Many men think cheating is alpha and high value. Many men justify cheating with these beliefs.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-02-25T18:05:06+00:00

Since women often tolerate or reward nonmongamous men, it looks like they too consider it high value behavior.

Its risky to cheat and betray you partner's trust, but women are more concerned about emotional cheating than physical cheating. And yes, if you're high value enough, some do go as far as liking consensual cuckqueaning. You need to talk to more women.

Reasonable_Style8214 · 2024-02-25T17:32:42+00:00

Having an abundance of sexual options as a man is high value, exercising said options within the confines of a monogamous relationship isn't. The only people who think cheating is high value are tate fanboys who are not worth taking seriously.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-02-25T17:34:45+00:00

High value men are honest, loyal, and honor their commitments. Low value men whine, lie, and are always looking for immediate gratification.

External_Pomelo939 · 2024-02-25T17:41:15+00:00

They aren’t beliefs they’re mostly true..

philseven12 · 2024-02-25T18:00:28+00:00

ive cheated in the past, and when i did cheat its because the girl look good n got a nice body. currently i live in a culture where cheating is normalized but if i was back in a western country it would be gambling with my life.

i have no inner dialogue about being powerful or other goofy shit. if she thick, im down to stick

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2024-02-25T20:29:39+00:00

Where are you getting this "many men think..." from? The actual studies I read shows that women are more likely to think that cheating is justified for some reason.

thedarkracer · 2024-02-25T17:51:17+00:00

I don't justify cheating like Tate and Myron or anyone, let me be clear first. I am just also trying to understand why this happens or how can it be mediated.

Why is cheating considered alpha?

It's hard to get laid for majority of men and women give a pass to a minority of men to get laid easily. Naturally those guys have to be special and they are made special by women. If women didn't flock those men too much, there wouldn't be an alpha term.

The preselection bias.

So a man doesn't get any gf ever and suddenly he gets one. Then due to this bias all girls start hitting on him. He is liking that attention as he never recieved that. That also causes him to cheat unless the guy has good values and such, he won't. So, if there wasn't a preselection bias, he wouldn't think of cheating.

Now, you would say why don't women cheat as much as men even though they have more options. If we check the age bracket of cheating on both genders, women cheat more when young.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

And we know women get more attention when young than of older age and for men it is the reverse. Plus age gap relationships, the bias, also play into this factor. Older men are married and it is a well known fact that wearing a ring causes women attract to you a lot.

Why do men think it is ok to cheat?

In the past men used to have multiple wives, kings and nobles. So maybe it is that evolution thing, the more wives you have the greater is your status bcz women are hard to get for men. If they were easier and not putting up too many tests for only average looking guys, it wouldn't be a problem.

Also the preselection bias, women get attracted to a guy more if he already has been or is in a relationship. Morally, the guy should abstain but like women he is not used to attention from the opposite sex as being deprived his whole life which is where men with less discipline fail.

Finishing touch

See OP, your anger is justified for sure but men are not the only ones to blame for it. Years of evolution of how women think have influenced the today's dating market. You wanna fix it? Give every guy an equal chance (which is too much to ask), let go of the preselection bias, date in your own age range (some don't date below 2 years older than them). If a guy has had one gf before age 20, he will be used to female attraction and will easily handle it when it happens again and not go like a drooling dog. Also, if every guy has an equal chance, then the number of alphas will increase nullifying it's value which will also decrease the cheating.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-02-25T17:45:32+00:00

who would think cheating is alpha, the true alphas don't have to cheat they can date multiple women knowingly

Proudvow · 2024-02-25T19:12:26+00:00

High value simply means being wanted by many women.

For a guy to cheat he by default is wanted by at least two women.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-02-25T20:52:00+00:00

What’s your point? People believe all sorts of things, like that the earth is flat.

ihih_reddit · 2024-02-25T20:57:37+00:00

I mean you know what type of person someone is if they think this. But I think you have a few points confused:

Men believe that cheating will put their wives on their toes to behave better

It's not this. It's not cheating it's the "harmless flirting" or welcoming attention from other women. It doesn't even have to be anything like this but keeping up their appearance. This, in a way, keeps their wives on their toes

Men also believe that women like to “share men”

Yes, if he's her Chad

and that they enjoy a man who cheats and that’s why they may tolerate it

They don't enjoy a man who cheats. I don't think any woman does, but it's that they tolerate it because he's her Chad

Men believe the ability to cheat means that they are attractive or powerful

That might be an idea going around but I disagree. Have you seen the people on The Jeremy Kyle Show or on Maury?

