Q4W: In light of recent trending "men don't approach women anymore" content - do you have a problem with men approaching you? Do you want to be approached? Or to be left alone? Why?

pie-mart · 2026-01-29T23:26:57+00:00

Not really. I personally only felt comfortable if im going to a club or a bar or a place where you go to meet people and socialize. I always felt bothered when im going about my day and trying to get errands done or mind my own business and then someone has to take my time and ask me questions about why I like bananas. Then telling me I am pretty. Asking for my number. Etc.

I don't mind when its done in places meant for socialization. Now, I don't really mind in regular places either. But some men have no concept of the space they take up plus being self aware or aware of others

Like once I was on a walk at a local park area. I had my headphones on and I was walking with a purpose. But someone stepped out and blocked the WHOLE path and started talking to me. I felt so intimidated I felt like I had to give him my IG. I blocked him when I got home. But there was no awareness of how he came across and no respect for the fact that I was listening to music and purposefully not making eye contact with anyone

It just, no matter how handsome you are, if I instantly feel bothered by you interrupting my thoughts or my errands. You are automatically starting off on the wrong foot.

If these type of men could read like which women looked unapproachable then it would be fine. I genuinely try to scowl and stuff as I walk when im not in the mood to be approached. I try to wear bleak clothes and wear headphones. So, to advertise that no one approach me but they still do

But I can't control that. But overall id rather never be approached than feel approached when im not in the mood for it.

ivegotcharisma · 2026-01-29T23:36:23+00:00

I like being approached. I massively respect it. I just don’t want to hear “ugly bitch” behind my back if I say no politely.

Novadina · 2026-01-29T23:27:12+00:00

I don’t like being approached by strangers. If it’s respectful it’s not a “problem” but doesn’t mean I have to like it.

theminxisback · 2026-01-30T04:26:32+00:00

I want men to stop approaching me entirely when I go out in public spaces. I am honestly sick of them not leaving me be. I would like to exist without having to guard myself constantly when I go out places. Would be nice to finally experience peace when I socialize. Instead of constantly having to run away, guard myself, bring other men with me as guardians to keep me safe and then some. I would very much like to actually experience going outside with getting little no attention from men whatsoever. I am over it. I'd like to be able to live my live freely. That would be a dream come true.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2026-01-30T01:23:53+00:00

Anyone can strike up a conversation with me at any time really. Unless I’m in a bad mood, I’ll talk to most strangers. If it’s an obvious “hey beautiful, I would love to show you a good time”, then it would have been annoying when I was young, now it would have me cracking up laughing.

I met my ex from a cold approach in a bar. We spent about 6 hours talking and went out for breakfast before he asked for my number.

RelativeYak7 · 2026-01-30T01:28:47+00:00

I never want to be approached by strange men. Don't care how respectful, I feel shocked and unsettled by it.

anomalocarus · 2026-01-29T23:28:54+00:00

Growing up i always heard about how horrible it is to be approached by men but now that its started happening i dont really see what the big deal is. Ive never had a guy be pushy or disrespectful, they take my no and move on with their life. I just wish more guys my age would ask me out. Im 22 and its always either teenagers or middle aged men for some reason.

I wouldnt say that i necessarily WANT to be approached but i dont really mind it, as long as the person asking is respectful.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-30T00:23:17+00:00

I don’t believe it, since I’m neither young nor attractive and still get hit on, both in acceptable and not acceptable ways.

I’d say there’s more harassment/catcalling than approaches now

Oli_love90 · 2026-01-30T01:22:22+00:00

So far, the men who have approached me have majority been kind, so yes I would like men to approach me.

I do think the meet cute is dead though. One of the reasons is the general distrust between strangers. People are super prickly. Even I’ve had interactions and I’m like “tf is up with that person?”

cb8585b · 2026-01-29T23:45:22+00:00

Don’t like it, never have never will. Even in your best case scenario assumptions in reality can quickly become awkward.

BrigidFairy · 2026-01-29T23:18:40+00:00

I don’t like being approached, it’s awkward, I don’t have the social skills to navigate it. But it’s mostly bcs who am I really to them?? I’d be just someone who said yes out of how many no’s they’ve received

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-01-29T23:58:09+00:00

Never been approached. Wouldn’t trust it. I’d say I’m not interested. Wouldn’t be annoyed.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-01-30T00:37:06+00:00

I don't like being approached by random dudes. Never have. I'd obviously prefer if a person was polite and took a "no" for answer than the alternative, but if I could have option c (don't approach me randomly), I'd go for that one.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-01-30T00:10:11+00:00

I’m married. I have zero desire to be approached online or offline.

