Do men really like intelligent, driven or ambitious women or do they like the idea of them?

wazuphomie132 · 2021-11-30T06:59:23+00:00

all is rosy until the guy has seen how much I work, how driven I am and then it is a turn-off.

Isnt this your answer right here? Most people dont want to commit to someone who has no time to spend with them. People who have a "work to live" attitude aren't prioritizing career and status over free time and hobbies with their partner.

supa_man24 · 2021-11-30T07:17:47+00:00

This is the most honest answer you’ll get. Us men like intelligent, driven and ambitious women in the same way women like nice, kind men with caring personalities. I hope that answers your question.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-11-30T06:17:39+00:00

I like them. My current partner and previous ones have been high flying PhD students which previously were top of their class or end up getting awards or research grants. They are sweet, but also extremely dedicated and hardworking. I am too.

There's a caveat to that: the constant moving searching for new jobs. It has taken me a lot of sacrifice and greenhouse gas emissions to maintain these relationships at the distance. These are not women that will leave their careers and I won't leave mine, so we have to make it work somehow.

CFinCanada · 2021-11-30T12:00:55+00:00

When I was 22 I had a guy who I hadn't even kissed at that point tell me to my face that he couldn't seriously date me because I wasn't in university for a 4-year degree or better.

I thought that was pretty presumptuous.

Men mate assortatively, so I will say that men who are these things like women who are, yes.

My experience tells me that university-educated men only seriously date university-educated women. Took me a second to catch on though; once I did I stopped going on dates with these guys altogether. Before I realized I was neither for nor against it.

cautionTomorrow555 · 2021-11-30T05:49:02+00:00

Most guys the problem isn't your career, your intelligence, or your ambition, but that you can't spend time with them or how these kind of women tend to have a horrible bossy entitled attitudes that no man wants to come home to especially not other intelligent driven ambitious men. I don't want my partner to think or act like she is better than me we are partners for crying out loud we should be equals and love one another. I don't want to come home to some woman acting like my boss I barely tolerate that shit at work where I am being paid to tolerate it.

My experience talking to the high value career driven guys is they hate it even more than I do and tend to prefer feminine submissive women who are pleasant to deal with and can raise his kids right, but can also be intelligent and have signifiers of being upper class. You spent years trying to become the kind of guy you want to date not the kind woman that guy wants to date. I don't go get implants and say I have DD boobs why can't I find a woman with A DD chest do I? Of course not because boobs are not what women want.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-11-30T08:09:54+00:00

Ah yes a cosmo article, paragon of dating advice and science

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-11-30T05:45:52+00:00

If “intelligent and ambitious” is just code for “bitchy and frigid” then no.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what it often is.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-30T05:45:34+00:00

I mean it depends, me personally I don't need some Rhodes Scholar Ivy league student type, my wife is finishing up at Community College, she wants to be a paralegal which is fantastic, what's more important is that she's intellectually curious, capable of carrying on a good conversation, Street Smart etc., and I wouldn't want to be with some hyper ambitious career woman anyways

But taking myself out of it it depends on the guy, maybe he wants somebody who can match him in that regard like Amy and Sheldon ( and trust me I hate that I'm referencing The Big Bang Theory lol) , or maybe it's the chemistry combined with the physical attraction/ yin and yang vibes ( Leonard and Penny)

As far as ambition that's definitely a personality thing and I feel like if you have two hyper ambitious people, it probably starts to become a competition in the household, which sounds like a disaster.

Putting myself back into it for a second being a former Collegiate athlete and working hard to get to that point there is a level of ambition and competitive spirit in me would could really be ramped up under the right circumstances, but I'm not going to act like I have the competitiveness of a Michael Jordan or anything like that, especially when it came to work my mentality has always been "work to live, not live to work" I got into the tech field for the money and that's really about it, so I would need somebody with a similar level of ambition, monologue over lol

