A constant theme I've noticed among my female friends who use dating apps

VivaIlSesso · 2022-04-26T12:54:51+00:00

Ohh... life in 2022

More-Cat-9226 · 2022-04-26T12:57:20+00:00

This is the natural order of things

The example you layout is a high value male and yes women want that.

Liberaler · 2022-04-26T13:20:29+00:00

Main takeaway from this: Find a girl, that is not (or as little as possible) damaged by this lifestye, if you want to start a relationship.

s29 · 2022-04-26T16:00:34+00:00

Dating apps allows low tier females easy access to higher tier males, that they try to get commitment out of.

Dating apps allow high tier males easy access to lower tier females that are easier to pump and dump.

Alex123_UK · 2022-04-26T13:57:58+00:00

In my experience, the last thing women want is an honest opinion 😄

deeronmylawn · 2022-04-26T15:50:59+00:00

Omg. I literally just finished a long voice note exchange with a lady friend about this! She's hooking up with a (married) rich handsome guy and she's like "why doesn't he cuddle me more? Does he go home to his wife after fucking me and hugs her?..." She's confused and all.

I kept telling her she's just a side chick. She should know her place....

maxpossimpible · 2022-04-26T14:03:12+00:00

I've also thought about this for some time and I have also come to exactly the same conclusion. And it's funny how they don't understand this.

Just 20 minutes ago I saw a 10 year older woman that was a 5/10 on her best day right swipe me (I hadn't right-swiped her). The funny thing was that in her profile she wrote something like what you're friends are saying: "If you're not serious bla bla bla...".

I tell my female friends what's what though. Sure they dislike it but I'm not the guy that's going to sugarcoat reality for them. You're unable to get a relationship because you match with guys that are well outside your league.

hazrat_unmad · 2022-04-26T15:39:36+00:00

I think some of it is also "keeping up with the Joneses." I know some women. For them the people they date is a status symbol. Think about male version of trophy wife. They want to date a man that they can show to their female friends. Even if they don't really like the idea.

It's sad. I hope people can take some moment to self reflect instead of participating in these rat races.

jobbo321 · 2022-04-26T13:54:17+00:00

Yep, seen it so many times. Just go to r/dating. Basically every other post by a girl is them whining about how "All guys just want to use me", while they only try to match with 9/10 attractive dudes who already get a lot of women. They don't realize that they're not special to these attractive guys. Thanks to how testosterone works, they'll only want to fuck and aren't going to start a relationship with them. The girl gets pumped and dumped, and boom: a whiny post gets made about how messed up the dating market is for women.

The only good thing I like from all of this is how none of these girls are rewarded for their behaviour in the long term. To the attractive guy, they'll merely remain sluts he can quickly call up to fuck, nothing more, nothing less. The 2022 dating market giveth and the dating market taketh away.

Themauze · 2022-04-26T14:08:13+00:00

I can already feel the downvotes coming, but If you think you can change your partner, YOU are not the right person for him/her. A real wife/husband will want you for who you are.

RedditorCabron · 2022-04-26T13:51:18+00:00

"I tell them straight up what's going on, they get very upset."

I had the same issue explaining to a few single moms why men wouldn't commit to them. Hell a coworker in his late fifties wouldn't commit to a woman his age because he knew she was doing most of the work raising her grandkids. People hate confronting the truth that is the barrier to getting what they want

SDdude81 · 2022-04-26T15:31:17+00:00

Something I've repeatedly said.

Online dating and apps is one of the worst things to happen to the average man. It makes dating women which was never easy in the first place into something very difficult.

We'd all be better off if it no longer existed.

silverleague_gal · 2022-04-26T15:22:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Shadow__Account · 2022-04-26T13:23:10+00:00

Yeah, because of all the attention all those losers give women and reinforce their bad behaviors they operate in a bubble, way over their value. A lot of men enviously hate on women for that reason, but these women are stuck in their own prison. They behave like idiots, ghost people, have ridiculous stuff in their bio’s, post pictures of their asses and objectify themselves and don’t understand why guys objectify them too and why they will never get the guys they want. We as men have a tougher hill to climb but we are constantly stimulated to Change and do better and when we climbed the hill we’re good and we also developed a whole protocol to keep developing and growing.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2022-04-26T15:21:06+00:00

This is what happens when you give a bunch of gentrified monkeys access to technology

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-04-26T15:01:23+00:00

“I don’t want to settle. I want a high value man”

Meets an actual high value man who has options.

