I’m losing a lot of the bitterness I had as teen / young adult because I’m realizing that most women actually do desire masculinity and enforce gender norms

Growing up being told how awful masculinity and gender norms are. And then wondering why I never make it past the “friends” stage with women.

Truth is, most women won’t date a man who earns less. Or who is shorter than her. Most women still won’t pursue men (despite all the messaging to leave women alone, they still want to be pursued instead of doing the pursuing). Most of the time it will be harder for them to be attracted to a man who appears very weak (scrawny or obese). Won’t really want to date a man without a lot of status (status of any kind a basically they don’t want to date losers for the most part). They don’t like pushovers or “submissive” men for the most part - they like men who are able to take charge.

Truth is, most women want a man who they feel safe around. One who knows where he’s going, can take charge, and make the woman feel safe. They want men to pursue them, they arent going to pursue you. They won’t be anything more than friends with a man who puts his life aside to put the woman on a pedestal. Because that’s putting the man in a feminine frame and the woman in a masculine frame.

So now that I’m older, I realize it’s perfectly healthy and natural to be masculine and women do enforce gender norms. Despite all the lies growing up, men and women are wired the way we are for a reason.