Men only want casual sex

RelevantJackWhite · 2024-11-07T06:25:52+00:00

I don't want casual sex, I don't feel entitled to casual sex, and I don't shame others for wanting casual sex regardless of gender. I'm not sure what you think shaming would help with, exactly. Seems like just a shitty thing to say you're going to try to do more.

MannerNo7000 · 2024-11-07T07:03:28+00:00

Absolute rubbish

Tumortadela · 2024-11-07T10:32:27+00:00

You cant seriously be looking for commitment in dating apps that literally display people like meat on a fucking rack.

IceWingAngel · 2024-11-07T06:59:24+00:00

Never in my ripe old almost a 30yr old virgin aged life has casual sex ever appealed to me. I can also save for one in my circle, say the same for the company of men I keep that are also not in my predicament.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-11-07T06:44:25+00:00

I'm guessing it's the ones you're swiping right on who want that. Most men want a relationship.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-11-07T12:08:46+00:00

Another bitter, lonely PPD user ranting with no actual argument beside blanket stereotypes.

a_minty_fart · 2024-11-07T19:17:55+00:00

Wild, that men (who you say only want casual sex) are the ones that do the overwhelming majority of proposals.

Get out your own fart-bubble.

Intelligent-Insight · 2024-11-07T22:58:29+00:00

We shame women for casual sex so we should shame men too.

Ummm no? Definitely not just because we shame women. It's not like men and women are the same when it comes to sex (literally, sexual dimorphism) so it's not like the standards should be the same.

But if you do want the same standards, sure. Before that, though, you need to actually learn what women are shame for because you were not honest in your description. They are not shamed for casual sex. They are shamed for casual sex with men. But guess what, men are already shamed for casual sex with men, too. So we already do what you want.

man-frustrated · 2024-11-07T07:02:20+00:00

If you as a man only offer causal sex then only your appearance is going to matter

So is it against the rules to make blackpill claims or is it only against the rules when an incel makes them.

Union_9_Link · 2024-11-07T08:47:27+00:00

Everyone has to learn the hard way that honesty doesn't get you anything. There are men who fuck without any intention of committing, and there are women who lead men on without any intention of having sex.

PsychologicalOil8190 · 2024-11-07T06:28:33+00:00

I think women should also be honest and not lead men on. I couldn't care less about casual sex, I care when she has casual sex with others but uses me for the rest of her free time. Men should be honest about their intentions and so should women. If you aren't interested in me sexually than tell me before you ask me to hang out as a "friend"

NozielKimura · 2024-11-07T07:32:33+00:00

I guess this is what women feel like when they read an in**l rant. So many weird claims in this post.

>Go on dating apps and see for yourself, men of all ages, all attractiveness levels, all economic classes just want something casual.

Maybe the men you pay attention to.

>This is a display of males self catered nature, they just want an ego boost and to tap and gap.

How is casual sex inherently self-catered? It takes two to tango... Would women participating in casual sex at record numbers in modern society be an example of their "self-catered" nature??? Cooked argument.

>Yet they will make out like they are hard done by in dating which couldn't be further from the truth.

Well yes, every recent metric reports that young men aren't getting into relationships or having sex as much as they used to. Thus we can easily extrapolate that dating is getting harder, especially for men.

>Men could find a relationship easily if they wanted to.

Literally nothing supports you on this. Only your feelings. Pure Just World fallacy.

>Men just need to be more honest instead of trying to create this image that they're such good guys looking for a loving committed relationship.

Most men aren't terrible people, just as most women aren't lol. It's pretty obvious that most PEOPLE, and by virtue men, ideally want to get into loving relationships.

>We shame women for casual sex

Holy shit this isn't 1964. WHO in modern society is vehemently shaming women for having casual sex when still about 1/5 of young women ages 18-23 have likely had casual sex last month? You would THINK that if they were being shamed by society like you claim they are, it would be so rare, yet they're doing it at a similar rate to men lmao.

>We shame women for casual sex so we should shame men too. We should also not give sympathy to men who feel so entitled to casual sex.

🤣 How does that even work logically? How are you going to shame a man because he's able to consistently have casual sex with women which actually requires some level of skill compared to the BARE minimum a woman needs to do to have casual sex is just to spread her legs? And most women don't even have sympathy for men not being able to have sex so your assertion is literally worthless. It's the status quo as usual.

