Anybody ever regret getting divorced because you never got as good sex again?

Paradiseplunge · 2023-07-21T18:50:27+00:00

Exact opposite. Stbxw was a dead fish.

RideATX · 2023-07-21T16:00:18+00:00

No, girls try way harder when they don't have a ring...

Historical_Button_34 · 2023-07-21T16:14:15+00:00

Nope. Not regretting ever getting divorced, not even because of sex. TBH, having more and better sex after getting divorced. Yes, love makes sex better, but I don’t miss having sex with the EW

Gattsama · 2023-07-21T18:53:55+00:00

I suspect the eX had BPD traits. We were dead bed the last 2.5 years. But during the separation, she love bombed me. We went from zero sex and her changing in the closet/bathroom, so I couldn't even see her naked; to anything I wanted, anyway I wanted, anytime I wanted.

It was fun but also a manipulation tactic. I'll skip my personal fetishism and tastes. She followed orders, and we indulged in many of my fantasies. Until the devaluation stage, then I filed.

Have a new girlfriend that isn't ask kinky (at least not yet) but she's genuinely attracted to me, wants to please me, never turns down sex, and has an oral fixation (sometimes way to much kissing, but hey life is about trade offs lol). Everything is better than with the eX.

You also posted about preferring the labia majora be larger than the labia minora; ie has a slit with no lips. First, get off OF. It's for simps and a waste of your time and money. If you want porn it's free = the internet. Second, lots of women have this feature, and if it means that much to you, you will have no problem finding them.

As others have said, girlfriends normally work harder than wives because they know they have to. Good sex is a very subjective term. I don't k own what the new girl and I will end up doing. The eX (when willing) was down for lots more, but it was often a manipulation tactic, empty, not consistent, and mixed with emotional & mental abuse. During the 2.5 years of dead bed, I was fine with not having sex with her. I didn't want to. I'm a man and wanted physical and sexual intimacy; but our relationship was so toxic I didn't want to with her.

Bottom line, there are reasons we got divorced. For me, I have better sex (but less kink) after divorce. I only expect things to get better and better as I develop more emotional intimacy with whomever I'm with, and I do more mentally healing.

coffeefrog92 · 2023-07-21T15:49:53+00:00

Tbh, yeah. My ex and I were going at it right up until she dropped the bomb, and it was good sex.

I personally think having sex with one person many times is much better than many people for one time only. You learn a lot about each other that way and I always thought it got better over time. Until she split, of course.

Zapped2311 · 2023-07-21T16:01:32+00:00

Not yet divorced, but know it's coming- mutual understanding that it's inevitable- and for real, the sex is the only enjoyable 'glue' anymore. I mean... it's GOOOOOD.

I'm betting I'll go without entirely once we split; there's just no substitution for certain things, sometimes.

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2023-07-21T19:51:34+00:00

Nope. Sex is far and away better with my wife than with my ex. Heck, even masturbation was better than sex with my ex.

Mangrove43 · 2023-07-21T18:52:15+00:00

The exact opposite. It’s great since it has No Alimony attached

extramediumweaksauce · 2023-07-21T23:16:12+00:00

You guys are having sex? Where do you find the time around job, kids, house, singleish parenting (ex is around but useless).

Plus, I got dragged through some fucked up poly/swinging crap and kinda grossed out by it all right now.

Retying3043 · 2023-07-21T20:10:37+00:00

Once I realized sex is a very effective means of control and manipulation, I lost interest in it. I have no regrets. You are essentially trading your freedom, allowing yourself to be oppressed, in exchange for sexual attention. It is not worth it to me. Here is a test, and you can use this test whenever you wonder if any type of involvement with a woman is a good idea: go jack off, and immediately after you have released, ask yourself if the involvement was a good idea. You will have post-nut clarity on your side and will make the wisest decision every time.

NefariousNaz · 2023-07-21T16:15:34+00:00

No I didn't want to touch her and was grossed out by her.

azwildcat74 · 2023-07-21T16:20:25+00:00

No, to the contrary actually.

Jonger1150 · 2023-07-21T17:32:30+00:00

I got divorced because my ex-wife was extremely mean and short-fused. I was looking forward to a better sex life, but then my SSRI usage caught up with me and virtually took all my drive away. I have been with a woman who got upset at first, but now she gets it.

Just rough timing.

ranger69danger · 2023-07-21T18:50:42+00:00

Nope. Used to think I had it good with the ex. Turns out I was way wrong.

stevenhs8821 · 2023-07-21T21:07:06+00:00

I only seem to attract women with high libidos. So no.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-07-21T17:53:45+00:00

I dated european girls in my earlier days and the exw was never as good as them but it didn't matter, I still loved the heck out of her. Anyways, that area was never great and the exw torpedoed my confidence with some really nasty comments after Dday ( really to justify her affair).

