Self-proclaimed "nice guys" are not nice guys

MarioWilson122 · 2026-05-15T07:48:39+00:00

A lot of men leaned into the “nice guy” identity because society spent years telling men that being agreeable, emotionally available, and harmless was how you attracted women. So acting like these men invented that script out of nowhere is dishonest.

The problem is that attraction does not work like a reward system. Some men became bitter because they treated niceness like a strategy that was supposed to pay off. That does not mean unattractive men are automatically bad people or that “nice guy” behavior exists in a vacuum.

Muscletov · 2026-05-15T07:29:50+00:00

The "Nice guy" stereotype is a typical symptom of a blue pilled society, where men's romantic/sexual success is linked to their moral virtue and work ethic. Thus an unsuccesful nice guy is always painted as a nefarious asshole, while in reality he's usually simply unattractive. While bad apples exist, the stereotype of "nice guys are actually assholes" is blown way out of proportion and spread in women's spaces in order for them to condemn and reject nice but unattractive men without seeming like shallow liars. Women loathe appearing shallow, self-serving or instinctual in romantic contexts. They are firmly convinced of being the noble, deep, profound, moral, evolved etc. gender.

Ever notice how "nice guys" are always accused of wanting sex only, not relationships? Even here on this sub, certain female posters regularly use crass sexual language to describe "nice guy's" alleged intentions. The reason is simple, men seeking casual sex are widely considered malicious wheras those seeking relationships are not. Thus, to paint him in the worst possible light, the stereotypical "nice guy" must always be accused to be after sex only.

Filmguy000 · 2026-05-15T09:32:02+00:00

I do believe that there are unattractive "nice guys" that aren't truly nice in the sense that they perform to get what they want. But there are many attractive men that do the same. However, women tend to demonstrate extreme cognitive dissonance when judging men's behaviors based on how attractive the men are to them. Many women will tolerate extreme forms of poor conduct from men they find hot or make them feel a certain way. But then the same women will observe an unattractive man have a moment of frustration due to having a bad day and they will get the "ick" and tell themselves that said man isn't a real nice guy.

DietTyrone · 2026-05-15T06:33:39+00:00

Can we finally kill the myth that ugly guys = nice guys?

Sure, as soon as we kill the myth that men's sexual success has anything to do with how "nice" they are first.

Obviously there's plenty of evidence that being nice is not a requirement for men to get laid. So literally what's even the point of debating whose a real nice guy or whatever? Why does it matter if an ugly guy is a real true nice guy or fake nice, when the end result is mostly going to be the same for the guy regardless?

Neverending_Danding · 2026-05-15T10:11:59+00:00

> they aren’t attractive, so they use the 'Nice Guy' label to overcompensate for their looks

Aren't men told all the time that personality matters more than looks?

rejected-again · 2026-05-15T07:02:04+00:00

Is it even a myth at this point? The first thing women and their simps talk about when the topic of niceness comes up is that these guys are not actually nice.

Foreign_Look8668 · 2026-05-15T08:03:14+00:00

What are with these unnuanced labels? Also the self proclaiming isnt as rampant as people say it is. If anything, women are often the ones who are quick to put these men in a box and complain when they don't stay in the place you put them in.

Sometimes y'all act like act men make public announcements of wat they are and say that is all they are ever going to be.

classicslayer · 2026-05-15T17:22:14+00:00

This whole nice guy phenomenon would go away if women didnt try to moralize their dating choices. If I want to date a woman with red flags im not gonna tell myself shes a better person than a girl with green flags I dont desire.

k0unitX · 2026-05-15T06:23:38+00:00

I figured out very early in life that the worse I treat women, the more interested they are in me. Downvote me if you want, I don't care

Hot_Lack_4868 · 2026-05-15T06:34:18+00:00

Women on this sub never post about abusers, cheaters, and violent men and much as they post about nice guys lmao. I'm sure there are bigger red flags than self identifying as a nice guy, but go on. Nice guys are not nice and bad guys are not bad 👍🏻

beautiful_falcon776 · 2026-05-15T07:38:20+00:00

We can all agree women are into bad guys, than nice guys. And nice guys are their favourite punching bag, since they don't have the strength to go after bad guys.

