Bac together..

FriezaBlack87 · 2024-01-20T03:52:21+00:00

This woman broke your heart, put you through hell, broke up your home, probably took primary custody of your child, and you’re considering getting back with her!?

Some of you so called men on this sub are the biggest pussies on Earth.

Weird_Salad1981 · 2024-01-19T23:06:45+00:00

Look im at the beginning of a divorce from a person I adore. I want nothing more then to have her back. That being said it should for sure be from a healthy place.

xjeeperx · 2024-01-18T23:39:48+00:00

Worked out so well the first time you wanna go back for seconds?

occoptionplaya · 2024-01-18T21:26:24+00:00

Do not do it. You divorced for a very good reason, remember that. Also remember that people don't change. You'll likely find out that your attempt #2 is a repeat of all the bullshit that was in marriage #1. Fuck her, hang out with her, but do not marry her. There's a gazillion other available women out there, we live in an abundant world.

Traditional_Snow_209 · 2024-01-18T17:23:38+00:00

Its all love brother i understand. But hey if yall divorced and she got something maybe whatever she got coming to an end and toxic ppl love repeating the same process. Just be careful avoid marriage for a couple years with her and if you feel as though she changed give it another go.mosf Women go through identity crisis hard and switch every few years.

Far_Excitement_4835 · 2024-01-18T12:56:23+00:00

If you get back together she may not respect you and since she has done it before and you took her back what's stopping her from leaving again

If you don't then ryou run the risk of her putting your child against you.

Personally i wouldn't. There is no need to be rude about it. Simply and kindly explaining your position, but you still run the same risk. How do i know. Because i am talking from experience.

People don't leave the people they love, they leave the people they were using.

Good luck

West-Start659 · 2024-01-18T08:23:04+00:00

Dont do it, my x cried to me saying she missed me and that she saw how different i was and how much i was like the man she first met, my response was you wanted that man you met to change then threw him away, and now that hes himself again you want a do over? I said she had her opportunity and messed it up, took vows and broke them, and that I’ve moved on and wasn’t interested in going in reverse. After that i was the “asshole” meh ill take that over the bull she put me through anyday. Know your worth bro it will never be the same again

justme4556 · 2024-01-18T05:45:39+00:00

From someone who did it twice. Yes two times. DON'T DO IT!!! It's not worth it! Go overseas and blow off steam. Just don't get back together with her.

Intrepid_Raisin6446 · 2024-01-18T04:55:44+00:00

Personally I’m not the one a woman can touch again after she’s had sexual contact with another man. To each it’s own though.

Typical-Ladder-1608 · 2024-01-18T04:37:02+00:00

if you looking for R, get a back up plan to avoid the same thing happen. She already dried your financially once. Get a post nup bro.

roseswiththorns1 · 2024-01-18T04:32:41+00:00

Get back together and sit down and go over what the issues were and how you can be better this time around

whereami113 · 2024-01-18T03:23:22+00:00

Bad idea... very bad idea...ahe has realised how good she had it. She will never respect you if you bend over and take it in the rear by allowing her back into your life.

Move on , live your best life for you.

probebeta · 2024-01-18T03:14:40+00:00

No way dude. That's a really bad idea. But this is just my opinion.

roman_erudite · 2024-01-18T03:00:26+00:00

Mine showed me her true color I'd rather cut an arm and give up the half I got than take her back. I paid the ransom to finally be free and she's someone else's problem now.

She left you once. That's an absolute no. Betrayal can never be forgotten. She vowed to stay till death do us apart, througg sickness and health, forsake all others, etc etc. And didn't. Then never. In a family, it's about the family not your happiness. You break it, it's over. Period. No second chances.

notyourmama827 · 2024-01-18T01:26:24+00:00

Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-01-18T01:13:18+00:00

Let her die on bunker hill

yosemitesam00 · 2024-01-18T00:12:20+00:00

My advice, don't complicate your life. I've been stuck in family law hell for three years and I would do anything to make it end. Enjoy your peace of mind, your ex sounds like nothing but trouble.

Backyardbaby67 · 2024-01-17T22:04:45+00:00

shakes head

…I’m astonished at how most of you here love complicating your lives…

Fatbatman1281 · 2024-01-17T20:32:52+00:00

So you want to get back with the woman that made your divorce hell, that doesn’t even value marriage with then next guy after you? 😂😂😂😂 Man some of you guys are pathetically weak.

DCnative2020 · 2024-01-17T20:13:29+00:00

please whatever you do don't take her back.

she has def slept with one guy (her husband) but I am willing to bet its probably closer to 10 if she is a cheater or there was time in between when she left you and met the new husband.

don't be a second option. she realized the grass is not greener. now she comes running back to you. tell her to go find someone else to bother

Basic_Advance7627 · 2024-01-17T19:57:51+00:00

Big question…. Did she cheat on you with him or someone else?

Careless_Payment9298 · 2024-01-17T19:50:38+00:00

My ex did this. We got back together long enough for her to save enough money to plan a better exit strategy than the first round. If you take her back, plan on restarting the trauma and healing soon.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-01-17T19:49:32+00:00

My divorce ended amicably she didn’t take nothing from me but I would never get back with her even if she asked me

slamdunktiger86 · 2024-01-17T19:11:27+00:00

Hell no. Your trauma bomb is talking. Do not do it.

Just reread your own text. The divorce process was horrible.

She’s had copious amounts of random D since you split and she is sad to have been pumped and dumped. Life is now hard and she wants easy mode again while continuing to cheat.

Hell to the no.

Stay strong. Set an example to your kid.

Look forward. Not backward.

Efficient_Gap_8383 · 2024-01-17T19:10:05+00:00

I must be the slowest moving person on the planet - split 5 years ago, my choice but I still haven’t fully let go - some people get remarried and have a whole new family in that time !!!