OnePotatoeChip · 2024-02-25T22:41:44+00:00

I certainly don't. I don't have much respect for people (men or women) who can just toss aside the love of their partner because someone whispered in their ear. The guilt would eat me alive. But I guess that's because I've seen what infidelity can do to people. Shit's just heartbreaking.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-02-26T01:26:56+00:00

It's a minority of men that have these beliefs. I think cheating is low value.

angelbaby933 · 2024-02-25T17:35:46+00:00

Men here repeat this talking points all the time but when it’s a woman reiterating it, now it’s a problem?

r2k398 · 2024-02-25T18:24:23+00:00

I honestly think that a woman would value a man they think has options to cheat because they are attractive, desirable, charismatic, etc. but never would because they are faithful. Am I wrong?

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-02-25T18:26:11+00:00

In my personal experience there are few men who think close to that, about three or four out of twenty-something dudes I had conversations on the topic with.

That's a lot in absolute numbers if this percentage can be extrapolated to the rest of population, but not a majority.

bruhholyshiet · 2024-02-25T19:25:42+00:00

Those men are fuckin r[EDACTED].

Freevoulous · 2024-02-26T14:40:28+00:00

The first Cheater argument is tautologically true: a man not attractive enough to cheat would not be able to cheat (excluding prostitution.) If the cheater managed to cheat despite his sub-optimal looks, then it just means his game is better.

In the end, cheating is not a very good metric of Alpha status, because it implies that the infidelity is hidden, at least perfunctorily. If a man is confident in his Alpha status then he would be honest about the relationship being open, and allow the woman the same freedom, confident in his chances to secure his happiness in such a scenario.

If I would to suggest a Beta-Alpha fidelity distribution it would be:

Most Beta: unable to cheat, unwilling to cheat (not enough free-will to even conceptualize a subversive idea)

Usual Beta: Unable to cheat, willing to cheat (only cheats extremely rarely and opportunistically, thus most likely to be caught)

On the fence Alpha/Beta: able to cheat, willing to cheat (cheats the most, rarely caught)

Alpha: able to cheat but does not have to, open relationship, at least on the male side

Full Alpha Patriarch Mode: fully able to sleep with whoever he wants, but decides on monogamy because HE wants to.

Full Alpha Nomad Mode: sleep with whoever he wants, does not use labels.

Quad-Banned120 · 2024-02-26T14:48:43+00:00

Shitty people believe they're high value. Lying your way into someone's bed is easy as fuck. Arguably most short term goals are easy as fuck if you're willing to tell any lie to get your foot in the door, but like lying on your resume you likely don't have much staying power so you're forced to disengage before you're found out.

Men of quality have integrity, are genuine and succeed without trickery. They make good partners; good husbands and good fathers.

I have never met a man who's a serial cheater that I would consider high value or 'alpha.' Dirtbags and mouthy little pussies, the lot of them.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-03-06T23:43:22+00:00

Cheating is not alpha or high value 🙂

Bubbly_Taro · 2024-02-25T17:27:47+00:00

Define "many"

bifewova234 · 2024-02-25T19:31:05+00:00

Anti-male propaganda

Velor22 · 2024-02-25T21:10:19+00:00

Most actual 'high value' men are long married, and fully committed to their women and family.

A man who truly loves his woman, wouldn't want to hurt her by cheating. Period.

Content-Pie1570 · 2024-02-25T17:52:19+00:00

Women like to be cheated, to them is a proof to other women that they are dating a gigachad alpha male with his own harem of concubines with them at the head, something a nerd antisocial shy boring betabuck virgins fit only to get their money stolen by single moms (expartners of chad) to maintain chad' offspring, can't do. Chads don't need to justify because it will be their wives/gfs the ones going around, excusing and defending their chadlpha male partners cheating episodes.

DarayRaven · 2024-02-25T17:29:57+00:00

Nice ragebait post

Really stands out with the big words

boom-wham-slam · 2024-02-25T18:49:10+00:00

I don't cheat. Never have. I just tell the girls I date that this is the deal. Literally never had any issues. Most women will accept it just fine and a large amount actually like it and are encouraging.