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2026-01-29T23:54:32+00:00

Yes. Never cold approach. Warm approach over time.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-01-30T02:56:26+00:00

This is rather amusing. It’s clear those videos are either

Ai generated by men to create content for other men who are disgruntled with women and dating and willing to support the lifestyle of other men who make videos against women.
Women made these videos as a cash grab just like they did with pro trad wife content a few years ago. They are creating content that generates clicks because the more views and interactions the more money they earn so they will gladly tell men what they want to hear in order to make bank.

Just because men think a lot about approaching doesn’t mean women do. If a woman is looking for a relationship most women expect the man to approach but it’s such a hassle dealing with men irl. That’s why old wasn’t a bad approach to the dating problems of women. Too bad they didn’t take old far enough.

toasterchild · 2026-01-29T23:23:41+00:00

I would prefer mandatory online dating over being approached by more strangers. Having to reject people sucks, sucks more if they are likeable.

saraimarsena · 2026-01-29T23:34:49+00:00

i dont mind it as long as the guy is polite and can accept my no respectfully, like you said. and ime it’s fine, a bit awkward but not bothersome really. it happens to me pretty regularly because i use public transit, and i appreciate respectful compliments even though im not interested.

back when i was single i briefly dated a guy who cold approached me. i didn’t wish for it to happen more per se, because it already happened to me quite a lot.

im introverted but i can appreciate friendly interactions with strangers. i find it wholesome and sweet.

CatallaxyRanch · 2026-01-30T02:11:37+00:00

I would prefer to be approached, even if it's unpleasant sometimes, over never being approached.

I'm older and for the life of me I can't understand this hysteria over "unwanted approaches" now. It seems like a general trend among young people of extreme aversion to any situation that could potentially be awkward or uncomfortable. Ok you suffered an "unwanted approach"... and? Did you die? If he's not aggressive or scary, wtf is the big deal? Being a human means we have to interact with the other humans. Sometimes it's annoying. Oh well! Lighten up, you might even get a funny story out of it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-01-30T03:06:45+00:00

While married/taken: I don’t mind, but would definitely prefer not. It’s just awkward and hard to know when the proper time to end the conversation/mention a partner is. Sort of like when you know somebody who’s struck up a conversation is trying to sell you something, and you don’t want to be rude and walk away, but you also don’t want to waste their time.

While single: Very setting-dependent. In a fun, relaxed setting where people are more apt to actually linger and socialize (like a bar/club or activity/event), I didn’t mind at all. In fact that’s how I met my husband. Just going about my day not expecting to be approached… well, see the above paragraph. It’s awkward and not easy for someone like me to navigate. I’d usually blurt out something stupid, I feel stupid, they feel stupid, they slink away, I spend the rest of the day feeling stupid and probably so do they.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2026-01-30T11:15:08+00:00

Unless he wants to discuss the character arcs of avatar the last airbender then no leave me alone.

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Rule_Number_7 · 2026-01-29T23:45:31+00:00

He is polite, not invasive, and can take no for an answer without issue.

I'm fine as long as that's followed. As long as it is, approach if you want.

Pnina310 · 2026-01-30T02:15:16+00:00

I have never been asked on a date. I only even get approached for sex during depressive episodes, I presume I’m more approachable while depressed.

Men simply don’t approach me. I have pretty much given up on dating but if I encounter a man who actually has the balls to go up to me and initiate something, my faith in men will be restored.

StrugglingSoprano · 2026-01-30T17:18:47+00:00

I’m fine with it as long as the dude is respectful and in a similar age range to me. I’ve gone out with guys that have approached me in bars and I know a lot of other women who have too.

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2026-01-30T20:21:54+00:00

I prefer to be left alone in terms of dating because I know that I'll be the one approaching. Some other women want to be approached because they know they don't want to do it themselves. It's a matter of the individual, and a man shouldn't get punished for not having read your mind to guess your preferences, so it's also important to be open when the opposite of what you prefer happens and to treat that as an opportunity.