Novadina · 2021-11-30T08:37:23+00:00

I don’t understand and all the people here saying smart, driven people means they will be bossy, unfeminine, and apparently gloating about how much better than men they are, I don’t think those things are correlated. I’ve known annoying bossy women who were broke and worked at the mall, and I work with tons of career women (and men lol) and none of them are like that, they are all just passionate about their interests and goals. And all this saying guys don’t like driven women or whatever, I know that’s not true, there are men who like it, other men with passions or goals they are into as well and who want a likeminded partner.

sarkington · 2021-11-30T06:14:25+00:00

They’ll like it right up to the point she disagrees with them or puts herself first. Then she’s unsupportive and a bitch

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-11-30T13:09:38+00:00

In my experience, men unfortunately don’t care a lot about who you are, just how you look and how you make them feel. They don’t really want to hear about your career or field of study, they may think it’s cool and aren’t likely to be “intimidated” by it, they just really do not care, because to him you only exist as far as you relate to him. When you’re not together, you might as well just be sitting on your charging station like his phone. But when the reality that yes you really are a person with a life eventually comes knocking, if it gets in the way of him feeling special, that will be a problem.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-11-30T06:39:54+00:00

I like an intelligent woman. I can take or leave the ambition though; it doesn't work for or against her, unless it means we only see each other once a month or something.

Withnail- · 2021-11-30T14:44:52+00:00

The issue is women always seeking a wealthier and more powerful mate, that’s what men worry about and if you know biological science, there’s good reason for that. It doesn’t stop just because she makes good money. I personally love an accomplished women with a life, career and ambition.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-11-30T18:18:06+00:00

Ultimately, men are trying to adjust to innate female hypergamy. That is the main driver. Men are worried that a woman that is smarter or more ambitious than them, or even too close to them, will lose attraction to them. Or that she will set very high standards on these things that he will have no room to fail on.

Of course, evolution being evolution, to some extent men have evolved an reciprocal desire to be the more dominant, ambitious and intelligent one in a relationship. But this reciprocal evolved impulse is not as strong as the female causal one.

Add on top of this that social expectations, in the man and woman themselves, and in society around them, reinforce this dynamic.

There are other considerations, as other posters have mentioned. And some men are exceptions. But this is the core mechanic. Modern narratives on gender have only somewhat diminished the social expectations part. They are still strong. And the innate impulses are as strong as ever.

Your intelligence and ambition will actually be attractive, within limits, to a man who is in such a position that he feels these traits will never challenge your attraction to him because he basically has you sufficiently beat, with some buffer for him falling off a bit. Or a very atypical man, though you might not be attracted to him.

Finally, even when a man does not feel they would challenge the woman's attraction to him, these traits in women are more attractive to some men in a secondary way. A more conscious way. But they do not tend to drive raw male desire they way they can in women. It's just different.

cccccclairee · 2021-12-01T00:23:46+00:00

Yeah I have found the same. The want the on paper ambition and income, but then don’t like the traits that actually got me there.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2021-11-30T14:50:03+00:00

A working man will come home from a hard day and make time to listen to his woman vent. A working woman will come home from a hard day and take out all her anger and frustrations on the man. When he’s finally had enough of her shit and leaves it’s “men can’t handle a powerful woman” or “men are children”. Marrying a career driven woman is a nightmare...

TomorrowsWar · 2021-11-30T06:11:38+00:00

it really depends on the guy. I prefer guys that don’t care too much about the specifics but instead care about how I’m following my dreams. Your partner should be your cheerleader and biggest fan, that’s how I feel about my partners anyway.

Intelligent men usually only connect with people who are within arms reach of where they feel they stand. unless they have baggage, massive character flaws (like wanting a doormat), or have mental health issues.

Men who seek the most intelligent women while bragging about his own or her intelligence too much also usually have issues.

But at the end of the day, some insecure men don’t like anything that would remind them of their insecurities. So if a man has an insecurity in his own work or level of knowledge in something, dating someone who he would otherwise admire might be a trigger for him. He will react accordingly without much choice, it could look like him putting you down for working too much, or he could turn his thoughts onto himself and put himself down for not working enough.