Then:

“Why won’t he commit/he’s probably seeing other girls”

Because there is a difference between an actual, real-World high value man who is desired by many women, and the “high value man” that is promoted on forums like FDS and the Internet.

Real men of value also require value from the women that they choose to settle down with. These type of women are physically attractive, intelligent, and have a sense of independence.

The problem is, there is an echo chamber for women on the Internet, where physically average or slightly above average women are told they’re queens and they shouldn’t settle.

Nice Guys and guys with little experience unfortunately buy into this entirely and give these type of women validation and attention.

When these average women who believe that they’re highly desirable encounter a man who is actually highly desirable, he may give her his time for a fling or causal sex, but in general he’s not going to settle for this woman.

So the woman thinks he’s a player, when in reality he just has options, and is within his rights to explore those options because he isn’t in a relationship with her. Men with options understand this.

However, since she interacted with this desirable man, even though she was a fling or a hookup, she still believes that she is worthy of a long-term relationship with such a man, thus the cycle continues.

So, ask yourself. Which do you want to be? The guy who has options who only will commit to the most beautiful and intelligent women, or be like the majority of guys who put otherwise average and unremarkable women on a pedestal. There really isn’t a middle ground.

T-RuckLover · 2022-04-26T14:59:06+00:00

Girl I hooked up with was like this. "Really nice guy and bought me dinner and the hotel room that night, then he went back to California and ghosted me! Why do men suck?" Uh sweetheart he got sex from you and that's all he wanted plus he has options... (and you gave it to him first night meeting him). To be clear her tinder profile screamed "hookup" and she came over instantly to meet me, yet she complains that men burn her and use her. Look in the fucking mirror and see the problem. No accountability whatsoever.

Storm-Of-Aeons · 2022-04-26T13:31:13+00:00

I am this guy don’t blow my cover bro

Blackmagician · 2022-04-26T14:32:43+00:00

Don’t let women you’re not dating use you as an emotional tampon. Women often just want to vent, they don’t want actual help with fixing the problem. So if you’ve correctly identified they want to complain about the same thing over and over without learning then you’re doing the right thing by brushing it off.

mjornir · 2022-04-26T14:27:57+00:00

my dude you’re right but you are not surrounding yourself with the best women tbh

MentalCelOmega · 2022-04-26T14:07:24+00:00

Its ironic. They complain about there being no good guys yet they constantly go for men on the upper tier of the dominance hierarchy. Then they act surprised when they get used and wonder why they are single when they hit the wall at 30. Bunch of narciscisstic hypocrites. This one of the many reasons why society is collapsing.

Efficient-Evening911 · 2022-04-26T16:10:40+00:00

This not only on dating app even in real life most of them get attached to the guy with a strong social prof that already has plenty of women and foolishly think they can change him to be in a real relationship with him lmao i had this guy as a freind and guss what he told me " dude i have 4 girls all them are assuming i'm in relationship with them without me pulling 1 single word about relationship " one of them literally sucked his dick just to prove that she is a good match for him ... How foolish

-boofit- · 2022-04-26T14:09:28+00:00

Sucks for those girls. They didn’t give that guy a chance 10 years ago when he wasn’t rich and hot so now they have to settle for your hometown highschool football player who “would’ve went pro” .

Men get better as they age, women not so much. I feel no pity for a women who decides to use the most attractive years of their life, hoeing around and breaking guy’s hearts.

DankCommander7 · 2022-04-26T15:49:19+00:00

In the modern dating world women get plenty of attention only to end up being used and abused by chad. Most of these women will end up damaged and alone possibly being knocked up and becoming single moms. One day the wall will hit them and they will need to settle for the company of cats. As things currently are its extremely toxic for women and most men. The only ones who benefit from this are the chads who get everything they want. All of the sex and the fun with many different women pretty much on demand and with little to no real effort and none of the responsibilites of a relationship. Its a party that just never stops for chad.