>casual sex is of far greater value for men and they aim to get it while giving nothing in return.

I actually agree with this. Casual sex is ultimately the most beneficial for men because they can get sex with zero need for commitment while women are screwing themselves over since they can't get him to commit since it's just casual sex. Like any other argument for women actually benefiting from hookup culture is just cope, but your post is falsely blaming men about this for whatever reason.

>Additionally, men willingly put themselves on tinder which seems to be a hookup app because of men and women choose the hottest guys. Well DUH. If you as a man only offer causal sex then only your appearance is going to matter, so dont come crying on here about your dating struggles because you put yourself in that situation to be judged on looks.

Oh my god this is so tone deaf. Most guys aren't on tinder because they find it the most optimal way for their dating life, it's quite literally because they have no other choice because it's very difficult to find dates in our current modern environment purely through RL means. Obviously OLD has its own stipulations that men need to be aware of, but blaming men on this entirely is so goofy lmao.

playerwun111 · 2024-11-07T09:10:46+00:00

I thought we're in the post-sexual revolution? Im still confused why men are demonised for what women are encouraged to do. I think because men's sexual strategy is framed as negative because women can't benefit from marriage or exclusivity. The problem is for the last 2 decades women have benefitted from a dual mating strategy of using men for dates, attention and whatever else with the idea of sex AND used marriage to level up and exploit a man long-term in the form of indentured servitude.

A large portion of men have decided monogamy is not for them and would rather avoid the trials and tribulations which definitely come with exclusivity (high/impossible standards, manipulation, cheating, demonisation and brainwashing and eventual removal of the children)

If men want casual sex, then there's no crime against that. The men who demonise this like women either can't get it, have been socialised like idealistic women or have heard too many sob stories.

Both genders have agency and mating strategies. If a man doesn't see value in monogamy then he's free to get what he desires. You focus on that marriage road and dead bedroom but don't look over the hill and put others down out of jealousy or misplaced idealism.

izzzy12k · 2024-11-07T10:04:51+00:00

Men could find a relationship easily if they wanted to.

You sure aren't speaking for all men, especially with this comment.

Many of us, are wired with the intention of being in a serious and committed relationship.

But with the way the dating market is, things just don't pan out..

There are various reasons for this, some socially driven while other reasons may just be simply personal preferences that exclude us before we even get a chance to try and put ourselves out there to shoot our shot.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-11-07T10:22:33+00:00

newsflash, men are not looking for their wives on tinder, especially not attractive men. if you only swipe on the top x% of men, don't come crying that you were pump and dumped.

John_Oakman · 2024-11-07T12:58:49+00:00

All the relevant men yes, so the question then moves on to how can the irrelevant males atone for the sins of those relevant men?

Because that's the actual heart of the matter: Those males who don't act disruptive and whatnot are also the ones who are unnoticeable, and as such are also lower on the totem pole than those men, which limit what they can do/influence on the public discourse.

There's plenty of provider type males out there who are willing to provide for a family just for the value of social legitimacy, the trick is to know how to leverage said social legitimacy, something that's seemingly forgotten (or explicitly rejected) by the younger generation.

ChickenWingFat · 2024-11-07T15:38:37+00:00

"Men could find a relationship easily if they wanted to. Men just need to be more honest instead of trying to create this image that they're such good guys looking for a loving committed relationship."

False. Highly desirable men can easily find relationships. Less desirable men do not easily find relationships.

Also, why should men be more honest? Because that's what you want? People do what is in their own best interest when it comes to dating and mating or anything else. Many men are compelled to lie about their desire for a relationship because women's default is not wanting casual sex, at least not wanting casual sex from most men.

Many women tell lies about what they want.

Throwaway26702008 · 2024-11-07T16:49:32+00:00

Most single men and i, are just fucking lonely, we want companionship. Do you think the men killing themselves are doing it because they can’t fuck? No, it’s cus they feel alone and unloved. Get a fucking grip.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-11-07T06:34:21+00:00

Casual sex is incredibly unappealing to me. I've turned down any offer/oppertunity of it more times than I can recall off of the top of my head.

I've asked boys I know who do engage in it privatly how they feel about it, and the near unanimous answer was It really isn't worth it unless you've got feelings for them.

I never asked, but I've always suspected that those boys I know were only doing it because they thought they were supposed to and it gave them some kind of social worth.

man-frustrated · 2024-11-07T06:52:28+00:00

If you can only get sex by offering something other than sex (companionship, commitment, money etc), then women aren't attracted to you.

