Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2022-01-31T22:29:51+00:00

I’ve known too many women who were molested as children by their Mother’s boyfriends. 💔

NonaOrganic · 2022-01-31T23:16:47+00:00

I see this more often than I should in my line of work. This happened years ago but I will never forget the sheer astonishment on one woman’s face who refused to believe her bf was raping her daughter b/c as she told us “I let him F me in my mouth & my a** and you want be to belive he’s f’in my daughter!!!” Yes, and he was doing those disgusting things to her daughter too when the mother would go to work overnight to pay all the bills & leave him home w/her children. The daughter went through hell b/c she also offered herself up more to keep him from getting to her little sister.

I know some single mothers hate to hear it but you really need to question a man who is single, w/no kids (or is an absent father to his kids) and wants to immediately become father of the year to yours. Talk to his exes, watch him around your kids, don’t ever leave him alone w/them, or let him buy them exorbinant gifts so that “they’ll like him.” Find out if he’s encouraging them not to tell you stuff or keep secrets. And FFS if any of your children say he makes them feel uncomfortable, believe them!

ububTkuc · 2022-01-31T22:03:41+00:00

Wow I just vomited jn my mouth!

presentable_corpse · 2022-01-31T23:51:52+00:00

A frightening amount of mothers DO NOT love their daughters, at least not beyond them being an extension of themselves.

Men know this, and apparently ones like that wouldn't get laid otherwise.

adeecomeforth · 2022-01-31T22:48:45+00:00

Dear lord, this is fucking gross. My mom, despite her faults, refused to date (and still refuses more than 20 years after my father's death) because she was always wary of men and me being so young. I remember she would talk to some guys, but when all they would want is just sex (which they didn't explicitly say, just in double entendre which is super common in Mexican Spanish) she would immediately shut that shit down, and then warn them that if they ever even tried to flirt with me, a child, she would end them.

Of course I didn't find that out until I was way older, but every day I am thankful that she was like that towards men. Especially since I have a cousin my age who was molested by her own father's brother and my uncle and aunt did nothing about it.

Edit: wording

ExistentialJelly · 2022-01-31T23:47:26+00:00

I would not date if I was a single mother. I've seen way too many A&E documentaries and read too many personal stories about abuse from a mother's boyfriend.

I also refuse to post my children online.

iwanttobesobernow · 2022-01-31T22:00:55+00:00

Statistically the most likely person to sexually assault an underaged girl is her step father.

gutsandgorey · 2022-02-01T00:57:06+00:00

I will NEVER leave an unrelated male alone with my child. My mom dated after she and my dad divorced but I didn't meet a single boyfriend until after I turned 18. If I end up in a similar situation I will do the same. "Love" is not worth giving men access to your children.

vforvendetta87 · 2022-02-01T00:05:41+00:00

What in the actual fuck is wrong with men?!

2022-02-01T00:01:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Big_Lie_1776 · 2022-01-31T23:42:22+00:00

This is always my assumption whenever a man shows interest in a woman with a daughter who lives at home (no matter the age).

melympia · 2022-01-31T22:12:41+00:00

This is part of why I refused to date as a single mother with a young daughter...

Spittens · 2022-01-31T22:19:23+00:00

Yep (also notice how even the worst of the worst admits that good men spend money on their women).

MegathumpRoy · 2022-02-01T00:33:28+00:00

This made me physically ill. My mum keeping any men she dated away from the house was absolutely the right thing to do

imnotfromthisreality · 2022-01-31T21:41:31+00:00

This is really fucking sickening. This is why I always lie about having multiple men in my household no matter the situation

Bella_Keira23 · 2022-02-01T00:06:45+00:00

Ugh, male depravity knows no bounds!

spicyspa · 2022-01-31T23:51:48+00:00

I told my daughter that she even has an inkling of a problem about any man I'm dating she should tell me and I'll drop him. No questions asked. Hopefully I will figure that out before she does.

She's an adult, but same rules apply.

smolcontrolledbursts · 2022-02-01T03:16:48+00:00

Step fathers are notorious for sexuallly assaulting and/or murdering their partner's children.

There's a few single mums at work who are the most stereotypical pick me's. Screwed over by the NV father of their children so the next logical thing is obviously get involved with another one ASAP.

The thing is we make bank at my work.They don't actually need a bloke for anything. But they're controlled by their low self esteem at the expense of their kids safety.

Determinedblonde · 2022-01-31T22:40:32+00:00

Selfishness? Projecting again

passenger683 · 2022-01-31T22:16:36+00:00

Why are men like this ? Just why

Elena1684 · 2022-02-01T01:04:33+00:00

I’m going through an unwanted divorce and have 2 teenage girls and a college aged son still at home. I’m over it now but in the beginning I pouted because my stbxh has a girlfriend and I couldn’t do that to my kids. It’s hard to watch my daughters go on dates sometimes because I’m home alone but I know I’m doing the right thing.

I won’t even consider dating until they move out. I get judged for this because people think I deserve happiness too. I think maybe but at what cost? Is it really worth it? My answer is no.