Suspicious-Sea-7362 · 2022-04-26T13:48:26+00:00

Yes, we are all witnessing the downfall of society. We already see it happening with marriage and birthrates going down.

The modern woman will never be happy. Why would they? They get so used to being with 9/10 guys that when they settle with that 6/10 guy in their 30s they leave behind broken homes and families which continues to perpetuate the cycle.

It's funny how this issue is only discussed in the manosphere, while feminism is all "go get it girl" "never settle"

WanyCaleb · 2022-04-26T14:53:41+00:00

Strangely soothing.

MK0A · 2022-04-26T15:32:26+00:00

Am I supposed to have sympathy for women because of this, because I sure as shit don't.

GotThaAcid5tab · 2022-04-26T13:51:03+00:00

Climbers.. Always on the look out for something better

InfectionRx · 2022-04-26T14:11:57+00:00

🤣

CicyphusRex · 2022-04-26T14:34:20+00:00

Eh, you reap what you sow!

Legitimate_Ninja_777 · 2022-04-26T14:42:44+00:00

Dating can indeed be a huge bummer. Ask your sister or her female friends to look for love on their friends. Cause a wise man once said "love is friendship."

stefjack1000 · 2022-04-26T15:26:48+00:00

And then don’t forget the part where the girl then proceeds to complain that this “dating app thing sucks!”

smoothness69 · 2022-04-26T16:57:20+00:00

I feel like this issue could be solved so easily by the ladies if they instituted a rule of no sex for the first month. That would weed out anyone not seriously interested.

Ragerist · 2022-04-26T15:15:08+00:00

So long and thanks for all the fish!

This post was deleted in protest of the June 2023 API changes

MK0A · 2022-04-26T15:43:21+00:00

This might be the most depressing post on here.

AN71H3RO · 2022-04-26T15:44:16+00:00

It is reality.

Even as a man that is a high earner, most of the time I’m not even thinking of being In a serious relationship with a woman if she is not making a comparable amount of money as me.

Past that, I’m also polyamorous and a lot of people in the south aren’t about that life lmao—so my number of serious partners is limited.

dirk909 · 2022-04-26T17:04:12+00:00

Last paragraph is most important part:

They don't care about facts/ obvious clues and when u point them out you are mean/dumb/ rude (insert all the words like racist, bigot, sexist; you know, all the modern male insults lmao) or "just don't get it!"

It's both sad and comical but once you learn this then you just pet their feelings (I often pet them too for effect depending on situation/ context etc, lol).

Modern women have to literally crash into a wall like 5 times to learn a lesson but even then society teaches her that it's the walls fault for existing in th3 first place so many women simply never learn/ grow from what is simple common sense lesson for many (not all) of us guys.

Always remember its all about their feelings. Good, bad, angry; whatever it is they NEED/ crave to feel it and often dont even understand common sense logic because it's so far from being an emo feeling.

TheRealMe54321 · 2022-04-26T17:26:59+00:00

Just now figured this out? They’ll do this for a few years and then settle for betabux once they hit 28. Dual mating strategy. This is female psychology 101.

The_Wisest · 2022-04-26T13:22:43+00:00

You said a 7/10 at BEST lmaooo wow

Kay1000RR · 2022-04-26T16:05:57+00:00

I was also this guy with a daily rotation of girls. However, one made it clear that if I wanted to continue seeing her we had to be exclusive. At that point, she proved she was all-in and was only asking me to do the same. She communicated her intentions clearly from the moment we met with zero drama or guesswork. Three years later, we're still in a relationship.

tl;dr Communication!

zee_pequeno · 2022-04-26T15:17:22+00:00

It do be like that

originalgainster · 2022-04-26T15:40:12+00:00

Lel dumb girls

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-04-26T15:45:12+00:00

While I think a lot of what you’re saying is hyperbole, the general tone of your message that online dating is overall just connecting the top 10% of men with a steady flow of chicks to bang and never call back is accurate.

It’s why cold approach is such a powerful tool for meeting people for the rest of us.