Being a cuck queen and liking it is 0.00001% of the time

Well I'm either the luckiest man in the world to have every single ltr be ok with it or you're just wrong.

Radiant-Bat-1562 · 2024-02-25T17:41:37+00:00

.....

Well tbh I never heard Rowan Atkinson getting laid so much so yeah

MisterFunnyShoes · 2024-02-25T18:13:13+00:00

Sexual attraction is amoral. The ability to have sex with multiple women is “alpha”.

This is completely separate from moral consideration. The vast majority of people still view cheating as deplorable.

treadmarks · 2024-02-25T18:48:24+00:00

You are confusing cause and effect. Cheating doesn't make you high value. Being high value makes you a cheater. When you are continually surrounded by tempting options you're going to have a hard time settling down.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for women who date way out of league and are then shocked by the result.

NotMattDamien · 2024-02-25T19:21:51+00:00

Did even need OP tag to know this was written by a women

Justahotdadbod · 2024-02-25T21:06:47+00:00

So an entire post of ridiculous opinions with zero evidence to support it. I think you need to hang out with better men, personally. I don’t find any men I know to regularly or openly believe any of the things you’ve posted above.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-25T17:23:47+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-25T17:23:48+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

KayRay1994 · 2024-02-25T17:48:36+00:00

some men do believe this, “many men”, however, don’t. The majority don’t believe in this, if you’re talking about this subreddit in particular, even though there are still some loony stuff out there, this is still a belief a minority have.

Ok_no_hat_no · 2024-02-25T17:51:22+00:00

fuck cheating. that guy aint no high value man.

floofyvulture · 2024-02-25T20:59:52+00:00

Many men wish death upon me

Safinated · 2024-02-25T21:07:04+00:00

Some may, but sex with a different person is reason enough for most

East_Writer_2892 · 2024-02-25T21:35:12+00:00

correct. Remember that a lot of these men started in the dumpster and may as well have been invisible to women. By the time they've dragged and reinvented their assess most of them have lost what little respect they had for women as whole to begin with and paradoxically they will notice that suddenly losing that respect has given them much more success than doing what they were "supposed to" ever did.

like a lot of women have a "hoe phase" these men have a "fuckboi phase" but the phase could be in their 30s because unlike women they don't just get to flip a switch and get to have fun they have to struggle to earn that luxury. Most of them eventually grow out of it and while they never respect women the same way (I definitely don't) they do find partners they adore and respect.

Besides most of the time when a woman is complaining about cheating she's usually the direct cause. Even quite attractive men have to work to get laid so they'd never bother putting in the effort if their current partner is fulfilling their needs.

The_Steele_man · 2024-02-25T23:39:00+00:00

I posted something similar to this post on this community in Friday, and one redditor told me that most women aren’t really committed to relationships, pointing out men shouldn’t be too committed either, because “she’s not yours, it was just your turn”

HighlightThink5276 · 2024-02-26T13:23:44+00:00

Your assumptions avoid all academic literature that is available on these topics.. pushing your own beliefs against peer reviewed studies on why women accept cheating etc…educate yourself more.. your ideas and internet access doesn’t make your ideas valid or true just cause there’s an audience.

Read “Why Women Have Sex” everything you laid out here is answered and you’ll learn why your ideas are wrong as most of what you explained is ignorance.

This isn’t a debate if the statements you made are flat out false and baseless… 1/3 women will have an affair in their marriages and almost 80% of women form emotional connections with their affair partners.. most men who cheat still report a high level of satisfaction with their marriages and just want variety..and yes that is specific to the male….because men and women are different…like very different…

Professional-Yam601 · 2024-02-26T13:41:47+00:00

Men who cheat are actually so low value. They put themselves and the people they’re in a relationship with at risk of stds, risk of getting someone pregnant and then having to pay child support which will take away from their family or the family they plan to have with someone else.

And not to mention it shows lack of integrity, empathy, self esteem, self control, and loyalty. All qualities that are important to women.

It is honestly the stupidest take I’ve heard. Anyone who says otherwise is spewing nonsense. It’s just people trying to justify their shitty character.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-02-26T13:41:50+00:00

Men believe the ability to cheat means that they are attractive or powerful

Well, yes. An average man can barely get a gf, let alone cheat.