Well, the 1st woman I hooked up with after divorce was 100x better and just all around better communicator, more fun, free, etc and let's just say my confidence has recently skyrocketed. No, I don't miss my ex, her vanilla routine or her explosive flatulence, she is her AP's problem now.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-07-21T18:50:26+00:00

Starfish duty sex is the norm once married and the frequency is massively reduced. People tend to make much more effort when single or in a non marital relationship. Ask any married man if he’s satisfied with his sex life (when his wife is NOT within earshot) and he will tell you it’s terrible. The sexless marriage is the norm once kids come along and the biggest reason for male cheaters. I know a few men who stepped out of their marriages, but not for just sex, it was to feel desired, respected and appreciated by a woman, not to be treated as an ATM and babysitter.

catter3423 · 2023-07-21T16:38:18+00:00

I’m worried about that. I thought our sex life was pretty good considering how long we were together. We knew what each other liked and were into each others little kinks etc. Seems like a lot of work to build that chemistry again.

67Luck · 2023-07-21T20:16:11+00:00

Zero regrets, sex or otherwise. Divorced 12+ years now. That said it’s been exponentially better.

phalo · 2023-07-21T20:18:32+00:00

Not one bit. I had a dead bedroom for years and 1-2x/yr of pity sex that was terrible. I have amazing sex with my gf now, it's way better than I had with my ex.

Jigglytep · 2023-07-21T21:01:40+00:00

You need to realign your perspectives.

Sex is sex… it can be good or bad. With a person you love or are just FWB.

A bad marriage will eat your happiness in ways you cannot imagine. It will affect your other relationships and your professional career.

You can have good sex and a happy marriage. Get some counseling and fix your problems.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2023-07-21T23:14:52+00:00

Wow, I think it would typically be the opposite experience.

For me it has been. I’ve gotten WAY better sex since getting divorced. Amazingly better sex.

Long-Review-1861 · 2023-07-22T09:36:14+00:00

Bro a year away from her and you won't even remember the "amazing" sex

henrysmyagent · 2023-07-21T17:25:50+00:00

Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend, a prostitute, and a wife?

A: A girlfriend says "You're done already?"

A prostitute say "Aren't you done yet?"

A wife says "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling in beige."

Is there anything worse than duty sex? Wife just lays there spread out like a starfish until you are finished.

Girlfriends try harder!!

Ok, one more...

Q: How do you stop a woman from giving blow jobs?

A: Feed her wedding cake!

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2023-07-21T18:19:12+00:00

No way get out there and enjoy yourself stop making excuses find several beautiful 20 something year olds and enjoy the ride ! Girls want it just like we do don’t be fooled . Get out there and enjoy it ! Isn’t the saying something like you think she’s special ? bang 10 girls and you won’t even remember her name

dadplup · 2023-07-21T19:43:35+00:00

No, the last few years of my marriage nearly ended me I tried twice, I didn't want it to happen a third time , my bed was dead for 7 years before we divorced, so without sounding like a jerk it wasn't that good to begin with, my exwife just didn't want me and I wasn't begging,

Although I'm not dating anyone I have had a couple of mind blowing ons since then, and I rediscovered the joy of sex since

My only regret is that I waited so long to get a divorce but seeing where my ex it's been and where she ended up with my stepson, I am terrified to think that my daughter would've been there too if I didn't get custody of her

_nothingmatters_ · 2023-07-21T19:44:36+00:00

Nope.

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2023-07-21T20:31:28+00:00

No way! I thought post-divorce i wouldn’t have great sex like my ex again, man I was wrong. Great sex is a great partner away.

jalopkoala · 2023-07-21T20:49:39+00:00

Nope. And this isn’t even my final form.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-07-21T22:16:59+00:00

we had a technically dead bedroom the entire marriage-roughly once a month-occasionally more-usually less

but the sex we did have was very good...until the last 2 years....when it was clearly duty sex and she started having menopause issues that she was not interested in treating

i'm sure she will seek treatment once she starts post divorce hook ups

have not had sex since early may of last year-and even then it was not completed due to her issues.

really no idea how to pick up women irl and have no real adult dating experience (been w/my wife since i was 24)

Moeasfuck · 2023-07-21T23:38:55+00:00

It gets better with each partner.

DigitalisEffect · 2023-07-22T00:11:57+00:00

Nah. Sex with my girlfriend now is WAYYYY more adventurous and fun than it ever was with my ex.

peepeeandpoopoosaur · 2023-07-22T01:03:39+00:00

I don’t regret it, but yes the sex was killer. Especially when we attempted reconciliation. Through therapy I discovered that because she has BPD and would put me through the loop of love bombing, devaluation, discard over and over, I was addicted to her. And the sex felt very much like a drug. I have since met someone else that I took my time before finally having sex with her, and I can tell you, she showed me that I am not broken, and only able to have great sex with someone I am addicted to. I now have a healthy relationship, without instability, great communication and respect, and the sex is 10x better. Especially because I don’t feel like a POS afterwards. OP, get some therapy under your belt, figure out the unhealthy aspects of why the sex was so good with your EX, heal that shit, and I promise you, you will experience so much better. No one can just have great healthy sex with someone that they can’t ultimately maintain a healthy and functional relationship with. There’s gotta be some toxic shit there somewhere. Find it. Heal it. And your mind will be blown with someone else.

