Is it really so bad if virgin guys are forced to go for women with experience?

illusoryfindings · 2024-05-29T19:40:56+00:00

It's not, it's just an emotionally delicate thing for both genders. The biggest issue I can see these guys running into is that women, generally speaking, view inexperience as unattractive.

You're going to find a lot of girls will be put off by nervous, tentative energy, especially if you feel you need a lot of patience, reassurance, and guidance going into it. They might be into you initially, but then switch up after detecting this energy about you.

There are some women who don't mind it, some are even into it, but they're quite rare, so in order to find them you have to make a busy social calendar for yourself and meet lots of new people as often as you can, to give yourself a solid chance.

I was a late bloomer in life, and at some point I decided to stop telling women I was a virgin and just acted like I knew what I was doing, even though I didn't. This allowed me a solid few months of experience catch up, because I wasn't getting rejected for being a virgin anymore lol

Hoopy223 · 2024-05-29T19:42:48+00:00

Going by your title no of course not. Its just life.

Sometimes those guys get hurt/frustrated because it ends with “he’s a sweet guy, he treats me great but he’s bad in bed so I’m dumping him for the guy who is good in bed but terrible at everything else” lol.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-05-29T19:34:53+00:00

I lost my virginity to a friend who had been experienced for a while. She decided she wanted to do me a solid. I was more “holy crap, this is actually happening” than anything

VWGUYWV · 2024-05-29T22:01:23+00:00

If I was an older virgin, I wouldn’t tell women I was dating. Watch some how to and read about sex and you’ll probably be about average.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-05-29T19:35:06+00:00

How are they being forced? At gunpoint?

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-05-29T22:59:04+00:00

It's because women prefer someone who has more experience than they do.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-05-29T19:42:51+00:00

Tbh I lost my virginity to a virgin and it was sweet we were dating we loved eachother but the experience itself wasn’t anything to write home about.

It’s only a “bad experience” if you hyperfixate on your lack of experience vs. her experience.

Things like this are only a big deal if you make it a big deal. No one’s first time is 100% ideal even if you’re in ideal circumstances. I’m not saying be wreckless and don’t value sex at all.

BUT HONESTLY the best sex of your life will be after your first time. I wouldn’t build it up or expect it to be perfect because it won’t be.

Just make sure it’s with someone you trust that isn’t going to be an asshole to you

CradleCity · 2024-05-29T20:00:34+00:00

The women I've felt genuinely attracted to were older and more experienced. We're fine, OP.

Now, if only more women were forgiving/accepting of virgin guys...

That being said, it's fine for virgin people to to have their first time with other virgin people, should the coincidence happen. What matters is that there is genuine attraction between the two.

chifuyu-kun- · 2024-05-30T01:01:39+00:00

Of course it's bad. Forcing anyone to do anything is always bad.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2024-05-29T20:30:52+00:00

I am fully convinced that the whole "seek out someone as inexperienced as yourself" thing is deliberately bad faith advice.

"Eliminate women your own age with normal sexual histories from your dating pool" is exactly what I'd tell a late bloomer if I wanted him to die a virgin and that's exactly why they're saying it. If you find a normal girlfriend and catch up with your peers you won't be listening to redpill/blackpill podcasts and it'll be harder to sell you shit.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-05-29T19:58:23+00:00

Experience in sex is overrated. Idea of "first time" as something super-special is overrated even more. Especially for men. Your attitude, desire to make her feel good, willingness to pay attention and some theoretical knoweldge is far more important and enough to be good at it from get go. You have to be unfeeling golem, have totally wrong ideas about sex, not be ready for it or face horrible unfeeling woman for things to go bad. Those potential problem you should be focus on.

Good_Result2787 · 2024-05-29T19:28:14+00:00

This is yet another of those things that is up to you how you see it. Part of that will be influenced by how your experience goes compared to your expectations. For example if you have a good and understanding "teacher" or not.

But don't get too hung up on whether other people think this is bad or good. I know this is a debate sub, so I get it when some questions come up here. But I think a lot of people these days are very concerned with a sort of "what will the neighbors think?" kind of mentality. You can really drive yourself to distraction with too much of this.