Men believe that cheating will put their wives on their toes to behave better

Only dickheads believe that, not a HV man.

Men also believe that women like to “share men” and that they enjoy a man who cheats and that’s why they may tolerate it

Again false. Women do share HV Men though, but they don't enjoy it, but they would rather share a HV man rather than keep an average guy for themselves.

Many men believe that the amount of pain a woman is willing to put up with from them reflects their love

Again false, this is just your inner misandry speaking.

Many men believe that it’s men’s natural instinct to cheat and that boys will be boys and men like variety

While men are indeed more sexual driven, they also have the most emotional control. This is just your inner misnadry speaking

Also, how the hell are you not banned? I am banned all the time for "circle jerking" and talking shit about women and here you are, doing the same thing to men all the time and yet, you are not banned. If this doesn't show that this subreddit is biased, don't know what will.

obviousredflag · 2024-02-26T14:52:44+00:00

Men believe the ability to cheat means that they are attractive or powerful

This is true and it's irrelevant how physically attractcive one has to be, it''s enough to be attractive for casual sex. Could be attractiveness from presonality, wealth, status, or looks. It's a fact that most men don't have as much casual sex/sex partners as they would wish to have. Being a man who CAN have as much casual sex as he desires is a proof of attractiveness for this kind of activity. Men tend to think highly of other men who are successful with women for casual sex. This means that the man who has casual sex/can cheat feels this appreciation and increase in status.

Men believe that cheating will put their wives on their toes to behave better

This is true and a known effect of mate guarding strategies. If you suspect your partner to have wandering eyes, you increase your mate retention behavior, which cna be kinkier sex, more frequent sex, more blowjobs, cooking, etc.

Men also believe that women like to “share men” and that they enjoy a man who cheats and that’s why they may tolerate it

This is bullshit. Some women like it when they see their man is desired by other women and would have the potential to cheat but doesn't do it. Sharing men, regardless of how high value they might be, is not something women enjoy in general.

Many men believe that the amount of pain a woman is willing to put up with from them reflects their love

I have never heard someone say or write that. Where did you get that from? How do you know it's "many men" if all you could have possiblly seen of that is a few instances where people say or write that.

Many men believe that it’s men’s natural instinct to cheat and that boys will be boys and men like variety

Yes, it's men's genetic nature to have extradyadic sex, while still being committed to a single partner romantically. But as having this sex is a risk to the relationship, it's mostly not followed up upon. If there was zero chance that the cheating would be detected, you can assume that most men would cheat. (~25-60% of people cheat anyway)

They believe this is natural for them and that it’s just how they are designed so that they can have an army of children raised by single mothers.

That is factually the most effective reproductive strategy: one main partner with nearly all of the resources spent on the offspring with her, while having sex with basically anyone on the side and not taking care of that offspring. Of course this is what evolutionarily was most successful and dominant in a population. And it still is. People cheat and offspring happens this way. Cuckold fathers are a thing. Single mothers who got pregnant from a ONS are a thing. Why do you denie that this happening and being a thing would NOT be natural?

Razieloo · 2024-02-26T15:18:19+00:00

"People hide their shitty behavior behind fake grandiose values" Duh

Soul_vaccine · 2024-02-26T16:37:39+00:00

And women justify it too. I’ve accepted that cheating is pretty normal and to be expected from any human being. People get so bent out of shape about it.

DietTyrone · 2024-02-26T18:06:47+00:00

If a guy cheating doesn't reduce his options, then women are essentially saying "we don't care that he's a cheater, he's still high value." They're the ones that decide whose high value based on the men they flock towards.

And vice versa.

CountMandrake · 2024-02-27T04:47:20+00:00

"Average men continue to be outraged by this perennial female adulation of either sociopaths or extremely good looking men who use them up and move on. They see no rationality in such a warped set of preferences. The key word here is rationality. The default mode of thought in women is not rational, it’s emotive. Criminals and philanderers are interesting and mysterious – that’s the key. It’s irrelevant that they offer no real future. In a nutshell, they’re crass entertainment like ditzy afternoon soaps. (I know so many of you men were certain there was some stunningly profound answer to this question, but there isn’t. Sorry for the letdown.) All of this is exactly what decent men should wage a revolution against. They are the ones called upon to pick up the pieces of shattered relationships and foot an enormous bill as both stepfathers and taxpayers. Today, the staggering cost isn’t just financial in terms of ready-made dads drafted to foot the bill for two or three of another man’s kids (or thousands as taxpayers). The cost is emotional as well. Good men don’t like to admit it – for fear of being pegged as wimpy – but off the record many express deep resentment at having to struggle to build sexual intimacy with women who have been sexually plundered by so many past partners."

