Nothing but facts

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-09-07T13:06:15+00:00

And men (and pick me’s) vanilla shaming women for wanting her sexual partner to be monogamous, have gentle sex that doesn’t hurt or degrade her and not make homemade p*rn that’s going to end up the internet or passed around to his friends has got to stop.

MixWide · 2020-09-07T13:58:59+00:00

Men dominating women is quite literally the most run-of-the-mill, commonplace, conventional sexual dynamic in the world, and they're out here trying to sell it as deviant and kinky.

szuszik4 · 2020-09-07T13:47:19+00:00

Also, this should go without saying, but be extremely suspicious and vigilant of men who have a "kink" for strangulating women. A man who gets off on an act that has a high risk of harming you or even killing you isn't right in the head and should be considered dangerous. There is no correct way to strangle someone, despite what people online would have you believe, every time you get strangled you run the risk of permanent brain damage and even death, especially when it's done by a man who will have a significantly stronger grip strength than you do.

This next one is more of a personal reason for being disgusted with this bullshit. I will never forget the chapter in one of the forensic pathology books I read, which was about asphyxiation deaths. The book emphasised multiple times in this chapter to always check (especially female) homicide victims of strangulation for signs of sexual assault, because strangulation and sexual assault are intrinsically linked.

vereelimee · 2020-09-07T14:31:16+00:00

I think the most interesting part is that men no longer have that same power. At least with polyamory, there are many accounts with men being shocked their partner finds instant options to have sex. Yet he can't get anyone to pick him.

So many cases of men being mad that their plan to have all these random women wanting his dick. None of them want him. Except it's not magical and his partner is drowning in offers. Usually the woman realizes how absurd it is to stay with the angry delusional man.

Polyamory is backfiring for men. It's not sexy to date a man in an open relationship. It's gross. There is no longer a benefit for women in marrying a man and being another wife. That ship has sailed hundreds of years ago. You would think men would realize it as you don't see average men with entourages of women begging for his attention. We don't have time for that we are working and leveling up.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-09-07T13:07:24+00:00

I’m on the left politically and I really hate that poly and BDSM weirdos seem to dominate the landscape. I also hate that they think they’re just like gay people. Some straight white dude who is “poly” and beats his gf is not like a gay person. In fact, he’s like, peak traditional straight.

asteria2002 · 2020-09-07T13:04:55+00:00

This! Men have always abused women, the only difference in 2020 is that it is being encouraged by society to young girls. Abuse doesn't stop being abuse if you consented, it becomes Consensual ABUSE. I have seen men compare rape with this and they said like "rape is sex so now we must also not have sex, because it is rape?" well )1. Rape LITERALLY means NOnConsensual sex) 2. While abuse means bringing harm to someone, if you consented doesn't mean it doesn't harm literally nothing changed other than you disrespecting your body and telling that it safety and health doesn't matter.

_nylea · 2020-09-07T14:20:03+00:00

I can't believe I was actually swindled into being into BDSM as a teenager. I genuinely believed that that was the ONLY way to make myself interesting in bed. Little did I know, it was just a huge scam, and its appeal to me was just a reflection of my earlier trauma more than anything.

Scam, scam, scam. Men almost always orgasm, no matter what. Time for me to focus on my own.

TERVENCORRUPTOR9000 · 2020-09-07T15:02:23+00:00

Bragging about how much of a "dom" you are is nothing but pathetic posturing to me. It's actually radical nowadays to admit that as a man, you want to pleasure your partner and get off on seeing her happy. I'm only interested in the latter type, thank you very much.

(Word of encouragement - I've met a lot of self-declared givers recently. Not that I'm going to test, my boyfriend is giving enough 😂 but at least SOME men take pride in being an actual good lover rather than a trauma bonding aficionado)

howdoilogoutt · 2020-09-07T14:02:05+00:00

Yep Poly-relationships are not new, and were often used as a way for men to control, and have sex with more women.

ms_monquis · 2020-09-07T17:19:17+00:00

Poly hype is a joke.