Substantial_Day7343 · 2021-11-30T06:26:03+00:00

As I have not dated anyone so there can be things which are wrong but as a guy that's what I think can be a reason probably

As said in previous comments for most of men intelligent,driven or ambitious = bitchy, egoistic women who don't give a f about their family and think themselves as superior to men( with net and media this version is also becoming strong )

And their is also a notion which I also believe is true that intelligent driven or ambitious people are kinda rebellious ( now to how much extent or how do you take it i.e something +ve or something -ve also matters )

And there is one more thing depends on individual tuning. A person who is ambitious, driven will most likely want a person who can match their attitude however there is a catch i.e patriarchy ( not in a negative way though )if he has thinking like above comments things may go like op said. But if the husband or partner has more of a (what should I say) a liberal thinking i.e even if he or she is not that ambitious but believe if their partner has dreams they had to fulfill it.

Edit - there is one more point which I saw and agree with it that unfortunately men are programmed to be comfortable with a person who are matching or below our levels while women are lots of times ok if their partner is above them but they may not like partner who is below them and if we men find someone who is better than us insecurities and inferiority complex hit us . However it's not that he will stop you or take out his frustration on you he may take things on himself and harm himself due to insecurities( but exceptions are here too )

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-11-30T18:16:42+00:00

The problem is there are two distinct kinds of female ambition:

Woman 1: Gets a masters/PHD/or even a trade certification, kicks ass at her job, shuts up about work by dinner time.

Woman 2: Same credentials, but wants to be know as number 1 in her field, destroys all her relationships including with her children, because she must become number 1 sales rep, or surgeon, blah blah blah. It’s the equivalent of dating a guy in a band who thinks the world revolves around his music or is pursuing a career in mixed martial arts.

LittyKitsune · 2021-11-30T06:24:37+00:00

I mean most of the women in my family tick those boxes and are married to men with similar traits.

The happily married women in my family are also known for being warm, outgoing, and loving. My mom has her career, and she's exceptionally talented at what she does, but first and foremost I know her as the best mother a girl could ask for, and my dad always talks about how lucky he is to have her as his wife.

Fabulous-Housing102 · 2021-11-30T07:57:58+00:00

Some men like them, some men don't. My husband for example would find someone who simply obeyed him, was submissive and agreeable and kept house incredibly boring, he likes that we challenge each other, have debates, discuss intellectual topics and he is incredibly proud of me (as I am of him). However we are a team - I do not bossy him around (and he wouldn't let me if I tried) and he doesn't order me around.

We both are very career and education focused and it is important to both of us so we don't mind that we both spend a good deal of time working and studying. We are both very driven for our shared goals and our individual goals. I think it works if you are both like this but if one is a bit of a homebody and the other is driven and ambitious then it wouldn't really work.

UnitedIntroduction48 · 2021-11-30T12:12:29+00:00

Either you gave them the impression that your career makes you too busy to be available or they probably wanted to find fun and not someone serious. I can tell you that career and ambition does matter for men when selecting partners and thinking the opposite is incel bullcrap

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calfshrug · 2021-11-30T05:43:28+00:00

Hell yeah I like intelligent and ambitious women!

Bandit174 · 2021-11-30T06:32:49+00:00

I'm more compatible with women who are of average intelligence and ambition. Also I'm not hot like the guy in the picture so there's really nothing I have that would be of interest to an intelligent ambitious woman. Like perhaps she'd go for a less attractive guy who is smarter and more ambitious or for a hotter guy who is less intelligent/ ambitious but never for a guy who is lower than her in both domains.

md8716 · 2021-11-30T07:10:03+00:00

Intelligent, driven, and ambitious are fine, but irrelevant. I'd want a partner who is loving, present, and ready, willing and qualified to eventually be a wife and mother. That's the criteria I evaluate on. Also attractiveness of course.

I mean if you're Intelligent and driven that's cool too but it doesn't matter if you don't meet all the other stuff.

dysonRing · 2021-11-30T07:24:43+00:00

I simply just don't care, I could see myself dating the most combatitive, old wealth, prodigy, smartest woman alive as long as I am attracted to her (and she is a good person) I never get intimidated, the biggest problem is this is so rare I would literally be crossing out almost all women.

I can get the same intellectual stimulation talking about relationships than talking about battles in the eastern front, so why literally create a venn diagram with 0 women intersecting?

