Which Type of Partner Do You prefer

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-03T19:33:39+00:00

The 2nd. If I have chosen my partner correctly and done my homwork, we will rarely disagree for big things that could destroy our relationship

ComfortableJeans · 2025-01-03T20:08:08+00:00

If you doubt men will overwhelmingly choose the second woman, the internet has warped your perception of men into an unrealistic, demonization.

Even here, in PDP, where a significant percentage of users are socially maladapted in some way, people are going to majority pick Partner 2.

I would pick the second woman.

fucksiclepizza · 2025-01-03T19:19:06+00:00

Definitely 2. I want a partner not someone who will follow me around and do what I say. They need to be their own person and have their own thoughts and ideas.

wtknight · 2025-01-03T19:30:45+00:00

Have a partner who occasionally disagrees with you, stands her ground, and won’t always go along with what you want.

This one. Because having a partner who goes along with what you want but ends up miserable is not a pleasant experience. Happy wife, happy life.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-01-03T19:21:16+00:00

2nd one. Just like a best friend, I want some who will call me out when needed: not go over the cliff knowing it’s a bad moves.

Illustrious-Baker775 · 2025-01-03T23:28:47+00:00

I feel like i end up differing from most people on here, not even just guys, but i dont date someone to turn them into my perfect girlfriend, i date someone because i like who they are, and who i am around them. If youre dating someone for who they are, then you should give them as many opportunities to be themself as possible. No rules. If i dont enjoy your presence, i dont even spend time trying to hook up, im back to spending time with my friends. If I DO enjoy your presence, i would rather it be authenticly from you, not how you think i want you to behave.

So i dont disagree with my girlfriends often. And if i did disagree with her, i would never expect her to cave into what I want, because i want it. We either understand eachother, and can flex to eachother needs, when we need them. Or we dont, and the relationship doesnt work.

If i wanted/needed to move cities, i wouldnt expect my girlfriend to come with me unless it was something she would have wanted with or without me. If my girlfriend wanted to move cities, and I didnt, i would want her to go without me, and we would likely break up, but if this is someone that i actually care about, them being happy without me means more to me then them being with me, wishing they could have been somewhere else.

addings0 · 2025-01-04T08:41:26+00:00

I would chose 1, and let her have the agency of the second. She's proven her loyalty.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-01-03T20:11:39+00:00

Definitely 2.

I can't stand dating pushovers. I tried it once and ended up walking all over her to the point I felt bad. I had no frame of reference for whether or not anything I did was truly liked or appreciated. I had no idea what she wanted. I had no idea what she truly liked because everything was always good or interesting. She rarely had ideas and when she did they were generic. My judgment isn't perfect and I need someone who's going to push back and stress test my ideas, and prevent me from making mistakes when I miss something.

Dating someone like #2 forces you to negotiate, compromise, and find the best solution, and sometimes that means a solution that isn't the one either of you propose initially in a conflict.

hotpotato128 · 2025-01-03T19:36:32+00:00

Gravel_Roads · 2025-01-03T20:44:56+00:00

2, for sure. I have a strong personality. I need someone who can stand up to it.

-Kalos · 2025-01-03T21:36:42+00:00

I want a partner, not a child

MikeArrow · 2025-01-03T22:40:54+00:00

I'd say my first girlfriend was like the first example, but I didn't know it at the time. Looking back, she pushed me sometimes but most of the time she let me have my way. I was pretty happy with that, the only time it annoyed me was when I would try and get her to decide on things, but because of her anxiety she would just defer to me (so that no choice was ever 'wrong'). That was her nature and I eventually understood how to find compromise.

All of this to say, I think I'd prefer the first example, but I would rely on myself to check in with her and make sure she was ok with it.

KayRay1994 · 2025-01-03T22:54:45+00:00

2 - I like a partner who’s their own individual and who’s able to not only stand up for themselves, but make their wants/needs clear. Ass kissing is also incredibly unattractive to me

man-frustrated · 2025-01-03T19:18:06+00:00

I'd prefer the first in the sense that I always get the final say if we reach an impasse, but that doesn't mean I'd never compromise.

Slutty_Mudd · 2025-01-03T19:46:54+00:00

Most likely 2, but that doesn't mean I want a disagreeable partner either. I want her to respect my opinion as I would respect hers.

stands her ground, and won’t always go along with what you want.

