When do you guys take off your ring?

Nice_General268 · 2026-05-25T14:59:15+00:00

Currently, we are still married; however, the ink on the divorce papers is drying as we speak. We have been separated for about 2 months. I was reluctant to take mine off until I noticed she had already taken her's off. So I guess the answer to the question is about a month after she moved out.

bdkgb · 2026-05-25T14:35:24+00:00

I need my wife wasn't wearing hers full time a while ago. I never said anything I just stopped as well. Lol It a little weird because I didn't realize how much I fidgeted with it until I stopped wearing it.

ChiMarOra · 2026-05-21T00:14:50+00:00

The moment I got served 🙄

UsualResult · 2026-05-20T18:44:40+00:00

When I realized my ex-wife put zero into the institution of marriage. At that point, there was nothing to wear it for. The thing it symbolized was dead.

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-05-20T15:50:09+00:00

Mine was off years before. I couldn’t wear it at work due to safety policy. I noticed it disappeared when we separated. Later I saw it on her affair partner when they got married. She was too cheap to buy him his own. Ended up being the right call because they filed for divorce 5 months later.

TheDavenessPhD · 2026-05-20T15:46:54+00:00

When I was ready. And not a moment before.

Good_Performance2060 · 2026-05-19T21:10:42+00:00

When I found out she was having fun playing basketball with the guy I suspected she was having an affair with instead of studying like she said. All this while I'm at home preparing for separation and grieving 12 years of our lives together and a broken family with 2 toddlers.

sheepshankred013 · 2026-05-20T15:44:17+00:00

The day after I moved out.. She said some heinous stuff to me when I told her I needed to walk after stonewalling me at every turn. The next day she sent me streams of hateful texts that were so targeted and designed to hurt. I had the single biggest panic attack of my life to the point that my friend who is a psych nurse and a combat veteran had to spend two hours with me to help me come down. I then threw that thing at mach f*** across the house. She was petty and left the ring I had gotten her, I ended up keeping them in a box together because our marriage meant something to me and I'm horribly sentimental.

mason2393 · 2026-05-20T03:32:48+00:00

When she said she wanted a divorce. Just felt wrong to wear it after that. Still have the indent it left and feels like everyone notices it like it's a sore thumb or something.

K-Seneca · 2026-05-20T00:27:42+00:00

2 months after she initiated divorce. She informed me that she did not want to attempt reconciliation.

KuzoKing · 2026-05-19T20:01:00+00:00

I stopped wearing mine as soon as she changed and started talking to an old lawyer friend of hers. Basically, everything went really cold between us, and we were only really together for the kids.

She would ask me to wear it when we went to appointments and kids’ events.

One day, while I was in Canary Wharf, I realised it represented something that no longer existed. I even started wondering if there was ever really anything there from the start lol. I threw it into the water. Best feeling ever. Still waiting to finalise the divorce, can’t wait to get it over and done with.

globuleofshit · 2026-05-19T19:58:11+00:00

As soon as she failed to show up to the 4th marriage counselling session, I knew she was no longer invested in us.

Why show a sign of loyalty and dedication when the other party doesn't.

Witty_Pin7210 · 2026-05-19T19:36:07+00:00

It’s truly a personal decision, my stbx took it off as soon as possible already started dating and posting pics with the new boo. I still wear mine as in my mind I’m still married til I’m not. Once the ink dries I’ll truly move on. Till then I don’t want to move like I when I’m not. For me it came to personal integrity, I can honestly say and know I did things in a moral and ethical way. To me that’s important if I’m ever going to trust again, if I can do it I can have hope someone else can too i guess.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-05-19T19:06:31+00:00

Soon as I found the affair it was off. Kept it in a drawer in my bathroom for a while. I began to feel like it had a weight to it like a curse. It felt evil to me. It no longer represented what it did. Threw it off a bridge on my way to work one day.

Jaanbu · 2026-05-19T19:01:18+00:00

Sadly it took awhile after my ex wife left for me to actually want to take it off. Almost 10 years wearing a ring and it took awhile to not feel “naked” without it.

Azazl187 · 2026-05-19T17:46:30+00:00

Youll just know when. One thing I learned is that no matter how similar your situation is to others, every one's break up is different.

Youll know when you need to remove the ring and I encourage you to not seek advice for when.

Sending you strength brother

Still_Employee_6572 · 2026-05-19T17:17:36+00:00

I wore mine at work for months after separation/divorce being filed but that was because I just thought people would see me as a sad guy going through divorce if they noticed. Truth is, almost no one cares enough about what’s going on in your life to notice, and it’s not something that will define you if you don’t let it. My advice is to take it off and sell it, use any money you get to buy something for yourself and focus on moving forward. You only have 1 life, you can decide at any moment to make it one you’re excited about or dwell on the past.