KirthWGersen · 2021-11-30T07:27:51+00:00

I find being with a woman who is busy with her job can be very convenient: you don't have to babysit them and they don't expect too much of your time. However, they are often looking for a man who is always there for them when they want them (you have to be there at short notice when they have a gap in their schedule), and they often have dominant personalities (lots of rules), which makes me unsuitable for them.

However, the same rules of attraction apply as with any other woman, and such women often neglect themselves physically (weight, fitness, grooming) due to lack of time.

chalkandapples · 2021-11-30T07:32:36+00:00

I think it highly depends on the guy. Men like everyone else likes people that are similar to him in key regards. People tend to appreciate things in others that they hold in high regard in themselves as well. Highly ambitious men generally like highly ambitious women, because they have an appreciation for that energy.

Men also likes familiarity, if all the women he knows around him are highly competent and successful, it would be super weird for him to marry someone that wasn't. Most men that have professional working mothers tend to expect his spouse to be smart and somewhat professional as well.

On the flip side, someone who doesn't appreciate academics (eg. street wise instead) probably won't appreciate a woman that's highly academic but has no street smarts.

syxtaly · 2021-11-30T07:44:37+00:00

My intelligent, driven or ambitious don't align with women's career-only limited sight.

Nothing icks me more than people whose existential purpose relies on legal entities found in purpose of generating profit for shareholders.

If she’s driven or ambitious for my happiness and wellbeing, that's it and i will not leave this unrequited.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-11-30T08:22:23+00:00

All I can say is I like a girl that enjoys what she does, but I want someone balanced in life. Life is all about balance for me. Pushing too far in any direction inevitably requires sacrifice. Someone overly ambitious male or female does not make a good long term partner if you require love and affection. For 2 independent ambitious people yea its great, but I don't think they should have a kid though.

2021-11-30T08:40:00+00:00

I know lots of ambitious, driven intelligent women. They’re great chicks.

However, women who refer to themselves as “ambitious, driven and intelligent” are usually ice-chewing, A-type psychos.

2021-11-30T10:44:12+00:00

Intelligence is an important selection criterion for me long term. I don't have much patience for stupidity and wishy-washy romanticism and self-delusion, which btw often goes hand-in-hand with toxicity, entitlement and vindictiveness. You have to consider what you'll be dealing with on a daily basis, so I like me a woman who is well reflected, and has a realistic view how the world around her (including me) actually works, and a capacity for non ego-invested introspection as well.

This is especially important when raising children, and trying to maintain a stable, peaceful living environment that provides value to all parties involved. She needs to have the mental capacity to understand and internalise on a fundamental level what it takes for me to be invested in her long term, and I need to have the same understanding for her to be invested in me long term (a k.a.no Disney fantasies either way). Intelligence, and the capacity for both inwards and outwards reflection, is not least important when things don't work out how you planned, say in the case of divorce. You have to consider not only the person you're marrying, but also the person you at some point might be divorcing;

I've seen some cases where guys have to deal with being alienated from their children, because their ex-wives used the children as weapons to punish their father. And in every single one of those cases, it seems to boil down to the fact that these women were stupid and ignorant people, simply devoid of the mental capacity to understand the damage they did to their own children, or the part they themselves played in the breakup of the marriage/union. Sometimes, when people do evil shit, or are vindictive, it's not because they're actually evil at heart (I'm sure those women loved their children too), but because they're simply too unintelligent to even understand the consequences of their actions, and not reflected enough to grasp a concept like: "it takes two to tango".

"Ambition and drive" is a bit of a different matter. I don't want a lazy slob that just sits around and provides no value, has no interests in life beyond social media, and who gets fatter and more unattractive by the day. That would simply not be sustainable long term, and would make it unnecessarily difficult for me not to stray (which ultimately, I don't want to). Also, she needs to be able to keep a job, and to contribute to the family economy. I didn't marry to financially support a woman, and become a beta buxing utility of a man.

