define the feelings that comprise "romantic love" the entire argument falls apart because there's no definition that serves your point other than "some otherwise undefined thing that men don't feel".

It's entirely plausible that men feel these feelings as much as they feel a desire for sex. The majority of men don't cheat on their partners, they often display some kind of post-hoc romantic affection towards the women they claim to only want for sex(this is why situationships are often so confusing for women), and they short circuit when they encounter a woman who is actually only using them for sex. Their primary motivations for sex also go far beyond ejaculation itself, it's basically the only form of valid gender affirmation for straight men that exists now. However, this doesn't diametrically oppose them to romance, unless you believe romantic love is entirely asexual in nature.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-04-22T22:04:57+00:00

Maybe YOU aren’t capable of romantic love. Have you ever considered that?

Superannuated_punk · 2026-04-22T22:10:19+00:00

Speak for yourself champ.

I’ve been with my missus for 25 years. The world is lousy with pretty women, but she’s the only gal for me.

idkidkahahidkidk69 · 2026-04-22T22:04:31+00:00

I think you're alone on this one

Combatenjoyer23 · 2026-04-22T22:04:48+00:00

You sound like you're probably under the age of 20

Training-Cook3507 · 2026-04-22T22:30:54+00:00

Depends on how you define romance, but this is definitely not true. I still dream about a crush from 20 years ago, and it's rarely about sex. I agree, in general, men have a much higher sexual appetite. Something women don't realize and don't want to believe, but saying men are not capable of romantic love is ridiculous.

RedditorsAreCorny · 2026-04-23T00:14:18+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever read something that’s disgusted me more in my entire life. This couldn’t be more wrong, it’s entirely switched. I genuinely hate you.

HTML_Novice · 2026-04-22T22:13:06+00:00

Jarvis, take the amount of art, songs, poems and self sacrificial events men made towards women, and compare it to the amount women have made towards men.

LexEntityOfExistence · 2026-04-22T22:56:39+00:00

Nah. I specifically avoid short term relationships, and I imagine raising a family on day one.

BigMadLad · 2026-04-23T00:27:33+00:00

My multi-year abstinence because I’m still in love with my ex proves you wrong sir

aloneeeeexx · 2026-04-22T22:13:49+00:00

Look even as a feminist I have to disagree with this one broski 😭

Men are humans just like women and we’re all capable of romantic love (:

bluestjuice · 2026-04-22T22:20:08+00:00

Ah my guy. The evidence is against you on this one.

But if you're aromantic or on that spectrum, take heart! Y'all have a really cool flag.

Different-Deal-7554 · 2026-04-22T22:18:52+00:00

Sounds like projection

Necessary-Ad2110 · 2026-04-23T00:14:55+00:00

Weird way to project buddy

Melodic_Explorer8 · 2026-04-22T22:23:13+00:00

Are you saying that because it’s how you operate? While MANY, many men do operate like that, plenty don’t.

Tylikcat · 2026-04-22T22:50:54+00:00

I've seen quite a few guys here arguing that *only* men have romantic feelings*. And goodness knows I've had enough men fall for me.

*Not my experience - I may fall for people fairly infrequently, but I fall hard when it happens.

VetLady_Meowdy_6969 · 2026-04-22T22:56:59+00:00

Demisex widow lady here. I kinda disagree.

Yes, men are more sexual in their nature, but that doesn't make them incapable of romance. It just means that sexual connection leads to romance, not the other way around.

That can lead to purely sexual-based relationships, but that's a risk you face by dating anyone who isn't ace.

I also disagree that a relationship is a relationship without sex, especially constant/planned sex. Unless you're ace or there are other unusual factors.

A relationship without sex and drive is just a close friendship; and anyone can prioritize whatever love language they want if it's what matters to them.

The actual issue that makes constant lust become an issue is men's lack of understanding female hormonal biology and arousal, and how to awaken it - without forcing it. Along with some women purely basing sex flow in the relationship solely on their disposition, rather then an exchange between understanding and sacrifice.

toad-wrangler · 2026-04-22T23:28:37+00:00

I think you might just be aromantic, my guy. Nothing wrong with that.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-04-22T23:56:34+00:00

I think both genders experience “romantic” love for their partner but we just have different ideas for what romance actually means. What is romantic to me isn’t always going to feel romantic to my husband and vice versa. 🤷‍♀️

Bikerbats · 2026-04-23T01:57:46+00:00

As a man who's been married to the same woman for 35 years, I cannot begin to tell you how wrong you are. It seems as though you've taken your faults, and your inability to control them and projected them onto every man in existence.

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welphellothere01 · 2026-04-22T22:35:22+00:00

Women are not romantic. They love to receive it.

NewAndersGov · 2026-04-22T23:30:51+00:00

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Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-22T23:49:15+00:00

Less capable doesn’t mean incapable

Romantic feelings are all ultimately based in sex, regardless of gender

Southern_Source_2580 · 2026-04-23T00:17:52+00:00

Notice how women get denied financially in a relationship suddenly it's the biggest problem, when the money isn't the man, but sex entails ones body being shared with the person you supposedly romantically love yet somehow when it's a dead bedroom and the man is forced to give up his money to a woman who hold divorce rape over his head if he even remotely suggests she hold up her side of the reason they were even together.

Unless its rape, or too damn old to get the gear working, a relationship is expected to give and take what they both want. To suggest one isn't capable of romance when sexual desire is THE genuine reason why a man and woman is together is laughable especially since it if you take away finances from the woman and she stops the sex you never stop to think maybe women aren't capable of this romance you seem biased of.

