I've been going to online therapy sessions at the recommendation of my therapist who thought it would be good for me since I'm so isolated. It surprisingly has helped and I'm grateful for her advice.
However, while most of these sessions are for only women some of them are open to the general public so men can attend them too.
We were sharing things about ourselves and our coping methods, etc. I told the group that I've been exploring hobbies and interests to stay busy such as: gardening, learning about butterflies, making earrings, make-up, nail art, fashion, sewing, crocheting, hiking, Pilates, yoga, weight-lifting, boxing, bellydancing, self-defense, woodmaking, baking, gun shooting, podcasts, and more.
I kinda went on a tangent but that's because I tend to get nervous when speaking in front of others. Most of the women expressed their fascination with what I said but the men? Some of them looked skeptical. One of them told me: (direct quote)
"Damn, your listing of hobbies made me tired trying to keep up. Isn't it too much? You sure you have time to do all that?"
I felt put on the spot and kinda humiliated since I could see a lot of the men in the session nodding in agreement. My heart was pounding so loud, my stomach going into knots and I could feel myself dissociating again but I managed to pull myself together. I remember saying, "I don't need you to keep up with me." before I could even think about it. It was in a quiet, shaking voice but I looked into the camera as I said it. Which is a huge step for me because of my social anxiety.
There was a few awkward laughs but the subject was changed to another one. He tried reaching out after the session was over but I blocked him instead. This is a 35 year old man, by the way. I didn't feel safe or comfortable talking to him so I didn't allow him into my "space."
I've been sitting on it for a full day and night now and the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.
Why do men think that women don't have any hobbies? More and more, I see this all over social media and on TV. Women and girls being labeled as vapid if they don't have hobbies, but immature if those hobbies are too "girly" and/or doesn't have men's approval. We get shamed no matter what. I did, even if it wasn't intentional. Or maybe it was, I don't know for sure.
Online therapy sessions was supposed to be my safe place. Now I'm going to attend only the ones for women because I can't put myself through that again. It triggered something in me that I didn't even noticed was there.
I didn't know where to post this without being attacked or something and I can't talk to my therapist about it until Monday either. So yea.
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie578 points579 points580 points
(4 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheDameWithoutASmileFDS Newbie172 points173 points174 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]djfrankenjuiceFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple63 points64 points65 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]honeybeerollFDS Disciple19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist170 points171 points172 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bonfire_heart85 points86 points87 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ReignOnYou9537 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EternallySlumberingFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice118 points119 points120 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 50 points51 points52 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candid_Check_4843FDS Newbie322 points323 points324 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 127 points128 points129 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Disciple132 points133 points134 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 73 points74 points75 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candid_Check_4843FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SunSandAndPsychosis4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deep_faked_beansFDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]keepcalmandFREAKOUTFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Throwawayrightaway28FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple97 points98 points99 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 29 points30 points31 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple23 points24 points25 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Integrated_WholeThrowaway Account11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GrungeAudreyFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EKGsAndPianoKeys2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 68 points69 points70 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist50 points51 points52 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist84 points85 points86 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist46 points47 points48 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 20 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scaredfailFDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple25 points26 points27 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]iwant-to-stay-unknowFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie109 points110 points111 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 51 points52 points53 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]pawg_patrolFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pawg_patrolFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lysa3FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]keepcalmandFREAKOUTFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]keepcalmandFREAKOUTFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepysiriFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]uptownxthotFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]truebeauty112FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Outrageous-KnowledgeFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]haggis_risingFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alwaysonalongtripFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lysa3FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mamma_MidnightFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mamma_MidnightFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deep_faked_beansFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CroneRaisedMaidenFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points
(2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CroneRaisedMaidenFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MediccibitchFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Puzzleheaded_PickleFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GabbaG0ulFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]degnan1214FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GenevieveAriellaFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Greedy_Ad954FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KateJ1982FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ferociouslycuriousFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenshadownymphFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pat_labor_of_loveFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickadaisyFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThesseliFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HappyTriangleFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_o0-O-0o_Pickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_o0-O-0o_Pickmeisha™️3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WkndwhorechataFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlacktontonguetoffeeFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rlcuteFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tw231116FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]reallyuglypuppiesFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dandymalionFDS Newbie[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]reallyuglypuppiesFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link