No, it is not a “valid orientation like any other,” it’s a behavior. And even if it were that doesn’t mean you go around insisting other people do it, too. The superiority of so many so-called poly people I’ve known is laughable. One swinger I knew (and to be clear, he was a swinger, not poly) told me I was “less evolved” because I didn’t want to/actually fuck every dude I saw. He could not, however, explain how acting like a dog was MORE evolved.

It’s more pornsickness and weak minded people trying to find a way to be interesting. “It’s so modern!” No, it isn’t at all. Read something other than twitter and look at something other than Instagram sometime. “Humans weren’t meant to be monogamous!” Well, humans were also not meant to shit indoors, you need to regress on that one too?

This topic set me off, clearly. ;)

The “good” news is it’s almost always a phase.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-09-07T16:02:07+00:00

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electroloop · 2020-09-07T13:48:04+00:00

The entire rhetoric of BDSM and the subculture (including polyamory), is a method for misogynistic males to openly express their violence and objectification towards women and masquerade it behind a “kink.”

The more entertaining guys are the ones who openly admit their affiliation with BDSM on their dating profiles, or within the first few dates. It’s like their standing there waving a red flag and try to base their entire identity on this garbage. Yuck.

MarbleWorld · 2020-09-07T15:34:11+00:00

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RiasXgremoryX · 2020-09-07T15:20:27+00:00

Movies like the ''Fifty shades of grey'' trilogy and ''365 days'' are trying to brainwash and condition women into being more accepting of thinly veiled abuse disguised as BDSM. This type of ''kink'' bs only satisfies and benefits MEN. not women.

pao664 · 2020-09-07T17:09:28+00:00

Always Hard pass on men’s profiles that say any of the following: “Kinky” “Open minded” “Dominant” “Not vanilla”

Another kink many of these dudes have is a breeding fetish. Run from this. These men just want to “own” your body and have no intention of protecting and providing for any offspring.
Male sexual depravity is sadly bottomless.

likejackandsally · 2020-09-07T14:30:34+00:00

I actually had a conversation with a male friend about this.

Dudes into “kinky” stuff only want to humiliate women. If a dude says he’s kinky, but isn’t okay with something like pegging, what he really wants is to dominate and humiliate his partner. Usually because he’s actually inadequate at sex or has some other insecurities revolving around women and intimacy.

When I see that kind of stuff on dating profiles, it’s a red flag.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-07T22:48:21+00:00

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Hmtnsw · 2020-09-07T14:57:18+00:00

Polygamy was a survival tactic. Knock up 2-3 women and then go off to war that you may not come back from. But hey, the women are pregnant so essentially men were mere sperm donors and fought battles.

We don't live like that anymore, so there is no need for it.

2020-09-07T15:20:03+00:00

I don't even want to associate with men into BDSM, nevermind date them. It's just an excuse for psychopaths to sexually abuse women.

level_six_clean · 2020-09-07T14:40:32+00:00

I’m still new here so I just want to ask a question on this topic- it seems like “identifying as poly” and being “out” about being into BDSM is a fairly new phenomenon, like maybe the last 15 years or so.

When I was in my 20’s I’m sure these ideas existed and were practiced by people but they were hush hush and just not talked about freely like they are today.

It seems to me that I’d rather know right off the bat if someone is into that stuff rather than have them hide it and then spring it on me after wasting time with them. So is the FDS view that they should shut up about it, or just that it’s LV/NV behavior, or something else?

Maybe I’m just older but I appreciate that I can disqualify people right away because they aren’t “in the closet” with these types of behaviors anymore.

Although, I guess BDSM and poly being more mainstream now means more opportunities for abusive people to coerce people into doing things they don’t want to also. I dunno how I feel about this now.

