So I went on my first real date since my breakup 8 months ago. It was going fine, but he established some clear red flags. In retrospect, I realize that I could have put myself in a very compromising position if it weren't for the things I learned from FDS.

First and foremost, one of his leading questions was "What do you think about OnlyFans?" I was SO taken aback! I was literally thinking, does this guy think I have an OnlyFans. Nothing about my OLD profile suggests it... but yeah. I told him I don't think much of it cause I didn't want things to get weird or negative. I was just trying to have a good time. He argued that he thought that was an appropriate question in 2022 and that he doesn't have one. Yeah by then, I pretty much knew I wasn't talking to him again. He basically asked me if I was a modern day prostitute from the jump. He brought up OnlyFans a few more times within the date. Creep.

He also kept asking me where I live. I explained that I had to move once because an ex knew where I lived and kept stalking me. We are both from a big city and the question became awkward to dodge at one point. I pointed to the general neighborhood. Pre-FDS me would have probably given him my address cause I was an idiot.

Later in the date, he started asking me what my biggest insecurities were. I learned from ya'll this is what men do to neg you. He acted like I was weird for not having an immediate response. Most of his questions were negative like this except for "what's your favorite color" lmao.

Then we got food. Literally as we sat down, he says "I pay for drinks, you pay for food. It's only fair." And that was that.

At one point he said "I just feel like you don't know how beautiful you are." And I said "No, I know. Thanks though." And he seemed genuinely offended lmfao. I was literally sitting in front of a mirror and I looked like a snack bro. Why are you getting mad that I know my beauty?

He asked what I feel about "conflict resolution" claiming that his ex was a narcissist that would fight with him all the time. I said I'm not one to lose my temper. He noticeably seemed happy at this response and asked if I was the "agreeable type". I said I don't fight much because I don't believe in talking things out if they're a deal breaker. I'd just end things. He later told me that I come off as too honest and kind of mean. Like I've been hurt. No bro I just don't want a toxic relationship... And I'm not just going to agree with anything you say. All the questions were basically suggesting to me that he had more red flags he wanted to reveal in the future. He seemed genuinely intrigued by my demeaner like I was some kind of puzzle. I think I was the first woman he's dated that wasn't falling for his bullshit and had boundaries/standards.

We eventually decided to end the night at a speakeasy that was closer to where we both lived. He said he'd drive me. It was SO WEIRD because we were like 15 min away from where we both lived and my car was in hourly paid parking, but he like INSISTED even after I told him the spot was a 2 min drive from my place. It was also like 1:30am at this point. I told him nah I'm taking my car and we drove separately. He was obviously trying to separate me from my car so that he could more easily coerce me to going to his place or take me straight home.

At the end of the night, we smoked a bit of weed, which I'm cool with. I knew it wasn't laced or anything cause I showed him where I get mine and he bought it from there. It was a legal establishment. After a bit of smoking, he started telling me he now had to drive me home while trying to kiss me. He claimed I was drunk and high now. I told him again that I'm fine. I was not drunk and the weed did not make me too high to drive (literally down the street). He then claimed that my "obsession" with not showing him (literally someone I had met 3 hours ago) where I live is a red flag. I said that was an interesting observation and drove myself home lmfao.

Anyway, I can see how pre-FDS, I could have ended up in a really bad, and possibly rapey situation. He was extremely adamant on separating me from my car and finding out where I lived, but I maintained my boundaries. When I got home, I felt like I had a good night, but a clear lack of compatibility was there. I only felt okay about it all because I maintained my boundaries. I could see how me 3 years ago would have probably gone home crying from a terrible night just because I didn't maintain my boundaries. Like given how weird and adamant he was about separating me from my car, I wouldn't be surprised if he left me to catch an Uber or walk home alone at 2am for not having sex with him. I would also have felt so uncomfortable right now if he knew where I lived.

EDIT:

This is so funny but after reading your posts saying he's a red pill redditor, I remembered something. He mentioned "Unethical Life Pro Tips" over something... I can't remember. I was like "wait are you on reddit! Red flag!" as a joke. He said he was on reddit and that was one of his fav subs. WHY WOULD YOU ADMIT THAT UNETHICAL LIFE PRO TIPS IS YOUR FAVORITE SUB ON A FIRST DATE?! LMFAO! I mean I follow it too cause it's often funny. I mentioned if he has a sense of humor, Shitty Life Pro Tips is gold. He seemed pretty content with his unethical ones though lmao.

Also, yes I should have left earlier, but I am new to this dating thing. I mentioned a few times in the comments that most of these red flags, I didn't really understand at the time. It was in retrospect a few days later after thinking about the date and letting the dust settle that I realized "oh that was a red flag... and that was a red flag too..." The car thing, at the time, was my biggest indicator that he was a bit off. But he wasn't as pressing about the car thing until the end.

This post isn't saying "I did perfectly on my first date post-breakup!" No I'm saying I was VERY rusty, but knowing the core basic boundaries FDS has taught me, definitely kept me safe and I'm very grateful for that.