UrusaiNa · 2026-05-15T06:19:53+00:00

Anyone wanna trade "nice guys"? I got you if you got me.

AchingAmy · 2026-05-15T06:42:29+00:00

What if they're calling themselves nice because others called them nice though? I suppose I might have called myself nice a few times before(mostly because others called me that first.) though, you're right in my case that I wasn't a nice guy because I turned out to be a nice woman instead XD

But either way, yeah, I'd be careful with a guy who calls himself nice I suppose. There are some who end up being total douchebags

Vaudeville_Clown · 2026-05-15T08:39:07+00:00

There's another "cost" to this, outside of dating that women seem to struggle with accepting though.

First of all yes, the accomodate-and-placate act guys did was indeed an act, and a bad one at that.

But this fake demeanor was also linked to cow-towing to mainstream opinions, and to be overly diplomatic on sensitive political topics, secretive about what you actually think.

Well, that's changing fast. Note how men are a lot less shy about saying what they think about things like... Migration policy, green energy projects, feminism, crime & punishment, Hollywood messaging and many other subjects? Fuck, I live in Sweden and even around me, at work, what formerly was "unthinkable" to say out loud a decade ago is now outspoken.

And I absolutely think the "nice guys suck" messaging has something to do with social control finally breaking.

I for one am happy with the results.

Are you?

EdwardTheeMasterful · 2026-05-15T11:20:42+00:00

So are self proclaimed assholes not really assholes?

Heavy-Appeal4441 · 2026-05-15T13:55:13+00:00

Absolutely true. So men should stop being nice. Men should stop being kind and helpful. It's a complete race to the bottom.

nightcall379 · 2026-05-15T11:14:32+00:00

Women: -"The reason women aren't attracted to you is because they can detect your toxic personality with their personality detectors"

Men: -"But he he is a nice guy"

Women: -"He's a fake nice guy. He only acts nice, but in reality he has a toxic personality that women can detect with their personality detectors behind the nice guy act."

Men: -"No, he is actually a nice guy"

Women: -"Well, if you think that just being nice makes you entitled to women, it explains why you're single."

Meanwhile male model tier guys get tens of thousands of women each, despite openly admitting they're convicted serial "pea doughs" and "grapists"

Funny how women's personality detectors can detect red pillers, but not guys who will beat the shit out of them Lmao

Or maybe, "personality" doesn't matter at all, and it's all just pretty lies women collectively tell about their nature in order to idealize themselves so they can then manipulate, humiliate, exploit, and abuse men with those lies

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2026-05-15T13:36:07+00:00

"Nice guy" is a buzzword whose meaning can vary depending of which you ask. What is YOUR definition of a nice guy?

Glad-Western5346 · 2026-05-15T17:11:03+00:00

It seems to me that women who write about nice guys think that friendship between two men is all about mutual respect, tenderness, gifts, and selfless help... But that's not true. Male friendship is full of teasing, crude jokes, comments about how bad you are at something, and often, helping someone means expecting something in return. Why do women think any man will be nice to them without wanting to fuck them? How are they any different from men?

silly_discus · 2026-05-15T07:07:41+00:00

Are you being handed your lines or do you really think you came up with this insight

welphellothere01 · 2026-05-15T06:30:42+00:00

Fellas add it to the list.

I remember a group of girls saying a man who drinks coffee from Starbucks is a red flag.

So at this point act disingenuous and disinterested and they come a runin.

Last_Serve_3706 · 2026-05-16T06:08:54+00:00

Seems to be the otherway around. How about people who get called nice but never told they are ugly? Seems to be a label the normies came up with and slaped a label on.

