Why don’t the men here do speed dating?

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-09T03:02:00+00:00

i’m gonna be honest, i tried it once and all the women were teetering on obese. It might’ve been the event itself, but it left a sour taste in my mouth

No_Mammoth8801 · 2024-01-09T03:08:09+00:00

Speed dating is terribly marketed at men and usually comes with a high cost of entry.

I get wanting to avoid a sausage fest, but a lot of these event organizers are charging $75/man (women get in for free, of course). I've never been to one but the fact that so many of these event organizers seem to be profiting off of lonely men leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

BringBackTwinShadows · 2024-01-09T03:51:03+00:00

Super sped up rejection sounds great 🙄

DesertShifter · 2024-01-09T03:33:25+00:00

you'd have a bunch of first dates

You'd have a bunch of rapid fire interviews, not dates. The problem with speed dating is quite evident: you cant just do what you want, you have to keep rotating. So if I go to an event with 19 fat girls and 1 thin girl, I'm looking at 5-10 minutes i might enjoy and 90-180 minutes I know are a complete waste of my time and will go nowhere. If I'm at a bar or coffee shop though? I just go up to someone Im attracted to and see where it goes. Cheaper, guaranteed attraction on my end, definitely more fun if it goes nowhere... i really dont see the benefit to speed dating versus just going out and hitting on women.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-01-09T04:30:10+00:00

I haven't tried speed dating, but I did look at meet ups for singles and they were not accepting any more single men at the time. That was a year or two ago so I don't know if things have changed.

Speed dating sounds fun in an awkward way but I think the price was offputting because I imagined it being more traditional types of women than I would match with but I could be totally wrong about that, I have no idea what kinds of women do it, really. Do women have to pay? Or are they the bait to get the men to pay?

Also, does the 5 minutes you sit there with a stranger you'll never see again count as a date?

raldabos · 2024-01-09T06:42:03+00:00

Because men aren't fan of paying for being rejected 100s of times. As a woman, you can't even imagine what is like to feel rejected insane amounts of times.

Women don't understand most women don't find most men attractive.

Fichek · 2024-01-09T09:50:22+00:00

Your post is a perfect example of a failure of logic and reasoning. A woman goes on 200 first dates and your reasoning is "hey, why don't you, as a man, try the same thing that got this woman half of her dates - speed dating!"

You don't consider anything that leads to that kind of outcome and observe the outcome in a vacuum. By that kind of reasoning, you could also say "hey, why don't you, as a man, try the same thing that got this woman the other half of her first dates - OLD (only my assumption since I haven't seen the post, but I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of other dates were from OLD).

There is literally no difference when you take context out of consideration and just observe the outcome.

And speed dating is OLD with additional steps to it. The mechanics are completely the same. It's presumed that every man at the event right-swiped on each of the women there. But then the women get to decide if they will right swipe on any of the men present there.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2024-01-09T03:02:00+00:00

If women are going to speed dating events and was able to get 100 first dates (assuming they were all men) that means that men are going to speed dating events...

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2024-01-09T04:21:03+00:00

The effort / reward ratio is too high.

If speed dating had a reasonable ratio, someone would have made a "speed dating" course and speed dating events would be saturated across the country in a matter of weeks.

macone235 · 2024-01-09T04:19:53+00:00

So you mean online dating IRL? That sounds like wonderful advice to give a bunch of low-status men.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-01-09T08:08:36+00:00

Getting rejected by a hundred women in one night sounds like a lot of fun

Many_Dragonfly4154 · 2024-01-09T06:07:29+00:00

You mean speed rejections?

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2024-01-09T03:13:08+00:00

Can't think of anything more desperate

bottleblank · 2024-01-09T03:20:24+00:00

I've been tempted, but I've checked up on some of the (limited) options where I am and it seems like most of the events get cancelled or postponed, or like 3 people show up and they're all one gender.

The company that runs them doesn't seem to be willing or able to help and you don't even get a refund if nobody shows, you get free entry to the next event instead. Which also might have no people at it.

They don't even actually host anything, they just arrange some space at some random local bar and say "hey, there's an event here, give us some money and we'll let you show up, but everything else is on you".

Another company, which seems less scummy, frequently sells out of male tickets long before the female tickets are even mostly sold, which makes it seem like an offline version of dating apps where there's a lot more willing men than women.

So, in theory? Yeah, I'd be willing to give it a legitimate shot. In practice? It doesn't seem hopeful and might even be a scam. If you live in a major city it might work out better, with more people around and larger venues/more profitable speed dating companies, I couldn't say.

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-01-09T07:10:44+00:00

I think men are walking away from the whole dating industry. I never tried speed dating but if it's anything like clubs it's become a waste of time.

