Women want men who elicit in her the same behavior that they find so abhorrent and repulsive in men.

wtknight · 2023-05-16T01:40:55+00:00

Re-flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2023-05-16T02:41:14+00:00

That must be a Gen Z, lol. I love mutual simping, that shit is the BEST.

No but seriously it’s a difference is desire. If I like someone yes simping is a positive. If I’m lukewarm or am not interested in someone it will be seen as a negative.

The same goes for men.

Inabind369 · 2023-05-16T03:12:26+00:00

Well duh. It’s near universal behavior for when someone is talking to someone they perceive as higher value than themself (in the context of dating/sex). And if it isn’t clear to you yet, women prefer to practice hypergamy. They want Mr. Dreamy McDreamboat and surprise surprise they lose their minds when they are close to getting him.

It’s neutral to positive to a point so long as they don’t cross into clingy or crazy territory. I personally find it a turn off unless I’m interested in them as a serious relationship prospect at which point I like a girl to be a little clingy because it lets me know she’s really into me and won’t stray.

It’s a huge turn off otherwise because I know if I fuck a girl who is obsessed with me I’m going to get a stalker and I’m eventually going to make her cry. Seen it happen to my roommate. His fuck buddy came over unannounced after he told her he was sick and we even turned off all the lights to act like we were asleep. She was telling everyone he was her boyfriend when he made it clear they were just fucking. She was devastated when he set set her straight and cut her loose.

It’s pathetic behavior regardless of the gender. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve folks. It’s cool to play it cool, but not too cool ya dig.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-16T01:56:55+00:00

The bullet points you use aren't even relevant to most women much less all of them.

Obsessive types are not that common and are often a problem regardless of the gender.

MistyMaisel · 2023-05-16T03:28:16+00:00

Yeah, but the key here is reciprocity. I only want this with a man who seems to indicate he wants this with me. And I want a man to want this with me. I want mutual obsession based on agreed upon mutual obsession.

Yes, if this isn't reciprocated, it's gross. This makes logical sense. We're disliking men for crossing a boundary and ignoring the need for reciprocity (as I assume they do with us).

LaloTwins · 2023-05-16T05:02:08+00:00

Redditor discovers that women don't find feminine traits attractive in men

More at 9

Orangematcha · 2023-05-16T01:47:19+00:00

If the woman is attracted they want that. If they’re not they don’t. You figured out how mutual attraction works. Wow.

Would you want an ugly woman attracted to you? One that you’re not attracted to? Probably not. Why would you, right?

MyLastBestChance · 2023-05-16T01:28:55+00:00

I would prefer that neither of us feel compelled to write one another’s names on the cover of our Trapper Keeper…Obsessive behavior is generally not the first step in a fulfilling and reasonable relationship.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-05-16T20:30:58+00:00

There’s a time window where if men express desire and vulnerability then it’s an ick for the woman. It is completely subjective to the woman but most often women do not want men to express these things before they do. Most women want a man who restrains his feelings until she gives him an opportunity to reciprocate. Lots of women more or less just want to date an emotional dancing monkey

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-05-16T01:48:52+00:00

Its actually funny how some women hate all the things that they themselves do when a guy is fucking them good and they like him

• They text back quick and sometimes double text if you take too long

• Clingy and always want to see you

• Constant compliments

• Always wanting sex

Literally all the things they despise with men but the minute that dick is hitting, they become what they hate

Safinated · 2023-05-16T02:34:49+00:00

I’m pretty sure most people like reciprocity, regardless of gender. Curse of being a social animal and all that

eefr · 2023-05-16T01:38:17+00:00

I want someone who behaves like this for me eventually.

The problem is when someone does this so early on in the relationship that you haven't had a chance to get to know each other and let feelings develop naturally. If they bombard you with too much too soon, it puts pressure on you to move things along faster than you're comfortable with. Nobody likes that.

I would like both of us to be excited about each other in roughly equal measure, and have that excitement increase at roughly the same pace (taking our cues from each other about how often to communicate, see each other, etc.).

By that I mean, feel excited to get a text message, respond right away, think about each other a lot.

I don't know about being "obsessed with [each other] entirely." I'm not sure exactly what you mean by that, but it sounds vaguely unhealthy.

sugartomyT · 2023-05-16T03:49:26+00:00

Have you noticed that most men accept and even enjoy things from the girl they want that they wouldn't from girls they're not attracted to?

