Does the "double standard" in promiscuity conclude, intentionally or not, that men are gross and disgusting & women are beautiful and desirable?

Bitter_Emu6366 · 2024-07-22T20:41:16+00:00

Yes it's why male bisexuality is disliked more than female bisexuality

Jumpy-Comfort-1858 · 2024-07-22T16:49:09+00:00

It proves that women's sexuality is far more valuable than men's, as nature intended. That's all.

As another commenter already wrote, women see men's sexuality as predatory. I'd say it only applies to the men that don't turn them on, which is the vast majority anyway.

sprckets21 · 2024-07-22T16:31:48+00:00

I think your argument holds water, it’s a least a cause and effect of how we view promiscuity and threesomes between genders.

Women get the award for being more pure because by default if she’s a 7+ she’d could sleep with the entire world, but usually doesn’t. When a man can sleep with the entire world easily like women, a lot of time he does hundreds of women.

So by this common knowledge logic, men when they can be are usually gross sluts, and women usually aren’t. When women get known for doing too many guys it’s usually with a bunch of slutty guys, so she is degraded by gross men.

TapZealousideal5974 · 2024-07-22T15:55:38+00:00

You're absolutely onto something OP. Sexual competition poisons not just sexuality itself, but the relationship between men generally. Men are ready to push each other under the proverbial bus for preferential access to the golden V, and this appears to be deeply instinctual and hard to overcome, with only very close kin not having a baseline level of animosity towards one another. It's why you weren't allowed to bring women (or cute boys lmao) on Royal Navy vessels in the old days.

I'd almost go so far as to say that xenophobia and racism is overall largely motivated by sexual competition. It's not a coincidence that They're molesting/raping our women! is the go-to accusation of the men anywhere to foreigners. An influx of women almost never provokes the same response, definitely not from men regardless of how chuddy and far-right they are, and not even from women despite occasional jibes about mail-order brides and sexpats, because women are happier sharing Chads than men are sharing... anything.

Men complain about women seeking to control and dominate them, but in practice it's mostly other men doing the actual work of fettering one another, whether in general, or when it comes to the opposite sex in particular.

Take the You're not even allowed to cold-approach anymore thing. It's kinda true, and women are definitely the ones making viral TikToks and complaining the most about that shit (let's leave aside the point that women weren't ever necessarily very thrilled to be approached by strange men on the street or while going about their business for the most part) , but if men weren't such massive white knights themselves, what women think and want just wouldn't matter that much, because women physically don't have the power to enforce their will on men. They have to get men to do it for them; Is this guy bothering you?, he doesn't treat you right, and men willingly do, because they feel it gives them a teeny-tiny better chance of being accepted by society, and ultimately getting to place their hard peenies into that nice warm hole.

Bewpadewp · 2024-07-22T22:39:30+00:00

Men are not valued at all and are actively treated like trash. This isn't news.

Society actively views normal men as inherently subhuman, and treats them as lesser by default.

On the other hand, women are born with inherent value.

Women are taught to find a man good enough for them, and that they don't need to change for anyone because they're perfect the way they are. Men are taught to make themselves good enough for a woman, and that they inherently are flawed and only valuable when actively contributing and self-improving.

Men are absolutely never praised for just being themselves. Women are celebrated for being themselves.

Clear-Poet-9212 · 2024-07-22T15:32:58+00:00

Heterosexual men and all women are sexually disgusted by men. Women find male sexuality as predatory. Only really gay men desire male sexual interest.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-07-22T15:27:15+00:00

The same "double standard" applies to inexperience. Are women who virgin shame men doing a self own?

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-22T15:24:21+00:00

Yes, I think there's a bit of a self-own in there, but in a long-con sort of way. As in, it is a part of the water they're swimming in that so often explains why certain men are struggling with relationships. But also, no, I think the idea is that women are objects and men are agents. And agency is a dirty business. The reason women are seen in the way you outline is that there's this somewhat pervasive idea that women aren't choosing the man or choosing the sex, they're just wide eyed innocents laying around taking it from whatever man can solve the sphinx's riddle.
No, I do not think any man who slut shames has ever benefitted himself. In fact, trying to count the ways a man is damaging himself with slut shaming is often hilarious to try to do. I think a lot of the men who get so upset about a woman not showing initiative sexually or not being sexually adventurous would drown themselves upon realizing that it's quite likely the woman behaving like this is attempting to avoid being considered slutty. Men want a dichotomy of her being a good girl in public, but a slut at home, not realizing that the way men have talked about sluts has permanently made the idea of being one a horror most women avoid actively at all times. When you demonize sluts, you're inadvertently demonizing the role you hope the woman you choose will play for you.
It's kind of hard to say, honestly. On a gut level, I think being promiscuous in general is gross and disgusting. (That's just me, I'm not ascribing all people feel this). I don't think it's somehow better or worse when men or women do it. I think on a gut level I do feel averse and grossed out by the idea of sex with most men. It has mostly stood to experience that most of the women around me feel that way. Oppositely, most of the men I know seem to treat the idea of sex with most women as mostly a net positive. So if this idea is meant to capture this distinction, I clearly kind of agree with it. But, on the other hand, I don't generally think a man having sex with a woman who does desire him is some pure cleaning experience. Nor do I think a woman having sex with a man she desires is some unholy muddying experience.