Hagi89 · 2022-04-26T16:03:49+00:00

I mean I also do this as a male. Just I am the 6-7 and the woman is 5-6-7

Golferama · 2022-04-26T16:10:27+00:00

I would give this post a million golds if I had money

Snakehead004 · 2022-04-26T16:20:45+00:00

Your sisters are associating with the wrong women. I don't have that experience with the women in my life but they, for the most part, have very high EQ.

Edit; wording Eidt: there's one woman in our circle who does this and everyone tries to get her to understand to no avail. Should be the outlier not the norm. Choose new friends.

GETBED · 2022-04-26T16:26:33+00:00

Solution, don't use dating apps. Go out and meet people, it's not easy but it's the best way.

Counter_Proposition · 2022-04-26T16:53:50+00:00

OP, have you tried telling them "Chads are gonna Chad"...?

Because Chads are gonna Chad. </shrug>

Morpheus987 · 2022-04-26T17:04:11+00:00

This is just the circle of life boys.

ODOKADOI · 2022-04-26T17:28:51+00:00

Lol sounds like the guy experience but without sex

BulletReaper · 2022-04-26T17:44:19+00:00

You’ve just described 70% of the women I’m friends with.

One girl I used to live with did this rampantly. Always picked the one dude out of all the dates she had just because he was hot, wealthy, and had a nice car. No matter how many times we tried to explain to her that these guys were just trying to hit it and quit it she just wouldn’t learn.

I avoid women like her.

rustyinterest · 2022-04-26T16:05:42+00:00

A lot of women in this regard are not only frivolous but very thoughtless in regards to their behaviour/attitude towards it, they technically have no reason not to be unfortunately (WaY iT Is)😓 I would specifically say that if your uncomfortable with her talking to you about it, say that, straightforwardly, maybe not in text but being honest in this context is a catch 22, it might offend but will probably get the long term reaction you actually want, ie: not getting bullshit brother advice questions when she doesn’t even know your surname 😂

TheEndTrend · 2022-04-26T17:07:08+00:00

Actual constructive feedback IMO (from a guy that was more-or-less like this in his 20s):

If they want that 9/10 dudes they should date guys in their mid-late 30s that want to settle down, (get married, have kids, all that). Maybe even early 40s.

Highly attractive dudes in their 20s are spoiled for choice and just want to get laid, typically. Start with "what are you looking for" and proceed accordingly. Don't just let them bang straightaway and hope for the best, that will obviously lead to geting fuck-zoned.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-04-26T17:54:40+00:00

lol. I give people the choice of what kind of advice they want to hear. Do you want me to give you my opinion and or suggestions? Do you just need to vent your frustrations to me? Do you need encouragement?

MrMacDoctor · 2022-04-26T17:58:00+00:00

I'm always blunt with the truth bc it hurts in the right way.

Ill-Mouse-6222 · 2022-04-26T18:19:04+00:00

As a female, I have the exact opposite problem. Men are clingy and will not go away

Bossbong · 2022-04-26T19:13:30+00:00

I (M24) see this too. My bois in the back, listen up. In my opinion this behavior is what makes dating apps unusable for men 18-35. I like to think I'm fairly attractive and I take care of myself. Basically that I'm dateable. But I haven't even spoke to a woman near my age that wants a date, instead of $500 to hang out, on any dating apps ever. So I started talking to women in their mid 30s to early 50s IRL and it's been really fun. They actually want to talk and hangout and are generally very realistic with their wants, needs, and expectations.

italyanstyle123 · 2022-04-26T19:41:35+00:00

true story !!! I want share my point of view in few words:

- it was so sweet.. made dish for me.. and don't want to make this official

-I tell them straight up what's going on they get very upset

this is the clear signal that when girls are in love their brain is not working in the way ot was supposed to do.

when they are NOT attracted by you any very little thing (sometimes immaginary) you do it is a reason for rejection :)

I'm not criticizing girls it's a fact that many experience...

2022-04-26T19:58:39+00:00

So? Men act silly when hot women are around. If a hot girl was letting you hit and giving you that amount of contact, you'd be trying to lock it down.

How is men's situation any different from women's, except that women can get farther with men?