-spontaneous blowjobs (they for some reason won't accept it from a random homeless old lady on the street) -breakfast in bed (instead of being thankful, they come with that "how tf did you get into my apartment, I live on the 9th floor of a 12 floor complex bullshit) -washing their clothes (why wouldn't you let my schizo cousin with a scat fetish wash your boxers, but you would let your hot girlfriend do it?!?)

Old-Condition-119 · 2023-05-16T01:53:43+00:00

He can't do anything to upset me if I really am into him, apart from ignore or avoid me.

Makuta_Servaela · 2023-05-16T03:43:01+00:00

I think it's just about boundaries. Women like passion, but the men who act like that tend to be the same men who can't take "no" for an answer. Just passion in general is not inherently a bad thing.

NakedStreets · 2023-05-16T04:15:39+00:00

Someone doesn’t understand the difference between feelings and behaviors.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-05-16T06:01:22+00:00

Which women hate that?

My husband is obsessed with me and has been since we met, and I’m just as obsessed with him.

19 years in we talk on the phone loads text all day until we are together again.

Spend 90% of our free time together, he is my best friend and favourite adult.

Even when I am pissed off at him I still always pick him and our marriage.

Peacesquad · 2023-05-16T15:33:06+00:00

Women don’t really know what the want tbh

NoTea4448 · 2023-05-16T15:56:28+00:00

It's not rocket science.

The people we are desperately attracted to, are the ones we want unrelenting love and attention.

The people we are repulsed by, are the ones we consider abhorrent when they give us unrelenting love and attention.

There are different standards for hot people. versus ugly people.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-05-16T16:49:43+00:00

This is some young people bullshit. You must be like 19.

saraimarsena · 2023-05-16T01:14:15+00:00

i like a man (that i find attractive) who’s obsessed w me personally

LiftSushiDallas · 2023-05-16T01:53:59+00:00

I think this is true for women who are extroverted and feelings-based, and these are the women you will see on Tiktok, YouTube and Twitter vs. on Reddit. On Reddit, particularly a subreddit like this, you'll find more introverted and logic-based women who are repulsed by the idea of acting this way. For example, I'm an INTJ and I am avoidant-attachment leaning. I crave a LARGE amount of independence and space and I go for men who are similar to me, in that they lean avoidant, are highly self-reliant, very stoic, aren't emotionally instable, etc.

In my dating life I always gravitate toward men who are very busy, in professions that take a lot of his time, who don't want cohabitation, etc. I basically see my ideal relationship as the man being one dish on the buffet that is my life. I want him to be like a luxury good and not a need at all. I'm absolutely repulsed by neediness, jealousy, possessiveness and love-bombing in men AND I reflect these traits myself. I have never heard a man say I am too attentive or obsessed or clingy or interested; on the contrary, it's more often men find me too aloof or distant (except when I do come across my exact type).

pinktuliplover · 2023-05-16T01:24:30+00:00

I’d rather him feel these things towards me than for me to feel this way towards him.

discountopinions · 2023-05-16T01:40:46+00:00

Hey I'm a woman and I'd love to have someone that interested in me.... provided I'm attracted to him of course, that intensity is repulsive if he's not hot. So in a nut shell be attractive, don't be unattractive 🤷

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2023-05-16T01:45:16+00:00

Because those are the behaviors of someone who perceives themselves as the lower value person in the relationship. It leaves the other person believing they are higher value and have better options.

razten-mizuten · 2023-05-16T07:25:45+00:00

Broadly speaking most people don’t like it when other people they aren’t romantically attracted to become obsessed with them.

The problem with your argument here is that you are describing two very different situations. One where a woman is actively interested in pursuing a more intimate relationship with someone else and one where a woman is just going about with her life and is constantly faced with someone else’s feelings.

I’m other words, when a man is pursuing a woman and the woman isn’t interested in him, that is attention the woman doesn’t want. However when she is receptive to the man her feelings might be different. This is true of all genders though, not just women.

At the core of this argument is the idea that women owe all men who fancy them their attention when they just don’t.