Men should only want casual sex.

LogoNoeticist · 2024-11-07T07:20:33+00:00

I'm open with being open to any kind of relationship on the apps but I get close to zero likes. I blame no one but the apps themselves. I will regard them as scams until proven otherwise.

Please don't tell me to work more on my profiles; just don't.

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-11-07T13:35:46+00:00

Women made hookup culture and are now mad about how men behave with hookup culture...?

just_a_place · 2024-11-07T06:47:16+00:00

Oh we don't care at all if you "boost our ego," we do however want sex though.

The reason we want casual sex is purely out of biological drive, since women basically emotionally, socially, culturally, and economically eviscerated the need for actual relationships, and you've beat us over the head that "We don't need no man. Future is Female."

So, message received. We still wanna fuck though, and we will do whatever to get it.

Men just need to be more honest instead of trying to create this image that they're such good guys looking for a loving committed relationship.

Uh, no. 🤨 We are doing no such thing. We are in fact doing the complete and total opposite of that. Where in the world did you ever get that idea? Women spit on "nice guys." A man needs to be a total fucking villain to get any pussy these days. Women are attracted to villainy, NOT niceness.

Even those of us who genuinely wished in the past to be good to women became jaded as fuck due to women showing zero fucking respect for us whenever we showed any good will towards you - so fuck that! So now that we are good and angry and give women only stress and hardship (which is what truly turns you on) don't shit test us by preaching this nonsense. All we're gonna do is lose patience and move on to the next girl who isn't kicking up drama.

NO ONE ever says, or believes, that men are "entitled" to sex. Sex is just something that we crave. Where the fuck do you women keep getting this stupid ass idea that we somehow feel entitled to it? Our attraction to women for sex is no different than a drug addict's addiction to drugs. If we could turn it off we would do it without a second thought!

To put it short: We only want casual sex from you because there is basically nothing else we want from you anymore. Women have become fucking unbearable to be with, work with, live with, or even talk with. So sex - a bodily function - is literally all that is left after you have collectively alienated yourselves from men.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2024-11-07T07:08:35+00:00

Complete bull. No they aren’t. As a woman on 3 dating sites, there are boatloads of men wanting relationships. And many even write explicitly in their bios that they are looking for a real relationship.

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Goonerlouie · 2024-11-07T06:54:40+00:00

Perhaps they do, and I’m sure a lot here will say they don’t.

We will always have complaints because those who can’t get it feel they are no different to those who can. Sure, the rizz might be missing, but at their core they are not so different

Vast-Worry8935 · 2024-11-07T10:35:02+00:00

Yes.

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2024-11-07T11:14:29+00:00

Pro tip, women actually run away when you put that you're actively looking for a relationship. I ALWAYS had my stuff set to casual dating and open to more because that's what women respond to.

Screenwiz · 2024-11-07T11:26:37+00:00

Dating apps are for casual sex…

macdaddy0800 · 2024-11-07T11:55:25+00:00

Most men, not all.

I've got a personal policy of not texting platonic women friends after 10pm.

I get replies from women at 945pm from messages I've sent earlier in the day and don't reply until the next day.

These women are well adjusted and decent, not degenerate and I have this personal policy because I know these dms can morph into booty calls.

wtknight · 2024-11-07T12:10:43+00:00

I think that there are a lot of men who struggle with attractiveness who would love to have a relationship. The men who go for casual sex tend to be the ones who can already attract women for relationships, but this isn’t all young men.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-11-07T15:52:41+00:00

Men on there want company, passion, and then hopefully a relationship. Hinge, Tinder, Bumble is like being at a club, 80% of the people there are looking around for a potential dopamine rush, even the women. Swipe more men, guys with great profiles made them for a reason. 5% of guys on apps get 90% of the matches, they’re entitled.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2024-11-09T21:49:30+00:00

Yes, I only want casual sex... with my wife.

ComprehensiveHat8073 · 2024-11-13T16:34:03+00:00

Casual hook ups with a variety of strange men don't supply rewards for "most" women and that is why "most" don't engage in them.