Grood79 · 2023-07-22T04:45:26+00:00

So I’m middle of divorce. 20+ year marriage. 7 years from wife’s affair. Throwing in white towel.

All you guys talking all this sex - how to I not get an STD? I mean how do you bring it up or is it part of the conversation always? I was a virgin when I got married so I’m legit anxious about this part.

But super excited to experience sex with someone(s) besides my stbxw.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2023-07-22T13:20:41+00:00

No regrets.

I divorced my ex for her lack of loyalty and derisive attitude towards me at the end.

Unlike most of the replies here, I have had zero sex in either mind blowing quality or quantity since. However, the peace in my personal life is unrivaled.

Peace comes before pussy as the dictionary intended.

polarshred · 2023-07-23T09:56:33+00:00

Sex is waaaay better after divorce. Not just the girls. I'm not sure why but i perform way better. Unlimited endurance and I can go more times.

turbospeedsc · 2023-07-21T16:49:11+00:00

You will get much better sex once single, even from you ex eventually.

I had a pornstar like sex life with my stbx, for real, squirt, anal, facefucks, black kiss, rimming anything you can picture, it was a regular tuesday, but the rest of my life was hell.

The first 1-2 girls will be the hardest, but once you get going god damn, it's a fuck fest out there.'

My always controversial advice, go get the hottest most expensive escorts you can, at least 2-3, then start looking for regular women.

It will take the pressure off you, you will learn that sex is not this magical thing you have to bend over your life for, you will have sex with 2-3 beautiful 23yo girls.

Important step, do no repeat escorts, you want your brain to know that you can have sex with different women.

capnjackstation · 2023-07-21T22:50:03+00:00

Personally I’ve been drowning myself in the pussy pool since the split. I rarely go more than a few days without and I’m in my 50s. I’ve got 10-12 women ranging from 23- 52 chasing me currently, all casual. I have different things in common with each of them, some are activities, others just want to get off and go. Some are real freaks in bed. Women like sex just as much as we do.

Think of it as spinning plates, spin a few and if one falls off replace it with another. You’ll be fine once you adjust to your new freedom.

ETA: ex and I have kids together. No doubt after everything is finalized and her AP dumps her she come back around. I’ll tap it again, the sex was fantastic, but I won’t commit to it ever again. Fuck that.

upfnothing · 2023-07-21T18:34:24+00:00

You need to hit the gym and read pick up artist books if you think married sex was the best sex you’ll ever have. Here’s a short list sexual experiences I had after marriage that never were part of married sex.

Car head Nutting in her mouth Her swallowing Eating her ass Anal sex Nutting in a woman’s butt Woman squirted on me Hotel sex her hanging out open window Sex wolf of Wall Street high

Crushed_95 · 2023-07-21T20:35:37+00:00

Shid, I just had my second 3 sum post divorce 2 weeks ago, so NO! I do not regret getting a divorce because of sex!

CorneliusCarr · 2023-07-21T17:28:46+00:00

My other worry is. Watching reddit porn and onlyfans. Most women have big labia and "outie" vaginas. My stbxw has this still perfect "innie", it looks fake so perfect it is. Worried I never get such a beautiful vagina and ass again.

I initiated btw, and it is because of major compatibility issues and emotional abuse issues.

Notlikeotherguys · 2023-07-22T15:08:18+00:00

The only problem I had was having to go back to using condoms that killed much of the sensation.

givemechocolat · 2023-07-23T04:07:20+00:00

Probably one of the few benefits is the sex got way better

aibandit · 2023-07-23T07:14:00+00:00

My ex was amazing in bed. I broke up with her because she couldn’t control herself when she was upset and would rage for days yelling screaming in my ear, broke a door once to get to me.
I miss her, she was great most of the time. I miss the sex too, but I don’t regret it. It was destroying me.

fourbridges · 2023-07-24T12:29:18+00:00

sex with my current GF is exponential better

my regret is, i should divorce my ex 6 years before

ThePhunkyPhantom13 · 2023-07-24T14:27:16+00:00

This is going on the presupposition that due to being married makes sex good. I have read many stories about how well the sex with an ex got after divorce.

Girl_Dad42 · 2023-07-24T16:58:29+00:00

Way better after the divorce

Easy-Performance-400 · 2023-07-26T04:44:06+00:00

Separated here, best sex life ever now

Urgot_Busted · 2023-07-21T18:07:17+00:00

Well honestly at this point, the sex is not as important to me as the emotional void left in my marriage.

Title	Anybody ever regret getting divorced because you never got as good sex again?
Author	CorneliusCarr
Upvotes	25
Comments	102
Date	July 21, 2023 3:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/155r7cf/anybody_ever_regret_getting_divorced_because_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anybody-ever-regret-getting-divorced-because-you.1226023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226023

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