However, I don't think about it in terms of "status" or a matter of "sexual attraction". I'm indifferent to whatever her credentials are on paper, whether she has a bachelor's or master's degree, or a PhD. And I don't equate those things with being an intelligent, well reflected individual either (although, statistically it's probably more likely - but I don't make personal choices based on statistics). The state of higher education today simply isn't at a place where you can automatically equate the two - especially within the social/humanistic sciences, which is where women usually earn their degrees.

JustStatedTheObvious · 2021-11-30T12:12:32+00:00

Depends on the type of ambition and intelligence, doesn't it?

Many men and women with great analytical minds are terrible at advanced social skills. And a focused mind can also describe a one track mind.

There's also an intimidation factor, I imagine? I've seen some folks collapse into an anxiety ball when they can't keep up.

dbz19 · 2021-11-30T12:14:07+00:00

Woman dedicated to family > woman dedicated to career

That's my opinion. Don't care if she didn't even finish high school. If she's a loving, caring, person, is family-minded, wants children, and genuinely loves me, then she's ideal for me regardless what her education or career is.

BecretAlbatross · 2021-11-30T12:32:54+00:00

I love them but they have to be sweet and non competitive. My favorite gf ever was an Engineer/professor who made tons of money and was super intelligent. But she was never combative or competitive. She was always sweet to me and if anything would use her intellect to tease me. It's great but I do know some successful women that are annoying.

Skycat9 · 2021-11-30T12:33:35+00:00

I can only speak for myself but I would say I’m not into ‘ambitious and driven’ women. I find these traits usually show in a certain type A personality, which I don’t get on with.

Of course, it depends how the ambition is channeled too. I’m not into business minded women, but if I met a girl whose ambition related to a charitable cause, that would be more appealing

Pilling_it · 2021-11-30T13:20:59+00:00

The wording is just women telling themselves that.

Do you like kind, caring, and nurturing men?

wtknight · 2021-11-30T13:21:57+00:00

Men date either across or somewhat down. They often like the idea of a woman who is his social equal because it makes for a better quality relationship than dating someone whom they feel is inferior. And if she is inferior to him, then he doesn’t want her to be so inferior that it feels embarrassing to be with her.

On the other hand, they don’t often like dating women whom they feel are better than them. But if there are no other options for sex, men still would.

forthetinderelllas · 2021-11-30T13:30:52+00:00

i prefer women with intelligence. as someone with a bit myself, having the capacity to understand and carry on conversations about nuanced topics is a huge plus. my longest and most compatible partner to date attended Cornell at the time. on the other hand, there is one girl i dated for a few months who i swear had a 2-digit iq but there was something so endearing about it 🥲

ambition however means jack squat

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-11-30T13:59:31+00:00

They can’t find a guy who’s comfortable with all that awesomeness.

Lol.

Successful women are more likely to be married or in a cohabitation LTR. Not less.

If you can't lock down a man it's not because you earn too much money.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-11-30T14:04:44+00:00

Yep. We like "intelligent, driven and ambitious" women (lol) because their genes make intelligent children and they are good, trustworthy spouses who can take care of business and handle shit (when they're not cheating).

Women like "nice, kind men with caring personalities" because those men's money provides for women's kids and they are good, trustworthy spouses who can take care of business and pay for shit (who get cheated on).

ruboyuri · 2021-11-30T14:27:25+00:00

“There can only be one captain”

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-11-30T14:39:06+00:00

all is rosy until the guy has seen how much I work, how driven I am and then it is a turn-off.

I think for some guys, if they see you are more ambitious than they are, they instinctively know you will want to find a guy better than you and think you won't be interested in them. Being that the woman being more successful than the man is a predictor of relationship instability, this is well founded

Blackagar59 · 2021-11-30T15:12:26+00:00

My gf is smarter than me.

But that's not that hard tbh.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-11-30T15:23:09+00:00

Shit l like her money 🤑

Creation_Soul · 2021-11-30T16:32:03+00:00

I would say it like this: it's not as big of a plus as some women would like to think, but it's also not such a big minus as some men would like to think.