RahLyt · 2023-05-16T11:25:55+00:00

Honestly now I understand more when girls say men don't see women as people. Guys are the exact same. It's human nature.

jedi1josh · 2023-05-16T12:41:39+00:00

My girlfriend does things like this as well. She tells me all the time that she wishes I would do more "nice" things for her, but the last two times I tried doing something nice for her she got angry with me. Then she'll say that she wishes I wouldn't get angry with her but whenever something happens where I'm angry with her, I get treated well for the rest of the day.

Ppdebatesomental · 2023-05-16T04:22:07+00:00

Everything you listed is exactly how I want men to feel, but only when that’s how I feel as well. It’s like a high when you are simultaneously both falling in love.

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-16T05:10:06+00:00

How about mutually wanting to do those things but also having our own lives, responsibilities, interests, etc. and therefore not doing them

YearnsToDestroySun · 2023-05-16T05:33:30+00:00

female attraction is too damn subjective and doesn't seem to command introspection which makes it even worse.

where have all the dad's gone to raise daughters with more introspection and less expectation from a man to fill in her emotional gaps and/or psychological shortcomings so to speak.

as a youth, I prized the qualities women desired in men as something deep, now that I'm older, oh how wrong I was lol.

randomguy5612 · 2023-05-16T05:39:02+00:00

I think there is a word missing before women, it's the word "some"

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-16T08:55:41+00:00

Simping is overused as a term. It's not simping if you're both obsessed with each other. It's called falling in love, and yes, both men and women would like to do that. But someone falling for you when you aren't into them is awkward at best.

TheOrangeGhost · 2023-05-16T09:27:52+00:00

Generally I think worrying about clingyness and distance is mostly maturity thing. At a certain point you respect that different people have different romantic styles. So people want to talk every day some like to move things fast others like it slow. Good romantic compatablity requires compromise where both people feel wanted and are getting their needs met.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-05-16T09:58:05+00:00

This is almost like saying “women want men they want and not the ones they don’t,” I mean… no shit.lol And everyone wants reciprocal desire, just not in a crazy way that might indicate mental instability. Women aren’t that different from men in that way, except for the fact that men don’t usually see women as a threat. So an obsessive woman they’re not into is just annoying but also an ego boost for some guys, while an obsessive man can be a little scary at a certain point.

Motherofvampires · 2023-05-16T10:12:35+00:00

Things that are attractive in men are not always attractive in women and vice versa. The sexes are different. If a man exhibits feminine type behaviour, many women are not attracted to that. I can't see why this is controversial.

gymbronyc718 · 2023-05-16T10:28:02+00:00

I think you are kissing a few steps in between there buddy. Humans don't value this which they can get easily. If you as a man are giving up your attention and affection easily without the woman having earned it, it will be perceived as worthless.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-05-16T11:11:55+00:00

Attraction/chemistry is the key - it needs to be mutual. Everything flows from that.

Diabolical1234 · 2023-05-16T13:44:54+00:00

I have a very calm peaceful relationship. No stress, no drama, I never worry what he is doing because he gives me no reason to.

I never expect texts straight away from him especially when he is at work (he works very hard)

Any man I went on dates prior to him were all crazy and playing games and I’d just go home and block them after I cut the date short. I don’t play games. I like to live a chill life.

I’m 23 btw so I’m a gen z

zerofeetpersecond · 2023-05-16T13:59:43+00:00

Duh they want a guy they are obsessed with who doesn’t care about them. They view lack of attention from quality guy as measure of his value. The more attention the less value (assuming he meets the foot in door threshold).

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-05-16T14:59:32+00:00

You could reverse this for genders and its the same.

People want those that THEY want to show interest in them.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-05-16T15:18:49+00:00

Women have a window for men to safely express desire and vulnerability without it causing an “ick.” Most women want to be the first ones to appear obsessed and infatuated THEN men can reciprocate it without giving them the ick.

So contrived

q_dice · 2023-05-16T15:55:23+00:00

Haha a girl I was talking to said she wanted a man obsessed with her, I pulled tha and she said it was scary and I told her straight up that means it sounded good in ur head but it is not what u want

Zombombaby · 2023-05-16T22:53:16+00:00

Yes, we want a partner who is interested in us and reciprocates our communication needs. Thank you.

SpiritualBlob · 2023-05-17T14:58:21+00:00

It's so strange: it's better to be abusive as a man than to be respective. It's sad, but I won't lower to that standard. It's like: I feel like women rather be bullied and abused by a man than date someone that is not attractive.

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