CMV: Men pretend to not notice hints so they can continue putting in the bare minimum

k0unitX · 2025-06-15T21:52:00+00:00

This Tiktok really encapsulates how insufferable the average American woman is

Logos1789 · 2025-06-15T17:33:54+00:00

If people want something, they should ask for it.

It’s unreasonable for people to insist that their lives play out like a novel or a movie.

It’s main character syndrome. Your life is not important. Unless you’re one of the rare few people who make pivotal discoveries for humanity or something, the world would get on perfectly fine without you.

You’re addicted to perceived serendipity and spontaneity.

Euphoric_Smell7128 · 2025-06-15T17:33:38+00:00

Because men are not women’s slaves even in relationships. If you want something open your damn mouth and say it.

Teflon08191 · 2025-06-15T19:19:01+00:00

"Women tell guys EXACTLY what they want with subtle hints."

That's...kind of a stupid sentence.

Because you're either telling guys EXACTLY what you want, or you're giving subtle hints. Maybe when men pretend not to notice said subtle hints, they're doing it because they're sick of tolerating a cowardly form of communication?

Artear · 2025-06-15T19:08:57+00:00

Consider communicating using your words instead of passive-aggressive gestures. You're a human being, not a monkey.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-06-15T19:58:33+00:00

Women: Men are bad at communication, women are way better at it

Also women: This shit.

John_Oakman · 2025-06-15T20:35:12+00:00

Well why would the men in question change their behavior when there's no real/material consequences to their actions/inactions? Dude's still in a relationship, or if he got dumped after this he had been in a relationship (and the implicit vetting of that would make acquiring a subsequent relationship easier).

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-06-15T18:29:08+00:00

Nah. Be a big girl/boy and tell things. I hate hints as I might value different things and interpret it differently. Not to mention that I might interpret the same thing in myriad of ways and get analysis paralysis, so telling me clearly what you mean is more valuable.

Also, heck do I know, maybe those dead flowers have a purpose for you as you haven't thrown them out for three weeks. And as I have gifted you those flowers - they are your property. And I won't touch it without your consent.

You also seem to put less than bare minimum as for me clear communication is the bare minimum.

DoctorButtocks · 2025-06-15T17:32:28+00:00

The man doesnt care about flowers. She does. It seems like a problem she should take care of, especially if it's not essential to cohabitation.

Women are typically more needy and men are expected to facilitate those extra needs for some reason. Almost as if being himself is never good enough for her.

ComfortableJeans · 2025-06-15T17:44:26+00:00

Truthfully, I think using flowers is a terrible example for this situation.

Flowers have never been my department. I honestly don't even think to look at flowers in my house. They get absolutely zero attention from me. I wouldn't even notice if they were desiccated.

I wouldn't have expected my partner to sharpen the blades of my kitchen knives, even if she were using them and noticed that they were blunted. Just because I'm the ones who cooks and cares about the knives.

It's not because any of these women I've loved have been lazy. But just because I'm knives and they aren't.

Also, with things people tend to specifically care about, they tend to like them done in a particular way. She likely doesn't want flowers taken without her knowledge and a random bunch dumped in there without any real interest in them in the same way I'd not want my knives thrown around re-blunting the blades and chipping the tips.

I understand that it's important to her, but through that understanding, I also understand that she likely wants it done in a very specific way.

If my partner wants me to do something, it would be better for the both of us if they were simply to ask me and be detailed about how they want it done.

In the same sense, I would never leave my knives out around the kitchen with poorly cut tomatoes around so that she might get the hit to sharpen the knives, while also hoping that she inherently knows how to do it the very specific way I want it to be done in my head.

As with most issues in relationships, if one partner would simply communicate clearly with the other, there would be no issue.

ComprehensivePipe448 · 2025-06-15T18:40:20+00:00

So you see this is a really good example of a toxic partner with terrible communication skills and I really hope he sees that video and breaks up with her

growframe · 2025-06-15T18:22:06+00:00

Women tell guys EXACTLY what they want with subtle hints

In the clip she gives an example of how she left some dead flowers on the table that her boyfriend regularly passes so he'd notice them and buy her new flowers.

