Q4W: purely philosophically, wouldn’t it be more honest for a man initially approaching a woman for the very first time to comment or remark on her appearance, looks, or how attractive he finds her?

Preface: Yes, women are more than their looks and sex. No SJW is doing anyone any favors or changing the world in any way by turning this into an issue.

I always found it ironic that most relationships literally start off disingenuous or with dishonesty (because such behaviors are accepted and welcomed), but honest and completely transparent communication is effectively punished and dissuaded.

Now, I’m not talking about what works irl. That’s not at all the point of this question. I’m only asking about a hypothetical utopia, an aspirational ideal for human behavior.

Case 1:

Imagine an attractive man walking up to you and saying, “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but I think I would lose sleep tonight if I didn’t come by to say hi. ... Hi, I’m Jeff.”

There’s a lot that’s implicit here, and a lot of subtext, especially with voice and facial expressions, eye contact and smiling. On its face, there’s nothing about looks. In fact, there’s nothing, period. Yet, implicitly, there is something there that clearly motivated him to walk over. The listener is left to fill in the blank or silence.

Case 2:

Imagine an attractive man walking up to you and saying, “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but you were just too beautiful for me to not come by to say hi. ... Hi, I’m Jeff.”

Immediately, there’s a gut level negative feeling as a woman. It’s as if the words are a spell - magically awakening every social script she has adopted about men and women since she was a girl.

• Eww
• He sounds like a player
• He just wants sex
• Oh, so he only approached me because of how I look? (etc).

Again, irl, I get it. But, let’s get outside of our skin for a moment. Not think as men or as women, but as a gender neutral person.

What happened the moments immediately preceding the man approaching? He noticed the woman. What did he notice about her? Honestly and realistically, what did he notice about her? Her shoes? Her dog? Her drink? Let’s get real and be honest. He noticed the way she looks, her appearance. That is what triggered his attraction and motivated him to walk over and talk to her.

And on top of that, she enjoys feeling and wants to feel attractive and wanted (again, we’re talking about only men she’s actually attracted to).

So, I ask, why is there a gut level negative response to what is essentially ... honesty?

I mean, if whatever is happening continues, this initial interaction is eventually going to lead into a relationship. Isn’t it ironic for the very first communication and connection to be based on dishonesty and a lie (even if merely by omission)?