Don't learn the hard way, ladies. 🤦🏻‍♀️

ewoksareprettycool · 2020-07-23T02:53:40+00:00

Hahaha I was in this photo and I don’t like it

peaka25 · 2020-07-23T02:57:46+00:00

Absolutely. Took me way too long to realize this. Either Googling or texting a friend/mom/family member to figure out what he meant, what he's doing, why he hasn't texted, etc. Always, always, always a bad sign.

indaazz1 · 2020-07-23T07:22:39+00:00

Things I have googled because of men:

avoidant personality disorder
narcissistic personality disorder
schizoid
sociopathy/psychopathy
mbti: intj (basically the introverted asshole type)
tsundere/yandere
zodiac signs

Legit I have never been as well versed in psychology than when I am with a toxic man trying to understand their behaviors and make excuses for them. Jfc never again.

Peace is so underrated but is EVERYTHING.

Edited: added more as I remembered🤡😭

typeadhd · 2020-07-23T02:36:42+00:00

Soooo true this is another way we try to excuse and understand poor behaviours

I remember thinking like clearly this behaviour means he has aspergers or he has trauma from his past relationship

Like I’m out here getting a PhD in this man to try to understand some bad behaviours.

Never 👏again👏

May-rah10 · 2020-07-23T03:51:07+00:00

Googling a man’s behavior is how I discovered FDS! So in a way, I’m glad I did it because I would have never found this amazing sub had I not googled his LVM behavior....now, I don’t google anything that has to do with trying to understand the male “mind.” 😂

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-23T02:48:28+00:00

Yessss!

Googling = trying to rationalize your gut feelings away

Verysoftbun · 2020-07-23T04:58:46+00:00

God. I got addicted to googling so I could figure out how to act to make him not garbage.

The answer was to throw the trash away

cinderella_rising · 2020-07-23T02:07:58+00:00

Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Burned it after FDS. I can’t believe I was actually excited when I figured out the diagnoses of the last two. 🤦‍♀️

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-07-23T04:41:53+00:00

😂😂👏🏼ok calling me out. I google it for reassurance of what I already know 😅

We are so brainwashed to doubt our intuition.

rainbowshummingbird · 2020-07-23T05:09:26+00:00

Yes, this hits home in a brutal way. Starting googling some of my boyfriend’s most confounding behaviors, had to find out via Google that he was a narc. Grrrr, oh well, at least I did figure it out.

Quicklyquigly · 2020-07-23T03:08:52+00:00

I remember googling their sign to grasp at straws for their behavior! Doing “research” like ohhhh he’s a Pisces that explains his tantrums. How embarrassing!

starsheepie · 2020-07-23T01:59:47+00:00

This is the first time I've heard this and I'm spreading it to all the other women in my life rn. Literally every single one of us has done this shit at some point. Thank you OP

sjw__7 · 2020-07-23T06:24:34+00:00

This was made for me! Googling to see what it was and whether it could be ‘fixed’ maybe if I just tried hard enough.

I found out that ‘it’ was Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Thankfully the advice was no, it definitely can’t be fixed and to block, delete and go no contact. Which I did and never looked back. And was probably the first step toward FDS. And googling is also how I found FDS!

But never again googling men’s behaviour. Just regularly checking in on this sub to make sure I keep this Queen wisdom front of mind at all times!

imyoursoulmate · 2020-07-23T10:50:49+00:00

I was literally googling “is cocaine addictive” and trying to see if it could be used moderately. It’s funny how you’ll do anything to justify someone’s actions just to stay in a relationship with them.

to_learn_to_fly · 2020-07-23T09:06:31+00:00

The moment you find yourself taking an online quiz "Is my partner narcissistic/toxic?", he definitely is LOL.

intrepidis_dux · 2020-07-23T03:12:11+00:00

That is actually a really good point.

anjalfish · 2020-07-23T11:57:22+00:00

girrrl i was googling and sending him links to articles as well- like um hey would you like to read through this extensive breakdown that explains why you're treating me like crap?

never did. noped outta there quick.