2020-09-07T18:32:51+00:00

men repackaging abuse of women as eMpoWeriNg and indicative of sexual liberation + getting it ~protected~ under a thin guise of social justice rhetoric is so fucking insidious and calculative and it's why men as a whole absolutely terrify me.

women must interrogate every preference/desire they have for signs of originating from conditioning to appease the male gaze. de-centering men is another necessity to protect ourselves from their filth tbh. like just the optics of a man slapping a woman??? if anything, violence occurring during sex, which is supposed to be a loving, caring experience, makes zero sense because intimacy is a way to connect with ur partner.

finally, men are always looking for ways to obfuscate their hatred of women. this is just another way. men also love co-opting feminist language. it's obvious to me, but I'm vigilant nonetheless.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-07T13:01:50+00:00

Preach 🙌🏼

2020-09-07T15:19:44+00:00

Thank you. Classic male abuse.

Villanelloh · 2020-09-07T16:38:14+00:00

Men brand themselves as "open minded" and "progressive" if they say they're poly. What they want is a harem of subservient women to bear their children. It's so gross that they think this is an ok way to view women.

Strawberrycreem · 2020-09-07T19:44:42+00:00

My ex tried to force and manipulate me into poly, polyamory is such a trigger and I used to feel bad for finding it disgusting but how many relationships do you see with two men and one woman? Very very little, it’s a harem fantasy by men who want to also fetishize lesbian relationships and fuck multiple women, and want the umbrella protection that valid sexual orientations have to avoid criticism

smaller_ang · 2020-09-07T16:31:57+00:00

[deleted]

GIfuckingJane · 2020-09-07T16:20:48+00:00

[deleted]

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-09-07T21:36:39+00:00

At this point I’ve lost hope that non porn wanking, so called “vanilla” men exist. I’ve heard too many women talk about their sexual boundaries being violated and that scares me.

I still, even at 28, seeking to leave an agency that extorted and blamed me for sexual assault so it’s like my life got “defined” by it. Been grieving and scared at how much grieving I’m doing at missing out on romantic love because I’m terrified I’ll regress back into wanting a bf only to end up getting raped; most of them seem really turned on by abusing women. Can’t trust them. Hate being straight ffs.

mscristalconnors · 2020-09-07T17:02:06+00:00

[deleted]

ashwheee · 2020-09-07T14:13:24+00:00

Also legitimate q here: why is it polyamorous vs monogamous? Why not polygamous or mono-amorous?

HaveNoIdeaWhatToPick · 2020-09-07T19:04:27+00:00

I can't stop rolling my eyes when I hear about the straight male that is "into BDSM but ONLY the dominant side of it of course". Couldn't be more obvious honestly..

MonicaLSolis · 2020-09-08T00:08:25+00:00

I have a misandry fetish. I only get sexual arousal from humiliating and degrading men. Don't kink shame me 😡

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-09-07T21:41:07+00:00

BDSM in a bit shell; don’t rape me just pretend to.

Acting out porn and traumas .

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-08T10:59:01+00:00

How does anyone not get this?

ThrowingItIntoTheSea · 2020-09-07T14:53:18+00:00

[removed]

WorthReindeer8 · 2020-09-07T18:41:54+00:00

What if he wants you to hurt him like bdsm? Is that okay

KY0203 · 2020-09-07T21:36:20+00:00

The poly sub has so many posts of men agreeing to polyamory then the female has zero issue finding dates while he can’t find one himself. Backfires.

Not all poly men are garbage humans BUT I do think garbage men use poly as an excuse.

mscristalconnors · 2020-09-07T20:00:59+00:00

I’m poly! But men hate it because they can’t control me and I BENEFIT the most with resources.

It’s sad I have to say no to kink a lot. It’s humiliating.

🙄

oasisreverie · 2020-09-12T18:11:48+00:00

Nothing but the truth!

And not just straight men, but creepy bisexual and queer men as well.

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-09-07T21:21:10+00:00

🔥🔥🔥🔥 shots fired.

AyemHerself · 2020-09-07T21:43:20+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Nothing but facts
Author	YellowFlickerBeat_
Upvotes	2204
Comments	206
Date	September 7, 2020 12:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/io6lzf/nothing_but_facts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/nothing-but-facts.271287 https://theredarchive.com/post/271287

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