Bruh

Heather619 · 2021-08-24T18:23:59+00:00

What the hell is he eating? He's either having constant diarrhea or he's a compulsive masturbator. If it's the first one, homeboy needs to invest in a bidet.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-08-24T16:56:56+00:00

Poopy pants should buy his own tp and move out

CelebrationKey · 2021-08-24T19:03:27+00:00

My ex husband was even worse than this. 1 roll per bowl movement. He destroyed our septic tank and toilet so he had to start putting the wads of tp in his own special trashcan. ...to get to the point he said he used so much tp because he was afraid of touching his own butthole, his finger might poke through the paper and it would be gay, dirty, shameful, so on.
Edit: I tried baby wipes, and disposable gloves, toilet paper was cheaper in the end. lol what a circus

_mooness · 2021-08-24T17:20:16+00:00

He’s jerking off to porn in the bathroom.

She_Cloaks_the_World · 2021-08-24T17:21:14+00:00

Is she dating my former flatmates ex? Because he did exactly the same thing. Everytime he was there we were down a roll of TP per day. I still don't know what he did with it.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-08-24T16:04:38+00:00

He’s probably jerking it 24/7. Hence the defensive anger. That’s the best case scenario.

The worst is he’s disposing of the tp and actively gaslighting her. Based on some of the shit I’ve seen on Reddit (slug guy, anyone?) sadly I can’t put it past him.

The slug guy for the curious.

queenagave · 2021-08-24T18:24:31+00:00

Wait what...? I'm so confused by this.

Side note: GET. A. BIDET. ATTACHMENT. Seriously life changing.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2021-08-24T19:47:57+00:00

I told my ex that he made enough money to afford good quality toilet paper instead of the half-ply he had. He said he used too much of it to get the good stuff???!! Though he ended up switching to a much softer brand after I said that.

On another maybe related note....when we were together, my toilet started having weird flushing issues where it wouldn't flush every other time. This hasn't happened since we broke up and he hasn't been coming over anymore!!! Wtf was he doing in there!

chingness · 2021-08-24T16:43:58+00:00

Why is she even entertaining this?!

catlady4u · 2021-08-24T16:29:19+00:00

Make him buy his own damn toilet paper. Better yet, dump him, his attitude sucks.

Wild_Artio · 2021-08-24T17:32:46+00:00

Hahahahahah holy shit. Yeah he’s jerking it, a lot. And… possibly cheating? Pull out method.

Either way… why is she arguing with a grown man and buying him baby wipes… is he a toddler? She should keep the toilet paper she buys hidden for her butt and let him face the consequences of no toilet paper until he can buy that shit himself. I don’t gaf if it’s petty, he needs to face consequences, she doesn’t need to be shit covered just bc he is 💯 full of it.

GlitterLoveAngel · 2021-08-24T17:01:06+00:00

For the love of god please stop wasting your hard earned cash on a man who obviously doesn’t respect or even care about you. It sucks that men using women for money has become normalized and male gold diggers are accepted. If the genders were reversed, you can expect that op wouldn’t have been as kind and Reddit would be calling her abusive and toxic. So why is it any different and okay when a man does it?

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-08-24T16:29:08+00:00

Surely he'd be clogging up the toilet too with that much toilet paper per day 😐

Risoa · 2021-08-24T19:14:02+00:00

Come on sis. Shitting isn't the only thing he's doing i there.

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-08-24T16:00:22+00:00

For two bowel movements a day and he is using a whole roll??? Leave him. He doesn't know how to wipe his ass. There are probably problems elsewhere, too.

Edit: How are their pipes not clogged daily? Regardless of wipes or TP, toilets can only take so much. So that means he is wasting water, too, with the amount he uses. IF it is not a toilet but another system, this man still needs to seek help.

Papaverinum · 2021-08-24T15:53:32+00:00

Sis, throw the whole dude away

aquietsword · 2021-08-24T20:13:29+00:00

How do women not get the ick after dealing with shit like this??

Austenma · 2021-08-24T21:28:42+00:00

I have severe IBS but I don't make my condition another person's expense

seawitchbitch · 2021-08-24T22:31:46+00:00

Had an ex like this. Untreated/unmanaged IBS and a six pack of beer a day was the culprit. In the end, I hid my toilet paper in another room. Don’t miss those days.

poppinkitty · 2021-08-24T15:49:32+00:00

Why doesn't he buy the toilet paper. He's human form of puke. Even though I'm no stranger to men's depravity bit I still get shock whenever I read stuff like that. Like how could they? How could they not have basic manners? 🤡

foxorhedgehog · 2021-08-24T20:33:43+00:00

Well least he wipes his ass /s.

