[REPOST] “It is dangerous to be in the provider role because of the high risks. As well as the reality that women treat their casual sexual partners better than they treat their long term relationship partners.”

Male and female behaviors are both evolutionarily determined and learned. Learning behaviors, however, is very slow. We can learn new human behaviors that fit better with survival and behaviors which become obsolete may be unlearned, but this takes a lot of time; often this process can take several generations. In Western countries in the 21st Century, we find ourselves in such a situation. Women no longer have much of a practical need to manipulate a man into serving as a provider to them(because society demands him to do so anyway), and women, therefore, find that they are struggling to unlearn these manipulative behaviors. This is a laborious process because, on the one hand, such manipulative behavior can still be very fruitful to a woman in terms of survival in today's world, but such behavior often brings internal and external conflict in dating. Dangers of Being Strictly a Provider man. As it occurs with particular women. If a man tries to put himself strictly in the Provider role with a modern woman, eventually he will elicit in her the following symptoms: • Boredom • A massive lowering of her sexual attraction towards him • Sometimes, even outright contempt from her towards the man

Men need to realize that the provider role is a dangerous role to find yourself nowadays. It has always been dangerous, But before, women were acting less hypergamous than now. In the Modern Age coming from the Lover-Provider dichotomy is at its maximum. This is largely because of a culture that simultaneously grants women greater sexual freedom than ever before, while interesting men to provide materially for families that they may no longer form a powerful part of society, i.e. in cases of child custody disputes, child support payments, and alimony. To keep up a woman's sexual attraction, be a lover to her first and foremost. You can be also a provider to her, but only without taking away the lover part of your personality.

The consequences of relationships with women with this mindset is that this modern woman can and will give you contradictory communication, and she will do so continuously. It cannot be emphasized enough: a relationship with a woman should be viewed as a never-ending, ongoing process; not something that can be resolved once and for all. Commitments, marriage, pronouncements of never-ending love made during romantic moments; none of these change the fact that a relationship with a woman is a never-ending process.

This comment inspired me to make this post because it highlights one of the key points that I was trying to convey in my last post that women “hold certain men at a higher regard than they do to men they supposedly do not “care” about. Those men get treated better in all aspects.

“I myself, and the women I know, were more likely (when we were still on the market) to sleep with a man we didn’t care about faster, once we’d ascertained that he wasn’t some kind of murderer. A woman who sleeps with you quickly is basically saying that she doesn’t care enough about you to try to get the relationship right, and she’s basically using you as an animate dildo. If we’re looking for an LTR, we want to know that we can be friends first. That said, I don’t get the ‘plates’ thing. Maybe because I’m older, neither me nor any of my friends ever had multiple guys at once.” This brings up, again, an issue that I see a lot from terps: you guys see the guy who gets lots of no-strings sex as the winner. Women see him as just slightly above the losers who aren’t safe enough to have sex [edit, because apparently it’s needed: or an LTR] with at all. We see the winners as the men we choose to be fathers to our children. Those are the men we’re giving our lives to.” u/medlabunican

A redditor replied: “Raising a family with us is the reward you get for choosing us when we have nothing and we’re building ourselves, and for committing to us when you were at your youngest and most attractive, instead of romping around with multiple men “who you actually thought were losers.”

Bottom line is that women treat “the losers” they don’t want to marry better than the men they choose to father their children, - “winning” a whole heap of your expectations for the fulfillment of utility, while your libido “fluctuates” is actually losing. Those men are not “winners” u/SeemedGood