Zabadoodude · 2024-05-29T20:00:46+00:00

It's certainly preferable to not losing it at all. Virgins make a big deal out of their first time, but it's usually not that memorable.

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-05-31T17:19:21+00:00

Women in general do not want virgin/inexperienced guys even older/ leftover women

MelodicCrow2264 · 2024-05-29T19:49:00+00:00

Why tf would you want your first time to be with some women who’s been run through?

63daddy · 2024-05-29T20:06:18+00:00

Virgin men aren’t forced to go for experienced women. They can go for whomever they want or not including staying virgins.
I think the merits of going for a virgin are way over stated. I think most men prefer someone who’s good in bed and that comes with experience.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-05-29T20:08:17+00:00

I lost my v card to a more experienced woman, and I can’t say it was a bad experience. She taught me a lot of things bedroom-wise.

Tobor_Xes240 · 2024-05-29T20:55:43+00:00

It’s really awesome for the guy. More often than not, it sucks for the woman since she’s had better.

More than that, no small part of a guy’s SMV comes from his ability to recruit partners. Since virgins-by-circumstance have never been chosen, their SMV takes a huge hit - and some women take it very poorly when they find themselves linked (physically or socially) with a low SMV guy.

egalitarian-flan · 2024-05-29T19:32:30+00:00

It's been said here before that guys would be much more comfortable having their first experiences with a woman who is also a virgin as well.

I've always doubted this, only because if both people don't know what they're doing it seems like the experience wouldn't be as good. Sounds preferable for one of the people to have some experience, rather than a simultaneous awkward fumbling.

I chose to go for women more experienced than me, mostly because I didn't think it was possible to find a virgin woman likely.

How did that go for you?

However, I wonder if having to do it this way is really so horrible for most guys. In a sense it's learning the hard way where the guy is more the student, but it's still learning, and experience.

I don't think it's a bad experience unless you feel forced into it. Otherwise, whether it's an older partner, a more experienced partner, or a paid sex worker, if it's that person's choice it's all good.

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Naraksama · 2024-05-29T19:45:58+00:00

To be honest, if you want someone experienced to take the lead during sex, it's totally fine to go for someone experienced. Some do like that and most of them are submissive to a certain degree. But, if you want to fumble around with someone that has as little experience as you... go for it? I don't understand what you want.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2024-05-29T19:48:40+00:00

It's been said here before that guys would be much more comfortable having their first experiences with a woman who is also a virgin as well.

I really don't think most men here or anywhere actually think this.

I chose to go for women more experienced than me,

Like I said.

However, I wonder if having to do it this way is really so horrible for most guys.

I don't think that it is and, again, I don't think most guys really see it as an issue at all.

In a sense it's learning the hard way where the guy is more the student,

The only 'hard' about it is the erection part. I truly fail to see how this is 'the hard way' in any sense.

So I wonder therefore, is this way really so bad?

I've never seen anyone say it was bad in any way.

FreitasAlan · 2024-05-30T01:31:05+00:00

It's just a preference in the usual category of "purity" (for lack of a better word) men have. As with all preferences, once reality hits, men and women start making all kinds of concessions. If anything, I think the only problem is when people convince themselves and each other not only that the opposite sex will make concessions but also that they do not have this preference at all. Often trying to silence anyone who tries to say the preference exists. At some point, men and women stop making concessions because they'd rather be single forever than the alternative. At scale, this causes many problems regarding declining demographics, more crime, and loneliness.

Patient_Recording_96 · 2024-05-30T07:21:05+00:00

We cannot force virgin men into getting together with experienced women.

I nowadays believe that most of the times men with low body count sell women with low body count and men with high body count seek women with high body count.

