There are examples everywhere I look of women having low self-respect and not high enough standards in men--and paying the price for it later in life. Ladies, don't let that self-hating inner voice lead you to lower your standards.

Clarifier: as a woman, I am not applying this advice to average women who have outlier superficial standards like "he has to make over $500k" or "he has to be > 6'4" or "he has to have an 8 inch dick".

This is on my mind today because of my cousin. Let's get some assumptions out of the way: he was the first and only guy she dated and they met in high school; he is not college educated, while she is; he makes a lot less money than she does; he's one inch shorter than her; he is slightly overweight. So she wasn't chasing Chads by any means, and she obviously isn't with him "for his resources." She did everything exactly as the bitter men on this sub say women should. And she's paying the price dearly for it.

This man is not a competent father. Their kids are cared for almost exclusively by the mother. He has to be told how to do everything. I've seen it happen at family gatherings. Can't get a plate of food for the kid, can't pack the stroller, doesn't help with clean up, doesn't know where anything in the house is. Can't think for himself. All he wants to do is hang out at the bars with his high school buddies (keep in mind, this man is now 40).

She dated him because she was so insecure in herself and so desperate to have a boyfriend that she convinced herself that this was the guy she wanted to marry and start and family with. Her dream guy was definitely someone else, but she had so little self-love that she figured this was best she could do. And now that little high school sweetheart situation isn't cute anymore. Now it's a burden. Now she has another child--him.

This whole thing could have been avoided if she had just raised her standards, which would have taken a healthy dose of self-respect and patience. If she had broken up with him when he started demonstrating his incompetence, she could have dated other guys, seen what was out there. But she was so afraid to be single. Now, she acts like she wishes she were single again.

Ladies, we all know how easy it is be physically attracted to a wide variety of men, and how hard it is to find a man who's right on the inside for you. Do not settle for the inside stuff. Do not saddle yourself with decades of resentment and your free labor. Raise your standards and keep them high. Your future self with thank you.