Angela Fiori - ‘Feminism’s Third Wave’ -

OrdinaryDifference53 · 2024-03-03T15:26:46+00:00

Most men are single, so how can many men think cheating is high value. They aren't dating anyone.

campskills21 · 2024-02-25T17:59:38+00:00

The guy that says this will not cheat on a girl that he thinks is really pretty and high value and tells him no.

If he’s bringing it up later in the relationship, he’s jealous of his friends that are getting by with it and he’s getting bored with you.

Guys don’t cheat when they respect and love their partner. Guys that cheat and look for it are also secretly very insecure.

If a girl is actively cheating, it is because she likely wishes she had a different partner than her current man.

WarriorGoddess2you · 2024-02-25T21:25:15+00:00

Who’s a Kevin Samuels fan? He’s now deceased. No, I’m not a fan, but I do agree with some.. of his points.

iSubParMan · 2024-02-25T21:32:01+00:00

True.

2024-02-25T21:44:56+00:00

I don’t know any cheater who would actually consider cheating to be alpha high value behavior. Very few cheaters are proud of being cheaters. Most cheaters don’t like to even think of themselves as cheaters.

I have cheated in my past and it’s not alpha high value behavior at all. It’s weak beta fucking ass behavior. The real strong thing to do as a man if you want to fuck other women is to be honest about it and ask for an open relationship rather than sneak around and hide like a coward and betrayal your partner. Being attractive to other women is high value but cheating on your partner isn’t.

Everyone has the ability to cheat. I swear so many dorks on here put pussy on a pedestal. The notion that it’s harder for men to get sex than women has rotted their Brians . Pretty much any dude can get laid a lot. It doesn’t mean you are attractive or high value because the quality of women differs and matters and the pursuit of women differs. It’s far more impressive for a guy to get one high quality women than a guy who gets 50 women who are in some way low Quality. There’s a lot of unattractive guys who have fucked a lot of women and a lot of very attractive high value women who have not fucked a lot of women not because they couldn’t but because they chose not to. The main thing about guys who get laid a lot isn’t that they are so good looking, charming or wealthy ( all of those things matter and the more you have the better ) the main thing is those guys pursue women more, they go out and ask out way more women than most guys do without the fear of rejecting stopping them, they put themselves in more and better positions to get laid and they are typically are less picky. It’s a numbers game, obviously it’s easier for some but anyone can do it. You can be ugly, fat, weird, broke a scumbag because for every guy there are chicks out there that will be down.

Many men think cheating is alpha and high value. Many men justify cheating with these beliefs.

Men believe the ability to cheat means that they are attractive or powerful

Men believe that cheating will put their wives on their toes to behave better

Men also believe that women like to “share men” and that they enjoy a man who cheats and that’s why they may tolerate it

Many men believe that the amount of pain a woman is willing to put up with from them reflects their love

Many men believe that it’s men’s natural instinct to cheat and that boys will be boys and men like variety

Comments

How is he indicating that he has options if he is on a dating app or something and lying that he is single?

Why is cheating considered alpha?

The preselection bias.

Why do men think it is ok to cheat?

Finishing touch

How tf is there pre selection bias if she doesn’t know he has a girlfriend and he’s goofing off on tinder?

Waiting doesn’t mean the guy won’t cheat or isn’t cheating.

Guys who cheat will leave if you dont spread your legs fast.

And it’s kinda funny how you onlt complain about men cheating when women cheat even more.

If he’s lying that he’s single then how the heck are they supposed to know that he’s cheating?

Title	Many men think cheating is alpha and high value. Many men justify cheating with these beliefs.
Author	Economy-Shake-1448
Upvotes	29
Comments	414
Date	February 25, 2024 5:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1aztcfu/many_men_think_cheating_is_alpha_and_high_value/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/many-men-think-cheating-is-alpha-and-high-value.1246401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246401