SMAKI19 · 2022-02-01T02:11:07+00:00

Reason # 7635 why I might stay happily single forever.

KindredMaximus · 2022-02-01T00:05:46+00:00

lol, I dated a millionaire for over a year and he only met 2 of my kids - both times we were nowhere near my home. He never came near my home. When I was contemplating divorce, I knew part of that decision would mean I wouldn't be dating for at least ten years, until my youngest was 18. I knew that stats and I don't take chances. I stuck to that. I didn't really have the time either. Single mothers need to stop centering having a man. It's just too risky.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2022-01-31T22:55:34+00:00

Selfishness and loneliness?

ivesynthed · 2022-01-31T23:31:53+00:00

Wow this is some”Lolita” shit😷 disgusting

Proper-Ant-7646 · 2022-01-31T22:31:32+00:00

This made my skin crawl

NeinLive · 2022-02-01T00:46:17+00:00

This is why we need to teach young girls about the dark triad personality traits. Sadly not even mothers are protecting them. Mine sure didn't.

Initial-Glove · 2022-01-31T22:02:22+00:00

Single moms need to put their children first, not just pretend on Tinder. "My kids are my world" lol yeah right. If they were truly your world, you wouldn't be desperate to find a dude-- any dude-- online.

I wouldn't even date until my kids are grown. Kids don't need a revolving door of uncles, a million half siblings. That's a lot of trauma just bc mom needs attention and feels tingles for some low life.

Gamecat93 · 2022-01-31T22:22:03+00:00

Oh boy this is very disturbing.

thefutureisXX · 2022-02-01T02:16:33+00:00

Does anyone still vet their husbands that they fully trust? I figure all these women trust their husbands and it still happens. He’s never given me a reason to doubt at all. But I still keep an eye out. I think I always will.

rainbowshummingbird · 2022-02-01T05:13:23+00:00

I wonder what percentage of men would rape, murder and assault if these things weren’t against the law?

NeatClean3715 · 2022-01-31T23:26:16+00:00

I knew it.

karabnp · 2022-02-01T01:22:11+00:00

Jesus.😕

Absolutely and utterly DISGUSTING, yet, NOT AT ALL surprising, sadly.

May that vile creature and all the like, be swiftly sent to rot in the bowels of hell.🥂

Penny_Traytion · 2022-02-01T12:05:36+00:00

I am 37, single mom. Kids are 14/girl and 9/boy, I have not dated anyone since splitting with dad 9 years ago. Not once. I have not had sex, kissed or even flirted. I have had men try, and over the course of this time I realized 1. how disgusting men really are, and 2. How much of an independent and strong person I really am. I am by no means well off, I struggle pretty much all the time (hell, I have $30 in my checking right now for the whole week.) but I always get thru it, and I put a roof over their heads and nice clothes on their backs and we always have lots of food and I pay for every single bill and they both have more than they need. There is a ton of reasons why I don’t date, this topic being the #1 reason as I myself know all too well, and went thru this with just a few of my moms endless string of boyfriends when I was growing up. She had a new boyfriend every 6 months or so, we would move in with them, they would beat her and us and we’d go to a shelter and she’d meet the next guy who would ‘save her’ and the cycle continued the exact same way. I went to 2-3 schools a year up until high school, I can’t remember a time ever laughing with my mom, or doing something fun with her. And that’s the shit I’m most angry about. Not the men who abused me and my brother and her. Not the schools and having no friends and never having a bedroom or a bed to call my own. It was the fact that my mom was never there for me. I can not recall one time where she sat and played a game with me, or brushed my hair, or helped me with makeup, fuck when I got my period, I went to the school nurse. I swore when I had kids I would never do that to them and after their dad and I split, I have kept that promise to myself. I will never put a man (or anyone) before them. I am here for my kids every single night and every morning. We have lived in the same house and they have gone to the same school since they started kindergarten. I take them to school every day and pick them up every afternoon. We ride bikes after dinner when it’s nice enough, we have a family game night. These are the things that I would rather do than date some guy who will more than likely end up leaving anyway.

throwawaybcwierdos · 2022-02-01T00:49:23+00:00

If the man asks to see your kids very early on, shows inappropriate amount of interest in your kids (or what they like) or suggests dates where your kids are involved, dump immediately. To him, your kids should not exist until you feel comfortable having them around him.

dating-adventures · 2022-02-01T01:18:13+00:00

Demented

AryaZombie · 2022-02-01T00:15:03+00:00

It's so sad that single mothers have to choose between having a relationship or their children being safe.

bebestl · 2022-02-01T00:28:36+00:00

Absolutely horrifying. Thank you for sharing.

Mcccy · 2022-02-01T01:25:02+00:00

Posts like this make me terrified of dating if I ever have kids.

sewingmachinesavior · 2022-02-01T01:45:57+00:00

Yet another reason I’m thankful for zero men on my socials. And I have max privacy settings.

feminine_tomboy · 2022-02-01T04:49:28+00:00

This isn't a politically correct thing to say but there's a reason why men typically don't want to date single mothers - it doesn't benefit them from an evolutionary perspective to invest their resources into someone else's child.