So she didn't tell him exactly what he wants.

But because she didn't explicitly tell him to replace them, he will feign ignorance so that he doesn't have to put in ANY effort

Why can't she put in any effort to communicate? Why is it his responsibility to carry the emotional and communicative load in the relationship?

Or an even more proposteroud idea, why didn't she replace them herself?

Tj21040 · 2025-06-15T19:44:27+00:00

All this thread is showing me is that hoes and fwb’s are just more fun. Relationships are exhausting.

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-06-15T19:14:46+00:00

I‘m a woman and I would‘ve thought you probably just love these flowers so much you want to keep them as long as possible.

A friend of mine keeps her flowers untill they are completly dry and then some.

The woman was the idiot in this situation. Yes you should give your partner flowers or any other small acts of kindness to show they you still care.

But not everyone grew up in a household where flowers are a staple like toiletpaper that need to be replaced once it‘s due.

Epthewoodlandcritter · 2025-06-15T19:33:07+00:00

I've had male and female roommates. A female roommate might not replace the flowers but they will at least notice and say something.

Bewiz_Lisa · 2025-06-16T19:22:10+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't understand that "subtle hint" either, I'd either throw out the obv. dead flowers and be on my merry way or I'd figure she had some reason for keeping them (who knows what artsy-crafty people need at any given moment? etc.) and ignore them too. This is hilarious, does anyone seriously think that another person is responsible for picking up on their "subtle hints" or, wth is wrong with just telling someone outright that you want something...?

BCRE8TVE · 2025-06-16T21:31:50+00:00

Translation: women passive-aggressively demand men read their minds, then grow frustrated when men, who are not mind readers, are unable to read their minds.

This, coming from the gender who claims to be better communicators.

Proper communication means making sure a message has been sent, received, and understood.

Broadcasting a cryptic message into the void is not clear communication.

Expecting the cryptic message broadcasted into the void to be correctly and quickly heard, translated, understood, and acted upon is irrational.

Just like men aren't entitled to women's bodies, women are not entitled to men's time, mental efforts, and physical efforts.

You all are grown ass women who graduated high school giving oral presentations and writing essays. Use your words like the grown ups you claim to be.

He's obviously not blind. He obviously saw the dead flowers. But because she didn't explicitly tell him to replace them, he will feign ignorance so that he doesn't have to put in ANY effort.

Or, you know, he's seen the dead flowers but has no idea why they are there, and is thoughtful and caring in not throwing them away be a use maybe he thinks she wants to do some arts and crafts or a pot pourri or something.

Weird that women immediately jump to the worst possible interpretation of his actions whenever convenient and the best possible interpretation of her actions, even when she is clearly being passive aggressive and deliberately setting up a test for her partner, instead of being upfront, honest, and using her words like an adult rather than playing mind games and throwing tantrums like a child.

This is exactly the kind of behavior that makes it so men can't take women seriously.

And then they say men are immature ones who don't grow up.

Ultramega39 · 2025-06-15T18:02:08+00:00

Look, I think that maybe these women who obsess over giving hints should actually communicate what they want instead of relying on "easter eggs".

Like I definitely would not want to date someone who refuses to even tell me what she wants.

Open and clear communication > giving hints

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-06-15T20:30:17+00:00

The hallmark of a good relationship is being with someone who can know your wants and needs without you having to tell them.

The hallmark of an entitled woman is a woman who thinks she can get that without being a proactive communicator if she just finds the right guy.

To get to the point in a relationship where your partner can read your mind, you have to be a proactive communicator in meantime to build up that knowledge base for your partner.