DapperDan1929 · 2026-04-23T05:15:07+00:00

I don’t think it would be healthy for anyone to “resent” their sexuality.

Bitch_King-of_Angmar · 2026-04-23T07:41:37+00:00

tell us more about how you feel about women pls

balhaegu · 2026-04-23T08:29:45+00:00

So 500 days of Summer was a lie

Old_Assumption4020 · 2026-04-23T11:32:35+00:00

This stinks of "I'm not like other men!"

Bitter_Emu6366 · 2026-04-23T13:17:55+00:00

why don't women perform romantic gestures to men to help show the way? maybe if men enjoyed playing the romance game they would do it more.

Brief_Mongoose_7291 · 2026-04-23T13:47:59+00:00

Holy projection, Batman!

Fragrant-Menu215 · 2026-04-23T15:34:26+00:00

Actual studies, ones that have even managed the rare feat of replication in the social studies, prove the literal exact opposite of this. Men are the romantics. They're the ones who form deep emotional bonds. Women's emotional bonds are far shallower, though often faster-forming. This would also explain why women initiate literally >70% of divorces.

TempDong · 2026-04-23T18:05:35+00:00

This is just straight up wrong and a take this bad is really just an indication your parents have a terrible marriage or are divorced. You also sound like you've never been in love.

If nothing else mattered besides sex, then every single guy would be trying to have as much sex as possible. We'd see way more prostitution use and way more casual sex. I literally don't have a single friend who is just looking for a hookup - all the single ones are looking for girlfriends.

Men don’t “fall for” women unless they’re sexually attractive to him

This is also true of women btw.

Czerymoja · 2026-04-24T01:28:22+00:00

I agree OP. Men don’t care about romance at all if it doesn’t include sex. Men who „have it all” settle when they have too. It’s not their priority.

brazenbull09 · 2026-04-24T01:40:14+00:00

Currently, yes that's true, but I really hope you're not trying to push some gender-essentialist propaganda OP.

It's literally all just conditioning. And not just conditioning related to relationships.

Men ARE capable of romance.

Financial-Put6034 · 2026-04-25T11:25:23+00:00

It's really weird that you're just telling on yourself in this post.

But, to make a point...

If a man was just interested in the act of unrestrained coitus, there are plenty of women who are willing to do so.

Getting married restricts men from rampant sex.

RicoVeracruz0 · 2026-04-29T14:35:35+00:00

Both can be true. Men can want romantic love and horniness, they are not mutually exclusive.

Tankiplayer10 · 2026-04-30T03:11:42+00:00

“Most of them resent this sexual component of themselves, it aren’t strong enough to control it” there you go, MOST OF THEM not ALL OF THEM, it’s opinionated but I’d say you’re half right, men can’t feel love but that’s because love isn’t a real feeling, it’s building up of loyalty and positives associated with a person that feel like love even if it isn’t and most men are not just in it for sex, maybe 20% of men are

Barryw108 · 2026-05-04T06:10:21+00:00

Yes we are if a man first finds a woman attractive and after talking with her and getting to know her if the sparks fly and the sex is fantastic more than likely they will fall deeply in love and he will be very romantic

Working_Spite8787 · 2026-05-09T21:53:41+00:00

Im a man and am way more romantically driven than sexually. Do I not exist to you? What is this nonsense 😭😂

EugeneCezanne · 2026-04-22T22:47:03+00:00

What seems more likely?

Nearly all the men in the world for thousands of years are conducting a massive, unspoken conspiracy, on nearly all women, in all arts and media, even on each other, even on their therapists, even in their suicide notes, even in their private journals that no one finds until years after they're gone.
You're just projecting about yourself.

Muscletov · 2026-04-23T06:30:18+00:00

Women's sense of "romance" is just an elaborate form of bribery because most men by themselves are not sufficient prizes for a woman to stay committed and especially to have sex with. There's a reason "romance" basically boils down to "men doing shit for women".

CrispyLinettaa · 2026-04-23T07:35:27+00:00

You're wrong. Men are by far the more romantic gender. That is why men take so much longer to get over a breakup. Men are the only ones capable of romantic love. Women love opportunistically. Women love how a man makes them feel or what he can do for them. Women are the ones initiating most of the divorces and breakups.

SentinelATL · 2026-04-22T22:18:51+00:00

This is an unfortunate blanket statement that pigeonholes and bastardizes the male experience. Yes we want sex but if it were only about sex we would never want kids, or grandkids, or want loyalty and support. This black and white extremism to a male’s life is very frustrating. A lot of women literally only see us as horned up objectifying fuck machines and there’s way more to us

Inquiz_ · 2026-04-22T22:38:38+00:00

The entire ritual and template of romance was codified in the late 10th or 11th century by French noblewomen who believed a contract similar to what exists between feudal lords and their serfs should also exist between men and the women they pursue.

Men have loyally upheld that contract ever since, continuing to this day. One of the most obvious examples of which is the man bowing on one knee to propose to 'his superior'.

Additional-Case4392 · 2026-04-22T22:33:09+00:00

Nah, men love idealistically and women love opportunistically. Men are in love, women are in business.

Men are not capable of romantic love.

Comments

Which is why you don’t get laid.

Title	Men are not capable of romantic love.
Author	Newduuud
Upvotes	0
Comments	175
Date	April 22, 2026 10:00 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sszpkq/men_are_not_capable_of_romantic_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-not-capable-of-romantic-love.1578633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578633