So basically:

Sex with someone who actually loves and respects you = good, purifying, clean

Promiscuous monkey fucking = bad, gross, muddying

BananaB0yy · 2024-07-22T17:32:15+00:00

you dont get it at all. this "double standard" is just our evolutional heritage, because women can get pregnant and men can impregnate. thats why we are hardwired to feel women should be more picky.

Conrad-Turbo · 2024-07-22T15:41:34+00:00

It's obvious nonsense. But if you come up with a more plausible 'theory' to justify why it's cool for me to be an absolute manwhore and cheat on my gf every other week while she must be pure and a virgin so I don't have to compete with past partners or confront my insecurities, let us know!

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-07-22T15:52:39+00:00

Most people think “fuckbois” and “slutty girls” are gross and are quite content to let the “high Ns” go and fuck each other. It’s the ones jealous/envious that maid this double standard. They want to be the “hig N” of their gender but also can’t stand that the other sides doesn’t put them there.

So they hate on the gender that won’t fuck them but won’t hate on the ones they admire in their gender that are living the way they would if they could.

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-07-22T20:52:24+00:00

This "double standard" is one of the most prominent beliefs within the manosphere.

It's only a double standard because you don't accept the differing sexual experiences of men and women. A young/fertile woman has unlimited sexual opportunity. This is not necessarily a good thing. Most of those opportunities will be with men they don't find remotely desirable.

The skill women need to learn is how to select good candidates. This is them choosing to limit their acceptance of this sexual opportunity.

A woman who has sex with anyone is showing poor development of this life skill. Those poor choices will likely lead to failed relationships, single mother hood. Basically it's a predictor of her being a poor mate choice.

Men's experience is very different. Men have to demonstrate value to create sexual opportunity. There's is a life of scarcity if they don't learn to put forth enough and the right type of effort. So a man who attracts multiple women is accomplishing something.

Both sexes are rewarded for accomplishing what is difficult. You're seeing a double standard because you don't see the two sexes as two sides of the same coin. You want to see them as experiencing identical access to dating. They don't and their expectations and rewards come from navigating their own paths and opportunities in the dating market.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-07-22T15:54:12+00:00

It's fully practical to me. If she didn't provide me with something special... (ie everyone hit it, therefore it's not special) then why would I "pay" much of anything for it?

It's called economics. If every Tom dick and Harry can hit it for nothing... why would I pay? That would be degrading.

It's not degrading to fuck a slut, it's degrading to wife a slut and legally commit your finances to her and or to be monogamous with her. That's embarrassing as fuck to put in so much effort into getting the pussy when everyone else did literally nothing and got it.

I have no problem dating a whore, assuming I don't have to make any commitments of any kind to her. And I'll frankly dump her ass the second she costs more than whatever value she provides. If she's here for hot sex but cheats or gets ugly or whatever boom there's the door. That is her only value. Everyone knows this, it's just not PC to say. Since she didn't give me anything special she didn't give to everyone else, I don't owe her jack shit either.

That's the whole damn point.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-07-22T18:55:14+00:00

There is no sexual double standard as women seem to care just as much about bodycount as men. The only people trying to claim nobody cares are overly progressive nutjobs who are mostly reality-adjacent and not exactly living in reality.

weenieandthebutt · 2024-07-22T18:14:32+00:00

I feel if women fucked around with nerdy, wholesome, respectable guys, I wouldn't have much of a problem with it.

My main issue with female promiscuity is that despite being spoiled for choice, they'll typically sleep around with some of the biggest douchebag, chauvinists dudes just because "oh he's hot, he's 6ft tee hee". It's mostly the behaviour and type of guys they go for that puts me off.

Then when they eventually settle down with a good man, they'll make him wait around and be like "I'm not that type of girl anymore" throughout the course of the relationship.

At least dudes with high n-counts and former players treat their LTRs much better than they did with casuals.