RainyBobbins · 2020-07-23T02:20:35+00:00

Wow. Never thought of this!

poopoola · 2020-07-23T03:39:08+00:00

Goddamnit! Shit.

coinintine · 2020-07-23T08:22:38+00:00

[deleted]

Not_a_throwaway_acnt · 2020-07-23T04:29:22+00:00

Oooh that really hits for me.

TheOuts1der · 2020-07-23T05:13:52+00:00

Oh fuck. Why you gotta call me out like this.

loudest_gusset · 2020-07-23T08:28:27+00:00

What does it mean when I google my own behavior??? 😂

she_is_munchkins · 2020-07-23T13:26:30+00:00

Lol I realised this with after my ex. Nobody is meant to be that complicated that you need to do thesis level research to understand them 😂

SunflowerinVirgo0903 · 2020-07-23T05:20:14+00:00

I feel attacked 😂😂😂

lskfjd743 · 2020-07-23T12:33:42+00:00

Although, to be fair, I strongly believe that googling a man has a place in the vetting process. I have been able to pick up some red flags (ie DUI convictions, failure to pay child support exct,; suspension/revocation of professional licences) that would not have been readily apparent.

ginnnnie · 2020-07-23T11:40:57+00:00

So true. It should not be that hard.. if it is something isn’t right.

socalqueenofcheese · 2020-07-23T14:19:50+00:00

This sub is changing the world one post at a time. ❤

certifiedcatfish · 2020-07-23T12:48:15+00:00

By Googling a guy's behaviour I found this sub, so I'm actually glad I did Goolge it!

2020-07-23T14:01:34+00:00

So much this. It’s not you being paranoid. It’s them showing warning signs. Don’t second guess yourselves.

_idk_usernames · 2020-07-23T09:28:07+00:00

Learned this one the hard away

any_other_business · 2020-07-23T12:47:01+00:00

Ah shit.

JesusisKingisLord · 2020-07-23T12:54:11+00:00

Moooooooooooood

joeyjoeyboboey · 2020-07-23T09:36:41+00:00

What’s it mean if I’m out here trying to google my own behavior?

lskfjd743 · 2020-07-23T12:16:59+00:00

And I learned this the hard way....

sunkissed_orange · 2020-07-23T14:28:37+00:00

Yikeeeesss I FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE THAT IM IN THIS POST 😭😂😂

greenetea63 · 2020-07-23T15:52:56+00:00

I’m. Screaming 👁👄👁

throwmeawayafter00 · 2020-07-23T18:40:11+00:00

Damn, that hits deep

Chonkygrill · 2020-07-23T18:55:04+00:00

He did ask me to Google his behaviour once cus even he didn't get it

s_slayer · 2020-07-23T19:29:24+00:00

Or buying a bunch of books, dear lord I have around 6-7 books I bought trying to understand my ex while we were off and on for years. I thought I could fix him, or myself, and blamed myself for his shitty behavior. One was about emotionally unavailable men, another about walking on eggshell around men with ADHD, I tried every angle and approach to figuring him out. I really feel sorry for all the time I wasted but now I'm with an amazing man who truly treats me like a queen and knows how to communicate fully like a normal, caring adult. I will never have to google or read anything to try to figure him out.

BetterToBeLonely · 2020-07-24T04:00:41+00:00

This was me. Googling if he was an alcoholic and how to deal with it. He is. And I shouldn't have to. Ugh.

mariacarmen15 · 2020-07-23T13:03:16+00:00

I can totally agree. I would always make things up like childhood drama and pointless mental health issues to justify my ex behaviour. Turns out it was just a way for my mind to refuse to accept that he was just immature and a toxic person

Title	Don't learn the hard way, ladies. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Author	starsheepie
Upvotes	1461
Comments	90
Date	July 23, 2020 1:49 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hw6yk6/dont_learn_the_hard_way_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-learn-the-hard-way-ladies.715764 https://theredarchive.com/post/715764

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