This makes me uneasy though, because it makes me think that she isn't going to make any sacrifices, or if she does, it'll only be on very small or nonconsequential things. That would bother me. We are equals, and I will make any reasonable sacrifice for her, and I would expect her to do the same for me.

treadmarks · 2025-01-03T20:06:05+00:00

If somebody is making more sacrifices, that could be because they want you more than you want them. That is not an ideal situation. If both aren't making sacrifices for the relationship, it means somebody isn't really attracted and committed to the other.

M3taBuster · 2025-01-03T20:12:49+00:00

Looking at this from a purely self-interested perspective, the danger with option 1 is that if your partner never voiced her unhappiness, she'd build resentment over time and it would surely manifest in a way that negatively impacted you eventually (such as no sex/affection, cheating, etc.).

Maybe you could counteract that if you were really perceptive and responsible enough to be a good steward of the power you held in the relationship, making compromises voluntarily even when it's not asked for, and knowing your partner well enough to never let her get too unhappy even without her voicing her feelings, but it's a big risk.

If that could all somehow be guaranteed, I think most men would obviously choose the 1st option, but that wouldn't be the case in the real world even if you managed to find a partner that submissive and self-sacrificing, which is unrealistic to begin with.

LostWanderer88 · 2025-01-04T04:19:39+00:00

I don't want a nightmare of a relationship, so 1

That said, I still would try to make her happy as much as I could. So probably that's the reason I'll never find 1

nnuunn · 2025-01-04T06:42:06+00:00

1 would be preferable, though I think you'd just have to learn to tolerate 2, since there aren't too many women around who will tolerate living like 1.

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nocommentacct · 2025-01-03T20:10:11+00:00

I love having a 2. It’s important however that we both have our areas where the other follows the lead on it and doesn’t interfere too much.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-01-03T22:12:52+00:00

I'll probably go with type 2. It's a much healthier relationship and still feels loving and important to both partners. You can find a compromise on many things, and if it is mutual, then everything is even better.

Type 1 seems too fake. This gives off some kind of strange yandere vibe. I can’t say that this is fundamentally disgusting, and if it suits both, then in principle it can work even for me (although type 1 is still a favorite).

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-01-03T23:07:44+00:00

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal at for most men, so either one I guess.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-01-03T23:58:53+00:00

The second one. I've dated a hot, sexual woman who only followed my lead on things. The first time I saw her make a decision was 6 months in when she said she wanted to sit outside on the patio of the bar than inside, but immediately admitted it was just because she saw an ex inside.

That's when I knew she wasn't what I was looking for.

Nenntsich · 2025-01-04T02:00:21+00:00

Most would prefer a 2. But I’ve never met a 2 dating.

It’s either: 1. Anxiety, wants you to coddle them. You make the decisions, like where to go out to eat or other important ones. Even if upset, they’ll ignore it in favor of keeping the peace sometimes, but not very well. Builds resentment. What you don’t understand about 1. is that many women WANT to be in the position where they don’t deal with decisions/pressure. Honestly turns me off as a guy how many I meet like this. I’m trying to date adults damn it.

Or 2. Extremely combative and argumentative for no damn reason. Everything you do is wrong/needs to be corrected or needs to be argued over. My way or high way. You’re always as fault. Basically narcissistic. The only compromise comes from your end, god forbid they meet you halfway.

I’ve never met a girl with a healthy 2 like you described. It’s always, never wanting to make any decisions, or wanting to control every decision. No in between laughably. I pray I meet a healthy 2 like you describe. Prolly won’t happen tho. Would like to note I’ve seen a 1 transform into a bad 2, and a few with other traits.

meisterkraus · 2025-01-04T02:10:58+00:00

How is number 2 going about disagreeing with me? Is she an effective communicator? What do these compromises look like? Does she later hold the fact that she didn't get her way over me?

I want a partner so 2 is where I would start but depending on the answers to the above given the binary choice 1 could be better.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-01-04T12:53:20+00:00

2nd all the way, can't stand slavish people

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-04T15:45:38+00:00

I’m not a fan of this binary, but I suppose I’d have to pick one since I want the final say in our household and family. I’m not super into the whole “always do as I say shit”. But for the big decisions, I will be making them. Frankly, my wife prefers it that way and I will happily take on the responsibility and consequences should things not work out.