Some men here like to say that "top men" don't actually like ambitious women, but since assortative pairing is a thing, most of those men don't feel that these characteristics in women are such a downside that they need to go look elsewhere. Basically, proximity is still a a deciding factor for the chances of people to pair up, so a man being near similarly minded women, will most likely enter a relationship with one them.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-11-30T16:32:42+00:00

It depends on you really.. Being successful in your career, especially if it's a competitive field where you must compete against men, requires you to pick up a bunch of traits that most men considers masculine. Heterosexual men do not want women with excessive masculine traits.. So if you can separate your "corporate" persona from your social persona and can be a feminine woman in your social time without having to be pushed there, then you shouldn't have issues finding a guy you can respect. Most women can't though..

The other issue is time. If your carreer takes too much time away from your relationship, it won't help you much on the long term..

heyitsjeape · 2021-11-30T17:27:21+00:00

I don’t think it matters either way. Nobody wants a dumb person, I wouldn’t think but being a genius doesn’t necessarily do anything for me. I think driven and ambitious are somewhat neutral. I guess I don’t think of females in that way so it might seem unusual but not in a good or bad way.

hudibrastic · 2021-11-30T17:48:23+00:00

Jesus Christ, we are not afraid of ambitious women, the same way women are not afraid of emotional mem

We just prefer other types of women

SaBahRub · 2021-11-30T17:54:01+00:00

To many men, a woman’s purpose is sex, service, support and subordination. They admit it in this very post too

Please also note that plenty of women are totally fine with, and even idealize, this purpose

Zcuzz · 2021-11-30T18:00:17+00:00

I like intelligent women, but being driven and ambitious is a turnoff. Those two qualities are masculine. I don't mind a tomboy (I actually like them) but she still needs feminine qualities.

I think both sexes make the mistake of trying to be like the person of the opposite sex they are looking for, especially when they are young. I hate to say it, but this is entirely a problem that comes from women. Men are pretty straightforward about what they want. Women say one thing and actually want another, whether they realize it or not.

How so many women miss the writing on the wall is beyond me. Probably due to listening to other women. Women give the worst dating advice, to both men and other women.

y2kjanelle · 2021-11-30T18:10:39+00:00

Healthy men like them. Men who aren’t intimidated by women’s success are just emotionally mature. We underestimate the immaturity of people.

If someone being intelligent and ambitious makes you dislike them, that’s simply on you. It’s unhealthy to think badly about someone for doing good for themselves.

Bjj-lyfe · 2021-11-30T18:56:36+00:00

Not inherently, but what tends to happen:

she is busy with other priorities so we don’t talk/hang out as much. Things fall off naturally and no one reinitiates
conversation can become argumentative and we spend lots of time clarifying semantics which isn’t really fun or sexy

If there’s a spark then these issues are resolved bc the two above are caused by lack of desire/interest. However, it seems like identifying as a “driven, ambitious women” can cause a lack of interest/effort in dating compared to other women.

It sets them back when dating me IMO, but if they’re perfectly happy being single good for them

aesthetic_anus_43 · 2021-11-30T20:35:18+00:00

In the same way women like men for personality and kindness, yes.

2021-11-30T20:35:37+00:00

cosmopolitan

bruh ...

Those qualities are secondary to what makes a good candidate for a LTR. Primarily, they need to want to be with me, and want sex with me. If they don't then they'd only be eligible to be a friend, not a romantic partner.

all is rosy until the guy has seen how much I work, how driven I am and then it is a turn-off.

Say you were very serious with a guy, married even: would you be willing to move with him to a new city, get a new job, if he needed to do that to further his career? If you got your dream job in a new city, would you expect him to follow you, potentially damaging his career in the process? You probably signaled to these men that you value your career more than a relationship you might have with them, so they decide to pursue other women.

_-CHUBUT-_ · 2021-11-30T21:40:20+00:00

No. I feel like I'm dating another dude 🤢

Barely-moral · 2021-11-30T22:16:06+00:00

I don't know about men in general. I can tell you that I know ambition and drive on women is only a positive thing when she is aiming in the same direction I am aiming.

You would never call my partner ambitious nor driven considering that I met her in a homeless shelter and she doesn't work nor does she want to work.