People who are too anxious to ask for what they want in a relationship directly simply don’t deserve to get what they want end of story.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-06-15T21:44:04+00:00

We're still playing this kind of game while in the relationship it was set to fail for sure. Her doing that is just a sign she noticed she was with the wrong guy

alphamaker420 · 2025-06-15T17:57:39+00:00

Idk I think if you're unsatisfied in your relationship and feel your partner is only putting in the bare minimum you should communicate that with them and leave before the resentment sets in if they don't want to put in the effort. You're going to be left frustrated if you just sit around waiting for someone to do something you want. Your partner is a whole other person who's mind likely doesn't work the same way as yours. This is true in any relationship, not just romantic.

I don't really see buying flowers as a bare minimum in a relationship either, it's low on the list of priorities but everyone has their thing. If it's important to you then speak up.

Ylduts · 2025-06-16T03:31:08+00:00

Imagine thinking that giving hints is better than actually expressing your needs verbally.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-06-15T17:46:13+00:00

This is borderline abuse from women. Men don't want to play games and be manipulated. We want peace in our relationships. If you want something ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK NICELY. Men aren't as obessive as women. The trash doesn't need to be taken out right this second, the dishes can sit overnight, there is no wrong way to load the dishwasher, cleaning doesn't have to be done every day. Take a damn chill pill. Expecting men to read your minds is emotional abuse. This is why men are walking away. This is why I'd rather stay single than deal with women's emotional abuse. Act like an adult and like I used to tell my toddler, use your words.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-06-15T19:44:14+00:00

When I see this topic come up it makes me wonder, Do you women want men to not ask for things?

Would you prefer if you man never asked you for anything and gave you the opportunity to do it without being asked? What should he do if you don't do the thing that he wants?

Do you currently do things that your man wants without being asked?

midnight_blue77 · 2025-06-16T02:36:17+00:00

I think if I was her boyfriend I would dump her for putting me on blast like that after setting me up in such a trivial passive aggressive way. If this person really claims to love me why would they be on this BS? Just leave. Why is she with him at all then? Do right by the guy and have the guts to tell him to his face you don't really like him all that much. Why do women like to drag out this infuriating drama and then destroy a guys reputation al over social media? This is why so many of us are done.

Mindless-Rooster-533 · 2025-06-16T17:54:53+00:00

He obviously saw the dead flowers

He probably didn't.

nonquitt · 2025-06-15T19:33:35+00:00

Yeah but the flip side is women pretend not to notice that “he doesn’t want to and won’t”

mrcs84usn · 2025-06-15T17:47:35+00:00

With this particular circumstance, this feels like a game of “chicken” in terms of who’s going to be the one to finally throw away the damn flowers. THREE WEEKS of both of them not throwing away these dead flowers? Did either of them even say -anything- or are they both just holding their tongues?

Also, a quote from Rollo:

Most guys are natural pragmatists, we look for the shortest most efficient way between two points. The deductive reasoning that follows is that if we want sex, and women have the sex we want, we ought to ask them what conditions they require from us in order for us to get it. The problem is that women don’t want to tell us this, because in doing so it makes us less independent and and more compromising (and lazy) in our own identities in order to get at her sexuality. This is counter to the decisive, independent and masculine Man they really want and is evidenced in their behaviors. He should know what women want without asking because he’s observed them often enough, been successful with them often enough, and taken the efforts to make decisions for himself based on their behaviors, especially in the face of a world full of women’s conflicting words. This makes him the commodity in the face of a constant, overwhelming contradiction of her own and other women’s motives, words and behaviors.

She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.

Your_Mommy_Loves_Me · 2025-06-16T05:48:26+00:00

Can she talk? Wanna play games - fine, I'm in.

Forsaken-Ad-5913 · 2025-06-16T07:55:30+00:00

Why can’t she ‘just know’ that being provided with clear instructions and reminders is what will make me happy? Shouldn’t she ‘just know’ that’s what I want? Two can play this game, huh? Seriously though, in my opinion, clearly expressing your needs and desires like an adult is one of the keys to a healthy relationship, because doing otherwise is just a recipe for resentment. Instead of inventing a problem to get upset at, why not just make things easier on each other and make your desires clear? I know I hate it when people ‘guess’ what will make me happy, both because it feels transactional and because it’s rarely what I wanted anyway.