Platipus6 · 2021-08-24T22:15:44+00:00

Is she dating my ex? He was so afraid of poop that he'd wrap 20 sheets around his hand like a mitten to gingerly dab his butthole.

And then leave streaks all down the bowl.

echo-bean · 2021-08-24T21:43:15+00:00

Wow, I never actually considered this as a thing that could happen. My ex would have frequent 40+ minute bathroom visits all of the time but I never noticed a TP difference.

Side note: My husband sits down to pee most of the time and I really don't understand why more men don't (exception for mornings sometimes). I noticed that the bottom of the toilet never had more than a small bit of dust on it and that all the nasty grime I was used to seeing so long ago was most likely a direct result of men being gross and I thought it was just normal bathroom things 🤮

CantoErgoSum · 2021-08-24T16:54:03+00:00

Flush him. What a creep. What does he need with a whole roll of TP for 1-2 daily poops? And then to get mad about it? He can buy his own damn toilet paper like an adult.

PicoPicoMio · 2021-08-24T18:42:03+00:00

This shitty man needs to learn about a handheld bidet.

HumanAdhesiveness360 · 2021-08-24T20:32:24+00:00

WhAt Do I Do???

s_slayer · 2021-08-25T00:43:18+00:00

Alcoholism can cause terrible poops and if a guy has a hairy butt and drinks a lot it's possible. I can't imagine jerking it to porn that much. Seems so life wasting and depleting. I'm going with alcohol and hairy butt lol.

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-08-25T02:38:03+00:00

hell no... I don't think I can ever live with another man. Absolutely need to have my own place

OnlyPaperListens · 2021-08-25T03:57:11+00:00

I know this type. Dumpy, pretends to eternally be on a keto diet, but is actually eating piles of wings and cheesesteaks every day. Can't recall the last time a green plant passed his lips. Can't figure out why his ass keeps streaking the TP like he's clenching a marker in there.

arnezuara · 2021-08-24T15:51:46+00:00

Sounds like he’s trying to compromise her financial situation. What a piece of shit.

daisy_0720 · 2021-08-25T05:26:06+00:00

Just when you're starting to feel wistful about being single, read this post and remind yourself that not living with a man is utter, utter bliss.

Technusgirl · 2021-08-24T15:58:15+00:00

Get a bidet, problem solved

Much-data-wow · 2021-08-24T16:13:23+00:00

Get a bidet.

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2021-08-24T23:44:11+00:00

He’s doing what with KIRKLAND toilet paper???Nope, he needs to move and possibly see a doctor.

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-08-25T01:37:07+00:00

Horrifying

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-08-24T18:03:02+00:00

I'm sort of disturbed she keeps track of how many times a day he goes to the bathroom and what he does in there. Is he a toddler? A puppy? That's weird to track someone's pooping habits.

And...why can't he just buy toilet paper for the house? Presumably he purchased toilet paper before he moved in with her, so he knows how to find it?

This is so weird and messed up. What a way to live. Arguing with your boyfriend about how many times a day he wipes his ass. Critiquing his wiping technique. Rationing rolls of toilet paper. Who needs that stress in their life?

And I agree, he's probably jerking off or has a bad diet and is embarrassed. She should make him see a doctor or move out.

moistsecretions2021 · 2021-08-24T17:16:14+00:00

It's likely a dietary problem. My body didn't digest dairy, beef, or soy well. It caused incontinence and made it so that no matter how much I wiped there was always more.

My first remedy, flushable wipes. Then I slowly weeded out the products causing this. And I clean out my system with a laxative once a week. I also stopped drinking alcohol and eating fast food regularly.

Ofcourse he is defensive it's fucking embarrassing.

Get him some preparation H and a cleaner diet.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-08-25T05:24:45+00:00

Why is she financing his ass wiping 😂 seriously if it runs out what does he do? Wait until she buys more rolls?

t3ddi · 2021-08-25T13:44:43+00:00

Another less likely but still technically possible explanation... bulemia. It gets messy.

CityOfBirth · 2021-08-25T18:27:12+00:00

Tell him to buy a fucking bidet lmao

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-08-25T04:08:15+00:00

I don’t even use a full roll a day when I’m heavily bleeding and having diarrhea on the early, worst days of my period. (I get close to it though.) These men are ridiculous and have no excuse.

Title	Bruh
Author	sozwrongrobi
Upvotes	806
Comments	92
Date	August 24, 2021 3:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/papwop/bruh/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/bruh.1060136 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060136

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