So when I see men who are eager to date single mothers, marry them, become stepfathers, my immediate question is what's wrong with them.

And my immediate assumption is that they are pedophiles looking for easy access to children so that they could abuse them.

I'm glad to see so many single moms in this thread saying that they chose to opt out of dating completely until their kids are grown - that's the correct solution to this problem.

(Well, the correct solution would be to [redacted] all these pedophiles, but unfortunately that's not feasible 🙄)

P.S. Just to be clear, this is in no way a dig at single mothers.

katiekat0214 · 2022-02-01T12:08:23+00:00

I've chatted a long time, well over 20 years, and every single time, my blood always ran cold. Man and I would be talking, asking get to know you questions. He'd ask if I was married and had kids. I'd say no kids, and he would ghost right then and there. Clear signal he was a pedo and/or abuser, and wanted to target lonely, needy, horny single mothers and/or their daughters.

I want to hunt these men down and make them suffer. And then... use your imagination. I'd be the only one walking back.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2022-02-01T12:49:32+00:00

“How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before Getting Involved” - by Sandra L Brown, covers a case study or two like this. Same with “Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders” - by Anna C Salter.

Both books are good reads for any woman navigating the dating world, especially if she has a history of trauma and abuse, but even if not - because women who haven’t can also be at risk. Psychopathic men know how to play their cards right to charm women. Especially good reads if you are dating and have children (both male or female children, because male children are also at risk).

ferociouslycurious · 2022-02-01T00:37:01+00:00

I’m so sick of victim blaming. Posting pictures of your kids isn’t the problem (though limiting what you post out of respect for their future choices is legit). Here the problem is MEN. And the method is through the mom. And then men bitch that women don’t want to date them 🙄

jane-73 · 2022-01-31T22:51:17+00:00

This is just appalling because it’s so true. It’s always the ones you don’t suspect, the ones that are playing the long game. Be careful.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2022-02-01T12:28:15+00:00

This gave me chills and reminded me of my ex and his group of friends that “friended” a woman in her who had three teenage daughters…they constantly talked shit about the woman behind her back, but she trusted them and would tell the guys the daughters private info (mental health/ stds). I looked at the girls pages and could see all the creepy likes and comments - they’d gone through the girls photos from before they knew them (so they were underage) and liked all the bikini pics etc. and said “flirty” things to them, but the guys were so engrained in the mothers life that the mother and daughters would laugh it off as her “uncles” just messing around. It actually makes me sick to think of it. This woman has no idea and there’s no way she would believe it as she’s so charmed by these guys.

Edit: and it’s no wonder that step dad and daughter prn is so common. This ex did also “joke” to me to call him daddy. Gross.

throwawaybcwierdos · 2022-02-01T00:37:17+00:00

"Vet like your life depends on it."

You bet your ass I will.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2022-02-01T07:43:17+00:00

Yes this is am issue. I knew a woman who moves her bf in after a month, and was like "I deserve a life too". Like yes! Yes you do! But not at the risk of your children.

vilepurity · 2022-01-31T22:31:50+00:00

Gross. But I bet you can tell how porn sick and unhinged he is being in close contact with him. Anyone online can brag about how “hot” they are when in reality you can see how obviously depraved, socially awkward and creepy their mannerisms are irl.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-01T11:04:37+00:00

It's good that the message is getting out there. I've always thought parents shouldn't be posting pics of their kids publicly for safety reasons

HotConsideration3034 · 2022-02-01T01:12:46+00:00

This made me sick to my stomach and I don’t even know what to say right now

Beanstalksoup · 2022-02-01T01:17:02+00:00

Disgusting. Stuff like this enrages me

walking_in_queendom · 2022-02-01T04:19:18+00:00

After my father passed away, my mother refused to date until I was grown and out of the house for this exact reason.

neocissima · 2022-02-01T09:48:14+00:00

Just it's all ouch. Why the fuck can't you get a hobby that doesn't involve violence against someone?

Junior-Lion7893 · 2022-01-31T23:30:13+00:00

Don’t be shy, drop his IG handle.

He needs to be stopped!

This post alone could possibly have him as a registered sex offender.

blackmetalbetty · 2022-02-01T04:27:54+00:00

Nasty fuckers think every hole needs to be penetrated, even the ones attached to literal children. I can never truly process this it just makes me mad or numb inside.

SoftLovelies · 2022-02-01T01:43:46+00:00

This is sickening. It’s also this behavior that makes us so cautious around men. The HVM pay the price.

Feminineprincess · 2022-02-02T19:10:48+00:00

When my friend’s mom boyfriend came home from jail and gave him a place to stay, she told my friend “you need to put some clothes on in my house”

Title	Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.
Author	DiosaCordilia
Upvotes	1302
Comments	132
Date	January 31, 2022 9:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/shcofd/saw_this_on_ig_could_say_im_shocked_but_sadly_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/saw-this-on-ig-could-say-im-shocked-but-sadly-im.1098629 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098629

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