... what an elaborate way to say "I'm fine with either".

eichhoernchenlucy · 2026-01-31T01:20:47+00:00

I do not want to get approached more, especially not in settings that aren't inherently social - I would strongly advise against approaching me before I have had my coffee or when I am running errands. I might tolerate it at a social event or at a bar, but I also will not be upset if I go to a bar and no guy tries to hit on me. I think part of the discomfort is that at the beginning of such a conversation, I would not know whether he is going to be respectful and accept a no for an answer, so I would feel a bit tense. I also usually takes me some time to warm up to a new person, so it is unlikely that I would find a guy attractive already immediately after meeting him and I would probably turn him down anyway. It's not like I get approached so often that it hinders my life in any way, but apart from a very short-term ego boost, there's nothing good coming out of it for me, because I would not give a guy that I just met my contact information.

I usually meet new people at hobbies or through friends or at social events, usually first in a context that is not dating-like, and then once we have seen each other several times at different events and know we get along, we might decide to hang out more. I find this to be the most comfortable way of meeting people because dating apps also have the problem that I would have to decide very fast whether I like someone or not.

ThotismSpeaks · 2026-02-08T15:34:18+00:00

I am completely against cold approaches from strangers. They don't know anything about me except what I look like and at most have a vague idea of my interests or lifestyle. I wouldn't be comfortable learning more about them knowing that the pressure was on to connect romantically. I have only ever dated men who were already in our mutual social circle because I could get to know them organically on neutral ground.

Jonesdm5 · 2026-01-30T00:29:20+00:00

If you randomly approach a woman in the wild you are going to be accused or rape or arrested. At worst she’s a bitch to you and tells you to fuck off. The outcome depends on how attractive you are and how open she is to being spoke to in that moment. You will not be able to tell which women want to be approached and which ones don’t. Be respectful and take no for an answer and keep it pushin. That’s the only advice

Excellent_Badger123 · 2026-01-30T02:04:45+00:00

I don’t have a problem with men approaching me, it’s a normal way to meet someone if you live out in the real world. Be respectful and I’ll be polite and honest in return.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2026-01-30T02:36:15+00:00

Assuming all conditions are met i've always found it a bit flattering.

It's just that generally the approaches are... Not that.

bondepart · 2026-01-30T09:22:23+00:00

I do not want to be cold approached. Ever. It’s creepy.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-30T01:56:39+00:00

I hate being cold approached. It's the worst thing ever. Truly nothing I hate more than being cold approached.

I hate hate hate hate hate the idea that because a man finds me a attractive that's enough of a reason for me to be interested in him.

I got cold approached today and it took everything to not eye roll. Why? Because the cold approach template is the same today as it was 20 years ago. And there's nothing more annoying than a man lying and saying, "I never do this but blah blah".

Cold approaching is a waste of everyone's time.

Approach lukewarm/warm leads. Everyone will have better results.

Plus it's ridiculous to just approach someone because you think they are attractive. It's hardly enough to know if you'd even like the person once they talk back.

belongtomee · 2026-01-30T00:00:07+00:00

If he’s cute then yes I don’t mind a cold approach

If he’s ugly then my day is ruined 💔

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-30T00:39:56+00:00

I don’t mind being approached. I’m in a relationship so I’m not going to accept but there’s nothing wrong with shooting your shot as long as there is a modicum of situational awareness (don’t approach me at work pls) and it’s done respectfully (why is your first question “do you have a boyfriend” and not “hi how are you?”) and rejection is accepted with grace and reason (don’t tell me I’m a bitch for saying I’m not interested)

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-01-30T04:45:54+00:00

I mean they do still approach. I have no issues with it as long as the accept a no with out any drama

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-30T05:00:01+00:00

I wanted to be approached when I just started dating. Now I don't actively want it but i I'm not against it. I'm fine either way.

Title	Q4W: In light of recent trending "men don't approach women anymore" content - do you have a problem with men approaching you? Do you want to be approached? Or to be left alone? Why?
Author	CloudsTasteGeometric
Upvotes	6
Comments	154
Date	January 29, 2026 11:13 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qqodae/q4w_in_light_of_recent_trending_men_dont_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-in-light-of-recent-trending-men-dont-approach.1572266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572266

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