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WebNew9978 · 2025-06-15T20:18:09+00:00

I never noticed hints because the hints never existed in the first place. But at the same time, sometimes it might be better just to say what you want and don’t have anyone guessing.

MegaDriveCDX · 2025-06-16T02:03:32+00:00

LOL, what is this topic?

Superb-Foundations · 2025-06-17T08:38:36+00:00

I wouldnt make a big deal out of flowers but to me this really embodies, "If he wanted to, he would." Simple as that. He doesnt want to buy flowers for her. That's ok that he feels like that and its on her if she is ok being with a man who doesnt want to buy her flowers. 🤷

CerealExprmntz · 2025-06-17T16:08:00+00:00

"Women tell guys EXACTLY what they want with subtle hints.",

That is the funniest thing I've read all day. If you are using subtle hints, you are not being exact. These things are mutually exclusive.

In the clip she gives an example of how she left some dead flowers on the table that her boyfriend regularly passes so he'd notice them and buy her new flowers.

My God, there is so much wrong with this. Just because you like flowers, doesn't mean he has a moral responsibility to get them for you as often as you want. Leaving dead flowers on a table doesn't communicate anything. Again, he doesn't have a responsibility to make sure there are live flowers at all times. If they are so important to her, she can either open her mouth and say so or get them herself.

THREE WEEKS had gone by and they're still there! Crumbling all over the table. Now she has to replace them on her own.

Good. A pity she didn't learn to communicate her desire for flowers with words like an adult.

But because she didn't explicitly tell him to replace them, he will feign ignorance so that he doesn't have to put in ANY effort

Now you're just assuming the worst about him. I'm guessing because he's a man, right. No, he isn't feigning ignorance. The only one who thinks flowers are important is her. And instead of saying that she likes having fresh flowers on her table every day, she just imposes an expectation on him and gets mad that he doesn't get her new ones because she let the old ones die and rot on the table.

It's both lazy and inconsiderate of him.

I would argue that it's lazy and inconsiderate of her. It's also incredibly entitled. As much as you like flowers, the guy doesn't have a responsibility to get you any. And not getting you flowers doesn't make him a bad person. If they're that important to you, open your damn mouth and say so. Stop acting like the guy only exists to read your mind and satisfy your fleeting, unspoken desires.

Working_Food_2733 · 2025-06-25T08:46:35+00:00

so this TikTok gives a random example but If I had a girlfriend and she put some flowers on a table I would think it is a seasonal Thing not a hint and just a decoration. since I am bad at picking out things like what flowers would go good in a season with the ascetic of our house. I would not touch them

our Perception of hints changes depending on how attractive we are for example my attractive friend thinks thats just how girls act because they all flirt with him. and on the other side of the spectrum some men can be so deprived of female interactions means that just saying Hi will make them think you like the

attendquoi · 2025-06-15T18:03:59+00:00

Nah, I think this falls in the realm of "don't expect someone to give a fuck just because you do." She should vet for a man who gives a shit about flowers even when he's single.

kjk67895 · 2025-06-15T17:31:31+00:00

Idk if this is gender specific

anonqwertyq · 2025-06-15T18:26:19+00:00

How about the man buys the woman a potted flower? That way it won’t have to be replaced every two weeks.

Prior-Impression-871 · 2025-06-15T20:47:06+00:00

A question to men

Why do some of you act like getting flowers is some groundbreaking, unheard-of idea that takes extreme effort to think of? That's courtship idea 101. Just say it straight, you simply don’t want to do it

Title	CMV: Men pretend to not notice hints so they can continue putting in the bare minimum
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	276
Date	June 15, 2025 5:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lc5v4q/cmv_men_pretend_to_not_notice_hints_so_they_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-pretend-to-not-notice-hints-so-they-can.1554915 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554915

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