Gloomy_Feedback2794 · 2026-05-19T16:53:41+00:00

Complicated really my soon to be ex wife would take hers off during silence treatment so I started taking mine off as well. But when I left it came off for good.

O12345678 · 2026-05-19T13:11:51+00:00

I took mine off 10 years ago. Still not divorced.

Grafixx5 · 2026-05-19T13:00:29+00:00

I rarely wore mine because she rarely wore hers. She would tell me she couldn’t because of her job and I rebutted the same answer. I said I know military wives that wear their husband’s ring on a chain around their necks, why can’t you do the same? She said absolutely not. I kind of knew at that point where we stood and that was only like 3 years into a 16yr marriage. Now, my oldest daughter wears it around her neck on a chain that the exwife bought me as well. When she asked me for it, I asked her why she wanted it? My daughter replied, “I want something to remember you by.”

halfback26 · 2026-05-19T12:44:24+00:00

Honestly never wore it because I didn’t like wearing a ring. Now I’m just looking at it debating on if i should pawn it

UrAristotle · 2026-05-19T11:52:42+00:00

The day she told me for sure she wanted a divorce.

I had lost 30 pounds in the 3 months of back and forth that led up to her decision, so it was sort of falling off my hand already.

Victor505-426 · 2026-05-19T11:51:03+00:00

The day she filed and I buried it at the marital house before it sold

onecogmind · 2026-05-19T11:28:56+00:00

5 years before separation ...

Boomhower113 · 2026-05-19T11:25:34+00:00

Funny thing is that I had a skin infection under my ring about 2 weeks before everything went to shit.

I’m probably the exception.

rostoffario · 2026-05-19T11:15:08+00:00

I took mine off thr day after we separated. 7 months later it still feels weird not having a ring on.

wrxtasy846 · 2026-05-19T11:03:45+00:00

On a different note, I ended up keeping mine on for like a year after she filed for divorce. I have our 7 and 10 yr old children during the week, and I own restaurants. I kept the ring on because I wasn’t necessarily “available” and it helped avoid certain conversations. I wasn’t bothered when some people asked why I wore it. Once my life was very much transitioned, it started to feel like I was living a lie by keeping it on. Now two years later, the dent on my finger is just starting to go away. You do you

Technical-Jelly3466 · 2026-05-19T10:52:05+00:00

When she told me I should “take that fucking thing off”.

LoveCrispApples · 2026-05-19T10:15:23+00:00

Friday, July 13th, 2024 @ 3:30 pm. A week after she "liberated" herself from her own.

Drobertsenator · 2026-05-19T09:28:07+00:00

I took it off when it felt right. About a month after she left me and never talked to me again. So yeah

Life-South-1688 · 2026-05-19T06:43:41+00:00

This one is kind of surreal for me. I came home from work expecting dinner, my ex wife sat me down in the living room and the TLDR is "I don't love you anymore and I want to leave." This is after I suspected an affair was taking place. She got up and left in her car which was already packed with her things. I sat on the couch in the living room stunned for I don't know how long. Time just stopped for me. I looked down on the cushion to my left and saw my ring. I had apparently taken it off and placed it next to me without realizing it. Maybe because I was in shock or something. I remember looking it at and thinking, "huh, that's weird." and a few moments later just collapsing in grief. FUN TIMES LEMME TELL YA.

Jay_Cee_130 · 2026-05-19T05:39:18+00:00

I think mine off around 6 weeks into the separation

RunPeaceRun · 2026-05-19T05:21:57+00:00

I was wearing when she packed everything, went to airport. Then I saw she removed.

It crushed my reality of marriage as she didnt do anything to save it. Just blindsided ended, left

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-05-19T05:09:59+00:00

The day I had her served.

federally · 2026-05-19T04:16:58+00:00

As soon as I decided I was divorcing her I took it off and threw it across the construction site I was working at

InvertedPickleTaco · 2026-05-19T04:12:58+00:00

I took it off when she told me to leave the house. I gave it to her to give back if I ever earned it. What a silly thing to say, I should have just said for her to keep it until she decided I should have it or get rid of it.

I did see once she keeps her rings randomly in her car somewhere. I get she doesn't care about them, but why try to have them stolen? She forgets I spent literally everything I had at that time on them and seeing her chuck them in her cup holder is a gut punch.