Women are pickier than men when it comes to who they have sex with.
While men are pretty much guaranteed sexual pleasure, release and orgasm every time they have sex, women are not guaranteed any of those (at least not in sex with men). The very nature of casual hook ups is such that the men engaging in them seek their own pleasure first and foremost and therefore are not concerned with the woman's pleasure and that is why women who have had hook ups report little to no sexual pleasure and no orgasms at all, for the most part. The nature of women's anatomy and sexuality make it so her sexual pleasure is best achieved with a partner she knows and feels comfortable with and who puts her pleasure and orgasm first and foremost before his own. Casual hook up sex is not conducive to any of that.
The risks to women in hook ups are too high. Besides just risking having a non-orgasmic/non-pleasurable experience (which is bad enough in itself), women risk pregnancy and STDs (at higher rates than men). In addition to those women risk their lives and safety at the hands of possibly violent men. Even with non-violent men women risk the possibility of uncomfortable or even painful sex.
I don't know where you got this idea that "most" young women are out here putting notches under their belts in either numbers of sexual partners or items of sexual repetoire but this is a very young male way of thinking and a projection of what "most" young men would do if they could onto what "most" young actually do or want to do. It does not reflect the reality of what "most" young women are doing, what they want to do, or what would bring them the greatest sexual satisfaction and number of orgasms.

The cost/benefit ratio of casual hook up sex skews entirely towards cost for women in all the above ways and more. This is why "most" women do not engage in it.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-11-16T04:57:24+00:00

If you think there is a meaningful difference in looks mattering in relationships vs. looks mattering in casual sex, then, without meaning to be offensive, you’re deluded.

Also, your claim that men only want casual sex is completely out of touch with reality. Most children have a father in their life which means that sticking p into v isn’t just a casual matter for the majority of men.

I suggest you watch: the reality principle - Aaron Clarey (YouTube)

Looking at your past posts, you really need that one.

MrSnrub87 · 2024-11-07T06:52:40+00:00

I'm sorry the men in your life have only valued you for one thing. I know the day I meet a woman whether she goes into the box of relationship potential, casual sex potential, or just friends. I don't know enough about the way you've treated men in the past, but I'm not really all that surprised with your jaded outlook that you quickly get weeded out as a potential partner

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2024-11-07T07:03:13+00:00

No, men don’t only want casual sex. I like it in sex parties, but prefer the sex with deep emotional connections I have with my partners.

Also this notion that I’d be given sex and I give nothing in return is ridiculous. In sex, the man gives and woman receives.

Acemanau · 2024-11-07T08:38:52+00:00

All the most competent men I know of are not that good looking, want to be dads and would be great husbands are very sexless.

It's a hilarious irony that a lot of pretty men never have to work on themselves therefore making them a poor prospect for a partner.

I'm in an LTR, getting married in Jan next year, I did not want casual sex, it's pointless.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-11-07T06:30:39+00:00

This is a job for ChatGPT:

This Reddit post expresses frustration and observations about men’s behavior on dating apps, but it makes some sweeping generalizations that overlook the complexity of both men’s and women’s experiences and desires in modern dating. Let’s break down and debunk several of the core arguments with more nuance.

“Men only want casual sex.”

This is an overgeneralization. Studies and surveys consistently show that men’s desires vary widely, with some seeking casual encounters, some looking for committed relationships, and many interested in both depending on the context. Research suggests that, on average, men may show a higher preference for casual sex than women, but that doesn’t mean all or even most men only want casual relationships. Additionally, many men express frustration with dating precisely because they’re looking for commitment and find it challenging to navigate a landscape where assumptions about their motives lead to misunderstandings.

“Men of all ages, attractiveness levels, and classes just want something casual.”

Again, this claim is too broad and does not account for variations in men’s life stages, goals, and personal experiences. The desire for casual sex is more common among younger men but often declines as they age or seek stability. Furthermore, socioeconomic factors, personal values, cultural background, and previous experiences significantly influence relationship goals. Many men on dating apps are explicitly searching for long-term partnerships, and there’s a considerable number of people who are upfront about this in their profiles. Research indicates that motivations on dating apps range widely, and while some do use them for hookups, others use them specifically to find committed partners.

“Men could find a relationship easily if they wanted to.”

This statement oversimplifies the challenges many men face in finding compatible partners. Just as women face difficulties in dating, so do men, though the obstacles are often different. Men’s struggles may include challenges with self-confidence, difficulty in expressing vulnerability, or societal expectations around masculinity that make forming deeper connections harder. Relationships also require mutual attraction, values alignment, and shared life goals, which can be just as difficult for men to find as it is for women. Compatibility isn’t guaranteed, and the assumption that any man can easily find a committed partner minimizes the real struggles people of all genders experience in modern dating.