CrispyLinettaa · 2026-05-15T06:47:01+00:00

The guys you are complaining about aren't even nice guys. They just pretended to be and then showed their true colors when things didn't work out. Women just twist the meanings of words to be whatever they feel like. They do the same thing with the term "incel." A guy who becomes an asshole when he was rejected was never a nice guy to begin with.

Rice_and_Beeens · 2026-05-15T14:05:51+00:00

Women are born naughty by nature. It’s a fact. There’s a reason why their relationships with bad boys usually last longer than with a nice guy. On top of that, there’s drama, and women love drama, they LOVE to fight and argue, they will never get that from a nice guy. There’s a reason many married men tell other men ... “don’t get married, it’s not worth it” and there’s a reason why lesbian divorce rates are way high than heterosexual marriages. Women are just MAD MAD CREATURES and they literally can’t stand each other.

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TheKindlyPoltergeist · 2026-05-16T01:12:33+00:00

Guys who are actually nice usually dont have to say they are nice or respectful to women.

tin8374 · 2026-05-17T18:16:08+00:00

The reason a lot of them have to proclaim themselves as "nice" is because womem treat men having never been in a relationship as some sort of moral failing.

OkBug9012 · 2026-05-15T06:20:21+00:00

Yeah I think it’s less about looks and more about mindset. Some people use nice guy as a label for approval and it gets weird fast. But plenty of quiet, genuinely kind guys just never announce it. The label itself is usually the red flag.

Direct-Tower6314 · 2026-05-15T14:15:10+00:00

I've simply never seen any correlation between "nice guys" and niceness compared to any other guy

not that they are never nice though

but it isn't some plotting on their part, it's just how it is

plenty of "Chads" are perfectly nice people,

if anything, they're nicer because they lack the grievances

classicslayer · 2026-05-15T12:05:43+00:00

This has been a talking point for 15 years now you're not saying anything new. Women hate nice guys because subconsciously they feel that a nice guy isnt gonna do whats necessary for her benefit when comes to stepping on other people's toes.

Ok-Acanthaceae357 · 2026-05-31T10:45:52+00:00

Yep! 100% "Just try the nice guy" who is even more of an asshole PLUS he's not hot. Just get with the hot guy.

AnnonymousXXX · 2026-07-27T22:57:34+00:00

Nobody ever self-identifies as a "nice guy" anymore. Women label people that.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-05-15T06:34:38+00:00

I think they really mean guys without a backbone. Yes, that's unattractive.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-05-15T15:28:32+00:00

That's a no true scotsman argument. You can only tell if they are nice or not if you have an independent definition. And you don't have any definition in the post at all, so what is there to argue about?

Also, society mostly agrees that self-proclaimed women are women. So why wouldn't nice guys be nice guys?

MissMenace101 · 2026-05-15T07:12:12+00:00

Many a tale about women choosing the “nice guy” and it ending in woe. The issue lies with men thinking the “nice guy” is a nice guy even after he rapes and beats women

Glad-Western5346 · 2026-05-15T08:52:53+00:00

Real good guys simply can't exist in this galaxy. A good guy respects a girl regardless of her sexual appearance and genuinely tries to help her. Do you even know that unconditional love doesn't exist? Anyone who wants to help you gets something out of it. Even altruism is selfish. All men want to fuck women, spank them, and touch them. If they don't want that, they're gay or impotent. Which means they don't care about you.

BeginningSeaweed1290 · 2026-05-15T08:14:29+00:00

Nice guys = fake . Women know men are perverts & love porn & are aggressive and violent so I dont get why men put on a false persona, it isnt attractive.

“Nice guys” usually WANT something from a girl which is why theyre being nice. If you are nice because you want something from someone thats just manipulation.

That being said. Masculinity & confidence is hot dont let people tell you otherwise. And women love and accept men for who they are.

Title	Self-proclaimed "nice guys" are not nice guys
Author	Lana_Sphyncter
Upvotes	0
Comments	282
Date	May 15, 2026 6:16 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tdnpne/selfproclaimed_nice_guys_are_not_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/self-proclaimed-nice-guys-are-not-nice-guys.1580458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580458

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