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2026-05-19T04:05:04+00:00

She asked for a separation in early August. I had a work trip the next week and didn’t want to answer any questions from colleagues (doubt anyone would have noticed, but I was feeling self conscious).

Found out she’d been having an emotional affair a week or so later. Haven’t worn it since.

ch0633341 · 2026-05-19T03:33:59+00:00

It's been 18 months since dday and over a year since she filed for divorce. I still have mine on. Im probably stupid but i only belive in one woman one marriage. I've been hurt to many times to even think about another relationship so what does it matter

CherryEuphoric3557 · 2026-05-19T03:31:04+00:00

When it started to feel like a weight on my finger as Tolkien described in Lord of the Rings. Just like LOTR, it also appeared to make me invisible in my own house.

I went from not noticing it for 10 years to feeling it constantly. It came off that night when I got home from work, it felt like a lie after she took hers off.

Maseworld · 2026-05-19T03:28:23+00:00

When she moved out I tossed it in a drawer. I took her upgraded ring back to Costco. 🤷🏾‍♂️

balleditmoreravens · 2026-05-19T03:26:40+00:00

I pawned it before she even moved out

notconvinced780 · 2026-05-19T03:22:56+00:00

When she said she wanted to separate.

steak-raspberry · 2026-05-19T03:20:55+00:00

As soon as she said she wanted to move forward with selling our house and to move out and live on her own. It felt like a lie wearing it before that anyways since she wasn’t wearing hers.

dustydoritofingers · 2026-05-19T03:19:11+00:00

The day after because she took hers off. It was the worst part of the whole thing. So final. So cold. So naked.

I ended up keeping both of them. The divorce is final. But I can't erase that it mattered and they are in their boxes. They do symbolize the fun we had. Just sad that it had to end.

There is no right or wrong answer for when you take it off. If it's a comfort to have it on. Keep it on. If it's a reminder of the end. Take it off. But do it on your time. When you're ready.

Ark161 · 2026-05-19T03:15:03+00:00

for me, I would say it was about 6 months after she said she wanted a divorce. It, was not an easy thing to do. I still wore it as a necklace for a bit. It was kind of a comfort just to have it on my person. The ring was kind of a big deal to me. It was a promise, and I may not have been the best husband at times, but I always have been a person of my word.

slimypeters · 2026-05-19T03:14:25+00:00

I forgot and I forgot where I stored it. Was thinking about selling it but I can't find it.

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2026-05-19T03:13:21+00:00

As soon as she said she no longer wanted to work to reconcile. As far as I'm concerned I was no longer married in God's eyes. The legal proceedings had no bearing on my married status personally.

voonoo · 2026-05-19T03:07:22+00:00

About 6 months ago…. It kind of sucks I don’t have a bottle opener with me at all times now

KingJon85 · 2026-05-19T03:06:35+00:00

Just take it off. Free yourself. This is one of many changes that you'll have to get used to.

Delicious-Curious · 2026-05-19T03:00:05+00:00

Taking mine off the day after our 25th anniversary this summer. She took hers off months ago.

AM-Bullfrog1512 · 2026-05-19T02:51:19+00:00

Several years into the marriage. One day I noticed she wasn't wearing hers. And she has a ring tattoo from her first marriage. So, I quit wearing mine.

I'm really happy now, that I decided not to get a finger tat to show our relationship strength.

It would have been a mistake.

Difficult_Animal2609 · 2026-05-19T02:45:44+00:00

Kept mine on for longest time (STBXW took hers off years ago), and one day something happened where I had enough, and I tossed it in the trash…not even the recycling 😁

Full-Environment5239 · 2026-05-19T02:45:40+00:00

The ring was bigger for me than her. She initiated 8 weeks ago and I had a hard time with it. I was planning on wearing it until we finalized- since technically I made a promise and I’m keeping it to the end. Sometimes I think I’m just a cuck for doing it - going through the motions I guess.

nonotmeporfavor · 2026-05-19T02:43:19+00:00

I never put mine on.

Then_Inside6809 · 2026-05-19T02:32:45+00:00

The day she filed. I was done long before she filed anyway.

youngridge1 · 2026-05-19T02:30:11+00:00

The day she moved out. It was like a weight being lifted off of me.

QuietlyFunctional · 2026-05-19T02:28:18+00:00

I took mine off when I didn’t recognize myself or my partner and realized we were done.

Title	When do you guys take off your ring?
Author	padreazul
Upvotes	16
Comments	79
Date	May 19, 2026 2:25 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1th9dkm/when_do_you_guys_take_off_your_ring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-do-you-guys-take-off-your-ring.1580708 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580708

Comments