PapaiPapuda · 2024-05-31T03:34:51+00:00

Virgins don't put out..

bootyhunter69420 · 2024-05-31T11:11:47+00:00

As long as she is completely loyal and hadn't slept with anyone I know, I would rather be with the experienced woman especially if she has a high sex drive

Werevulvi · 2024-05-31T18:57:11+00:00

Nah I think that's totally fine. Some women prefer men with more or similar amount of experience, but I think what most women really want is a guy who's considerate in bed, willing to listen and learn, cares about her pleasure, is being safe, respects her boundaries, etc. I think a lot of people just associate that with experience, but there's not actually any correlation. It's a mindset and has a lot more to do with personality and personal priorities, imo.

Fyi I have been with several less experienced men, including at least one virgin, and a guy who had only been with other men before. It didn't bother me in the least. It made me feel grateful and honored that they wanted me to be their first and to help guide them through such an intimate and vulnerable experience. I have a fairly high body count but I honestly enjoy being a teacher in the bedroom.

Besides, inexperienced men are less likely to be convinced women "must like x, y and z" and more likely to be curious and explorative, and that can lead to quite some mind-blowing sex imo. Experienced guys are sometimes very narrow-minded and set in their ways, and that can be kinda frustrating. Especially since it seems I like certain types of touch that very few women like. So getting a stubborn guy who's like "but all the women I've been with it liked it that way" to do it differently with me can be a struggle. A virgin isn't (likely) gonna have such a bias.

That said though, I don't actually care however much or little experience a guy has, as long as he has a high libido and is capable of listening.

2024-06-01T07:37:15+00:00

But how are virgin guys being forced to go for women with experience. Yes, a lot of adult women will have had sex, by the time we reach our 20s, but meeting a virgin woman isn't as rare as ppl think. I'm 27, and didn't have sex until I was 26, and know other ladies who were late bloomers as well.

Plus why is the focus on a womans sexual past? Like how does one go about finding a virgin woman anyway, because it's not something that's appropriate to ask.

Nyanpireeee · 2024-06-02T07:28:18+00:00

Hold up. Nobody is being “forced”. At least I hope not. That’s SA. Do I have to call someone?

Jk. I know that you mean guys being left with only non virgin opinions in dating. Regardless, if that’s not good enough, they can always just be single. It’s really not bad. I like being single because I don’t have to have anxiety ab partners.

I would also like to point out, that unless one dude has been screwing literally everyone, or all these non virgin women are screwing other women, men have been messing around too.

I think it’s silly for someone who’s not a virgin to expect a virgin. I don’t understand why it’s more socially acceptable for guys to sleep around when they are more likely to spread STDs (women are more susceptible to them.)

I’m a virgin, and probably will be for a long time since I’m very cautious of who to trust, but when it comes to eventually finding a lifelong partner, I honestly don’t gaf about virginity as long as they have no nasties.

Granted, I wouldn’t like someone who’s screwed the entire block, but I don’t understand judging someone for their past, if their experiences occurred in committed relationships and they have no STDs. I personally wouldn’t date someone who’s slept around with strangers because that is a sign of poor judgment to me; but it’s kind of hypocritical when people who’ve done the same thing absolutely refuse to date someone who has.

The virginity obsession scares me a little to be honest. My mom tells me a lot about how her friend’s daughters go off to college and get in a relationship where they’re really in love and end up losing their virginity thinking it’s a lifelong thing only for dude to zipp off right after. If something like that were to happen to me, I’d be worried other guys or girls wouldn’t wanna date me and I’d be “ruined” somehow.

I have always been very cautious and willing to wait to make sure I can trust the person, but in the one relationship i did have, there was a lot of pressure. It was wlw, I’ve heard straight relationships have more pressure. I never budged but, if I was really in love, I could see that pressure being hard to cope with.

I do think that virgins are not too uncommon if people date young. But do the virgins want you? They probably want another virgin. I do still think the virginity obsession is wierd tho.

Imissjuicewrld999 · 2024-05-29T19:39:04+00:00

Im attracted to women who have a ton of sex and are promiscuous and im not sure why.

I dont think its a bad thing really, but idk if women with tons of experience would think a virgin guy would be fun. I had one girl in my life try to have sex with me, and she knew i was a virgin, and she said "itd be fun cause we can be really innocent" or some crazy shit like that, we ended up just kinda touching each other and stuff. We didnt have sex.