Her ambition is to be a homemaker. And her drive towards her ambition was strong enough to get her the life she wanted even though she was born in a third world ghetto.

Her drive and ambition were good for me because both qualities are aimed towards my goals as well. I want a partner that wants to spend her time and energy into the relationship.

About intelligence... It is overrated. Curiosity and kindness are way more important.

Cheap-Pound7001 · 2021-11-30T22:22:42+00:00

I don't like women who are ball busting bitches. Have a career? Cool. I don't care about that one way or the other.

I do find an intelligent woman very sexy.

Years ago, I knew a girl who was admittedly cute...but I watched her solve a Rubik's cube in seconds.

I wanted her sooooooo bad after I saw her solve it.

kyjolski · 2021-11-30T22:48:09+00:00

Personally I do really like these women - it's sexy and admirable that they have their own thing their are pursuing, and not being in each other's hair all the time is IME only healthy.

Of course, in the context of an LTR, there's always the question of whether our mutual pursuits are compatible enough to even make maintaining a relationship possible. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it's no.

cuckspace · 2021-11-30T23:39:23+00:00

Does anyone even say they like a woman who is driven or ambitious? I’m a weirdo who likes a woman to be dominant, but I would never use the words ‘driven’ or ‘ambitious’ in the context of attractiveness. These are entirely women’s fixations and usually code words for something less socially acceptable.

CauliflowerHonest950 · 2021-12-01T01:58:30+00:00

We like decent looking girls with decent bodies who are cool to be around. Our standards arnt that high that’s why females have so many options

RPslimjim · 2021-12-01T04:04:44+00:00

The typical RPM doesn’t like a woman who’s competing with them. If I’m driven in my career I want a woman who’s driven to support me in my career. I want a woman who will raise my kids. It’s hard to do that if she’s just as ambitious as you in her career.

For non RPM, I’m sure it’s different.

Glarkin42 · 2021-12-01T07:44:21+00:00

I care about loyalty more than anything once a minimal level of physical attraction exists and assuming the woman isn't a total idiot.

dbz19 · 2021-11-30T05:53:41+00:00

To be honest, I think I lean towards a woman who prioritises family over career.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-11-30T06:00:38+00:00

She definitely needs to be intelligent because I like intelligent discussion.

Ambition is another thing. I don’t want her asking me to move across the country for her promotion. She should have a stable career here.

Jakes1967 · 2021-11-30T06:21:55+00:00

Do men really like intelligent, driven or ambitious women or do they like the idea of them?

What ALL these studies miss is a baseline. To date, nobody has done an IQ test etc. on the men to determine their baseline. ALL the men I've ever met, myself included, believe that we're smarter and more intellectual than we really are, then we meet a really smart cookie and can't handle reality....

From experience and what seems to be the norm, is that most men and women match up around their own intellectual levels etc.

midwesternMD · 2021-11-30T08:12:25+00:00

It depends on the man. But I think for most of us, hotness and genuine attraction outweigh ambition/career prospects.

For me personally, I’ve yet to feel threatened by any woman I’ve dated. It’d be rare for a woman to dwarf my income/earning potential, but even if she did, my profession still confers a unique privilege. Is this fair? No. But in my experience, it’s true, so I behave accordingly.

Let’s get down to brass tacks.

Let’s say I gross 250k in an average year. If I met an attractive woman who also grossed 250k/year and who was attracted to me, I’d be ecstatic. But if this same woman worked long hours/came home tired or angry every day/didn’t have the energy to have an adequate sex life with me/etc, I would be a lot less ecstatic. In fact, I’d rather date a similarly attractive woman who grosses 50k but loves her job, comes home energized, and has the energy to act on her attraction to me.

Hell, such a woman could gross 20k/yr for all I care. I earn enough to support a family.

But I fully understand that my particular situation doesn’t really apply to most men. Hence, it depends on the man.

Title	Do men really like intelligent, driven or ambitious women or do they like the idea of them?
Author	sharm320
Upvotes	5
Comments	133
Date	November 30, 2021 5:35 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r5fy80/do_men_really_like_intelligent_driven_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-really-like-intelligent-driven-or-ambitious.1089578 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089578

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