To answer this thread: men are attracted to wholesome personality traits whilst women are attracted to more boorish, dominant traits.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-22T15:11:16+00:00

No, it means that women are usable objects, while men are using agents

ArmariumEspata · 2024-07-22T16:02:57+00:00

That’s one of the reasons I despise this double standard so much. It portrays women (and female sexuality) as inherently pure, holistic, and beautiful, but it paints men (and male sexuality) as inherently disgusting, perverted, and carnal. Ridiculous.

EqualSea2001 · 2024-07-22T15:56:28+00:00

Yes, that is actually the logical conclusion to that type of discourse. And it is also at least in part a misandrist belief, which many would never admit, but also some do.

justforlulz12345 · 2024-07-22T17:16:06+00:00

I’m gross and disgusting. My autistic pixie dream girl gf who’s made of sugar and spice and everything nice loves that. 😘

wtknight · 2024-07-22T18:19:02+00:00

Are men who slut shame actually doing a "self own" by implying their own gender makes people worse off & women make people better off as a result of sex?

No, they are saying that their gender is dangerous, not that they are bad. Women like the danger of dangerous men. Other men are wary of those men. Men and women are not the same.

The homosexuality argument is irrelevant. Homosexuality is generally seen as undesirable by women because it is often considered unmanly, not because men are involved.

Are men who slut shame actually benefiting themselves?

Yes. Men who are attractive are benefitting because they are ensuring that there are some relatively chaste women around when they want to settle down. Men who are average to unattractive are benefitting because they don’t want to be betas to alpha widows.

Men who are promiscuous will probably slut shame less, though, because they benefit more by having promiscuous women around.

Do you agree with this idea? Do you think men should be thought of as gross and disgusting, and women should be thought of as the opposite?

Men ideally shouldn’t be thought of as disgusting or dangerous. Unfortunately, promiscuous impulses seem to be built into men. It takes a lot of social brainwashing to make men less promiscuous, and, in the west, that brainwashing is not as prevalent as in the past due to the freedoms we like to celebrate in the west and the medical technology that is available to help prevent the sometimes unintended consequences of sex.

Maybe feminism will someday socialize women not to give manipulative men what they want sexually, but right now that particular feminist movement is in its infancy, and the idea that women should have sexual freedom, even if that freedom is with attractive but promiscuous men who objectify them, is the prevailing ideology.

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BrainMarshal · 2024-07-23T02:03:18+00:00

It's undisputed that the manosphere argues that women who have sex with men are made worse off as a result, meanwhile men who have sex with women are made better off. In the former case the woman's value somehow decreases and the man's increases. This "double standard" is one of the most prominent beliefs within the manosphere. You'll find many analogies they try to use, such as the lock and key.

I believe this applies both ways for men and women, but yeah, when they apply it only to women, it's a giant gender self-own in the way you're saying it is.

balhaegu · 2024-07-23T03:05:49+00:00

A man competes with other men to propagate his genes. Presence of other men in his woman's history means, higher chance of being cuckolded. Evolutionary biology causes men to detest the presence of competing male DNA "tainting" the woman he invests in and commits to.

For a woman, a man with sexual options indicates preselection, and confirmation that he carries high quality DNA, which increases likelihood of survival of her children, and her childrens' future reproductive options. So a man's sexual promiscuity in his past does not lower his value to her.

Simple

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-07-22T22:22:56+00:00

Are men who slut shame actually doing a "self own" by implying their own gender makes people worse off & women make people better off as a result of sex?

They are doing a self-own, definitely not expressing a universal opinion. Men who suffer the Madonna/Whore complex reveal they have filthy, nasty thoughts or put Mommy on a pedestal. I would feel very icky in their presence and suspect their search history would make me sick.

I have the same feeling about women with antisocial, conflicting views. I don’t want to see certain women’s search histories or bookshelves, either.

Men who like women and enjoy sex aren’t dirty, dirty boys who defile women. They are just people. So long as men and women aim their sexual interests towards people who are mutually attracted, it’s fine.

Do you think men should be thought of as gross and disgusting, and women should be thought of as the opposite?

Absolutely not, thought I’m definitely uncomfortable around anyone who espouses the Madonna/Whore thing, whether it’s men or women spewing hate and religious or cultural shame and disgust.

fellow_who_uses_redd · 2024-07-23T01:02:19+00:00

women are mean and shallow is all my experience has taught me

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-07-22T15:13:38+00:00

The difference is most men ain't pulling 30+ bodies while women who have 30+ bodies didn't have to work to get it merely invite and spread their legs

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-07-22T18:09:22+00:00

Are men who slut shame actually doing a "self own" by implying their own gender makes people worse off & women make people better off as a result of sex?