As for you - don’t rush back - it will prob end the same way as the same problems will b there - as you’ve seen, people don’t change and your child will b dragged thru it all again - best of luck

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2024-01-17T19:05:55+00:00

Well, my situation was a bit similar but, our divorce wasn’t horrible bcs she could’ve really destroyed me and she didn’t. She did ask for certain things and I gave it to her . Judge signed and done and gave her 3 months to leave my house bcs I cashed her out but she kept on delaying her departure. We have two kids together and our divorce wasn’t bcs of cheating, it was bcs of her stupidity and thinking that she would live an imaginary lifestyle traveling etc. everything cost money and you have to have lots if them on order to live a certain lifestyle and even if u have lots of money, u don’t just spend like there’s no tomorrow. Anyway, she has changed her mind and regrets everything she did. She never left but we are legally not married and she pays bills living with us. She wanted to give back what she did and be married again, but I refused bcs I don’t know if I can trust her again not asking for divorce. So, we have made the decision to raise our daughters together, to not be married and have our separate finances, to file taxes separately not as married couples, and it’s working out for us. My family disagree with this but I don’t care Bcs we’re doing this for our kids plus now we’re like a Girlfriend boyfriend relationship if one of us decides to leave the door is open but in this case she has to bcs I own my house. Where we live, Common law practice is not recognized if the law changes regarding this, I will have to tell her to get her a place otherwise it’s working out. So I say do whatever works for you and don’t listen to ur surroundings.

let_me_grieve · 2024-01-17T18:20:48+00:00

There’s a lot to consider in terms of your past relationship with her, her having remarried, and the child. I think only you are going to know what the right move is here but I would take it slow. Maybe spend some strictly platonic time together to see if you are both in the right headspace.

investthrowaway000 · 2024-01-17T18:19:03+00:00

I'd probably look at this situation if she had been dating, maybe had a boyfriend, but she's married now. She's come to realize that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

I'm in a similar situation. I wish so much that me, my ex wife, and our son could be a family again, but she came to the decision that she didn't love me anymore and that her life would be better off without me in it.

Think about it that way.

Obviously I'm just some random guy on the internet and not in your shoes, but I'd be very careful if I were you. I've heard plenty of success stories of people divorcing then getting back together and it being better than ever...and I've also heard even more of horrible failures, 2nd divorces, etc.

lifeisallihave · 2024-01-17T18:10:39+00:00

What happens to the other guy she's currently married to? Does she have any kids with him? This all sounds like a huge mess you don't want to put yourself and your daughter through again. The grass wasn't greener on the other side after all. You are a grown man make a decision and stick with it. I'll take peace of mind any day of the week. Also have some self respect.

KCWilli182 · 2024-01-17T18:07:50+00:00

Recreational use only buddy

joemoorcarz · 2024-01-17T18:07:40+00:00

Is she still married? I wouldn't be able to take her back knowing she committed to and gave herself to another man. It seems she takes commitment to lightly.

Unhappy-Nail-9281 · 2024-01-17T17:48:53+00:00

Has she done any personal therapy? Have you both done any couples therapy? Until both of these things happen (her working on herself first) I wouldn’t even entertain the conversation of getting married again.

Doubledolla · 2024-01-17T17:39:17+00:00

Dude she's looking for an out and you're her only hope. Not a chance man. She's already looking for her next victim again before she's done with the last failed shit show. She's showing you who she is. You'd be in the same situation if you let her back into your life again. Save yourself the time and emotion turmoil the children would also go through and pass on that offer........ if she settled things up and finalized the divorce with the ex,had her own place, LOTS of counseling, and after a few years.....Maybe. But realistically that would never happen and she's just looking for a place and person to branch off to without dealing with HER issues. Just don't. No is the answer. Don't do it.

wisstinks4 · 2024-01-17T17:16:07+00:00

Ask why a lot. Better be really really good answers about your magic wizzard skills; dancing fingers, wild tongue, powerful hips, rock solid body, etc.

Otherwise, “Na, I’m good. You go do you. I found peace and quiet without your toxic vibes. Happy New Year.”

warwww · 2024-01-17T17:03:39+00:00

So she broke her vows twice. Interesting.

3rd times the charm?

jimsmythee · 2024-01-17T16:58:53+00:00

"Run Forrest Run!"

She only wants back with you because her remarriage is failing. She needs someone to fall back on, and someone to pay her bills and to be her freebie therapist.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-01-17T16:38:02+00:00

She married you and took vows,divorced you, took the same vows with a new guy and is now bailing on him.

This woman is chaos. Do not touch.

captainchippsixx · 2024-01-17T16:26:18+00:00

Your crazy. It’s not the child. Women in marriage, when challenges present the marriage, they turn on you. She has shown you that’s what she will do. Many many women do this. Husband gets ill, leave him, husband loses job, leave him, husband is grieving parents loss, leave him etc etc etc.

If you’re stupid enough to do this Legal document signed no rights to your assets even if reaches common law years, no marriage, not on any of your finances, or your property. 100% separate.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-01-17T16:21:42+00:00

So she’s remarried in that time ? That’s mental ! 😅 I’m a romantic but please move slow if you choose this. Please also don’t become an affair partner ?? Has she left her current husband

Throw_Her_Away123 · 2024-01-17T16:16:06+00:00

That’s wild. Why does she say she now wants you back? What was trigger for the divorce in the first place?

Might be major self sabotage to open that wound back up after three years…

Title	Bac together..
Author	Cheap_Baseball3609
Upvotes	20
Comments	114
Date	January 17, 2024 4:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/19905yf/bac_together/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/bac-together.1243228 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243228

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