It also ruined our friendship and she had a bf and was pregnant. I didnt know about all that.

But anyway, finding a virgin at this age is unlikely, the women here are predictably going to start shaming and stuff so get ready for that. But the women here are mostly Victorian-style prudes who hate sex and want it outlawed. They want men to bottle up their sexuality, while women can be more open going around slutting out but men must all wear suits and operate like drones.

Bikerbats · 2024-05-29T19:41:38+00:00

What's bad about it dude? I'm actually very glad the girl that took my virginity was far from a virgin herself. It was a mind-blowing experience, and I thought I'd discovered America. I don't think it could have been nearly as awesome if we were both fumbling virgins.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-05-30T00:30:41+00:00

its actually insane and the opposite of all of human sexual history. men routinely had mistresses who were like fallen women, visited prostitutes and had sex with sluts under the bleachers in the lean years before marriage

Scarce12 · 2024-05-30T04:56:01+00:00

Yes it is because, if you go with an experienced woman, you can get the wrong impression about sex and not experience the joy of it.

There's no excitement or fun with an experienced woman, the sex is like a flat battery in terms of chemistry.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-05-29T19:49:51+00:00

No, it’s not horrible. You’re best off having sex with someone you really admire, regardless of whether they are a virgin.

rapsk · 2024-05-29T20:01:00+00:00

I think it might even be a non-consensus on whether or not a virgin guy would prefer a girl with zero experience. Doesn't matter much though because it will be a majority of women who prefer a non-virgin regardless of their own experience level.

AnalSexIsTheBest8-- · 2024-05-29T20:15:52+00:00

I'd very much like an experienced woman, but I fear those either won't be interested in an inexperienced man, or will have too high expectations from me and be disappointed.

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-05-29T20:24:04+00:00

Nah man, better to learn with the experts. That being said, just because a woman has had a lot of sex doesn't mean she's good at it. My first time had like a body count of 5 boyfriends without counting hook ups and she is soooo bad at the deed and I only realized it once I had sex with a woman who knew what she was doing

DarayRaven · 2024-05-29T19:34:41+00:00

I don't understand this notion honestly

If a woman is experienced, that means she's more confident expressing her sexuality

Don't you guys like crazy women ? Because l sure do

boom-wham-slam · 2024-05-29T20:35:02+00:00

"Go for" in terms of casual sex? Nah not so bad. "Go for" in terms of wife an experienced girl. Yes terrible.

BrainMarshal · 2024-05-29T19:56:10+00:00

You wanna commit romantic suicide that's your choice man.

pop442 · 2024-05-29T19:48:10+00:00

Honestly, just buy a ticket to the Dominican Republic, go to Sosua, get your freak on with the ladies there, and then use your experience down there to level up your sexual skill back to the U.S.

Problem solved.

Trouvette · 2024-05-29T19:58:53+00:00

I wish my first was with an experienced guy looking back. It took us two virgins well over a year to really figure things out.

SilentFroggy · 2024-05-29T20:22:15+00:00

It’s bad but world isn’t fair. Just seems like desperation if they’re looking at anything serious with these type of women

apresonly · 2024-05-29T21:23:38+00:00

yes that sounds awful

no one should be forced into anything in dating

superlurkage · 2024-05-29T22:16:12+00:00

No. And, unlike women, men can use sex workers to gain experience

saving_private_ryan_ · 2024-05-29T22:36:44+00:00

We're fucked.

NerdyGirlLeni · 2024-05-30T01:53:20+00:00

Had my first time with a non virgin, wasnt a big deal tho. I still had her screaming at the end of it and she hasnt looked back

Title	Is it really so bad if virgin guys are forced to go for women with experience?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	9
Comments	178
Date	May 29, 2024 7:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1d3kh91/is_it_really_so_bad_if_virgin_guys_are_forced_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-really-so-bad-if-virgin-guys-are-forced-to.1519950 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519950

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