A pointless, irrelevant question born from your schizophrenic analogy.

Are men who slut shame actually benefiting themselves?

Yes.

Do you agree with this idea? Do you think men should be thought of as gross and disgusting, and women should be thought of as the opposite?

Sure. Women are free to not date promiscuous guys. The issue is, they keep doing it. Because these guys are preselected. And attractive.

"Should" this and "should" that have no power in the face of simple, observable reality.

KentuckyCriedFlickin · 2024-07-22T15:37:02+00:00

Men are just more territorial when it comes to sex, specifically casual sex.

Most men do not care who or how you have sex in relationships, but casual sex is seen more of like a public or "out in the open" phenomenon where they care more about her value. This value obviously carries into vetting for relationships because "exclusive sex vs. casual sex" is often differentiated for many men.

To me, it just sounds like a germaphobia of hating other men's dicks and loving pussy. So, maybe that's partially where it stems from.

Quiet_Firefighter_65 · 2024-07-22T18:25:47+00:00

Not per se, the entire point is that they slept with numerous other men, they don't include themselves in that scenario.
I guess? Theoretically by doing that you create an environment where women are hesitant to sleep around and therefore there's more low body count women to them. But I don't think that really matters, the point of slut shaming is to be hurtful.
It's not even a matter of should, it just is, a lot of men think of other men as gross and disgusting. Most of the reasons men give not wanting promiscuous women are post-hoc in my opinion, it mostly comes down to this. I get a lot of shit for only wanting to marry a virgin, but for me it's this thing, I innately find it disgusting for my partner to have slept with someone else, there's little I can do to change it.

TeensyTrouble · 2024-07-22T21:10:57+00:00

This sub way way better when people were organizing orgies instead of having civil discourse about gender inequality

SadCahita · 2024-07-22T21:27:30+00:00

It's not a matter of worse and better, but of active and passive principle. Women, seen as the receptive side get more attached to the sexual partner and are more changed by the sex. Men would just fulfill their potential as the active side and thus being seen as alfa

YveisGrey · 2024-07-23T11:51:17+00:00

Yea some truth here male sexuality is generally seen as icky, gross, scary. This is because women are choosier and think a lot of men are unattractive compared to the other way around. Women’s sexuality also has more value because it is a limited resource and everyone wants some of it. No one really wants men like that

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-22T16:20:59+00:00

Would it not be more accurate to sat that straight men find women hot and men gross? The double standard is a male narrative.

M3taBuster · 2024-07-22T20:24:05+00:00

I wouldn't say the implication is that "men are gross" per se. Rather, it's more like "sex is something men do to women".

Which is just kinda... mechanically true. The penis penetrates the vagina. It's psychologically humiliating to have something inserted into you. Especially by someone who is bigger and stronger than you, and can easily overpower you physically. Sure, a lot of women eroticize that humiliation , but it's still humiliating nonetheless. Not to mention sex is riskier and carries higher stakes for women, because they can get pregnant and are more susceptible to STDs. It's more vulnerable and embarrassing for women. There's a higher chance of a woman experiencing physical pain during sex. She's less likely to receive pleasure from it.

We all subconsciously know that sex is something men do to women, no matter how much we pretend otherwise. It manifests in so many different ways. Another notable example being the difference in how we treat male-on-female rape vs female-on-male rape. Meanwhile, we treat male-on-male rape a bit more seriously because the rape victim is put in a position that's more mechanically similar to the position women are in during heterosexual intercourse.

For men who care about body count, it's less about men being gross, and more about not wanting your partner to have been dominated, violated, defiled, and humiliated by someone else. And you can confirm this by asking them what they'd think if their partner had only slept with other women before. They might still say it's a dealbreaker, but you'll notice that it's for more cerebral reasons. LIke it doesn't really bother them, but they have to say it does for the sake of consistency or in service of some principle. But their response won't be nearly as visceral. And that's because female-on-female sex doesn't involve any penetration, and therefore, no domination, violation, humiliation, and so on.

Does the "double standard" in promiscuity conclude, intentionally or not, that men are gross and disgusting & women are beautiful and desirable?

Comments

ChadLife

Title	Does the "double standard" in promiscuity conclude, intentionally or not, that men are gross and disgusting & women are beautiful and desirable?
Author	brilliant22
Upvotes	56
Comments	402
Date	July 22, 2024 2:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e9gd28/does_the_double_standard_in_promiscuity_conclude/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-double-standard-in-promiscuity-conclude.1524994 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524994