At the end of the day, we all want to have sex with the hottest of our species.

SunnySideAttitude · 2022-04-26T13:50:24+00:00

As soon as she starts talking kids or marriage! Ouutaa there!

nightimelurker · 2022-04-26T18:17:43+00:00

This is actually exact reason i don't do dating anymore. Its impossible to find someone who is open minded and just wants to have fun.

All i find is women who say they want serious relation immediately or something.

LordFlanders · 2022-04-26T18:44:05+00:00

Spot on, only the "All men are assholes" part after being dumped again is missing.

UnfunnyTroll · 2022-04-26T16:06:44+00:00

Time for the blackpill my friend

mokillem · 2022-04-26T15:02:15+00:00

I think this is a lie most men tell themselves. Most women i've met are in a relationship.

spanktravision · 2022-04-26T16:05:00+00:00

Tell them straight up what's happening. They can't fix what they don't know.

Counter_Proposition · 2022-04-26T16:55:40+00:00

It puts me in an awkward spot because when I tell them straight up what's going on, they get very upset.

Because they know you're right.

Truth hurts, but IMHO you owe it to your sisters to be honest with them.

Edit: Re-reading this I think (hope?) you mean your sisters' friends, but not your sisters themselves.

Alecstocker · 2022-04-26T16:59:20+00:00

Same here. They ask me for the truth but really don't want to hear it. The problem is a lot of these male catches have so many options that they don't want to settle down. My sister was with one of these catches awhile back. She held off on sex for 4 months knowing he prob had others. He came after her like crazy. Flowers. Attention. Just lavished her with texts. Calls. Gifts. I think that alone is a red flag at the beginning imo. But once she got physical he ghosted her. So he is one of those guys that plays the game and is having fun. If he were a guy wanting to commit then my sister could have been the one. Maybe maybe not. Relationships so unpredictable and confusing. No formula for success.

ErenYDidNothingWrong · 2022-04-26T17:04:51+00:00

What do you tell them? Have you told them straight: “he is using your for sex” ?

Hdgallagher · 2022-04-26T17:21:04+00:00

sleep rainstorm engine close thumb full rude market mighty relieved

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

SummerSplash · 2022-04-26T17:21:25+00:00

Very good summary of events :)

Ihvenoshrtgeofusrnms · 2022-04-26T18:05:31+00:00

And here I am looking for something real and I can't get past the 1-3 date stage

tryingmybestatm · 2022-04-26T18:36:39+00:00

this is why u dont put a ring on anyone, you never know..

Chance_Zone_8150 · 2022-04-26T19:11:18+00:00

Thats the triangle of life when dealing with anyone top tier. If your a dude she gonna ignore you and use you. If your a woman hes gonna fuck you then ignore you.

Ill-Mouse-6222 · 2022-04-26T19:13:37+00:00

Um being in the “fuckzone” with a traveling physician sounds like a dream come true. I can good sex and have time to work on my life and career with out a needy boyfriend.

a6project · 2022-04-26T19:26:44+00:00

Dang he sounds like me lol

weerg · 2022-04-26T19:37:30+00:00

So whats the answer for a 31 year never dated since he was born qnd can't get out the house due to mental health supposed to get a gf since time is running out 🤣😂

Few-Specialist5317 · 2022-04-26T19:50:31+00:00

I learned early on that from the first meeting only 2 outcomes exist: 1. Live happily ever after. 2. Break up and move along.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-04-26T20:20:04+00:00

Hit the nail right on the head. When you have multiple options, you're not just going to settle for any one girl who gives you attention. You're going to hold out until you find one who ticks all the boxes, not just the "hot enough to fuck" box. In the meantime, you're going to fuck as many as you can because why wouldn't you?

That's been my experience at least.

duracellforreal · 2022-04-26T20:20:14+00:00

What did the post say?

Title	A constant theme I've noticed among my female friends who use dating apps
Author	Everlast23
Upvotes	660
Comments	280
Date	April 26, 2022 12:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ucbsud/a_constant_theme_ive_noticed_among_my_female/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-constant-theme-ive-noticed-among-my-female.1261150 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261150

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