Flash_4_Crab · 2025-01-04T22:43:09+00:00

False dichotomy. Just because the man has the final say doesn't mean the woman is going to be making more sacrifices.

But to answer your question. 1 and it's not a preference it's a deal breaker.

TheNattyJew · 2025-01-05T03:50:34+00:00

I admittedly have a boneheaded idea every so often. It would be nice to have option 2 to help me be aware of when those ideas happen. I would hope that the woman I am in a LTR with would have some wits about her

desiringyouall8 · 2025-01-05T09:21:10+00:00

All relationships (romantic or otherwise) should be rooted in some kind of reciprocity, so the rule of thumb is to try and make the sacrifices each person makes for the other as balanced as possible in the long term. At the beginning of the relationship especially, in general both men and women expect the man to initiate and give more, but at the same time the woman should eventually reciprocate, and over time who initiates should even out.

Whether or not someone should or shouldn't disagree isn't really a good question, since that's more a matter of prudence: I would say that I would prefer a partner who disagrees with my leadership for the right reasons, at the right times, in the right way, on the right things, and in general approaches disagreements with respect and tact. Prudence is perfected by counsel, and even if I'm expected to make the final decision, in most situations the best decisions are make by all the parties involved pooling their knowledge together in order to come up with the most rational decision they can conceive.

Hadal_Benthos · 2025-01-03T22:05:20+00:00

Number one. She should make her preferences known though (BECAUSE I WILL IT AND SHE'S OBLIGED TO OBEY ACCORDING TO CONDITIONS SET BY OP, to prevent OP from somehow weaseling away this point). I don't have to always have my way, in many cases it's better to have her happier. But in the matters important for me I want the final say.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2025-01-04T07:28:26+00:00

If all I wanted was a companion who looked pretty, was dependent, and obeyed commands, I'd get a Labrador Retriever, not a girlfriend.

Kreeps_United · 2025-01-04T11:30:39+00:00

Two. I wouldn't be with her if I didn't respect her ability to think for herself.

veldehcat · 2025-01-03T19:13:27+00:00

I'd rather die

James_M_Croft · 2025-01-13T13:33:46+00:00

the second is a partner, the first a slave.

If both are the same looks and the same sexual behavior, I prefer the second.

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-01-03T20:48:14+00:00

Definitely 1. My happiness is paramount. I’m only getting in a LTR/marriage if she’s fully on my program.

Not to say she can’t have an opinion or raise her concerns. But ultimately I get the final say or the relationship just wouldn’t seem worth it to me. What’s the point of responsibility without authority

Throw_r_a_2021 · 2025-01-03T20:51:29+00:00

would you rather get what you want or compromise?

Bro you cannot convince me that all the blue/purple pilled men saying they just love compromising aren’t white knighting so hard right now.

just_a_place · 2025-01-04T03:49:08+00:00

I don't think most men are interested in "partners" or relationships at this point. Literally the only reason we pay attention to women at all anymore is purely hormonal. Because we are just hard wired to do so, like an addiction that we can't help. If we could, we would turn off our attraction to women in a heartbeat because the aggravation that this attraction brings us has been excruciating lately and it's only getting worse and worse.

So when it comes to having a partner, I think that I - like most men today - would say fuck that! I prefer being alone.

Both examples in your question sound like shit deals, both are equally aggravating, burdensome, and just not worth it.

redandswollen · 2025-01-03T20:40:08+00:00

2nd. But she's got to be a little submissive. A domineering woman is a major pain in the ass.

TheButcher797 · 2025-01-04T02:14:07+00:00

2 but only if they can follow my lead in dangerous situations.

giveuporfindaway · 2025-01-03T20:42:41+00:00

Relationships only work when:

A): Both partners are arguing alternative ways to achieve the same goal. This is just a disagreement about methodology, which is healthy.

B): It also works when one partner accepts being totally submissive.

It doesn't work when two partners are both dominant.

S 1) is B). and 2) does not work.

edgyny · 2025-01-03T19:02:31+00:00

I prefer the second but frankly I'll always get my way unless she's right (very rare).

Title	Which Type of Partner Do You prefer
Author	HotOutcome9161
Upvotes	6
Comments	113
Date	January 3, 2025 6:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hstzwz/which_type_of_partner_do_you_prefer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/which-type-of-partner-do-you-prefer.1540232 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540232

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