Philip8000 · 2024-01-09T06:08:13+00:00

I would if I had the option. Sadly, living in a rural area means there isn't a lot of opportunity. I do my best to go out, meet people when I'm not working, but it's not an easy task when you don't have an existing social circle. Even if I wouldn't expect to meet my soul mate there, I'd be willing to make the attempt.

Something to keep in mind: not everyone lives in a place where all these opportunities are available. People like to romanticize rural life, but if you're not "normal", you're going to have a hard time of it.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-01-09T03:36:13+00:00

I have an interest in no one until I meet someone I really have a connection with. Which is really, really rare. I might meet someone I really fall for every 5 years or more.

The odds of meeting someone that I have a connection like that with in a quickfire social setting designed to put pressure on people to form a connection is so unlikely that I don't even entertain the idea.

It's why I also don't do dating apps or random approaches in public.

It seems like a high cost, very, very low chance of reward thing to do. I feel like most boys would feel the same way. I'd rather be single.

I like to get to know a girl for a good few weeks so we can fall for one another. I want to naturally find out that our values, likes, and personalites mesh as we interact more and more over the weeks. I essentially want to be falling in love before we've even slept together.

It's hard to meet people like that, yeah. But when you do, well, it's the only way I really like my love.

Speed dating, apps, and random approaching are the antithesis of what I value in love.

CraftyCooler · 2024-01-09T14:59:26+00:00

I'd rather die than go to such event lol. Men can jump through different hoops to get a girl, but there are some limits of humiliation.

thatguywhosadick · 2024-01-11T04:19:19+00:00

I actually tried it once at a place in town and it was such a shitty experience I wouldn’t want to do it again. The vast majority of the women seemed completely disinterested and a few were actively scanning the crowd while giving out one word answers instead of attempting to make conversation, it felt more like speed rejection than anything else.

DoinIt989 · 2024-01-09T08:00:42+00:00

Because speed dating is even worse than dating apps. In my area, speed dating costs almost the same as a whole month of Bumble/Tinder premium, and the results will likely be worse.

The women who show up to "speed dating" are either awful or in high demand,. You're better off just going to a bar/club on a weekend.

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SsRapier · 2024-01-09T03:50:28+00:00

I dont because it doesnt exist in my country. Would do, but the chance of being chosen by a girl is low

Hard_Corsair · 2024-01-09T06:07:23+00:00

You can't do speed dating IRL if you're terminally online.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2024-01-09T06:32:27+00:00

I've been to a speed dating event once. It was a free admission and I had nothing better to do that night so i said why not.

The process wasn't fun at all, it's just a series of job interview where you can't create any fun conversation in a timing that short.

As a man, you were heavily pressured into buying some drinks to the women you met. I get it, it was a free event so the get to make some money somehow. I don't have any problem buying drinks for a girl I like, especially if we are having a nice conversation, but i don't want to buy drinks to any girl I met for 5 minutes...

It might be a problem with that specific event but the woman running the show was clearly avoiding to match top people together. There was 2 girls I was attracted to in that event, they were clearly standing out from the other. We were 3 men standing out from the bunch. It was obvious that the "top profile" were kept as far away as possible.

So i spend my time having some small talk with girls I weren't attracted to. Watching the 2 attractive girls handling the first few "dates" gracefully, then losing their patience and getting sour as they realised they were matched with another subpar dude. At one point, one of the attractive girl bailed out and left, it was the moment where I decided I had enough myself and I ended up playing some darts with a dude there and the other attractive girl and one of her friend joined us later.

Overall, the speed dating was a complete waste of time. You can get way better interactions directly meeting a girl in a bar. If you have difficulty meeting women, it can be somehow helpfull, but the process is so unpleasant I doubt it really worth it.

Sea_Roll_2099 · 2024-01-09T08:09:51+00:00

Speed dating is for old people

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-09T14:32:37+00:00

I’m long retired from the game but when I did speed dating not much came from it. It was fun tho.

One time i went with a female friend and when it gif to us being at the same table she was like “I’m not having much luck- you’re easily the best guy here!” Lol!

It was more entertaining than “I’m goin a meet someone!”

id still recommend guys going JUST to get lots of practice talking to women you just met.

gntlbastard · 2024-01-09T18:47:30+00:00

No thanks.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2024-01-09T19:10:38+00:00

Are such things even real? Never seen them or if I do it's for older people

uccelloverde · 2024-01-09T19:59:23+00:00

I’ve done it twice, and didn’t get any matches.

Title	Why don’t the men here do speed dating?
Author	Economy-Shake-1448
Upvotes	0
Comments	312
Date	January 9, 2024 2:52 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/19242c5/why_dont_the_men_here_do_speed_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-dont-the-men-here-do-speed-dating.1242552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242552

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