“We shame women for casual sex, so we should shame men too.”

Rather than advocating for increased shaming, a more productive approach would be to move toward mutual understanding and respect for people’s individual choices and preferences in dating. The double standard around casual sex has historically put more pressure and judgment on women than men, but expanding that shame to men doesn’t solve the underlying issue. Both men and women should ideally be free to pursue relationships—casual or committed—without societal judgment, as long as they’re honest and respectful with their partners.

“Men feel entitled to casual sex and don’t give anything in return.”

This point overlooks that casual sex, when consensual, is typically a mutually agreed-upon interaction, not a one-sided exchange. While it’s true that some men (and some women) approach casual encounters with less consideration for their partners, it’s also true that many people engage in casual sex with genuine respect for one another. It’s a misconception to assume all men view casual sex as a selfish pursuit; many are simply interested in different kinds of connections at different times in their lives.

“Men on Tinder can’t complain because it’s a hookup app, and they chose to be judged on looks.”

While Tinder is known for more casual dating, it’s also widely used by people seeking serious relationships. Many men (and women) on Tinder do want committed relationships and use the app because it’s convenient and popular, not solely because they want hookups. Furthermore, people often judge each other’s profiles on various dating apps based on appearance—this isn’t specific to Tinder or casual encounters. Most dating apps rely on photos as the initial point of contact, meaning appearance tends to matter across the board. Complaints from men (or anyone) about the challenges of dating apps often stem from the dehumanizing aspects of the process, like being judged solely on looks, not a desire to avoid accountability.

Final Thoughts:

This Reddit post raises frustrations that reflect genuine grievances about certain trends in dating, but it oversimplifies men’s motivations and desires, treating them as monolithic rather than diverse and complex. People of all genders face distinct challenges in dating, and many of these challenges stem from cultural expectations, gender stereotypes, and individual insecurities. Rather than shaming or generalizing, a more productive conversation might focus on fostering honest communication, encouraging respectful interactions, and allowing space for people’s diverse needs and desires in dating.

breathofanarchy · 2024-11-07T07:08:43+00:00

Men who are successful on dating apps can get a girlfriend anyways inside their own circles. They’re just there for more thrills on the pussy market. Plenty of men who want a relationship and commitment but you won’t give them a hint of a chance.

DeathcoreOnly · 2024-11-07T21:52:04+00:00

You’re just whining because all you have to offer is sex and the men you want, want more than your sub par 😺

funfacts_82 · 2024-11-08T19:41:12+00:00

This is simply not true. Most men i know date intentionally.

What ends up being just sex is 90% of the time the woman in question showing massive red flags and therefore if dating nutjobs is out of the question the only option is to have sex and leave which we will happily do.

No-Consequence-6513 · 2024-11-07T06:51:44+00:00

We shame women for casual sex

Who are "we"? I doubt you do.

PayStreet2298 · 2024-11-07T06:36:12+00:00

Speaking as a man, this is partially true. It's biology.
However, when my girl started contributing towards my life, I fell in love with her. I naturally started contributing to her life and it became our life.

ColbyXXXX · 2024-11-07T10:14:41+00:00

Love casual sex. You mean I get to have sex for free with different women often? It’s like getting to play basketball with new people often and you all have a great time. I love it.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2024-11-07T17:05:23+00:00

This is too real. Hey I’m struggling to find a decent man but I’m not over here crying

The only amendment to this is they want a steady gf/wife and a side. At the same time. Until then they’ll keep bitching

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-11-07T06:35:23+00:00

Good point. I don't have sympathy for incel since they are entilted to sex. I don't use dating apps because there are a lot of people looking for hookups so I won't be taken seriously with my LTR need. I only do cold approach a few times to improve my social skills but warm approach is best to build meaningful relationships

There are plenty of men who are looking for their SO but they don't last long enough in the dating market or they put thenself in wrong places. If someone is complaining about women, I check first if they are looking for sex or for connection first

Title	Men only want casual sex
Author	Illustrious-Line-996
Upvotes	1
Comments	240
Date	November 7, 2024 6:18 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1glk3f5/men_only_want_casual_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-only-want-casual-sex.1534909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534909

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